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melaniecullen96 PM
Biography
Joined Jun '09

Hi my name is melanie and i am 14 years old.i love reading and i like to make up stories.i have 3 little sistas (i sware thier out to get me!!).i live in california and i LOVE twilight and god (im catholic) i also love animals(carnivors i like the best cats,dogs,wolves,mountain lions, eagles,tigers ect...) ironic cause i have no pets!!i also love to be random and hang out with my friends!!i also think the forest is the most beautiful place in the world. especialy during sunset or sunrise...i have a hard time staying on track ...im just wierd like that :P

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what??.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

WIERD POEM !!

Many many years ago
when I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow
who was pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown-up daughter
who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
and soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
My daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa.

Well! Have a nice day.

methods of Love...
+kiss on the cheek--"we're friends"
+kiss on the ear--"i'm horny"
+kiss on the hand--"i adore you"
+kiss on the neck--"we belong together"
+kiss on the shoulder--"i want you now"
+kiss on the lips--"i love you" or "i want you"
+holding hands--"we can learn to love each other"
+a wink--"Let's get it on"
+slap on the butt--"that's mine"
+playing with the ear--"i can't live without you"
+holding on tight--"don't let go"
+looking into each others eyes--"let's get romantic"
+playing with hair on head--"tell me you love me"
+arms around the waist --"i love you too much to let go"
+laughing while kissing--"i am completely comfortable w/you"

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when you're in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his friends,

who thinks you're beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER!

We love them for a million reasons, no paper do it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the

heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

This chain started in 2002.

It is a chain love letter.

In an hour you are supposed to repost

this.

Now here comes the fun part.

You then say the name of the person

you love or like,

then the person will say "I love you"

or "would you go

out with me".

NO JOKE!!

NOW THE COSENQUENCES!!

The consequences are:

If you break this chain letter, you

will have bad luck

with future relationships.

If you don't, you will be a happy camper. Congratulations! !

You have been chosen to participate in

the LONGEST and

LUCKIEST chain letter ever written on

the internet.

Once you read this letter, you must

IMMEDIATELY (within the hour)

post it with the title Message

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this ice ice _ --ummm still not cool, even then.

You remember watching:
-Doug
-Ren & Stimpy
-Pinky and the Brain
-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
-Rockos modern Life.

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember:
-TGIF
-Step by Step
-Family Matters
-Dinosaurs
-Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everything was settled by:
-rock paper scissors or
-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
-daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching:
-The Magic School Bus
-Wishbone
-Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching:
-the 1st Batman
-Aladdin
-Ninja Turtles
-3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)

one word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.

You had slap bracelets!

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

funny stuff

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it?

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!

Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup?

Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

If something goes without saying, why do people say it?

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told Santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

Everything here is edible. I am edible, but, that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

"It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

I ran with scissors and lived! ( i seriously think that one should be put on a t-shirt)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder

I only have PMS on days that end with a Y

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over!

Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.

It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a life.

Words to live by

-He who laughs last thinks slowest

-Who ever said that nothing was impossible clearly never tried to slam a revolving door.

-If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

-Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.

-1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

-One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

-We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass

-Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

-If at first you try and don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

-A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh?"

-A day without light is, well, night

-Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

-Those who cannot remember the past are going to spend a lot of time in mall parking lots looking for their cars

-Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

-I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

- I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

-If you're forced to choose between two evils, choose the one you've never tried before.

-if anyone here is telekinetic, raise my hand

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Crazy is when you do or say a comp

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.

Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word.

Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style.

Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names.

Crazy is when you shout at random people on the streat"THAT EVIL,PURPLE,GREEN POLKA-DOTTED MONKEY STOLE AND ATE MY TACO AGAIN!!"

Crazy is when you tell your teacher that the reason you're failing her class is because her hair is distracting you.

Crazy is when you go onto a busy street and shout "I like bananna flavoured".

Crazy is when you run upto a guy who looks, from the back, like Rob Pattinson and kiss him on the cheek.

Crazy is when someone says there 'team Jacob' and you run around the school field screaming in horror "GET THIS SHITTY DOG STENCH OFF OF MEEEEEEE".

Crazy is when you print of '79 things to do in an elevator' (a twilight fanfic) and do them!.

Crazy is when you run into a door and then throw a tanrum about why someone would put a door in a doorway.Daily.

Crazy is when you randomly shout out "Magic Bananas" then two minutes later shout " Plátanos Magicos"

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Thє Twιlιght Sαgα ιs α Drug...

And I'm Proud To Bє Addιctєd TWILIGHT OATH:
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
I promise to remember Edward
Whenever a volvo drives threw town
I promise to obey traffic laws
of course for charlies sake
and whenever a wolf howls I promise to remember jake
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
I promise to despise the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know!
...V...Put this
...A...On your
...M...Profile
...P...If
...I...You
...R...Have
...E...That crazy
...S...Obsession over vampires© 0RiGiNAL TWILGIHT FAN

This is weird, but interesting! If you
can Raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too Can you raed
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COPY AND PASTE ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT --

Bella: Do I ever cross your mind?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you like me?

Edward: No

Bella: Do you want me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you cry if I left?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you live for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Would you do anything for me?

Edward: No

Bella: Choose--me or your life

Edward: My life

Bella runs away in shock and pain and Edward runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I choose my life is because you are my life.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think the whole Jacob/Nessie thing is WAY creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing Twilight Fanfictions...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you love Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Less than 1 precent of teenages don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

If you're against racism, prejuice, discrimination, or even stereotype, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. 80 of the talking you do today will be to yourself.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you agree with Bella that her life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. Thinking it sucks is an understatement for me.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

95 of the kids out there are concerned about being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it into you profile and add you name to the list. AnimeKityCafe, Hyperactivly Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revanant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, bubbleyum, Sakura90873, tomboy14, the Reading Maid, Kiya-san, Cha-chan-hyper, h/t4eva, Stefanlover12, -I-Luv-Tugsy-, pieface01,melaniecullen96

IF you get called a nickname copy this into your profile and add your name to the list and say your nick name. Stefanlover12 "Robin Hood", -I-Luv-Tugsy "Kayzieboots", pieface01 "lalaki" or "dypie",melaniecullen96 "melo" "water-melon"

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it copy this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.(More like punch)

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever read morethan 10 at one time, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent hours just thinking about Twilight and alternate situations copy and past this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.
(coughtwilightcough)

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you have the biggest amount of OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder)-Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-six percent of teens in the world today don't stand up for God. If you are one of the 4 percent that does put this in your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer

If you've ever had a laughing fit for no reason copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

if you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?” copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Edward's One True Love, oceaneyes85253, TheEmoSideOfMe, EdwardlovesChristyalways, Blue eyed vampwolf, finger craker, Airlin, vampire-twilight-freak, pieface01,melaniecullen96

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

Paste this into your profile if you are a Procrastination addict.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you've ever spent numerous hours looking for stuff that remind you of any of the Cullens/Swans, copy and and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you think Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are someone who begs to differ from the crowd, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

The Friend Pledge

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try and dislodge whatever is in your throat.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4 When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could get until you stop whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me. I don't want whatever you've got.

8. When you fall, I will ask if you're okay, sit there and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This oath I pledge until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Other people can see it. But only you, can truly feel it's warmth.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:let you cry on thier shoulder when he dumps you
BEST FRIENDS:walk up to him and say ,"It's cause your gay isnt it"

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

You call me a B well a B is a female dog. A dog barks. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. So thanks for the compliment :D

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

There was a man who was rich, staying at a really nice hotel. One day when he was walking home from work, there were three girls from seven to fifteen telling people that they would do anything for them to get paid. They were clearly poor and had no where to stay. The man asked them if they would do anything for him if he paid them twenty dollars each and the girls agreed. He gave his hotel card to the three girls and told them to go to his room and he would be there soon. While the girls went, he went out to buy buckets of ice cream and candy and movies for them to watch. He went back and the whole night he treated the girls to room service and sweets, playing games and watching movies. If you believe the man did the right thing and that there is good in everyone, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

1.

If practice makes perfect & nobody's perfect, why practice?

2.

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner.

3.

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

4.

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?

5.

What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?

6.

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

7.

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

8.

When someone with multiple personalities threathens suicide, can that be considered a hostige situation?

9

What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?

10.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

11.

Why do they call it "common sense" when it's so rare?

12.

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

13.

If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?

14.

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

15.

If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?

16.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

17.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

18.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

20.

If God didn't want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

22.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

23.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

24.

Psychics never win the lottery. Why is that?

25.

How can two space ships meeting always face the right way up in Sci-Fi movies?

26.

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

27.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

28.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

29.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

30.

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

31.

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

32.

If you blame someone for your failures, do you credit them for your achievements?

33.

If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

34.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

35.

How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour?

36.

Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker??

37.

Why do we chop a tree "down" and then chop it "up"?

38.

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

39.

Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren't we clean when we use them?

40.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If money doesn't make us happy, then what does it do?

42.

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

43.

If ours is a man made world, why can't we remake it?

44.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

45.

When people say "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed," What side is the right side?

46.

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

47.

Why do we put suits in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?

48.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

49

When Puerto Rico joins the union, where will they put the 51st star?

50

Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2. Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7. Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex.
(Like Nike says, "Just do it")
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her
When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don’t let go
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong
When she ignores you, give her your attention
When she pulls away, pull her back
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don’t say a word
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, protect her
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, don’t believe it, talk with her, because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her, call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world, let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her, let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking babe?"
(awwwww i would cherish any guy who does that for me!!!

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