(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
Need to Knows
NAME: You don't need to know
GENDER: female
AGE: 13-18
HAIR: Long, straight, Blonde
EYES: Brown
HEIGHT: 5' 7" ish
LOCATION: Small town, USA, Earth, Milky Way, Universe, Somewhere...
HOBBIES: reading, writing, listening to music, watching t.v, baseball, horseback riding (beginner), bike
FAVORITE BOOKS: Gallagher Girls series, Harry Potter, Obernewtyn chronicles, Forensic Mystery Series, Gemma Doyle, Kay Scarpetta series and lots more (I like to read the book before I see the movie)
FAVORITE ARTIST: Jessica Andrews
FAVORITE SHOWS: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate Universe, NCIS, Warehouse 13, Eureka, Criminal Minds, CSI (the older ones), Bones, Leverage, Cold Case, Haven, Rizzoli & Isles, The Glades, Veronica Mars
Pairs:
Stargate Sg-1:
Jack/Sam (they're so cute together)
Daniel/Janet (before Janet died, cry)
Daniel/Vala (funny)
Teal'c/Istha
Cam/Carolyn
Stargate Atlantis:
John/Teyla (so cute)
Elizabeth/Rodney (Before Liz dies, cry)
Rodney/Jennifer
Ronon/Amelia
Evan/Laura
NCIS:
Tony/Ziva
Abby/Tim
Gibbs/Jenny
Bones:
Brennan/Booth
Angela/Hodgins
Sweets/Daisy
Leverage:
Nate/Sophie
Eliot/Parker (they're so cute...and funny!)
FAVORITE MOVIES: Harry Potter, Stargate, Stargate: The Ark of Truth, Stargate: Continuum, Sherlock Holmes
WHEN I GROW UP: maybe a doctor, scientist, investigator...
ABOUT ME: I want to learn how to fly, really wish some TV shows, movies, and books were real. I'm weird, but so are my friends and family. I would love to travel to Egypt, Greece, Paris, England, and other historical places. I love history, hate gym, and like french (I'm not really good).
Favorite Quotes: (long list)
FROM T.V.
(Amanda Tapping on the set of Solitudes while chipping away at the ice with Richard Dean Anderson.)
AT: (to RDA) You spent seven years on MacGyver and you can't figure this one out? We--we got belt buckles, shoe laces, a piece of gum, build a nuclear reactor, for cryin' out loud! (laughter from the crew) You used to be MacGyver, MacGadget, MacGimmick, now you're Mr. -- MacUseless! Dear God! I'm stuck on a glacier with MacGyver! (more laughter)
- Blooper from Solitudes - Stargate SG-1(love it)
Vala: (whispering to Daniel) I'm going to go crazy...and I'm taking you with me!
- Unending - Stargate SG-1
Jack: I didn't leave...because I'd rather have died myself...then lose Carter...
Anise/Freya: Why?
Jack: Because I care about her...a lot more than I'm supposed to...
- Divide and Conquer - Stargate SG-1 (that's so sweet)
Jack: You know what the Goa'uld really want from us? Minnesota, that's what. For the fishing mostly.
- The Fifth Man - Stargate SG-1
"Lose it... It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties,
three fries short of a Happy Meal, wacko!" Jack O'Neill- Stargate SG-1
Daniel: I think they’re a family.
Jack: Of what?
Vala: Well as your mother, I'm putting my foot down. You're too young to have an army.
O'Neill has tossed a Kleenex box through the Stargate to Abydos as a message to Jackson
Maj. Samuels: What if the aliens get it?
O'Neill: Well, sir, they could be blowing their noses right now.
-Children of the Gods
O'Neill: Oh, here we go. Another scientist. General, please.
Carter: Theoretical astrophysicist.
O'Neill: Which means?
Hammond: Which means she's smarter than you are, Colonel.
-Children of the Gods
Carter: I'm an Air Force officer just like you are, Colonel. And just because my reproductive organs are on the inside instead of the outside doesn't mean I can't handle whatever you can handle. (You got that right)
-Children of the Gods
Col. O'Neill: Listen, I gotta ask you something. It's not easy for me.
Maj. Kawalsky: We're friends.
Col. O'Neill: If you don't make it... can I have your stereo?
-Children of the Gods
Regarding Carter's dressing like the locals
Dr. Jackson: Anthropologists do it all the time. They dress and live as the people they're studying.
Capt Carter: I'm not an anthropologist.
Col. O'Neill: gleefully You are today. (jerk)
-Emancipation
At Jackson's suggestion to blend in with the local populace, Carter has allowed herself to be dressed in an elaborate and heavily embroidered silk headdress and gown
Carter: Daniel, find me an anthropologist that dresses like this and I will eat this headdress.
-Emancipation (it was pretty ugly)
Carter: Janet Fraiser was an extraordinary person. She was kind and funny and talented. Above all, she was courageous. Try as I might I could not find the words to honor her, to do justice to her life. Thankfully I got some help. While words alone may not be enough, there are some names that might do. We often talk about those that give their lives in the service of their country, and while Janet Fraiser did just that, that's not what her life was about. The following are the names of the men and women who did not die in service, but who are in fact alive today because of Janet.
-Heroes (Janet was amazing)
President Hayes is reading through SG-1's reports
Pres. Hayes: "Hosted alien dignitaries"… "Acquired alien technology"… "Traveled back in time"? …Did they really blow up a sun?
Gen. Maynard: As I understand it, sir, yes they did.
Pres. Hayes: That's gotta look awfully good on the ol' résumé, eh?
-Inauguration
Pres. Hayes: How these people maintain their sanity is beyond me. I'm having trouble just sitting here listening to it.
-Inauguration (I agree)
NCIS:
DiNozzo: about Ziva hitting his abdomen Do it.
McGee: As hard as she can?
DiNozzo: As hard as you can.
McGee: You know that's how Houdini died.
DiNozzo: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all of their names. -Corporal Punishment
Eli David: With traffic, I wasn't expecting you for another hour.
Officer Ziva David: I drove.
Eli David: Enough said. -Aliyah
Gibbs: Ziva, tough time at the Pawn Shop?
Ziva: sighs I ran into a stone wall.
DiNozzo: Brick wall.
Ziva: No! It was stone wall! I backed up too quickly. -Hide and Seek
DiNozzo: Curious to find out what follows "red light" behavior, Ziva?
Ziva: Uh... potential pregnancy? -Driven
Ziva: to a suspect who has grabbed her butt Remove your hand or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it! -Singled Out
McGee: Well, there's no bag. Maybe the killer took it.
Ziva: Maybe she just didn't have a bag.
McGee: Every woman has a bag.
Ziva: Do I have a bag, McGee?
McGee: No, but you're not a... Well, I mean, you're a woman. You're just not a... not a normal...
-Once a Hero (i don't have a bag)
Abby: I have good news and I have bad news Gibbs, the good news is I'm still cute...
-Switch
Tony: There was a charge on my credit card for a vintage barbie doll; career girl outfit?
McGee: Oh, with the matching briefcase and pumps?
Tony: ...?!
McGee: I had a girlfriend who collected once. We used to- ...We'd line 'em up on the-
Tony: I lost respect for you at the word "pumps"...
-Switch
Tony: That’s original, McGee. Is there any part of your brain that’s your own?
McGee: At least I have one, Tony.
Tony: What’s that supposed to mean?
McGee: Nothing.
Tony: We’re not going anywhere.
McGee: What, until I apologize?
Tony: No, not until you apologize. We’re in the wrong damn car.
-Switch
Gibbs: McGee?!
McGee: Yo!
Gibbs: Sketch, get close enough without breaking your neck.
McGee: On it!
Gibbs: DiNozzo, photos! (pauses) Is there a problem?
Tony: Well, you didn't say anything about my neck. (Gibbs stares Tony down) Uh... I'll be careful.
-Switch
Ziva: Hinky? What's hinky?
Tony: You know, like when your gut is telling you something.
Ziva: I see. In my country we refer to that as gas.
-Switch
(trying to decide who should go down a steep hill)
McGee: Well, as you've pointed out many times, I'm just a junior field agent.
Tony: All the more reason you need the experience, Probie.
McGee: How about I follow in your footsteps as you lead the way?
Tony: How about you kiss my experienced buttocks.
-Switch
Leverage:
Eliot: What's in it for me?
Nathan: Payback, and if it goes right, a lot of money.
Parker: And what's in it for me?
Nathan: A lot of money, and if it goes right, payback.
[While watching Sophie performing on stage]
Hardison: She's very awful.
Parker: Is she injured... in the head?
Eliot: Seriously man, she's the worst actress I've ever seen.
Nathan: This is not her stage.
Nathan: We're going to the burn scam.
Hardison: Going to plan B.
Nathan: Technically that would be plan G.
Hardison: How many plans to we have? Is there like a plan M?
Nathan: Yeah, Hardison dies on plan M.
Eliot: I like plan M.
Parker: My money is not in my account. That makes my cry inside... in my special angry place.
Eliot: He tried to kill us.
Parker: More importantly he didn't pay us.
Eliot: How is that more important?
Parker: I take that personally.
Eliot: There's something wrong with you.
Parker: I bought a plant…
Hardison: Nice! Team spirit…
Parker: What does it do?
Spencer: Whoops…
Nathan: What 'whoops'?
Hardison: It's a webcam.. Picking up its broadcast over the phone.
Parker: I see it, up on that pole.
Hardison: " just have to spoof the IP address and overlay it completely over Wi-Fi and...
[Eliot throws a rock to the camera]
Hardison: ...or that..
Eliot: Let's go...
Hardison: I'm sorry it's too far away for you to punch.. I'm sure that frustrates you..
Hardison: OK, I see what this is.. this is racial.. This is about my ethnicity, ain't it... it's because I'm Jewish
Parker: They changed the lock.
Hardison: Just do what you do. i mean, whatever, what you need?.
[Parker holds up a block of C4]
Hardison: Na. Mmm-Mnn. Stop all that playing. Mmm-Mnn. Hell no... [walks to other side of white truck].
Parker: I once saw a horse kill a clown...
[While crawling through the air duct]
Parker: Looks like Parker is gonna have to crawl through the air duct again. God forbid anyone else would have to learn how to fricking crawl on their stomach through a tiny space. It’s not rocket science, people.
Eliot: Parker, you realize that we can still hear you.
[while stuck at the elevator]
Sophie: What is that you just took?
Grant: Xanax - for my nerves.
[back upstairs]
Parker: Actually caffeine... with a dash of dextro-amphetamine..
Eliot: You gave him speed?
Hardison: He beat up a priest.
Hardison: Stigmata paint ball gun..
Nathan: No, no, no...
Eliot: Yeah! How does that work?
Hardison: I've been practicing. Check me out...
[Hardison aims but misses by a meter]
Nathan: Ok Hardison, can you just make the statue cry without melting St. Nick's head?
Parker: Don't melt Santa!
Hardison & Eliot: It's not Santa!
Eliot: What are you, 10 feet from that? How can you miss that? You're standing right there? Unbelievable...
Hardison: Everybody can't be Eliot. Shut up... Shut up!
Parker: Is that St. Nicholas?
Hardison: Yep.
Parker: Santa Claus has a church?
Eliot: He's not Santa Claus.
Nurse: All right father, I have your test results right here; high cholesterol, elevated sed rate ...and it looks like you're pregnant. I'm gonna need you to stick around and re-test.
Parker: Don't melt Santa!
Eliot and Hardison together: It's NOT Santa!
(Booth is helping Bones make "an official request to the FBI to be allowed to carry a concealed weapon")
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Reason for wanting a gun?
Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan: To shoot people.
-Bones
(Bones is pushing a boxer-only clad Booth across the lab on a metal table)
Angela Montenegro: Are we doing experiments on Booth? Because if we are I'd like to help.
-Bones
Jimmy Napolitano: You hurt my boy, I'll kill your brothers, your uncles, your father. And after their funerals I'll kill you.
L.J. Gibbs: No brothers, no uncles, my father passed years ago. I do have three ex-wives, whose names and addresses I will gladly fax on to you.
The Day After Tomorrow (i love this movie)
Brian Parks: Man you've got some serious competition.
Sam Hall: Please.
Brian Parks: And I'll bet he's really rich too.
Sam Hall: Shut up.
Jeremy: Friedrich Nietzsche! We cannot burn Friedrich Nietzsche; he was the most important thinker of 19th Century!
Elsa: Oh, please! Nietzsche was a chauvinist pig, who was in love with his sister.
Jeremy: He was not a chauvinist pig.
Elsa: But he was in love with his sister.
Brian Parks: Uh... 'scuse me? You guys? Yeah... there's a whole section on tax law down here that we can burn.
Jack Hall: on Sam failing calculus I'm not angry. I'm disappointed.
Sam Hall: Do you wanna hear my side of it?
Jack Hall: Sam, how can there be two sides? (there's always two sides)
Sam Hall: Hey, look, I got every question right on the final and the only reason why Mr. Spengler failed me was because I didn't write out the solutions.
Jack Hall: Why not?
Sam Hall: I do them in my head.
Jack Hall: Did you tell him that?
Sam Hall: I did. He didn't believe me. He said if he couldn't do them in his head then I must be cheating.
Jack Hall: Well, that's ridiculous! How can he fail you for being smarter than he is?
Sam Hall: That's what I said.
Jack Hall: smirks You did? How'd he take it?
Sam Hall: He flunked me, remember?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, obviously never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Don’t mess with me...I've got a stick.
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didn't work that way…so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
You can’t be late until you show up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven’t sent one out.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn’t pay..so if you keep reading, you’ll go broke. (I still love to read)
Anyone who uses the phrase “easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried taking candy from a baby.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
Clever men are good, but they are not the best.
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. (Well...unless your Ziva...or Gibbs...or Eliot...)
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
I'm sarcastic, always, and I love it.
A friend will comfort you when your rejected, but a best friend will go up to him and say, "Its because your gay isnt it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
I only speak two languages - English and bad English.
There are three kinds of people: Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to come to your funeral, because I'd be in jail for killing the person who killed you
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.
95 of teens would cry if they saw Miley Cyrus at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you are in the 5 that would sit there eating popcorn and yelling "DO A FLIP!!"
(\_/)
( o.o )
(U U )
This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6, GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx, Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc., Journalist793, XxxBeLLxXxGiRlxxX76, Jake the Drake, Silverloc303, 3 fries short of a happy meal
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."
I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.
Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!"
LADIES don't start fights,we FINISH them.
Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?
"I didn't trip! I was testing gravity...it still works."
Not only do I fall down stairs but I trip up them as well. Now that takes TALENT!
Man: Baby you must be psychic. Women: Why? Man: Because you saw me coming and looked hot for me. Women: I am psychic. And if you don't go away, me and my 3 inch heels don't see any kids in your future.
During my second year of nursing school our professor gave us a quiz. I breezed through the questions until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was a joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before the class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our grade. "Absolutely," the professor said. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy. ~Joann C. Jones
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda"
15 THINGS I'M GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Re-post this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things
COURTROOM QUOTATIONS
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Witness: "By death." Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask." Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?" Witness: "Er...his face."
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
QUESTIONS ASKED At LIBRARIES.
"I'm looking for a book." "
"Do you have books here?"
"Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"
"Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"
"Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"
"I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck."
"Is the basement upstairs?"
"I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months."
"I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It's big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?"
A Stupid Person's Guide To Life
Don't eat rocks.
Don't take naps in the road.
Don't stoke fires with your fingers.
Don't throw a brick straight up.
Don't breathe car exhaust.
Don't flip off the Mafia.
If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.
Wash behind your ears, not behind your eyes.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS:
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Friend: Will give me an umbrella in the rain.
Best Friend: Will steal my umbrella and yell "Run, bitch, run!"
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will give me up to the police for her freedom
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are FOREVER...
PICK UP LINES:
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Eighty percent of Americans don't smoke. If you're one of that eighty percent, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren’t, copy this, put it in your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you love your iPod, copy and paste this into your profile. (I don't know if I could live without it)
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. (yep)
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile.
If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy this into your profile!
If you dream in color, copy this into your profile.
If you support finding a cure for breast cancer, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been attacked by a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.
Olny fteefin prenect of poelpe can raed this. If you are one fo taht prenect, cpoy and pstae tihs itno yuor porflie.
If you have a very wide variety of interests, copy and paste this to your profile.
Copy and paste this to your profile if your parents are not divorced.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think sex should wait until AFTER marriage, copy and paste this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you've ever wondered how on earth morning people are ... well peppy in the morning? If so copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have or ever have had an imaginary friend, copy and paste this into your profile!
If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it even longer!
If you secretly hoped to get a letter from Hogwarts when you were eleven put this in your profile.
Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this onto your profile.
If you have been on the computer for hours on end reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wanted to go into a book & strangle the characters for being SO dumb, put this on your profile!
If you have TONS of books in your room and think it's odd when people just stare at them, put this on your profile!
If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing their butts off.
If you think up stories faster than you can write them and are too lazy to do that for most of them anyway, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list so I know I'm not the only one: alansquill, kuyoki1789 (really, I do. Half the time nobody has a clue what's going on in my mind if they could read it),BadWolf93, 3 fries short of a happy meal
If you hate racism, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love reading, copy this into your profile. (READING=MY LIFE)
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If somebody ever underestimated or doubted your intellect, copy and paste this into your profile
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile
If you are willing to rebel against the flamers and anyone who is bad in the world and harms any animal or plant of any sort (except a few selected) copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Holly Marie Fowl, MajorSamanthaCarter, 3 fries short of a happy meal
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with a lot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.:HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, Always Running The Labyrinth, IzzydaWolfeGrrl, YayForMagicDetectivesAndStuff,THE Giant Dorito Of Doom, 3 fries short of a happy meal
Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over.
Yeah, I know I've got a long profile, but it keeps me happy in my very... happy place!