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Joined Sep '09

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, Insane Winged Girl, Faxness-Fan48, An-Jelly-Ca,VMsuperfan, SVUlover, daisy617, Pillsbury Dopegirl10, Yaoifangirl42,Animefreak469, ChibiUlquiorra, Blacksand1, ArktonDartorix, Darthdragon,One Time Dancer (Yeah i have nothing better to do i get bored easily)

If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, Arsao Tome, One Time Dancer


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, go do... something really stupid. Like writing an overused vamp-fic plot. Thats productive, go do that.


OiiiIii!!! To all flamers, get bent!!! This is purely for lulz and the majority is taken from Uncyclopedia! Sasuke lovers should not come here unless they have a good sense of humor, and the same goes for Sakura lovers and anyone in the article who gets the short end of the stick. Now...

Uncyclopedia: The funniest thing since the banana dance


Naruto: The ultimate character of all time, he is the son of the Fourth Hokage, the brother of Asakura Yoh, Kurosaki Ichigo, Son Goku, The old man down the Street, and the Kool-aid man. He's a total babe magnet, and on several occasions has proven to be increasingly powerful over those other types (Sasuke). Kishimoto, the creator of the series fucking loves this guy, which is why he made him a genius at the age of zero, and had everyone in the village love him and shower him with praise while getting a harem of beautiful women since he was three years old and gave him the most useful powerups in the entire series that make everyone wonder, "What about Sasuke?"

He is modest and love able, with a fluffy tail and fox like ears that make his girls squeal in joy. His current women (subject to change mind you) are Hinata Hyuuga, Tenten, Temari, Haku (Sexy Spirit), his own fox Demon, Chloe Sullivan, Mary-Jane Watson, Anko Mitarashi, Tayuya, Tsuchi Kin, and Supergirl. He has no qualms about lost teammates that left the village for pedophiles and knows when someone doesn't like him, even though that is not very likely, as we can all see that from the loving looks the villagers give him.

Sasuke "The Boy in the Closet" Uchiha

Naruto's first team-mate. Sasuke was originally named Sasugay but due to copyright issues of the real fans of Naruto, caused his family to replace his named with a much more iless insult prone title like the one he has now. He wants to have revenge against his brother Itachi for killing his whole family except for him, even though he's jealous of Itachi being the awesome character he will never, ever, ever, ever be - making Sasuke a true role model for 12-year-old children like him everywhere. Seeing everyone he loved murdered before his eyes has also caused him to act all dark and angsty. He possesses a magic eyeball that can steal any move and impress the ladies, even though he has no interest in them. In addition to all of this, he swallowed the series' main villain, Orochimaru whole. HIS DARKNESS IS TOO STRONG!

Sakura Haruno

entirely useless, Sakura has no skills will Suck For ever in Naruto.

In the early part of the series, she created a world record of 13.2 Sausage-Kun per Minute (SKpM), which made her believe that she was stronger than Naruto. This belief was broken when Naruto created his own record of 31.2 Sausage per Minute (SpM). Though she did beat him with her great vocabulary

Her main point in the entire series is to well and rant about everything the others characters do, even if they are doing it right, and thats why she is useless. It doesn't matter if any of them save the world, she will keep bitching and say it's wrong. For this, and her annoying ass voice, everyone has irrational hatred for her .Seriously, when does she die?

Kakashi Hatake

The leader of Team 7, who spends most of his time protecting his students and keeping them unified. However, he was not a good enough leader to keep a 12-year-old Sasuke from defecting to one of the major villains' side. It also might have been because of that one technique he often used... and he already told you, he's NOT David Bowie!


Sasuke's replacement. Unlike angsty teenagers who merely whine about how they have no social skills, Sai really does not, in fact, have any social skills, as instead of actual experience his Umbridgian superiors forced him to get acquainted with the subject through a series of educational videos (this is not said outright, but heavily implied). Sai's main weapon is the deadly art of insultery, as seen in the following example.

Sai: You're weak. Do you even have a penis?
Guybrush: Why? Did you want to borrow one? (Guybrush wins).

Jiraiya: A perverted old hermit. His story involvement is "small" at first but gets "larger" as the "plot" progresses. His story eventually reaches its "climax" when he enters the Akatsuki "hideout".

Orochimaru: Black-haired, pale, and noseless, Orochimaru is a major antagonist. He was the source of many of the events of the series until he died unexpectedly on June 25th, 2009. Many servants of Orochimaru flocked to his hideout to pay their respects. And then they turned into snake food.

Tsunade: The 5th Hokage, whose most distinctive feature is her large, round, eyes. Before she became Hokage, she was known as "The Legendary Sucker". She had a maid named Shizune, however she was killed by some guy named Pain. Tsunade was in a coma after seeing Naruto strip in front of her, however she woke up and now wants to fuck his life forever. You read that right, don't bother trying to read again, you'll only laugh.

Itachi Uchiha: Sasuke's older brother, who killed the entire Uchiha family (except for Sasuke). Actually, the whole family was plotting to boycott him by taking away his allowance. One of the Akatsuki's most prominant members and the one with the potential to overtake Deidara in both popularity and fan-girls. Once was a bad-ass bad guy, but after later being revealed to have been protecting Sasuke all along, he became a not-so-bad-ass tragic hero, but a mighty popular one never the less. Oxymorons look kickass because they know how to multitask.

Kisame Hoshigaki :A half man, half shark ninja whom is a member of Akatsuki. He is the son of well known shark Jaws. He fights with a giant popsicle stick and has a tendency to ask his opponents before hand if they heard of him. If they respond yes, regardless of their gender he will want to get "acquainted" with them later. Should they respond no, he cuts them to ribbons. And then he sells them to the Girl Scouts to tie knots with.

Deidara: The flamboyant and arrogant terrorist of Akatsuki and bastard brother of Ino. He has more than one mouth (two on his hand, one on his face, one on his chest, and one elsewhere). He had a tendency to blow shit up to compensate for the fact that he had a ridiculously low amount of self-esteem. He met his end when he ever so childishly blew himself up when Fagsuke didn't appreciate his artwork.

Hidan: Probably the only white character in the show whom acts blacker than The Raikage, his brother, and most of the Hidden Cloud Village's population. He is the Akatsuki's resident foul-mouthed, overly-religious, gangster/vampire/religious zealot. It is heavily implied that he took anarchy and laughing classes from the Joker himself and it is evidently shown whenever he enters his psycho-clown mode. His only real accomplishment on the show was killing Konoha's resident gangster jonin, Asuma. Although he is said to be immortal, he was blown to bits and then buried alive by Shikamaru. To this day, Hidan resides in that said pit where he makes his living eating worms, humming old rap tunes, and shouting praise to his god, Jashin. Unfortunately, Jashin is deaf.

Kakuzu: Akatsuki's money obsessed, arrogant, and self-absorbed member with no real love for anything, but money; as evident of his Jewish heritage. He is Hidan's far more intelligent partner and seems to be the only logical person of the two. Because he is very paranoid of people stealing his vast amounts of money, he had them stiched into his back under the protection of four animal masks. He is a master sticher and his greatest work is himself.

Sasori: Akatsuki's angsty member and Pinnochio's older brother. He was Deidara's first partner and a self proclaimed artist with a knack for puppets and necrophilia. He has the unfortunate stigma of being the only villain in the show to be downed by Sakura (ouch!). Sasori, epic FAIL!!!

Zetsu: Akatsuki's international member of mystery and the "plant guy" of the organization. Once worked in the Mushroom Kingdom under Boswer, he quit after his many defeats at the hands of Mario and went on to work for Akatsuki. He is a well known cannibal and was said to have been trained by Hannibal Lecter himself. He suffers from Two-Face complex having a good side (white) and a bad side (black).

Konan: The only woman hired by Akatsuki in an attempt to show the outside world that they are indeed NOT a homosexual villian group. Her abilities are fashioned around origami; making her the Sakura of Akatsuki.

Pain/Nagato: Self-proclaimed god, and the leader of Akatsuki, an evil organization who wants to capture all of the giant animals in the world. Possesses another overly powerful occular power that allows him to use the force and to practially tear apart whatever comes his way. Don't let his six scary looking bodies and his overly zealous attitude fool you; in truth he's actually a skinny, push-over, ginger boy who just wants peace; at the cost of all those around him. Awww...

Tobi: The founder of Akatsuki and the resident "good boy" of the group. When not showing his dark, and aroggant true personality as Madara Uchiha, he acts as a goofy, sexually confused, and functionally retarded pumpkin masked idiot called Tobi. Is very fond of Deidara and it's because of him that Youtube is now plauged with thousands of Yaoi videos staring him and Deidara.

The Jackson Five: Sold to Orochimaru by their money-grubbing parents, they were renamed the "Sound Five" because in the Shinobi World, "Jackson" is an offensive word. Orochimaru soon got tired of their performances, and sent them off to get killed by Leaf Genin for kicks. Michael was the only survivor, and was so traumatized by the slaughter of his family that he turned white and became an insomniac, needing to have a small boy with him to protect him while he slept.

That Person: Yet another claimant to the That Person throne. A mysterious Person about which nothing is known, except that he/she/it caused "That Incident" by using "That Technique". Many people, including most of Akatsuki, have claimed to be That Person, but none of them have ever been able to prove it.

Kiba Inuzaka & Akamaru: His fighting style is closely related to the "Dog Chasing It's Tail" martial art. This style of martial art requires the use of a dog, in this case Akamaru, to distract the enemy by being so cute, where upon Kiba would consequently piss on them, thus humiliating the enemy to the point of killing themselves to regain their honor. He is defeated when Naruto uses "Ninja Rip-Ass no Jutsu" on his face.

Hinata Hyuuga: Hinata is to awesome to make fun of. She wants to have birthday parties with Naruto. Move along now... I said MOVE ALONG! *Pulls out kunai*

Shino Aburame: Also known as the Bug Guy or Bug Man. He wears his large coat to illegally sell DVDs to people, although most the DVDs are about bugs ironically. Shino keeps bugs in his body, to make him all wiggly and jiggly.

Asuma Sarutobi: Third strongest right behind Naruto and Iruka, he is the man that died heroically with honor, unlike that guy we saw get swallowed by the duckbutt. He is the most normal looking jounin (as opposed to Kakashi and Guy whom are both freaks) and his cool cigarettes. He also has these super, special, awesome brass knuckles with a blade at the end which he can add a wind element too. His girlfriend, Kurenai, is a sweet piece of ass. Sadly, he was killed by a rival gang member, Hidan.

Kurenai Yuhi: Kurenai is one of the hottest ninjas in Naruto. She's talented in genjutsu (a ninjutsu that involved illusions). She was dating her pimp Asuma Sarutobi and soon after got pregnant with his child. Sadly, she fell into a deep depression following his death at Akatsuki's resident gangster, Hidan.

Shikamaru Nara: The genius with an IQ of over 200. He is badass. The "smart" Chuck Norris

Ino Yamanaka: A blonde who is superior to Sakura in every way possible. She made friends with Sakura in the past, but Sakura then broke up the friendship to try and pursue Sasuke. Ino soon realises that she herself is a clone of Sakura, even cutting her hair to match her. Posers. Sasuke, just send them to hell!

Choji Akimichi: A fat guy. He has a bottomless stomach and eats endless amounts of crisps. Choji dislikes being called fat and literally crushes anyone who insults him. When fighting one of the Gay Four, Choji transforms into a butterfly and kills the enemy with pollen and everybody loves him cause he's "cool" like that. Also, he recently became the pimp of Ino, and is now residing in the nearest house getting a job done.

Rock Lee: Rock Lee is a clone of his teacher, Might Gai. Also known as Brushy Brow, Rock Lee is an awesome fighter. He destroyed his body during an incredible and well choreographed fight with Gaara, and spent half of the series doing nothing.

Neji Hyuuga: Neji is the cool cousin of Hinata. He has cool moves such as 'Gentle Fist' which is a move with involves no fists whatsoever but rather two fingers. Neji at first seemed to hate Hinata because she wasn't cool, but he later learnt to respect her and considered her to be cool too.

In reality, he is the snooty and slightly less gay version of Sasuke who remained loyal to the village (Craphole) and refuses to announce his feelings with the imaginary girl of his team that still remains to be more popular than he, or Sasuke could ever imagine until Naruto whupped his arse for hurting his main squeeze, Hinata. Now he remains awesome and will find out how to claim Tenten as his.

Tenten: Yet another mystery character that appears to be a figment of ones imagination. She wields a sword made of mud and armor out of heello kitty corpses and secretly plans to use the blood of Hinata Hyuuga to become real and then speak to Naruto afterward.

Anko Mitarashi: The single hottest woman in the series next to Hinata in a bikini and Tsunade in a... well nothing, she is rarely seen as she makes frequent visits to Naruto's apartment for... stuff.

Gaara: Gaara is a ninja from the Sand Village. He is nicknamed Gaara of the Desert. He uses sand to attack. He usually spends his time walking round beaches stomping on children’s sand castles, to show people he’s hardcore. He is possibly one of the only characters in Naruto to not yell the names of his attacks before executing them, possibly not wanting to draw attention to his conspicuous hand gesture. Also, he really likes to kill people, making him even worse than that guy who likes to melt stuff.

Kankorou: After living for over ten years with his psychopathic kill-crazy brother, Gaara, Kankorou’s psyche has been driven to breaking point, causing him to develop strong romantic feelings for wooden puppets, which he keeps on his person at all times. His habit of constantly talking to them has eventually driven him to marry and divorce each one of them in turn. He says he hates children, though ironically his most powerful attack is a somewhat less child-friendly version of pop-up-pirate.

Temari: One of the hottest women in the series by Anko, and Hinata, she is Naruto's main third squeeze and loves to play with her fan she used in the chuunin exams when she can't play with his humongous one. Temari although she is famed for being able to censor out any shots under her skirt with Anti-Perv no Jutsu. She seems to be even more of a violent gal than Sakura, though this may be attributed to having an enraged killing machine for a brother. She fights using a giant iron fan and is the currently ranking #1 Arm Wrestler.

Baki: The only sane Sand Shinobi in Sunagakure, Baki fights by using the power of wind.

Killer Bee: Naruto's adopted brother, he is currently teaching him in the ways of rap, hip-hop, and everything else that does not utilize correct grammar. Originally a giant squid or something, he got covered in chocolate and srunk down before being captured by a wanna-be japanese person who tried to make sushi, lost four of hhis appendages, and became apart of the Village Hidden in the Clouds.

Kabuto: Orochimaru's queer sidekick. He has his own Naruto trading card game and he wishes to become either James Bond or Orochimaru, he then becomes the latter. He has grey hair despite his young age.

Dosu: His most powerful technique is the legendary head-tilt. He was sent by Orochimaru to kick Sasuke's ass for being too emo to join the Sound Village, unfortunately, he was owned by Gaara for no particular reason. Similarly to Shino, Temari and Tenten (?), little is know about him or his background.

Zabuza: One of the very few true ninjas in the series, Zabuza was the first major villian of the series and had a compelling background. Although it was once believed that his sword could not be broken, this has since been proven false. He still remains awesome, and in actuallity he's banging that hot chick you saw on the way to the store right now.

Haku: A girl that served as Zabuza's servant after being picked up from the streets. She too was one of the few real nijas in the series, but she was fortunate enough to have died with her dignity intact. When nobody is around, she fondles Naruto's fan like Temari does. She is also the most wanted woman in terms of beauty, and if Tenten is not able to catch Hinata, she will come after her next.

Iruka: The second strongest character ever, Iruka is Naruto's bodyguard, and the one assigned to get all of his ramen loving fetishes. He gest all of the MILFS including, but not limited to Kurenai and Tsunade, and Tsunami. Also, he is Zabuza's long lost brother.

The Third Hokage: An old man who used to be in charge of Konoha, and the teacher of Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade. He grows senile with every episode that passes until he doesn't even know his own gender. He fights Orochimaru but dies in the Monkey King's arms, but not before having paralyzed Orochimaru's arms. He was totallly icapable of ruining Naruto's life and giving that "arrogant Uzumaki what he deserved" while everyone looked down on poor Sasuke. He was also one of the very few to side with Orochimaru on who should get the brand new and never before seen ultra super Superman like power-ups for Sasuke. Essentially, he is a lying Sasuke-fanman.

Danzo: A grumpy, old, and corrupt geezer whom always dreamed of becoming hokage. Having since become Hokage in the most ridiculous debate ever held, Danzo has made what is considered to be the most logical choice ever made: To have Sasuke killed. However, the series fans don't feel that this is a good idea...but he died of a heart attack anyway, so who gives a fuck: TSUNADE'S BACK WHOO HOO!!!!^_^

Suigetsu: One of the members that makes up Sasuke's group, Team Emo. A former toy for Orochimaru to play with, Suigetsu is the character who has abnormal white hair and serrated teeth, courtesy of Jaws. He can turn himself into orange juice and steals Zabuza's big ass sword to fight with.

Jughead: A tall, animal-loving guy who can turn into a scary freak.

Karin: A spectacled girl with weird red hair. She is obsessed with Sasuke and plans to rape him at some point in the future she is expected to be what Sakura would if she never fell into a vat of annoyance and dyed her hair strawberry pink and wore nerdy glasses that still somehow made her look hot. She claims she can see Sasuke's 'chakra', but it is really the shrunken sausage he carries in his pants for good luck that she is extremely excited in tasting. *Shudder*



~ A true Fan on Naruto

Russian Reversal









I'm... not sure if this is qokay to copy but... This was just too darn funny!


Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

When Ranma Saotome killed the Phoenix God King Saffron, Chuck Norris, being a half a world away, looked up in pride, smiled and said “that’s my boy!”

Chuck Norris has a Chance in Hell.

Originally the Joker was Chuck’s arch-foe, but one roundhouse kick later, his skin turned white, his hair green and he headed for Gotham.

You really want to know how Joker got those scars? Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face.

The reason why Outworld hadn’t went for their tenth win against Earth realm is because Raiden threatened to get Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can defeat Darkside’s optic blasts with a roundhouse kick. (There os a pic of this on )

Chuck got Sparda, Dante’s father, out of hell.

Master Chief is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was sent ten thousand years to the past, met and married a goddess who in turn gave him a daughter. We know the child as: Sailor Moon.

Chuck doesn’t wash his dishes, they get clean out of fear.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile

║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝page if you love


║║║╠╗╔╣║║║╔╗╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║Put this on your
║╚╝║║║║║║║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╚╝page if you love

If you can hear the voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. (I hear different voices)

If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, NaruHinaFanboy, Arsao Tome, One Time Dancer

Because several of us suffer from the great deities now known as 'plot bunnies', we can't help but write. I am no exception. This is a sneek peek of my story, Reality Check. It takes place during the chuunin exams. Two red heads make their appearance.

You have been warned.

Intro Dialog: "Kukukuku... So what they say is true... The heirsssss of the Uzumaki Clan does live. Interesting... very interesting..."

His luck hadn't been good today. That was all he could think of to put it in words. It hadn't. Plain and simple. If he were to make it more complicated and robust, he would say it was 'troublesome' like Shikamaru always did. But to say it sucked sound much more... meaningful.

He looked around for any sign of his teammates, but there wasn't any. Just trees and forests and more trees. He could hear screams and frantic yells hundreds of feet away like a yell at the end of a hall, and every single vibration in the ground as if it were him stomping it. He had no idea what to do or where to go. They were trapped. They all were. In this hell, this stupid forest where they were supposed to just sit and die! And for what?! Because of the Sha-

No, he calmed himself, feeling his breathing increase and the air crackle around him. Now wasn't the time.

His stomach grumbled hungrily and he frowned. He could have gone for a couch full of ramen right now, it seemed. To be back at Ichiraku's with the old man and Ayame felt like a kiss of heaven right now. He wondered if they were okay. He wasn't sure if the village was under attack at the moment or not. The explosions seemed to end hours ago but he could still hear the phantom echoes of them, and see the smoke as well. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, considering what was going on, but they couldn't be in trouble anyway, right? It was the exams, if they had any inkling to what was going on they'd shut the whole thing down, right?

Tch, why should he care? Was the thought that ran through him as he uncharacteristically spit at the ground. After all, they outright argued his being in this event in the first place. They didn't believe him or the others when he warned them of a possible attack, so if they died, they died. It was as simple... as that.

He felt his resolve weaken ever so slightly and the crackle getting louder. "You reap what you sow, correct?"

Before he was granted a chance to tell the booming voice in his mind to shut the hell up for the thousandth time, there was a snap in the bushes. Not just a snap, but a whisper, a hiss. He shivered. He hated hisses from now on. Thatgrunted about being found out creepy snake bastard and his 'pets' ruined a word that he was sure he would never like anyway for the future.

His ears twitched. They did that now. Every small sound or large, echoing scream they did and it was so annoying he couldn't stand it. The snap came again and the bush twitched. There were two, maybe three people in it. They weren't frieendly either. If they were any of the rookie nine then they would have come out by now and thats what worried him. He had a ton of chakra left for some kage bunshin but that didn't seem like it would help him here. A distraction for him to run would be the only thing. Maybe sending one for help was a good idea?

He didn't like that either. Maybe was such a sucky word.

His voice was sore from the screaming he did at the snake bastard. His throat hurt and he could barely speak if he wanted to. Not because of pain, but because he was so depraved of food and drink that his sweat started tasting good right now. So instead, he decided to listen in on the 'hisses' and boy was he surprised.

There were two of them alright. Girls, both of them. But from his place it looked like three. Maybe one of them was just fat, he thought as he shifted his position on the ground. Maybe it was a henge or a kage bunshin to be used as a spy? No, he was one of the few in the whole village that could do that, and these were too young sounding to be any older than chuunin, but then again Kurenai-sensei sounded pretty young to him for the handful of times he saw her.

He furrowed his eyebrows after a second hhiss came from the bush, muffled by the leaves. One of them just said something about his chakra, that it looked evil. Well, no shit dumbass! He wanted to yell out. Look who I have in my fucking stomach! Its the thing that can crush this place with a paw!

Another hiss. Something laced with curse words even he didn't know and about escaping. That sounded pretty appealing right now. He would have tried if he were with everyone else. He couldn't leave without them now. It was too risky.

Then another. The same voice, tired and painful being found out and that they should just rob him of whatever he had on hand and get out while they still could. He grinned a little. He had nothing, but he doubted that that would stop them from taking trying to kill him. It was a classic move, the old man hokage had told him all about it. Then tthere was another hiss. 'But' they needed his help. Or that was what he heard. This hearing thing was a little iffy sometimes.

"You might as well come out now. All that hiding in that bush is going to give you is a bad rash." he grinned wider when he heard a high pitched scream of poison ivy from the one that cursed and watched as she jumped out, and his grin instantly deflated. The other one had come out too, but she wasn't what caught his attention.

"You..." He muttered, his blue eyes wide at the side of the strawberry red headed girl. A cracked helmet hung limply on her head and her clothes were barely intact. She whipped around and snarled at him in the best fierce look she could provide, but all it looked to him was a pitiful whimper as she grabbed her shoulder in pain.

She fell to the ground in a heap and tried to catch herself by using her hands to keep her up but the only thing she succeeded in was eliciting a crack from her elbow and screaming out loud. The other girl walked forward in a nervous heap of which he had only seen in Hinata and knelt down beside her. She turned to him and frowned. "Please... You have to help us!"

He didn't pay attention to the fact that she had blood red hair, or the way half of it was missing on the right side like it had been burnt a cinder. He didn't listen to his inner perversions that the knee socks that weren't of shinobi attire stretched up to her nether regions, or they way they were basically hanging on by a thread before falling off, or the way her glasses had been poorly repaired by a vine. His eyes were on the girl on the ground, and they were starting to become clouded with red.

"You... Tayuya..."

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