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Iiidog5 PM
Biography
Joined Jan '10

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination


The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever Im at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesnt get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remembe Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!


Man: Have I seen you someplace before?
Woman
: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman:
Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman:
Both. You go to yours and I go to mines.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?
Woman:
Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman:
But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman:
Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman:
If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman:
I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman:
Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i
Woman:
Really? I'd put f and u together


Two Dead Boys
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
go ask the blind man, he saw it too

"Ladies and gentlemen, as I stand here before you, sitting behind you, I am here to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Wednsday, being last Friday, there'll be a lady's convention for men only. Admission is free, you pay at the door, pull up a chair, and sit on the floor."

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.

Think before you say something is stupid. Often a time something is stupid because you don't understand.

We hide our minor details in our profile so people will actually have to read it to learn anything about us.

I didn't do anything wrong and I won't do it again.

I want to be a mystery, yet be known. I want to be together, yet alone. Is it too much to ask, , To be famous yet unknown? To be a wanderer, yet have a home?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you!
But sadly,
The roses have wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
and my dagger's stained red.


In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children

2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts

3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping

4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire

5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking

6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado

7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts

8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children

9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping

11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap

12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness

13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required

14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use

15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)

20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)

23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?

24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)

27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad"

"Just because im smiling doesnt mean im happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears"

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?"

"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

I hear your silence loud and clear

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.

Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?

Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths

The cops never find it as funny as you do

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origam

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

No, I don’t have PMS. I just really hate you.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go.

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.”

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hate that.

Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball make big hole in paper.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Therapist = the/rapist... scary thought.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Definition of Your Mom: How to answer a question when you’re bored

Definition of homework: Some form of crude mind control still used in some primitive areas.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?

I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

It doesn’t matter whether the glass is half empty or half full just drink it and get it over with.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.

So what if we act like immature idiots? We’re having fun.

Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them.

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Do I have to spell it out for you or scream it in you face?

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

Are children who act in rated ‘R’ movies allowed to see them?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken over there ... I’m gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

“Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?”

Isn’t it funny how the word ‘politics’ is made up of the words ‘poli’ meaning ‘many’ in Latin, and ‘tics’ as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

“When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade”

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I’ve got a stick.

I’ll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.

You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don’t obsess! I think intensely.

Of course I’m talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I’m so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I’m not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

All the good ones are gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

“When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.”

“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

“I’d rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I’m not.”

“What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.”

“A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying ‘Man, that was fun!’”

“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.”

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because ‘They’ve seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.’ These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person’s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you’re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I’m not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

Death is God’s way of saying “You’re fired.”
Suicide is Human’s way of saying “You can’t fire me- I quit!”

Unfortunately, you can’t die of a broken heart.

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

“He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.”

“If you know me, chances are you hate me.”

“I’m the kind of person your parents warned you about.”

“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will hurt my inner child”

“Don’t judge a book by its cover or a person by their scars”

“It’s not until you’re broken that you know what you’re made of.”

“Tired of living and scared of dying.”

“It requires MORE courage to suffer than to die.”

“You said that you would die for me, you must live for me too”.

“To die is nothing but a long goodbye.”

“This isn’t just goodbye, this is I can’t stand you.”

“I hear your silence loud and clear.”

“The past is only the future with the lights on.”

“Shut up voices or I’ll poke you with a fork.

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