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Biography
Joined Jan '10

Name:

If only I could remember...

Sex:

let's go with gender, mkay? And that would be the obvi fairer side, obvi, Imma motherfucking lady:)

WARNINGS AND APOLOGIES:

Yeah, this is being posted about two years after I came on here last. I didn't realize how bad of a writer I was. Jesus God almighty...

That's my fucking appology. Without apologizing.

Age:

...no?

Looks?:

Hot. Need more?

My attitude and my attitude towards things:

I think everyone should nibble the tip of my dick, and make me some apple juice. You're welcome:)

Status as of right now:

My friends are weird. My family is weirder. I still manage to be the weirdest though. Odd.

Some things that have seriously happened lately:

I have no social life, so nothing.

(0.0)
( _ )

Paste the bunny on your profile and join the dark side! (We have cookies!)


Put this in your profile
if you love to laugh!


15 Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!


Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your
face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap
that mother@#?!&! upside the head. Pass it on...

--/\_/\ If you love Ikuto,
--(--I-- ) copy and paste this
--=\--K--/= into your channel.
--)--U--(
--/--T--\
--)--O--(--\-- --/--))--((
--\)

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

GoNe InSaNe... Be BaCk LaTeR

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters

When life gives you mayonnaise... throw it back and say, "B!TCH I ASKED FOR LEMONS!!"

95 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 percent yelling "Jump Bitch!"

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train...

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

The trouble with life, is there's no background music.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

If Fed Ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it!

Quotes:

"Naval oranges?"-Me "Yes..?"-Mom "So...bellybutton oranges?"-Me

"GIRL BONER!!!"-Mom

"That is the scariest fucking thing I have ever seen in my entire life."-Left 4 Speed 2

"Oh, don't worry Leo, we'll have that homework done before you can say BLLLURGH...MRAAAWWGH...BRAAAAAGH-Okay?" Leo and Satan (Algebra Aversion)

"Hehe, don't worry Satan, we can just put these socks on yo-" "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH- Socks go on your feet silly." Leo and Satan (Algebra Aversion)

"Looks like your stealth skills are "out the window"" "Shut the fuck up Leo" Leo and Satan (Trash Hazard)

"Esther...GET YOUR HAND OFF OF MY CROTCH!"-Annali K in her sleep

-Morgan sits on my lap- "Oh?"-me -Morgan turns and tries to elbow me- "Did you just wenus me in the boob?"-Me

"Oh, so he liked that last card?"-Me "Yeah, he uses it as a birth mark."-Mom "...what?" Me "I mean, uh uh uh...BOOK MARK!"-Mom

"AND THRUST!"-Sam R. "Excuse me?"-Principal "..." DING "Heh, look, bell, bye!"-Sam R.

-Ally taps me on shoulder- "Hey, Lyss, uhm...I have somehting to tell you." Ally "Hm?" Me "The principal just checked you out." Ally "...fuckin' perv.."

"So, what grade are y-"- Morgan "DICK FUCK!"-Katie

"I'm sitting in a room, made up of only big white walls, and in the halls there are people looking through, the window in the door, they know exactly what we're here for..." Fences, Paramore

"i hate ur friends"-Hope's BF, Justin "Oh, well, tell him I'm sorry! I LOVE YOU!"-Sam R "Screw that, he's a douche."-Me

"May the power of Christ compel you." "Ahh, fuck you." Leo and Satan (Trash Hazard)

"I ate a grape and I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!" -Jizzed in My pants, Lonely Island

"May be it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year, and I've been going crazy I'm stuck in here.." ATL, Weightless

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