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Immortalis Cruor Elf PM
Joined Jan '10



I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

The difference between Genius and Stupidity is that Genius is limited

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Due to recent cutbacks and until further notice, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

I lay at my bed last night, counting the stars, and I thought to myself: Where the fuck did my ceiling go?!

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules

…didn’t need an excuse to go over to the Dark Side…

True Love has no happy ending, because True Love has no ending.

Its's a Stupid idea, I'll go first.

What color is the Sky in your world.

The Angel on my shoulder was gang raped by the devil from the other shoulder and the voices in my head.

"There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, and I have white out".

"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"

They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

"It takes an idiot to do cool things...that's why they're cool. - FLCL

"If the opposite of Pro is Con then the opposite of Progress is Congress".

In War - Death
In Peace - Vigilance
In Death - Sacrifice
- The Grey Wardens (Dragon Age Origins)

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.


'You have to be wierd because if you weren't wierd, then you can't be normal, because to be wierd is to be normal, and only normal people are wierd, so - I think I lost my train of thought.(Nyleve)

Sometimes people act like clowns on the outside because they're crying on the inside.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Everyone is titled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Always remember, you're unique, just like everyone else.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing there on the shore like an idiot.

"No, please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids, eat them." --Homer Simpson

"I hope I didn't brain my damage..." --Homer Simpson

"What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway." --Homer Simspon

Programming today is a race between the software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

...Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! And what could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and stare at it for hours.

"The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely covered. Then, he'll stand up and go; "Hey, I'm Vine Man."

"When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, by far the best way to get out of it is just to say; "No speaka English."

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman is giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped."

"My luck is so bad, if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying."

"Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in the garage makes you a car."

When life gives you lemons make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think." -Angela the Herbalist

"Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another." -Lemony Snicket

"The moral of Snow White is never eat apples." -Lemony Snicket

"The sad truth is the truth is sad." -Lemony Snicket

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together. - Unknown

"First the barrier from hell. Then the mountain with no trail. And now, the icing on the cake-- the longest goddamn staircase in the history of mankind." (Sanzo from Saiyuki)

"I'm astounded by the stupidity." (Sanzo from Saiyuki)

"Your voice offends my ears." (Sanzo from Saiyuki)

"The statistic beauty of the sun is that it works, not that's it bright." (Amita from Numb3rs)

"We're watching ice melt." (Larry from Numb3rs)

"Slacker to the rescue." (Martin Fitzgerald from Without a Trace)

"No rest for the weary." (Colby Granger from Numb3rs)

"Either you suck at math, or you're going to die in two seconds." (House from House MD)

"Only the dead have seen the end of war." (Plato)

"You write like you speak; I could barely understand a word." (Rube to Mason from Dead Like Me)

"Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing." (Tony Stark from Iron Man)

"You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness." (Dean Winchester from Supernatural)

"Dude, seriously; still with the ham?" (Sam Winchester from Supernatural)

"You mean, you put down your rock and I put down my sword, and we try kill each other like civilized people?" (Wesley from Princess Bride)

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Mark Twain

Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live. Henry Van Dyke

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. Seneca

Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life. Albert Einstein

Death never takes the wise man by surprise; He is always ready to go. Jean de La Fontaine

From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity. Edvard Munch

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." Bill Maher, on Politically Incorrect, 1995

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. J.K. Rowling

God made death so we'd know when to stop. Steven Stiles

You can be a king or a street sweeper,
but everybody dances with the Grim Reaper.
Robert Alton Harris

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

"Humanity is overrated."

"Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn't cost them everything they want in life."

"We treat it. If she[he] gets better we know that we're right."

"...treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable."

"Weird works for me."

"The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth."

"On average, drug addicts are stupid... I believe drug addicts get sick. Actually, for some reason they tend to get sick more often than non-drug addicts."

"If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin."

"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is -- in fact -- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."

"A psychic once told me that I'm psychic."

"The treatments don't always work. Symptoms never lie."

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.-A. Whitney Brown

Even if the voices aren't real, they have good ideas (right, Chi?)

My imaginary friend thinks you're sacry...

Men- beginning of all problems

"Knowledge is power, power is the root of all evil. Therefore, study to be evil."

lemony snicket quotes

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like."

"People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict."

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."

"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats."

"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting."

"All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk."

"Taking one’s chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck."

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."

"No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read."

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

"I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong."

"Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women."

lemony snicket quotes

"This is our last dance, this is ourselves."
- Under Pressure, Queen and David Bowie

"It never rains, but it pours."
- Proverb

"For instance, if Christmas trees were people and people were Christmas trees, we'd all be chopped down, put up in the living room, and covered with tinsel, while the trees opened our presents."
- Alec, The Phantom Toll Booth

"Speaking words of wisdom, let it be."
- Let It Be, The Beatles

"I can tell you the difference between a geek and a nerd. A geek, goes to the midnight showing of Harry Potter. A nerd goes to the midnight showing of Harry Potter, dressed as Harry Potter, carrying various Harry Potter objects, and probably camped out for his spot in line."
-Last Comic Standing

For the tradgedy of life is not that it ends too soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.
-W. M. Lewis

'We will discuss your intentions later. If you're still alive, that is' -Sesshomaru (Inuyasha)

'I don't suffer from insanity...I enjoy every minute of it'

'I once shot a man just to watch him die...but I got distracted and missed it'

'Who ever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door'

'Silence is golden, duck tape is silver'

'We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public'

'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider, and everyday I am proven horribly wrong'

'Always remember; when a guy sweeps you off you're feet, he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass'

'Love doesn't always heal wounds. Strength doesn't alwas assure victory. Denial doesn't always prevent the inevitable. But revenge is always sweet to the bitter'

'I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing'

'I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide til it goes away'

'Some people are like slinkys, they're not much to look at, but you can't help but smile when they fall downt he stairs'

'You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same'

'Never knock on Death's door, ring the doorbell and run away... he hates that'

'There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't'

One day we're going to look back on this, laugh nervously and then change the subject

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Two things are infinite: The universe, and human stupidity. I'm not so sure about the universe...

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

'Strength is no more than how well you hide your pain'

So… what was a slightly insane man to do?-Tiro

"If you start wearing purple, I'll disown you."

"I find your social awkwardness rather tragic."

"Is it possible that you have become even shorter?"

"One day, we'll run out of tomorrows."

damn the child! He found the flaw, the unthinkable flaw no one thinks of.

'I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Adam Savage (Mythbusters)

Life's a bitch, and if it's easy, you're doing it wrong.

Every great decision creates ripples, the heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences
-Sylvester McCoy as The Seventh Doctor

Bow ties are cool.-11th doctor

Who da man?! Okay, that's ... I'm never saying that again. Fine.-11th doctor

There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap ... ME.
-11th doctor

I am definitely a madman with a box!-11th doctor

Funny how you can say something in your head and it sounds fine.-11th doctor

Tell me the whole plan! ... One day, that'll work.-11th doctor

That's a relief! I thought I had burst out of the wrong cake. Again.-11th doctor

No, I have a thing. It's like a plan, but with more greatness.-11th doctor

A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away.-11th doctor

It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.-11th doctor

Don't dis the sonic!-11th doctor

1969. That's an easy one. Funny how some years are easy. Now 1482, full of glitches. Now then! Canton Everett Delaware the Third. That was his name, yeah? How many of those can there be? Well... three, I suppose.
-11th doctor

I am being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?
-11th doctor

A special bond for you and me. A special bond one cannot see. It wraps us in it's cocoon and holds us fiercely in it's womb. It's fingers spread like finely spun gold. Gently nestling us to the fold. Like silken thread, it holds fast. It's called love...
by freeprincess

The world began without man, and it will end without him.-Claude Lévi-Strauss

The world dies over and over again, but the skeleton always gets up and walks.-Henry Miller

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane. – William Dement

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky." – Alan Moore

Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide. – Napoleon Bonaparte

"Unicorns exist." "Yep. Shiny pompous bastards. Ooh, look at me, I only go near virgins. Like virgins are any fun anyway." - Confessions of a Male Escort, an HP/Supernatural xover

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"I was reading about how hundreds of species are being driven to extinction by man's destruction of forests. Sometimes I think the surest sign of intelligent life on other planets is that they don't try to contact us."

My blood will run gold every time
That I am truly brave
Or I'll be a Marauder
When I simply can't behave

When I text someone and someone is looking at my phone, I always like to type "...and some retard keeps reading our plans, shall I take them out?"

Courage isn't when you aren't afraid. Courage is when you are afraid, but you keep going anyway.

Destiny isn't about what we are supposed to do, but who we are supposed to be.

Friends don't need to say the words "I Love You" because they already know. But a reminder now and then is nice too.

The heart is like the ocean. No matter how much wonder and life it holds, it never seems to fill up.

A stranger stabs you in the front
A friend stabs you in the back
A boyfriend stabs your heart
Best Friends only poke each other with straws

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick I called in dead.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Growing older is manditory. Growing up is optional

"You say I've lost my sanity. Well I have news for you. You can't lose what you never had."

Of hope and truths. Of dreams and lies. Of wonder and magic, and of family and surprise. Of friendship and love. Of right and of wrong, of redemption, and of regret. Of forgiveness, and forgetfulness. Of blackmail. Of death. Of liberty and of freedom. Of choice and happiness. Of life and all the wonders that we don't see everyday. Of trust.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
-T. S. Eliot

The fairies' ring is up in the night sky
Around the moon;
And little moonbeams silently dance by
In silver shoon.
The star lamps glow,
The wind sings low
A lullaby,
A fairy tune.
But all the woodland people sigh
For their lost happy ring, and long to fly
To the white moon.
- unknown

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you!
But sadly,
The roses have wilted,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
and my dagger's stained red.

Remember all the memories;
The good ones, and the bad?
The ones that made us laugh—
—and those that made us sad?
Never can they ever take
These memories away
Because without the memory of you
What reason would I have to stay?


Ryoma had never wanted to go back to hole-digging in his entire life. In fact, he had never wanted to dig a hole in his entire life, so the burning to desire to do so at this very moment was rather astonishing. But then he remembered-in his hands he had a shovel. A large, heavy plate of metal was attached to a thick wooden pole. This wasn't a tool to dig up dirt-it was a possible weapon!
The sudden epiphany made him a little light-headed. He had a weapon, and he was in perfect range to smite those who had dared went against him and otherwise annoy or undermine him. Hell, he could start with Mizuki, follow it up with Akazawa, and then just go hack-and-slash on whoever was left. There would be no stopping him. It would be a rampage worthy of those C-rated horror movies!
...God, he needed to stop playing those lame mass-murder games with Kubota's little boyfriend.
Akazawa swiped the shovel from his hands before he could reflect on his hesitancy.-In A Handbasket

"Alfred, I'll be in the Bat-cave!" Kid shouted out over his shoulder as he opened a door to a large grandfather clock and walked inside.
Shinichi blinked. "Is that actually...?"
Jii sighed, more annoyed this time. "No, that's just a regular clock."
"Hey guys? I think I'm stuck..."-The Plot Bunnies Are Eating My Brain!

Ryoma had been dating Hiruma for a while now, longer than anyone (even himself) even expected. But they were dating, they were happy, and they were never bored.
Boredom just didn't come in the package when Hiruma was your boyfriend.
"Get on the fuckin' boat."
And it wasn't like Ryoma was afraid of the water or anything, he liked swimming and the beach well enough, but all he could do was stand on the dock and stare at the sailing yacht with well-reasoned suspicion.
Hiruma rolled his eyes as he noted Ryoma's piercing look. "I didn't kill anyone if that's what you're thinking."
'... not yet, anyway,' Ryoma bit back and took hesitant step aboard the boat, sensing an emotion akin to dread filling the bottom of his stomach...
... maybe it was that curry he ate for lunch...?-MACHINATION: Another Day by tofu-melon

Ryoma seemed to think about it for a bit. His eyes wandered around the room, taking in the cameras and listening devices hidden in the shadows. All this really irritated him, and whatever annoyed him, he annoyed back, so with a raised eyebrow Ryoma asked, "Did Fuji-senpai kill someone?"
The man seemed throughly frustrated with the boy by now. "No, it's not—"
"Then Inui-senpai fell victim to his own poison juices—"
"Echizen-kun, it's—"
"Momo-senpai and Kaidoh-senpai eventually finished each other off in a western-movie-esque face-off duel—"
"It's Hiruma! It's Hiruma Yoichi!"
Ryoma leaned back and allowed the smirk to spread across his lips. "Of course it is," he drawled. The man looked about ready to pull out the rest of his hair. Ryoma mentally praised himself on a job well done-MACHINATION: Another Day by tofu-melon

"You screwed up this time Kuroba." He said, pointing again, and Conan maybe began to rethink that whole part to his cases, because it really is a terribly rude habit. "We have witnesses who put Edogawa-kun at the scene, and unless you'd like to admit to gross negligence in allowing Kid to get a hold of the boy when he was in your hands..."
"How good was the lighting?" Conan interrupted, piping in that little kid's voice he only ever used when he was planning on screwing someone over.
"What." Hakuba said, startled, like no one had ever dared to interrupt him mid snit before.
"How. Good. Was. The. Lighting." Conan reiterated slowly, as if he was the seventeen year old talking to the grade schooler here, rather than the other way around. He knew, of course, abysmal, but admitting to that would have defeated the entire purpose of asking in the first place.
Hakuba thought on it. "Well… not so good I suppose. Kid had cut the power and- "
"Did this person identify themselves in any way, request your help?"
"Pose for a picture?"
"NO!" Hakuba shouted, feeling more than slightly ridiculous under Conan's steady gaze and guileless smile. Kaito's heart went out to him, it really did; Conan had the ability to make the most self confident, intelligent person in the world feel like a blathering idiot with only a few, well chosen words and a Poker Face to rival even Kaito's under the best of circumstances.
"So what you're saying is, you saw a boy roughly my size at the heist and merely presumed it to be me to fit the facts in your highly biased little theory."
"We have your glasses!" Hakuba snapped, producing them with a little flourish that had Kaito clapping and oohing his showmanship.
Conan scrutinized them briefly before turning away. "They're not mine."
"WHAT." Hakuba said.
Conan stared him down, unflinching. "There're not mine. Look at the glass, it's flat, there's absolutely no magnifying power on those things. They're fake."
Hakuba spluttered. Held the glasses up to the light to confirm Conan's observation. Spluttered a bit more upon doing so. -Sleepover by Shotaphile

Conan twitched.
For the first time, he finally understood what could drive a person to murder.
'Hate you, Kid. SO. Much. -The Plot Bunnies Are Eating My Brain!

Conan scrunched his face up in a childish display of strong concentration. "I guess…" he said slowly, "That the most interesting side effect I know about is me."
Hakuba looked confused, but Heiji was laughing and even Kid seemed to be hiding a smile in his un-monocled eye.
"What exactly do you mean Edogawa-kun." Asked Hakuba and Conan saw his opportunity to attempt to break the Half-Brit's brain.
"Well mommy and daddy said once when they didn't think I was around that I was the strangest side effect of birth control medication that they had ever known." He replied looking completely innocent in the way that only small children could manage.
Hakuba spluttered and turned beet red at the thought of what that could indicate, while the other two shared a moment of shocked silence before laughing.
Hakuba never understood why Heiji starting laughing so hard and even Kaitou Kid's poker face cracked with that showing a large smile and guffawing. But something told him that he was missing an inside joke, but what joke a child could share with a Thief and a detective…. He was almost sure he didn't want to be informed.-Side Effects May Include by ShinjuKuroba

"I know it's getting pretty desperate." Rodney joined in with yet another cup of coffee in his hand. "We're almost out of coffee."
"Well, maybe you should stop drinking eleven cups a day?" Sheppard suggested with mock sweetness.
"I'm just making sure I get my fair share before it's all gone." Rodney defended.
"That sounds fair." Ford muttered with a roll of his eyes.
"I knew a man that said that exact thing two or more years ago about a similar food shortage."
Harry spoke up for the first time in this meeting and Rodney gave him a strange look.
"Who was that?" Sheppard asked curiously.
"A drug lord I was spying on in Peru." Harry shrugged.
"What happened to him?" Ford asked just as curious.
"His men realised just how out of food they were becoming and just how much he ate." Harry shrugged.
"I might have subtly pointed it out to them but the end was the same either way."
"What?" Ford asked.
"His men shot him." Harry said with characteristic bluntness just as Rodney went to take another gulp of his coffee and only ended up choking on it.
"I'm sure we're more civilised though, Doctor McKay."
Sheppard and Ford had to cover their laughter with coughs while Bates had an amused glint to his eyes.
Elizabeth was staring at Harry probably trying to discover if the story was true or not, which is was,
while Rodney was trying to pretend that the coffee cup no longer interested him. -Cast between Worlds

"Mr. Potter, wait a moment," Professor Flitwick called out.
"If this is about the incident in Potions involving the rubber chicken, it was justified I assure you!" Harry spoke.
"…I don't know the incident you're talking about…" Flitwick admitted, blinking in slight surprise, "all I wanted to tell you is that the Headmaster has requested that you come to his office during lunch, I'll give you the directions and the password now."
-Two's a Crowd: The Blood Stone by The Writing Therapist

Morning dawned to Alfred waking up Dick and alerting him to the fact Harry was using him as a pillow and was attempting to eat his hair. After the initial embarrassment upon his awakening, Harry apologized about the hair eating, stating that he was dreaming of eating cotton candy and was acting accordingly and did not react at all to the fact that he had used Dick for a human cushion. Though he deliberately lagged to delay his leaving, Harry gathered his things and Dick accompanied him along with Alfred to drop him off.-Two's a Crowd: The Blood Stone by The Writing Therapist

"Where'd you get that scar?" Mr. Smith inquired, noting its odd shape.
Harry looked up and tilted his head slightly, "What scar?"
"The one on your forehead, it's an interesting shape," Mr. Smith clarified.
Harry ran the heel of his palm over the mentioned scar before making eye contact, "You want to know how I got this scar?"
"Yes, if you don't mind telling me," Mr. Smith replied, pencil hovering over the pad of paper in anticipation of the answer.
Harry cracked his knuckles before telling the story as honestly as he could, "Dad was working with explosives, like always, one day and some wires must have gotten crossed by accident…the thing went off, I had the bad luck of being in the general area and got hit by some shrapnel."
"Really?" Mr. Smith responded, believing what had been said was truthful from the way Harry had told it.
"…no, not really," Harry laughed at the look on the man's face, "You wanna hear another version?"
-Two's a Crowd: The Beginning by The Writing Therapist

"Ne, Kuroba. Why are you so afraid of fish anyway?"
"You ever met a kappa face to face?"
"There you go."
-Fic Surfin

"What did you give him?" Sirius demanded as he glared at those gathered in the room.
"Nothing," Dr Fraiser volunteered as she stepped forward. "A sedative. The only thing he was given was a sedative so he could be transported."
"A sedative?" Remus replied as both Sirius and him took a step away from Harry. "You gave him a sedative?"
"Oh shit," Sirius said quietly his hand covering his mouth, his eyes became distant.
"Yes. Why is there a problem?" Fraiser asked as she looked back and forth between the two men as they moved away from Harry and Jack.
Sirius' hand dropped to his side, his eyes grew wide and panic started to settle into them. "Is there a problem?" he said his voice breaking slightly.
"Red. It was everywhere," Moony mumbled to himself his eyes widening as if remember some past horror. "The walls, the ceiling… all red. Everywhere you look was bathed in it. It hung in the air. You could taste it on every breath."
Closed his eyes, Sirius took a deep breath to calm himself. "If you don't mind chaos, mayhem and destruction then…. no it's not a problem."
"And then everything went purple," Moony mumbled as his eyes twinkled with mischief. "He ran out of red paint."
Sighs of relief escape the room as the two men smirked at each other.
-The General Said I Would Have Days Like This by Lady FoxFire

There was a moments pause as though he were waiting for them to connect the dots. A second later Snape snarled. "Potter."
Minerva looked surprised, the annoyed. "Really Severus, not everything revolves around Harry. It could be any student."
"Who else would be in the library in the middle of the night, no doubt trying to steal a book from the forbidden section. Who else would manage to loose control of their magic and cause such compete and utter chaos? Who else is so exceptionally good at entering un-enterable areas of the castle and getting into trouble of some sort or other? Who else would stumble across a magical object and not consider the dangers before using it?" Snape ranted, pacing the office.
Minerva thought to argue back, then reconsidered. "You might be right, Severus. It's not that the boy is deliberately troublesome, he just seems to..."
"Have no common sense at all? Have a complete and blatant disregard for rules? Have no concept or care for the dangers to himself and others around him or the consequences of his actions?" The man continued to fume.
-Harry Potter and the Crowned Guardians

The sorting hat paused as if to take a breath, "SLY…"
But before it could finish, Harry's hand seemed to appear out of nowhere, grabbing the mouth of the sorting hat and clamping it shut.
What the two did not notice was the stunned reaction of the rest of the Hall. One, no student had ever grabbed the sorting hat's mouth to prevent it from announcing the house they were about to be sorted into.
Two, Harry Potter, hero of the light and vanquisher of the last Dark Lord had been about to be sorted into Slytherin. The hat had not needed to finish what it was about to say for everyone to figure that out.
Prof. McGonagall released the breath she was holding but that did not do anything to help slow her racing heart. She felt like she was going to have a heart attack when she realized where the hat was going to place Harry.
She looked around and noticed the shock and disbelief on many of the students faces, even the Slytherin students were not spared the shock.
Prof. Dumbledore and Prof. Snape looked like they were about to jump out of their seats, in fact their backsides had left their chairs but while Albus looked worried, Snape looked almost outraged and about to hex the hat.
Hagrid looked like he was going to cry and the diminutive Prof. Flitwick fell off his seat. She and everyone else turned their attention back to Harry and the sorting hat; this had to be the most anticipated sorting in the history of Hogwarts.
-Harry Blade Potter & The New Beginning

They had gotten almost to the dorm when Hermione suddenly inched closer to Erus and said:
"Um… I've read a bit about Hogwarts and the wards around it."
"Yeah, and?" the boy said, confused.
"You can't Apparate, use a Portkey or any kind of stuff like that."
"I know that. And?"
"How in Merlin's name did your father get in?"
Erus blinked at her. Draco took a long breath and said:
"Well, the answer is obvious."
"And what is the answer?" the girl asked and turned her head to him.
"He's a bloody Dark Lord," Draco said. "Dark Lords has that in their merits. It's only natural for them. You know, to be a Dark Lord you have to go dressed in black, have mean eyes and scare people shitless by popping up like a devil from hell in impossible places."
Erus and Hermione stopped and stared at him. The blonde waited. And a moment later, the raven-haired boy's eyes glazed over a bit as he imagined his father doing that. And promptly burst into a full-blown laughter. Hermione followed only seconds after.
'Mission accomplished,' Draco thought.
-A Different Life

"Okay, not what I was expecting," said Daniel as they backed up as far away from the dragons as possible.
"We're all gonna die, aren't we?" said Vala.
"Nobody make any sudden movements," said Cam as he raised his automatic rifle. "Maybe their vision is based on movement."
Suddenly one of the creatures spoke. "Excuse me, but if you don't mind me asking, who and what are you?" asked Volteer.
Daniel, Vala, Teal'c, Sam, and Cam stared with their jaws dropped at the beasts.
"Did that dragon just speak?" said Cam.
"Indeed I did," said Volteer.
"That dragon just spoke," said Sam.
"Indeed," said Teal'c.
-Dragon Gate

"And this is Harry Potter."
"Ah, yes," Umbridge said, turning back to the Boy Who Lived, who stopped clutching his throat and making choking sounds just in time. "The Minister spoke to me about you."
"You have no idea," Harry said, batting his eyelashes, "how special that makes me feel." Umbridge's insincere smile grew even more fake.
Draco choked back a laugh, and Dumbledore practically had fireworks going off in his eyes. Harry risked a glance at the rest of the faculty and saw that Snape was smirking and that McGonagall was giving him her patented 'you've just earned yourself another biscuit' look.
-Invictus by Opalish

"Bloody Ministry," Harry muttered, leaning against the wall of the office and glowering at the portkey - a twisted up coat hanger. He had been in a constant bad mood ever since Umbridge first showed up, and even now, with his escape imminent, he remained angry and sullen. "I don't see why they leave Fudge in power - for Chrissakes, the man refused to believe Voldemort was back and outright called Dumbledore a liar!"
"Actually," Draco interrupted smoothly while Kingsley uttered one last spell, "Fudge just said Dumbledore was senile, not a liar."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Oh, well, in that case..."
"Spare us your biting wit and sharp sarcasm," Draco deadpanned. Harry flipped him off.
An amused cough - and how, exactly, could a cough convey amusement, Harry wondered - sounded from the door. Harry and Draco both looked over to see Dumbledore himself standing there, his moustache twitching as he suppressed a smile.
"No need to be vulgar, Harry," the Headmaster scolded lightly.
-Invictus by Opalish

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled, and Harry suspected that the Headmaster knew exactly what was going through his mind.
"You know," Harry said blandly, "all that twinkling can't be good for your health."
He had the dubious pleasure of seeing Dumbledore startled speechless, if only for a second.
"That sort of thing makes you go blind," he added, unable to stop himself. An odd strangled noise emerged from Draco's lips. Kingsley actually grinned, his teeth shockingly white against his brown skin.
"I don't understand," said one of the portraits - Armando Dippet was the inscription on the frame - in bewilderment.
"I'll explain when you're older," another portrait, Phineas Nigellus, drawled.
"I think," Kingsley said, his tone rich with laughter, "we should be leaving."
-Invictus by Opalish

"Not a very clever excuse there Harry," Sirius teased.
"Give me a break, I was like nine years old," Harry said.
"I'd perfected the art of lying by then," Sirius said proudly.
"Right Sirius, which is why you got a detention for telling McGonagall that you were out of bed because the unicorns had kidnapped you" said Harry rolling his eyes at his godfather
Sirius just gaped while everyone else rolled around laughing "How in the blazes did you ever hear about that?" he yelped, which just caused everyone to laugh harder because he'd confirmed it was true
Past and Future I by wokanshutaiduo

"So what's the guaranteed death, and will we catch it if we stand too close to you?" Harry asked, going into what Millicent had snidely referred to as 'reporter pose' the previous week.
"A giant three headed dog." That was Nott, as succinct as possible.
Harry considered asking Nott what, exactly, he had been doing out and about at two in the morning (or whatever time it actually was, Harry was too bored to check his watch), but then decided that he didn't actually care. This news of a giant three-headed dog was far more interesting. "So the gates of hell are in a school of magic? Who knew?" he muttered. Millicent elbowed him rather harshly in the side, and only rolled her eyes when he pouted at her. Really, she was getting far too used to him, taking such liberties with his person!
By this point in the term, the rest of his house was used to his nonsensical (to purebloods, at least) ramblings, and completely ignored him.
"Just wait until I tell Father what that crazy old man has here!" For once, it wasn't Draco Malfoy whining about his father, but Pansy Parkinson. It may have just been Harry's imagination, but he was pretty sure she was excited by the prospect."He's going to kill us all!"
"I should be so lucky," Harry muttered, this time receiving a kick from Millicent. Such violence!
"You know," Harry said thoughtfully a minute later, interrupting the rapidly more hysterical complaints, "it's rather odd that Dumbledore would keep a creature such as that in the castle and only use a locked door and a vague warning at the beginning of the school year to guard it."
"So, what?" Zabini asked. "You think the creature is a precautionary measure in itself?" Noticing the blank looks on a few of the faces, he sighed and rephrased, "It's guarding something?"
Harry actually hadn't thought that, but it was a good idea. "Or," he shrugged, "The Headmaster's hoping students will go in there and get eaten, to cut down on the cost of feed."
They stared at him for a few minutes before deciding that he'd gone back to his usual comments, rather than anything useful or interesting. "We should find out what it's guarding," Malfoy decided suddenly.
Harry snorted, but then noticed that his idiot classmates were, for the most part, nodding thoughtfully. Come on, Slytherins were supposed to be cunning, not moronically curious!
-Genius Does What It Must by smrt1

Harry giggled to himself. Oh, Zabini would surely regret the day he'd suggested that, oh indeed he would!
Finally being released by the crazy old man who'd never heard of a barber, some of the older students led the new first years down... and down... and down. Apparently, they would be shackled to the walls to sleep, good to know.
Mind occupied with disturbing, morbid thoughts involving the various tortures he'd read about (what was that one, it was either Vikings or American Indians, the something eagle? Oh yeah, that was way vicious), Harry was rather surprised when they ground to a halt... in front of a stone wall. Aha! Obviously this whole thing was an elaborate ruse to use them as sacrifices to Satan!
...or not, as they were sternly informed of the password, and the consequences of forgetting the password or giving it out to non-Slytherins, at which an entrance appeared. Perhaps there was a torture chamber laying in wait, hidden so the authorities wouldn't stumble upon it!
Sometimes Harry wondered at his mind.
-Genius Does What It Must by smrt1

As harry was eating a grilled cheese sandwich, a shadow was cast over him, he looked up to see Draco Malfoy standing there.
"Do you mind, you're in my light." Said harry.
Draco sneered, "You think you're so smart don't you potter?"
"Why of course I do Draco, I am after all labeled a genius, 5 times over." Replied harry.
"Tell me potter, what's it like?" asked Draco with a sneer.
"What's what like? Being a genius, oh its quite fun actually. Did you know I received a government grant to build a weapon that has the potential to wipe out all life on earth? It was quite fun actually, especially since I kept trying to activate it when the government tried to stop me. Sadly my lovely doomsday weapon was destroyed because the government thought I was to mentally unstable to be near it." Said harry with a sigh.
Everyone in the great hall looked at harry like he was nuts.
Draco simply stood there with his mouth open, before turning around and walking back to the Slytherin table, the insult he was building up to was completely destroyed by the insane potter.
-Harry Potter of Atlantis

"In Quidditch!" Harry insisted. "On a broom! Not in hundred-kilometre-an-hour traffic heading in the other direction!" He was gonna die, he knew it. After all his amazing escapes from Dark Lords, and basilisks, and vampires, he was going to die in a traffic accident... a Batmobile, admittedly, which set it apart from an ordinary traffic accident, but still.
- And Now For Something Completely Different

When Severus finally came to the manor in own person, he was met by the strangest sight. He had only stepped through the door when one Fred Weasley came running screaming apologises over his shoulder, chased by older brother Bill who was waving his wand around dangerously. A teen looking disturbingly alike Potter was laughing helplessly along with George at the sight, and the Dark Lord… was banging his head into the wall?
Severus was fairly convinced the world had turned upside-down on him.
-Do Not Walk Gently Into The Night by Tiro

Had the Dark Lord chosen any other night to kill the Potters, Morticia would have been unable to find Henbane. Had this all happened on any other night, Petunia Dursley would have woken up to a rather unpleasant surprise waiting for her on her doorstep. Harry Potter would have spent the next ten years being bullied by his cousin Dudley before being tossed into a world that he knew nothing of, surrounded by those who meant him harm with no clue of what to do, losing what little family he managed to gain and leading a confusing, miserable existence.
Several clocks struck midnight, their chimes ringing ominously throughout 0001 Cemetery Lane, marking the last few moments of the Family's favorite holiday. When the Dursleys opened their front door tomorrow morning, there would be no baby on their doorstep. Harry Potter had been lost; Henbane Addams rolled over peacefully in his sleep.
The twelfth chime rang and October 31st came to an end.
-Henbane Addams

Harry grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her off of him. "I'm all right, Hermione. See?" He gave a little spin. "Completely fine."
"Except that you've only got half a soul now," Ron pointed out fretfully.
Two cracks sounded. Harry jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder. "Well, not half a soul, if I understood anything." The twin ruffled Harry's hair.
"Yeah, more like a soul and half." The other twin flopped onto the bed.
"Exactly. He got an upgrade."
"Harry Potter. The-Boy-Who-Lived Version 1.5."
"You're almost twice the man You-Know-Who is now, Harry."
"Poor bloke won't stand a chance when he finds you this year."
-Shadow of the Phoenix

Harry sat in an empty compartment a few doors down from the normal Prefect Compartment. Hermione sent Harry a thankful look for picking the compartment. It was obvious that he picked it so most people wouldn't think of bothering them when Prefects were around. Harry blinked as Luna offered him the upside down Quibbler to read. Amazingly, as Harry looked at the upside down magazine it made sense. The words were probably enchanted to read one way and different another way. Instead of an article on Crumpled-Headed Snorlacks, it was an article critiquing Fudge's years as Minister complete with a picture of the portly-figure and Lucius Malfoy.
Harry would willingly bet his Firebolt, that Hermione did not know the charm used on the magazine. "You should use my glasses Harry. It helps find garlmes." The Gryffindor was willing to bet his wand that Luna purposely talked in codes. Oh, and it was fairly obvious what she was talking about. Maybe the blond purposely left her codes easy for him to decipher?
"Thanks." He mumbled to the blond as he slid the offered glasses on his face. The article seemed to double in length including bank transactions from the Malfoy account to Fudges account. Harry had to keep his mouth shut and not have his eyes pop out. This article if printed in the Daily Prophet would end up shutting Fudge down permanently. As in Azkaban, possibly Dementors kiss permanent.
Luna leaned over and read the article beside Harry. "Daddy worked hard on this article. The Snorlacks seem to be migrating this season."
"This is an informative article on Snorlacks. Very interesting." Harry mumbled as he read how Malfoy paid the Minister to not pass certain laws.
-Whisper by Silver Ame Tsukino

"You are truly and utterly evil."
"I will take that as a compliment."
"I didn't mean it in any other way", Carmilla said with a smile. "But what we are planning is torture, you know?"
"No it's not", Alexander said. "A few seconds it's not torture."
"You're going to have it on you yourself", Abel said. "Isn't that a bit too painful?"
"Nope!" the teen said cheerfully. "I've already been tortured with Crucio when I was fourteen, so this'll be a piece of cake!"
Abel and Carmilla stared at him and he continued:
"It was an accident."
"Accident?" the half-vampire asked. "Are you crazy?"
"No, that was when I was fifteen", the raven-haired teen replied.
-The Truth Behind Evil

Tom was sitting at dinner once again, looking over at Afton with a nonchalant air about him. He didn't want anyone to know of his fascination, or his interest, but he caught something that was out of routine.
Afton was staring at the ceiling, his glasses veiling the green brilliance of his eyes. Rather suddenly, he bowed his head, looking toward the Ravenclaw table. Tom slyly looked to where the Gryffindor was staring at, only to see a young girl with long blonde hair. She was just as small as Afton was, not looking a day over thirteen. A dreamy smile crossed her face as she turned away from Altair and further down the table.
Another Ravenclaw female met her eyes, a rather pretty and well-known Mudblood, Hermione Granger. She flashed the blonde Ravenclaw a grin, turning to look at the Slytherin table. Tom tensed as Granger looked close towards him, but passed his form quickly and landed on a fifth year male by the name of Zachariah Phenner. The Slytherin wasn't very notable in his House and tended to blend in with the rest of his classmates. There were rumors that he was a Mudblood, but he claimed he was a well-known halfblood.
Zachariah gave a nod, turning to look over his shoulder back at the Gryffindor table. Who else to catch the Slytherin's eye than Brendan Cohr? The Charms prodigy grinned stupidly, his head always in the clouds, and winked down back at Afton.
Tom inhaled deeply, burying his head closer to his plate. What the bloody hell was that? It appeared as if they were signaling to each other. How could five students, who had never been seen talking, have a secret gesture?
Tom chuckled, eyes glittering as he eyed Zachariah Phenner. The boy was in his House. His follower. And he was also Tom's way to Afton.Things just looked up.
-Goddess of Imaginary Light

The first week he caught Blaise staring at him with a calculating stare. He seemed entertained with Harry's attitude. Finally he cornered Harry.
"What are you up to?" he asked Harry one day in Herbology. It was easy to talk to him privately because Hermione and Draco would be concentrating on their own plant trying to to outdo each other in how many potions could be created with their plant. It was frightening how much Hermione simplified everything for Ron and himself the first time around. The only class he could easily out class her would be DADA. He couldn't help but admire her dedication for her studies, especially when she got so excited over it.
"World Domination" Harry said with a straight face.
"... I'm not sure if you're joking because the way things are going I say you do have a possibility." Blaise finally said after a long pause.
"Don't worry I'll make you one of my generals!" Harry said brightly then broke down chuckling
In the end Harry didn't really answer him but Professor Sprout was stuck on the world domination proclamation. It made her uneasy because she couldn't tell if he was joking or not.
-Not Another Time Travel Story by Granny Tg

"What the hell?" Blaise cursed, as the door to the compartment opened.
"Holy shit! It's Black (guess who twitched again) dressed up as a Nazgûl! Mr. Rock, sacrifice yourself to protect us!" Harry closed his eyes and threw the rock as hard as he could. He heard a smack and a thump before he risked opening his eyes.
"Harry," Blaise said calmly, "Congratulations. You just knocked out a Dementor, using nothing more than your pet rock.""…"
"Is that a good thing?" Lupin shuddered and Blaise was damn sure he was awake.
-Insane Asylum Escapees by RuneWitchSakura

"Oh, I believe alright," Harry started, "I believe you (pointing at Dumbledore) and you (pointing at McGonagall) are both obviously senile and have escaped the insane asylum and have obviously dragged your poor minder (gestured at Snape) along with this insanity," Harry turned to look at Snape with a 'I feel sorry that you have to care for loony's' look on his face, "Would you like me to give you the directions back to the asylum, so you can put the patients back in their beds." It took all of Snape's self control not to crack a smile at the emerald eyed boy, or even worse…laugh.-Insane Asylum Escapees by RuneWitchSakura

The next time Harry opened his eyes he was lying in a basket on a doorstep. At night. All by himself. Surrounded by wild animals and drugged out homeless men with cocaine needles.
Well, alright. Maybe be was exaggerating, but who in their right mind would abandon a baby in the middle of nowhere, completely unprotected from the elements?
A baby hating bastard, that's who.
At the time, Harry concluded, there was nothing he could do to change this situation. So he stayed in that stupid basket and plotted revenge on whoever was responsible for this outrage. Didn't these people know who he was? He was Harry Potter, the cutest, most special baby in the entire universe (according to outside sources).
He swore that if this was the work of his parents he was going to take advantage of his aerodynamic pee ability and aim for the eyes next time he was due for a diaper change.
They would rue the day! Rue!
-Necromancers Anonymous

"1953, 1954, 1955, 1956, 1957…" Trey counted tiredly. "Can someone else count now? My throat hurts and my stomach's growling."
"I don't think this is working." Katherine hysterically interrupted. "We could really be stranded here for the rest of our lives! There's not enough food and water to last us forever – the Masters only packed us enough food for seven days (of course, they took into account Trey's bottomless stomach)."
"4,902?" Amy guessed.
"I guess we can just start guessing numbers again." Harry sighed. "I can't believe I don't know this answer. I'm positive I studied it before."
"Same here," Shan agreed. "It's at the tip of my mind…"
"7834?" Crystal grumbled as she flicked her long, wavy, black hair over her left shoulder. "This isn't working." she muttered when the wall remained unmoving. "Emily, you're smart, can't you remember anything?"
"Sorry Crystal," murmured Emily, "I really don't know."
"9245." Lance tried.
"Strawberry-banana shortcake and vanilla flavored triple scoop ice-cream sprinkled with red heart sprinkles!" Trey shouted as his mouth watered slightly at the thought.
"Excuse me," Katherine, who was at the end of her patience, snapped. "But I have to remind you that food is not a number!"
"So, it was a worthy try." Trey shrugged.
"Idiots! I'm surrounded by idiots!" Katherine hissed as her eyes blazed furiously.
Harry and Shan narrowed their eyes slightly, but decided not to comment.
"Trey, come over here and quit bothering the girls." Aaron sighed as he kneaded his temple.
"Fine, fine, don't ask for my help." Trey muttered loudly with a small pout. "I bet the answer to the stupid question is some obscene number like…5,093,628,173." Trey huffed as he seated himself next to Aaron.
Katherine's mouth dropped open when the labyrinth wall slowly shifted aside to reveal the exit.
"Trey," Aaron whispered as he draped his arm across the red-head's shoulder, "you're a genius."
"Right," Trey agreed, "what did I say?"
-Dark Prophecy

Never trust the rumour, instead search for the truth.
Never take anything for granted.
Cherish every moment.
Never turn your back on one of us.
Respect those that have earned it.
Fight to live.
Rebel against the norm.
Be yourself.
Accept that everyone is different.
Never be ashamed of who you are.
Eat Pocky.
Live and let live.
- The Underground

Asp stood proudly, then gestured to herself and her people. "You wanted to know why we fought? Then know it. We are the only survivors and thus only witnesses of the Ottery St. Catchpole Slaughter."
The Ottery St. Catchpole Slaughter had been a blacklisted event in the history of the Alliance and OZ. There had been reports that there were terrorists in the small rural town, and the orders that had come from the brass had been to destroy everything and everyone in it. Men, women, children, everyone had been cheerfully slaughtered. The soldiers who had gotten the orders had gone beyond it. Stories were that they had tortured people to death and that several unmentionable practises had been used during the actions. The orders had been buried, the soldiers reposted and the public had been told that there had been a chemical accident in the area that had released toxic gasses that had killed everyone. No one knew of it, until after the first war the Preventers had dug up the files.
Lady Une had ordered a new investigation into the happenings, but nothing conclusive had come from it. They had found no survivors, the only thing they did find were the old reports, the orders that had been given and the witness-accounts from the soldiers that had been given immediately after. They couldn't get those in person anymore, since the one thing they did find out was that every soldier that had participated in the slaughter and every officer that had had something to do with the events were all dead.
Killed in attacks by the Marauders.
It made a sick sort of sense.

"YAAAAARRRR!" bellowed Hoss as he leapt forward.
"AAAAHH!" screamed Grim, raising his light-scythe to repel the attack.
"CHAOS!" cackled Eris, watching the scuffle with delight.
"Go Grim! Go Hoss!" cheered Harry, unwilling to pick sides as he considered both fighters his friends.
"Full on friendship!" announced Junior, tentacles drawing a comatose Ernie and Justin in for a group hug.
"Oh yeah," said Mandy, summing up the situation succinctly, "school here is gonna be good."
-Something Grim This Way Comes » by Ruskbyte

"What d'you see, Grim?" asked Harry, curious to know what his other best friend might see.
Mandy graciously bowed out as Grim moved to replace her in front of the mirror. She huddled next to Harry, the bitterly cold weather prompting her to stand closer than she normally would. Pulling her dressing-gown tight she leaned against him, just barely touching, and muttered soft imprecations about being forced to live in a building whose internal heating was akin to that of a refrigerator.
"An endless graveyard, wit nuttin' but headstones from horizon to horizon," revealed Grim after a few moments of examining the mirror's contents. He paused and then pointed, "Yours and Mandy's are right dere, in de front."
"That's... morbid," concluded Mandy.
"Just being optimistic."
-Something Grim This Way Comes » by Ruskbyte

So Snivellus had been the one in this new life to first experience his peculiar Occlumency Shield. It could only have been him or Dumbledore – considering Voldemort didn't know about their pesky connection, and was still short of a real body with real eyes with which to legilimence someone. Sadly, till that moment the Headmaster had stayed into his own barmy mind and away from his. Pity… it could have been interesting to see his reaction this time around. The Headmaster had, in fact, helped Harry come up with that mental defense during his first life, mostly by acting as the attacking legilimens. When the Headmaster had started waking up chuckling after every attack, they had finally declared the Shield perfect and spent a couple of weeks having a little fun with it.
-He's Not Normal byUncle Stojil

"It was a fresh afternoon the one that saw Harry Potter in front of the pale sign of the Leaky Cauldron," said Harry Potter in front of the pale sign of the Leaky Cauldron, during a fresh afternoon of course. The sentence that could have only been considered a sort of commentary, attracted the attention of quite a few passing people. They watched warily the little boy who had just spoken, wondering if he had lost his sanity or if he was playing something. The fact that they didn't see a thing such as 'the pale sign of the Leaky Cauldron' helped a lot in their assumptions.
The dark-haired boy seemed lost in his thoughts, so when he spoke again, the ones who had slowed down interested, startled a little.
"His shabby clothes, too large for him, made him appear abnormal in the midst of all those well-dressed passersby momentary gawking at him."
Said passersby glanced at each other blushing a little. A few of them scattered away at a fast pace, while others actually stopped completely, amused by the boy's statements, or so their curious smiles said.
"A few of them even stopped walking to assist at the scene. Apparently they hadn't nothing better to do than watch a boy standing on a sidewalk. Harry pitied them slightly, but he didn't show it on his emotionless face," continued the boy while someone started chuckling. "At least, he was about to give them something fascinating to watch."
The small figure in large cloths remained silent for a while. With his last comment he had completely captured those people's interest and now there was a little crowd of five men and two women around him, waiting for something to happen.
"Harry Potter started walking slowly right in front of him," said the youngster while doing just that, "and the audience observed in trepidation that strange boy's march, until he simply… disappeared."
The last word was just a whisper coming from… nothing. Absolutely nothing. The five men and the two women could only stand there openmouthed staring at the now empty space in front of them where once was a boy named Harry Potter.
The Muggle repelling ward did not like all those stares at all.
Soon after, there was nobody anymore where 'the pale sign of the Leaky Cauldron' supposedly was.
-He's Not Normal by Uncle Stojil

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" Ryan roared in frustration, inches in front of the boy's face. "Move any slower and you'll be mistaken as part of the fricken furniture!"
The boy froze momentarily as a pair of shiny white fangs swam into his vision, along with Ryan's glowering eyes. He took off with a scream even before all the words had left Ryan's mouth. As Ryan stumbled out from the shadows he watched in amazement as the boy ran down a side corridor.
"Holy shit... He didn't hit a wall..." Ryan said in disbelief.
Just as he said it, a loud thud echoed down to his ears from the young boy's escape route. Ryan squinted into the distance. Apparently he had failed to take the corner and ran head first into the stone wall some fifty feet away.
"Ah..." Ryan said with a bemused look on his face, "My mistake... That might leave a mark..."
As Ryan looked upon the distant crumpled heap and reflected on his apparent failure, a new set of footsteps came to Ryan's ears from the direction of the boy. Moments later, a tall lanky figure in billowing, black robes knelt down beside the boy to feel his pulse. Ryan leaned back against the wall and watched with interest, whistling a tune. The tall figure stood up and looked around, directly at the source of the whistling and immediately recognized the pale form.
"Lupin, What did you do?" Professor Snape asked ominously as he moved up the corridor toward him.
"Nothing Sir." Ryan replied casually, sounding mildly amused. "That kid has some sort of metal imbalance, every time he sees me he gets this overwhelming urge to hurtle himself into a wall..."
"It's happened before?" Snape asked raising an eyebrow, a small smirk crossing his face as he came to stop a few feet in front of Ryan.
"Three times yesterday, Sir." Ryan replied with a grin that revealed his left fang, "Only I think today's concussion will be more severe as he actually managed to get a run up before he hit the wall."
"A run up, Mr. Lupin?" Snape replied, his eyes shining with suppressed enjoyment."Fifty feet, Sir. Yesterday he barely made one foot before he hit something." Ryan said proudly.
"My..." Snape said with a smirk, "That's quite an overnight achievement."
"Indeed, it is Sir." Ryan said with a grin.
-Twists of Fate

"How much do you want to bet they'll all bow before they realize it isn't the Dark Lord coming through?" he asked. The door they were about to go through was the one Voldemort used. The Death Eaters always entered the room by way of the back door, unless they were entering the room along with the Dark Lord, but only high ranks were seen walking in with Voldemort.
"Ten galleons?" Rudra put forth.
Belial nodded and grasped the doorknob. As the door swung open, he shot a grin over his shoulder at the three behind him before walking in… and immediately laughed. Most of the Death Eaters were on their knees. They must have knelt the moment the door cracked open.
His laughter had heads snapping up in surprise at the sound and then the assembly rose to their feet, some scowling at the newcomers, others watching them with deeply hidden curiosity in their eyes. Belial caught sight of Drake, standing beside Severus and Bellatrix and he gave the blond a wink, though he didn't think his best mate saw it as his attention was on the two wizards following him.
- The Black Bunny by Windseeker2305

Finally, Vernon Dursley's words were true, ringing in Harry's ears again and again as the seriousness of the situation impaled upon him.
There was no such thing as magic.
-15 & on Death Row » by concrete13rose

He, the Golden Child of the Glorious House of Gryffindor, was the sly and crafty Silver Serpent himself. Fate must really be laughing at him right now, and undoubtedly, she had it in for him as well.
-How to Tell the Truth from the Lies » by Lady Azar de Tameran

Harry threw his hands up in the air, waved at Draco and the Slytherins, who all immediately waved back, much to his satisfaction.-Truth or Dare by TheFatalIllusion

Harry waved at the Slytherins again, delighting in the way nearly every single one of them waved back, and the other houses started whispering.
-Truth or Dare by TheFatalIllusion

Surprisingly, they didn't have to wait long before the door flew open with a bang as it hit the wall with a large amount of force. Everyone glimpsed a tall man, dressed in a black robe, standing in the doorway.
"Don't pani-" The man was unceremoniously cut off as the door which had previously made hard contact with the dungeons' wall, rebounded and slammed back into it's frame; in turn striking the man in the face.
Everyone winced.
"He's going to help us?" Nott asked incredulously.
James was staring at the door wide-eyed, silently agreeing with Nott; as much as it pained him. He knew it was Sirius by the behaviour.
Harry, meanwhile, was concerned for his godfather.
"I'm okay, Bambi," Black groaned as he pushed the door open, elbeit more gently this time, allowing the three time-travellers to get their first look at the man.
A tall, black haired man had stepped into the room, and into their line of sight. All three Marauders instantly knew that this was Sirius in the future as piercing grey eyes flickered over the class, taking everything in within seconds.
"We're so screwed." Parkinson whispered.
Black stepped through the doorway, taking in the giant spiders crawling around the room as he shut the door behind him.
"Merlin," he breathed. "What the hell did you do, Remus?"
"I didn't mean to!"
"Albus allowed you to actually teach potions? Is that man insane?"
-Marauder Teaching Potions by tinybee

He made it safely out into the hall, only to see Tracy and Hermione burst out behind him, still hot on his heels.
Hogwarts had been witness to many odd sights over the last one thousand years, but none were any odder than the sight of Harry Potter sprinting down the halls with two naked, muddy girls chasing after him, howling for his blood.
As terrified as he was, Harry couldn't help but think that Sirius would've loved it.
-What Would Slytherin Harry Do? » by Big D on a Diet

"Well?" The dark lord leaned forward.
"Nothing happened master," the nervous death eater was shaking. "We showed up and nothing happened."
"The team got ready and we all took our positions," tears fell under the death eater's mask and his voice became shrill. "Nothing happened, wormtail ate some bad shrimp and had to get his stomach pumped, then he was hit by one of those street taxis, and then he ate some bad curry and is currently making my Lord's water closet smell like a week old corpse . . . other than that, nothing happened."
"If nothing happened," the dark lord asked in false calm. "Then why did half the team burst into tears when they got back? Why did the other half wet themselves? AND WHY WON'T YOU STOP SHAKING?"
"He's just trying to trick us," the death eater giggled insanely. "Trying to get us to drop our guard . . . but . . . but we're too smart for that."
"CRUCIO," Voldemort had to resist the urge to cry . . . you just couldn't get good minions anymore.
-Make A Wish by Rorschach's Blot

"Yup, those would be my midgets. And just so you know Luna was the one who changed to time. She woke up this morning knowing we'd be late because of the Narffles. I agreed so all the clocks have been changed ahead an hour. We'll have to change them back when we get home."
Hermione gapped at him. "How the hell did you change my clocks in MY home?"
Harry grinned widely and waved his hands out. "With Magic."
Lady Une couldn't stop the soft snort of amusement at that excuse.
-You Got Some Nargles in Your Head » by Novus Ars

Harry won. Harry would always win. And the people loved him for it.
-The Birth of Evil by DisobedienceWriter

Pansy scoffed. "Oh please. Dumbledore may be amazingly dense and slightly oblivious, but he is far from evil. The man practically shits sunshine."
-Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by Roozette

He chirped before bringing his legs under him so he was crouched on the bench before springing up on the tabletop. "Listen up peons!" He shouted, much to the shock of those in the hall.
"It has come to my attention that there are those of you that see me as the Heir of Slytherin-"
"No really?" Ron muttered sarcastically.
"As such I demand my full rights as Heir!"
Dumbledore twinkled at him from the Head Table. "Which rights Mr. Potter?"
Hikaru struck a thoughtful pose. "If I were truly the Heir, I would be entitled to one fourth of the school, would I not?"
The Headmaster nodded solemnly, playing along with him. "That is true."
"Then I demand that everything to the west of the library to the Transfigurations classroom and above be declared my territory," he said dramatically with a flourish of his hand. "And as my territory I declare a toll to be set up with the proceeds going to the Save the Charmander fund,-"
"He does realize that that's not a real creature right?" Blaise asked thoughtfully.
"Who cares?" Pansy asked. "Now shush, this is the most interesting thing that's happened this week."
"as well as rent from all students residing within-"
"That includes the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor dorms," Oliver Wood shouted from the Gryffindor table.
"Only fourth year and up," Hikaru leered at the boy playfully. "I like 'em well developed, thanks ever so much."
"I'm telling Kakashi," Pansy muttered.
"Hey!" He said with mock indignation. "I never said I wouldn't share. But I digress. Since I am the Heir of Slytherin, I demand that all former and current Slytherins bow when I enter a room-"
"What!" Snape screeched. "This has gone far enough. Tell him Albus."
"Tell him what?" The Headmaster asked as he popped a lemon drop in his mouth. "If he truly is the heir then he is fully entitled to all that and more."
"Further more, I demand a harem full of handsome boys to pleasure me-"
"Albus really, you can't allow all this!" McGonagall hissed.
"True, the harem part is a bit extreme. Kakashi would kill them all."
"Attendance at the auditions is compulsory for those in fourth year and higher, those with girly bits, need not apply," Harry added as finally sat down.
-Arashi no mae no shizukesa by Lyn908

At age eight, Harry Potter had an epiphany. He realized, with the utter certainty that only eight years old can have, that he was a Jedi.
- Force sensitive by LunaStorm

He grinned back madly at his friend and Neville promptly broke into gales of laughter, Harry along with him. They roared with laughter at the whole situation, the fact that they themselves were babies, that their parents were alive and well, and the mistaken identity of the Boy-Who-Lived. This, unavoidably, drew the attention of nearly everyone in the room, as the two one year olds just about choked themselves laughing.
-Potter's Army by mel92

Theodore Nott looked up from his pudding. "Yes you are, on both counts. You're also incredibly full of yourself."
Harry sent him a withering glare. "No one asked you."
"And no one asked you to sit here," Theodore pointed out. "And yet, here we both are."
-Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281

"Why would I be offended?" Luna asked. "I've seen your version of sanity. It bores me."
-Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281

Harry looked at James, James looked up at Harry from his place sprawled on the ground.
"Sooooo…..who's your mother?" Harry sighed.
"A one night stand stranger who left me on your doorstep in a basket with a note telling you what a prick you were."
"No, really, who's your mother?"
-The Future of the Past by The-Shy-Quiet-One

It took Shinichi all strength and effort mustered together to turn the computer off and open the bedroom window, because if they had gotten to the point where even Saguru had to use a wall as a support, then it was getting deadly. They didn't have the courage- or the oxygen- to read what else it said anyway.
-Astrological Love Test by KSA Key-chan

When the train finally pulled into King's Cross station Harry, Daphne, and Zacharias said their goodbyes and then went there separate ways. Harry began to push his way through the crowd, but didn't get more than five frrt when he was intercepted by a particular blonde haired wizard. Harry released a sigh before quickly pasting a smile onto his face.
"Malfoy!" he greeted. "It's good to see you again!"
"Don't give me that bull!" the other boy snarled angrily. "I know you're Harry Potter! How dare you try to trick me-"
"Why, Malfoy, I'm really not sure what you're talking about," Harry said, feigning confusion. His eyes quickly swept through the crowd around him before landing on just the person he was looking for. Harry had to fight down a smirk. "Oh, I'm afraid that I'll have to cut this conversation short; my father is here."
Malfoy froze for a moment before following Harry's line of sight to a figure that was leaning against a nearby wall. It was a rather tall man with broad shoulder and a defined face. Long, black hair was tied back from his face at the nape of his neck and a pair of dark eyes coolly surveyed the crowd and students and parents. He looked just like what one would expect of a vampire.
Malfoy gulped nervously as his eyes slipped back to Harry. "I- Er, I mean...Sorry, Tepes," he finished lamely.
Harry smiled understandingly and then, without a word, began to walk straight towards the dark man. He could feel Malfoy's embarrassed and confused gaze burning into his back.
"Hello sir," Harry said jovially as he stopped in front of the dark man. "I couldn't help but notice you standing here. Do you mind if I join you?"
The man slowly raised one eyebrow in question. Harry's smirk widened marginally. Now to add the finishing touch...
"Forgive me if this seems a little odd, but would you mind if I introduce you to someone?"
The man's other eyebrow quickly joined the first. He didn't look annoyed though-if anything he was amused. Finally he shrugged nonchalantly and pushed himself off the wall. Harry turned on his heel and began to lead the man back through the crowds and over to where Malfoy was still standing, staring open-mouthed at Harry. The dark haired boy smiled politely the blonde, though on the inside he was jumping with joy.
"Malfoy, I'd like to introduce you to my father, Count Vlad Tepes the Third," he said. "Father, this is Draco Malfoy."
A slow smirk crossed the face of "Count Tepes". He reached out and shook a stunned and terrified Malfoy's hand. "A pleasure, I'm sure," he murmured quietly.
Malfoy barely managed to stutter something in reply before he turned and fled. He even tripped over his cloak a few times in his haste, which was only a bonus in Harry's book. Harry was just turning to thank the dark man for playing along when a familiar voice spoke up behind him.
"...Harry? What are you doing?"
Surprised, Harry glanced back over his shoulder, only to find Zacharias standing there with a puzzled expression. The other boy glanced between Harry and the dark man for a moment before finally sighing. Despite his apparent exasperation however, the corners of his lips were curling up in the beginnings of a smirk.
"The Tepes thing again?" Zacharias asked. "Yeah, well, I guess my father is kind of vampire-ish."
Harry couldn't help it: He threw back his head and laughed.
-Searching for Disaster by Shadow Rebirth

"Nightmare," the detective muttered furiously to himself. "This is a nightmare." People did not go through walls, not even phantom thieves. As for Kid, the kaitou just laughed.
-Facets of a Gem by peppymint

"And I'd say the old Bumblebee would agree," Lucius said softly, still snuggled into his mate's neck.
"So a little bait-n-switch, some political maneuvering and then… world domination!"
Everyone turned wide eyed to Hermione. The girl looked at each of them, apparently surprised by the others'… surprise.
"What? That's the plan right? Or did I miss something?"
-Radix Acclaro By Random Dispatcher

Harry blinked as he looked over at the street. Well... That wasn't something he'd ever expected to see.
Professor McGonnagal and Madam Pomphrey standing over an unconscious, burnt, blackened man who strongly resembled... Wait, was that...?
"Ah... Professor McGonnagal?" Harry asked.
"Mister Potter," McGonnagal said looking quite non-chalant. As though she hadn't just knocked Snape out with a Beater's bat. And technically, she hadn't.
That was Madam Pomphrey.
"Madam Pomphrey?"
The nurse coughed, and discretely hid the bat behind her back.
"Mister Potter," she replied.
There was awkward silence for a few moments. An awkward silence broken by the obvious question.
"Did you just knock Snape out with a bat to the back of his head?" He asked.
"No," McGonnagal said.
"Yes," Pomphrey said. They looked at eachother, then back at Harry.
They looked at eachother again, before their gazes went back to Harry.
"Yes, we did," McGonnagal said.
"Quite," Pomphrey said with a professionally neutral face. "We didn't think you'd mind."
McGonnagal's lips twitched. Harry looked back and forth... And he grinned broadly.
"Not at all," he said cheerfully. "Whatever it is you're doing that involves that, keep it up, please!"
"Thank you, Mister Potter," McGonnagal said. "See you in a few months."
"You too," Harry said, turning and whistling his way down the street. He was very sure that at that moment, he could've produced the most powerful Patronus ever.
The two witches glanced at eachother.
"We found him like this, mangled and injured due to the wards," McGonnagal said. "We found him after checking to make sure he was all right."
"Yes, quite," Pomphrey said with a slight smirk. "Exactly the thing I was going to suggest."
"Well then, we're in agreement," McGonnagal said with a smile. "We should get him to the medical wing, poor man probably has a concussion..." She trailed off and kicked the unconscious Potions Master in the balls.
"Minnie!" Pomphrey gasped. Minerva gave her a look."The wards are... Very sadistic," she said. Pomphrey smiled and nodded.
"Oh yes... Quite sadistic... He was struck twice, as the wards are not bound by the Hippocratic Oath to do no harm," Pomphrey said. Minerva nodded, kicking Snape in the family jewels once more. The Potions Master unconsciously groaned.
"Well! Any other injuries that might need reporting?" McGonnagal asked. Pomphrey hummed, and shook her head.
"None come to mind..."
"Well then, let us get him back to Hogwarts, post-haste," McGonnagal said.
"Agreed," Pomphrey said, her catty smile mirroring that of the Transfiguration teacher's. They took a hold of Snape's shoulders, and Apparated with twin cracking sounds.
-That Boy Is Trouble by Andrew Joshua Talon

Severus stared, his body frozen, his mouth hanging slightly open. He lacked words. Yes, the feared potions master, the greasy git, the bat from the dungeons of Hogwarts; the Severus Snape had been reduced speechless.
Of course, seeing your Dark Lord being overruled by your lover and your godson in a snowball-fight of all things was something Severus had never seen before. He watched as Sirius and Erus threw another set of snowballs at the poor man, and gave out a very un-Severus-like giggle when one of them hit Voldemort in the face.
-A Different Life by Tiro

Then he dropped the bombshell. With innocent excitement, he expressed how much he was looking forward to speaking with his cousin, Draco's mother Narcissa, again, since he hadn't seen her since summer.
It was terribly difficult to keep a straight face and stay in character at the expression on Dumbledore's face. The old man had actually sputtered a bit as he tried to recover from his surprise
-Rebirth by Aya Macchiato

Salazar turned around-and saw quite clearly, what. 'NOOO! I don't want to go back to the afterlife! You can't make me! I happen to enjoy eating and breathing and other mortal habits!
-Soul of Slytherin Heir of Gryffindor

Harry sniffed and face the hall as a whole with a large benevolent smile plastered on his face.
"Greetings primitive beings! We are from the future. I am the great and powerful, all-knowing Harry James Potter. Son of James William Potter and someone who's identity I shall not reveal for risk of taking the whole challenge out of it for dear old Daddykins.
"Behind me, you see the gorgeous and mysterious Draco Amadeus Malfoy. Son of the mysterious Lucius Amadeus Malfoy. Oh crap I just used mysterious twice. I must practice my diction at a later date. Moving on!
"Accompanying us are the two beauteous delights known as Ginny Annabel Weasley and Pansy No middle name Parkinson, daughters of Arthur Inius Weasley and Molly Prewett, and… actually I'm not sure what Pansy's parents names are. Anyway, we are here to take over so this will all be much simpler if you'll all just bow down now."
Dray, Gin and Pansy all stared at him in amazement.
"Harry," Whispered a rather pale Draco. "I don't think that will help the situation."
"What?" Harry said. "Oh alright then."
He raised his arms above his head in an almighty gesture and opened his mouth.
"We… Come… In… PEACE!" He said dramatically.
If it had been possible for the silence in the great hall to become any more pronounced, that's exactly what would have happened. As it was, it was broken only by a quiet comment from the young Severus Snape.
"Oh sweet Merlin there's another one."
-Replay by Semika

Harry's musings were cut short as, in the process of the aforementioned leaning, he fell through the wall.
Today was not a good day for his relationship with gravity.
-Necromancers Anonymous by The Iza

Ron however was looking a little bewildered. He looked hesitantly at Hermione, but the brown haired girl just looked at him. She obviously knew where the core was but seemed a little disappointed that Ron didn't know. Ron awkwardly lifted a hand and placed it over his heart.
"Here?" he asked uncertainly.
The look on Harry's face was priceless. He seemed to be biting his tongue so that he wouldn't say anything to the red haired boy. Instead he walked over to Ron, and trying really hard not to hurt the stupid boy, he pulled Ron's hand away from his chest and placed it on his forehead.
Damien and Ginny were doubled over in silent fits of laughter and Hermione was also trying not to laugh at the look on Ron's face. The blush on Ron's face was as vivid as his hair. He slowly lowered his hand and looked dumbly at Harry.
-The Darknes Within by Kurinoone

"What do you think about my eating habits?" asked Naruto suddenly.
Sasori looked at him in obvious surprise. Naruto grinned, pleased that he managed to throw the older boy out of tact.
"Everyone is always nagging me about how much ramen I'm eating. Do you think they're right?"
"One of the major downsides of having high chakra reserves is an increased need for calories. And when it comes to calories, few foods can match raw carbohydrates. Like, say, noodles. Unfortunately, noodles are rather bland by themselves so most people add some sort of flavor to them. Like putting them in a soup or broth."
Naruto stared at Sasori in surprise.
"So no, I don't think they're right," concluded Sasori. "You're not getting fat so it's obvious your body needs all that food. If anything, you should eat more of that stuff."
Naruto's eyes started tearing up, confusing Sasori.
"Naruto wha-"
"YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND EVER!" Naruto shouted, lunging at Sasori.
"No hugging!" hissed Sasori. "Stay right where you are!"
"Quickly, what do you think about my outfit!" said Naruto.
"You could wear a clown suit for all I care," said Sasori crankily. "What did I tell you about physical contact?"
"Sorry," said Naruto, rubbing the back of his head. "I forgot you don't like touching."
"If you 'forget' again, I'm going to sic my puppets at you," Sasori warned. "The poison-using ones."
"Okay, okay, I get it!" said Naruto. "I get it."
- Scorpions Disciple by nobody102

He was just about to make another gash in his arm when Kabuto's voice stopped him.
"Now, now, Naruto-kun…" Kabuto said with way too much amusement. "No matter what happened, there are better ways to deal with it than by cutting yourself. Why don't you put the knife down and tell uncle Kabuto what's bothering you?"
-Scorpions Disciple by by nobody102

The evening started out normal enough despite the sinister looks the blond two year old had given him. The kid had been quietly watching TV all afternoon. It was getting close to dinner time though and that was one of the few things his Sensei had told him to do, so Kakashi started looking around the kitchen for something to make.
Finding something quick and easy to make the young Jounin grabbed the macaroni out of the cabinet. It also happened to be one of the few meals the teen knew how to make so he threw the noodles into a pot and put in the right amount of water with the cheese packet. Kakashi smile to himself, 'Maybe this won't be so bad after all. The kid hasn't moved and I don't really have to do anything.' The teen thought.
Of course he just had to jinx it. Kakashi ran into the living room where Naruto had been watching TV preparing for an attack, however what he found was a blond toddler crawling… on the ceiling. The young ninja barely registered that the crash had come from a broken picture frame that the boy had most likely knocked over getting up there.
Kakashi was just about to try and get him down when the toddler did something that made him seriously want to puke his lunch, him a war torn Jounin. The small boy turned his head toward his babysitter, without turning his body… while facing the opposite way.
"Kashi-kuuuun," the very creepy toddle almost sang tauntingly, in a voice the sounded low and demonic despite the fact in was coming from a child under 3 feet tall. "Aren't you gonna play with me Kashi-kun?" the boy almost whined. If the young Jounin had any motor function he would have pissed his pants. As it was the blond toddler still on the ceiling with his head on the wrong way talking like that… well it was just too much, so the war veteran shinobi Sharingan Kakashi… fainted.
Within two seconds a blond toddler fell from the ceiling, dispelling the partial transformation around his head as he laughed his ass off on the way down. Naruto didn't even stop laughing as he hit the floor in his two year old body, the look on his Sensei's face was truly priceless, and he wasn't even finished.
-An Unexpected Beginning by Crystalzap

"You used your own DNA for the Chameleon Arch, didn't you?" he asked instead.
The Master looked up with a satisfied smirk. As far as Harry could tell, he was feeling pleased that Harry had worked it out.
"Oh yes," he said smugly. "And do you know what that makes you, Harry Potter? That makes you my nephew."
Harry's eyebrows rose as he thought about that one.
Then he smirked back.
"It's like we're one great big happy megalomaniac family," he sniffed, pretending to sound deeply touched.
The Master laughed, madly and boisterously.
-All According to the Master Plan by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel

What happened next was something Fox found very amusing. The sounds of the battle stopped, the wizards stopped, the ninja stopped, his teammates stopped, the spells stopped, the jutsu stopped, heck, even the Earth stopped, as everyone snapped their heads towards the loudmouthed ninja. Fox was up in a tree, and he watched as around one hundred eyes turned themselves towards him, all of them wide with disbelief.
- To Be Different by SaturnXK

"YOSH! Look at these two training their hardest, they truly represent the springtime of youth!" a voice shouted from behind.
Both twins sighed and lowered their wands, almost regretfully they turned around to look...only to gag when they spotted not only Salazar Slytherin but Godric Gryffindor wearing skintight green leotards.
''Oh god.." Fred muttered.
"That's just cruel and unusual." George added.
"COME MY FRIENDS, LET US TRAIN TOGETHER AND SHOW THE WORLD OUR FLAMES OF YOUTH!" Godric shouted grinning widely and holding out two leotards for the twins.
Flames seemed to ignite in Salazar's eyes "YOSH! A brilliant idea Godric!" He shouted. "We shall run 300 laps around the cave and if we cant do that we shall do 1000 push ups and if we cant do that we shall climb the walls with only one hand and a boulder strapped to our back and if..."
Tears seemed to well up in Godrics eyes as he looked over at Salazar.
The two clashed together in a hug of epic proportions causing a sunlit beach to appear behind them. Both twins who were currently staring wide eyed screamed and began clawing at their eyes as they rolled around on the ground.
-The Demon Who Lived by Kolarthecool

"So, Naruto-san, I've heard of your legendary diplomatic exploits in the recent weeks, and I'm very curious…how did you manage to succeed? For you to have made peace settlements with two countries that we were at war with within two weeks shows that you are a master of skills that I can't even fathom," said Hiashi.
Minato turned to his son with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, I'm very curious to hear about that as well, Naruto."
Kushina, seeing the opportunity, added her own pressure. "I want to hear all about how my son became such a master negotiator."
Naruto calmly took a sip of tea as his mind tried to stifle the panic rising from his chest. He could clearly see Hinata trying to stifle her giggles. "Hmm…well…I'm not sure really. I kinda just asked them, you know?"
Hinata didn't even try to hold back her laughter at the sight of everyone staring at Naruto in disbelief. This was too funny to be possible.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"You just asked them, and they signed peace agreements in the middle of a war?" Kushina, known for her bluntness, didn't hesitate to ask the obvious question.
Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Erm…yeah. I said that war just didn't make any sense for them, and that peace was helpful to everyone, and that I could level their village in a day if I wanted to, and—"
"What?" Kushina, yet again, asked the obvious (and somewhat rude) questions. "You threatened to level their village in a day? And they believed you?"
"Well, I could have, I mean, it wouldn't be that hard…" Naruto completely misinterpreted the agape mouths and revised his claim, swinging his hands back and forth in front of him in a defensive gesture. "N-n-not that I would ever do that, of course! N-no, I wouldn't want to kill all those people, I don't want to kill anybody, that would just be horri—"
"Naruto-kun." Hinata's soft whisper stopped the blond's clueless ramblings immediately, much to everyone's surprise. "No one believes that you would have done that, they are merely surprised at the fact that you could do it."
Naruto calmed down after a few moments, visibly deflating. "Oh."
-Time Heals All Wounds by Animus of Masada

"Oi, Naruto!"
Naruto turned around to respond to Kiba's loud call, and then froze.
His body lost all connections to his brain, as it was clutched by a primal instinct. He knew it came from Sayuri. It was projected from her and claimed possession of him; invading him; overwhelming him.
He lost it.
Kiba and Shino watched in stunned silence how Naruto pointed at the Inuzuka boy, yelled like a loon, made three full turns and ran away like a man possessed. They stayed like that for a whole minute, staring mutely at the disappearing figure and the growing cloud of dust he raised.
"…what the fuck just happened?" Kiba uttered. The puppy perched on his head only whimpered. Shino's eyes looked to his comrade to his right.
"It seems I'm not the only one who thinks you really need to take a shower."
"Oh fuck you, Shino."
-Naruto Genkyouien by Daneel Rush

"Ne, Gaara," Naruto said softly, unable to contain his glee. "Would it be all right to do this?" He leaned towards Gaara and whispered something, causing Gaara to widen his eyes in shock, and then let out something that sounded suspiciously like a snort.
The Gryffindors who weren't looking at the pair now had their complete and undivided attention on the two shinobi at the sound of Gaara's amusement. Gaara immediately stopped while his cheeks flushed in embarrassment. It had only lasted a few seconds, but the damage was already done.
"That is a suitable idea," he coughed, in a futile attempt to regain his composure. Now everyone was curious. What could he possibly do to Malfoy that would make Gaara act like that?
-Naruto and the Goblet of Fire by Reidluver

Naruto put on a nervous face and hesitantly took a step forwards.
"E-excuse me." He called shyly.
None heard.
"Yo! Everyone Stop!" Gozu barked.
That gained the attention they needed. Naruto forced a blush to his cheeks as he thanked Gozu before turning back. Tazuna was staring shocked but had sense not to say anything. Sakura just blinked while Kakashi actually gaped beneath his mask.
"Zabuza, Haku, I've decided not to kill Tazuna." Naruto said timidly.
"What about our pay?" Zabuza asked gruffly.
"I'll still pay you of course." Naruto said quickly.
Zabuza grunted and broke the blade lock he had with Kakashi, jumping back to Haku.
"Um, who are you?" Kakashi asked aloud.
Tazuna looked at him stunned, but Naruto knew he was acting.
"I'm Gato Narubi." Naruto said smiling shyly. "I'm Gato's wife."
Now Kakashi was not acting as he gaped dumbly at him, eye almost comically wide. Tazuna's jaw had dropped and he had actually dropped the sake bottle in his hand.
"G-Gato," Naruto choked out, bringing tears to his eyes, "Died two days ago from a fall down the stairs."
He wiped away tears furiously and choked back a sob.
"I-I've taken over his business and I've cancelled the orders on Tazuna's assassination. I don't want to fight anyone."
Zabuza snorted and strode over, before holding out a hand. Naruto pulled an envelope from his pocket quickly and bowed slightly handing it to him.
"Thank you for all your work."
Zabuza glanced at Gozu and Meizu.
"We're staying." Gozu said. "We've been hired as guards until she has everything under control."
Zabuza nodded and with a quick sign he and Haku were gone.
"Y…you said you don't want violence?" Tazuna stuttered, "What of the thugs then?"
"I've hired them on to work in the shipping business." Naruto said timidly. "And I've also paid some to help out with any damage caused by my l-late husband."
He choked back a sob at the word husband. Tazuna just stared.
-Plot Bunnies For Free To Good Home by Faust VII

"I'm not being difficult." Harry interrupted with a cheeky grin. "I was born difficult but, with just a little bit of effort, I'm impossible."
-Impossible by Geek Girl xoxo

After all, a man is represented by his actions and with a little bit of effort…
Harry Potter was impossible.
-Impossible by Geek Girl xoxo

Naruto, knowing how the others would most likely react to the sight, grabbed hold of the front of Kyouya's shirt and buried her face in his chest to muffle any laughter that may slip from her pinched-together lips, although her shoulders still shook with laughter. Kyouya wrapped his arms around her shaking shoulders and buried his own laughter-filled smile into her blonde spikes.
"You see? With the blindfold on, you can't see anything." Tamaki told Haruhi. "And the earplugs help muffle any sound."
"You're right." Haruhi said cheerily.
"You nasty pervert." Hikaru said.
Tamaki flinched and looked behind him at everyone standing there in the doorway in panic.
"What kind of foreplay is that?" Kaoru said.
Naruto could hold in a snort and it sounded a bit like a sob muffled into Kyouya's chest.
"I-It's not like that!" Tamaki said quickly.
"Now look, you've made Naruto cry!" The twins say making Naruto snort again making them think it was another sob.
"It's okay Naruto." Hikaru said carefully as he and Kaoru rubbed Naruto shaking back and arms. "We got here in time."
"That's right." Kaoru said. "She has all her close on and she's still oblivious so he obviously didn't get to deflower our still sweet and innocent Haruhi."
Naruto let go of the front of Kyouya's shirt and instantly wrapped her arms around his torso clutching the back of his shirt in her fingers to bury her "sobbing" face further into his chest. Kyouya had to hold in a laugh when this just made everyone glare harder at Tamaki.
"This isn't what it looks like!" Tamaki insisted. "IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!"
-The Host Club by storyteller911

So that was his long-awaited answer. And it was exactly what his father said – simple. But it seemed that short, simple answer was exactly what Naruto needed.
-Whiskers by Tanuki-gao

In the end all this episode achieved was when the client came in and saw the team he hired he was greeted with the Jounin-sensei on the ground gasping for air, a pink haired girl poking said sensei with a stick, a black haired boy asking just how painful a death would result from jumping from the Hokage's tower and, the cherry on top, a small blonde girl climbing over the village leader begging him to teach her how to 'awesomely kill people like that'.
"I shouldn't have used that discount coupon." Was all Tazuna, the Super Bridge Builder, could say.
-Vicious Calm by Catilleon

He had to beard a snake in its den. Tame a snake in the nest? Maybe charm a snake in its basket. Or something. Deciding to leave the writing to Hadrian, he mentally threw the snake analogies away. He was a Lion, after all.
Time to crack the whip.
-Schooled by WyrdSmith

The jounin stared at Naruto for at least thirty seconds before popping a cigarette in his own mouth and lighting it, keeping a cool façade despite the storm going on in his head, 'Okay Asuma calm down… so you have a gold-mine ninjutsu specialist prospect on your own team? Big deal, it's cool… no need to get all fired up and start raving about it. You'll swell the kid's head. We've got to test this clone thing out later.' Asuma had to fight the urge to begin frothing at the mouth and running back to Konoha to brag about what he had just found out about Naruto.
-Better Left Unsaid by Kenchi618

"Yes!" Asuma shouted at the top of his lungs, "Yes! I don't know which one of those two little bastards thought of that one but yes! Oh Kami yes!" He turned to Gai and stuck up his middle finger in his face, "That's what I think of your Eight Gates Gai! And that's what Shikamaru and Naruto think too!" He started walking around his aisle with his hands up in the air in victory as if a giant had just been slain with a slingshot, "Kami I love my team!"
-Better Left Unsaid by Kenchi618

"I'm finished chopping the meat Tsunami-san. Would you like me to put it in the pot right now?" Naruto asked with a gentle smile.
"Yes please. Oh, what a sweet child you are Naruto-kun. I'm so glad that you and Inari are getting along now, especially after what happened last night." The lady smiled back.
"All we had was a talk that wiped away any kind of misunderstanding, so it's fine now. Right Inari?" Naruto asked the young boy next to him.
"Right nii-san!"
All three of them laughed delightfully. Behind them, at the table, Tazuna, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi were staring at the picture with a look of shock on their faces.
"I'm dreaming. I'm still in bed right now." Kakashi mumbled under his breath repeatedly.
"Is it an imposter?" Sakura asked.
"He's corrupting my family!" Tazuna yelled.
Everything stopped and everyone turned to Tazuna. Tsunami had her hands on her hips and a glare on her face. Inari was also glaring at his grandfather.
They all heard a sniffle and saw Naruto wiping the corner of his eye.
"I know we had a rocky start Tazuna-san, but I didn't think that you disliked me that much." He whimpered.
The rest of Team 7 and Tazuna were twitching.
"What happened to 'Madao II'? That's what you called me isn't it?"
Naruto flinched back if struck. Tsunami and Inari had enough and marched up to the only living adult male in their family and gave him a piece of their mind.
"How could you say that about Naruto-kun? He's a sweet boy and a good role model for Inari!" Tsunami scolded and smacked her father across the arm.
"But he's lying to you!"
"Don't say bad things about Naru-niisan!" Inari cried and kicked his grandfather on the shin.
Tazuna howled in pain and looked behind his daughter's and grandchild's shoulders to see Naruto leaning against the kitchen counter. He was twirling a knife in his hands with a smirk on his lips and an evil look in his eyes. The eyes were speaking to him. "One more word and your dick is mine!"
Tazuna paled and fainted away. Tsunami cried in shock. She turned around to Naruto, who had a smile on his face and his hands behind his back.
-To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic by Niwasae

Naruto ignored the lecture Ibiki was giving on spying and torture and concentrated on decorating his paper when he heard Kabuto calling his name. He looked at the boy who pointed to the front. Ibiki was staring at him and waiting for an answer to his question."Everyone will become one with Russia."
Ibiki twitched while everyone in the room stared at the blond and face-faulted.
'What the FUCK?' was the collective thought.
-To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic by Niwasae

"YOU'RE GAY?" Jiraiya yelled.
"Ah, speaking of which, I chose my future hubby," Naruto said and turned to Sasuke with his fox-smile. "I look forward to living with you…nii-chan."
Sasuke's eyes widened as he started to hyperventilate.
"Sasuke? Sasuke!" Kakashi yelled as he helped the young Uchiha sit on the floor. He gave him a paper bag and told him to breathe.
'I that this would happen, but knowing is one thing! To actually hear it confirmed is another story! Oh Kami, he's going to be related to me! Shit, he's gong to marry my brother!' Sasuke thought furiously as he clenched the paper bag in one hand. He did the one thing that anyone in his situation would do. He snapped.
"Calm down Sasuke!" Kakashi yelled while Naruto started chuckling.
In the end, Sasuke was sedated and taken to the hospital with Kakashi to watch over him
-To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic by Niwasae

Gaara stretched and preformed his katas before coming to a stop when his teacher approached him.
"The Uchiha is in the hospital." Baki sighed.
"Really, why?" Kankuro asked.
"I was hoping that you would know." Baki said staring at his redheaded student.
"It wasn't me." Gaara stated and proceeded to ignore his teacher.
It will bet you everything that it was the blond devil.
Uzumaki Naruto…I'm scared kaa-san. Whenever I'm around him, I feel like hiding in my Suna kekkai.
…considering who we're talking about, what you are feeling is normal and to be expected. Shukaku sighed.
But there are times, when I want to stay in his embrace. It is…comforting.
That is natural for someone like you, who has never been touched without harmful intention. Shukaku nodded from within his vessel.
Kaa-san, what is my relationship with Uzumaki Naruto?
Shukaku frowned before tapping his chin with one clawed finger.
A family relationship, he sees you as his 'baby' like he does with that Haku boy.
The one who had the Uchiha's sent all over him.
…so, he is my parent?
More like psycho Uncle…maybe you should talk to him about this instead. Shukaku suggested.
… wish for me to speak with Uzumaki Naruto?
I guess you have a point. But if you want to know, it's better if you ask him. Besides, we know that he won't hurt you.
Hai, I will speak with Uzumaki Naruto.
Great. Shukaku stated.
Gaara didn't move.
Shukaku cleared his throat and tapped his arm with a clawed hand. His tail twitched with nervous energy.
Well? He demanded.
I will visit him later.
That's great too. Just take your time. There's no need to rush this.
-To be Blunt, Sarcastic, and Psychotic by Niwasae

Then suddenly Itachi wasn't Sexy McSexenheimer anymore. Sakura suddenly found herself able to look the shinobi in the face without resisting the urge to pin him to a wall or something. Even Inner Sakura was surprised. The ANBU cleared his throat, adjusting his collar. "That my dear gentlemen," he said and upon noticing Sakura quickly added "and lady, was called Bishounen no jutsu(Pretty Boy Technique). Try and keep up will you? And have a nurse dispose of the examiner."
The ANBU plopped down on a couch, reading a magazine. Naruto looked from him to Kakashi. "I know," the cycloptic jounin said. "He confuses me to" Anko remained unconscious. Which was probably for the best.
-Cold Blue Metal by zero0000

Naruto walked into the living room, towel draped over his shoulders, and hair wet.
Looking up from the medical scroll she'd been reading, Tsunade spotted Naruto and his appearance visibly surprised her. "What are you doing brat?" she asked evenly. "If you just take a shower to get clean, don't wear the dirty clothes from before. It's common sense..."
Naruto looked down at his plain, white, 'geeky' outfit. "Well… I just got it today right? It's not really dirty, so…" Naruto paused, "so I'll just wear it again. I-It's not really that geeky anyway, I guess…"
Tsunade didn't know what to say. "Yeah? Well good" she seemed somehow uncomfortable. "T-Though thinking about it, a brat like you loves to wear holes in your clothes. We should probably… go shopping again tomorrow… or something…" she mumbled. "Maybe even grab… one or two orange things…"
"Orange?" Naruto asked.
"Well… if it's one or two…"
"Orange!" Naruto repeated, energetically.
"Now hold on brat!" Tsunade yelled. "One or two, I said!"
Was that it? Shizune mused. Did they want to just say "I'm sorry, you actually have a point"? She chuckled, what was she thinking? Sometimes, those words were the hardest to say. Either way, as long as those two reconciled already, then everything would be all right.
"ORANGE!" Naruto screamed with his arms raised gloriously to the ceiling: either just because he was actually that excited, or he simply wanted to piss his mother off more.
"One or two!" Tsunade demanded. "One or two, I say!" Damnit, she would be heard! "Don't you dare get carried away!"
-Tsunade's Heir by funkmasterjo

As for Jiraiya, he was just grateful for his many years of skill and experience, which helped him keep his expression unchanged during the whole thing.
It had clicked. And the conclusion was as astounding as it was terrifying.
I'm surrounded by Kitsune.
Being one of Konoha's foremost experts in matters youkai, second only to Sarutobi Hiruzen in knowledge but unmatched in actual experience (save by maybe Orochimaru), he knew the small little things that helped distinguish a disguised supernatural creature. Their speech patterns, unique little quirks, behavioral points that clashed with their apparent ages…and the ramen thing, of course. That just screamed Kitsune.
He needed to watch a little bit more; to get an idea of what he was dealing with. Then he had to run and warn the Third.
-Naruto Genkyouien by Daneel Rush

Baki had been up worrying what to put in his report back home. Gaara had been acting more strangely than usual. Gaara usually hid his more random hobbies from just about everyone, but now he was bringing them out in the open, and that was becoming rather worrisome.
As he was setting brush to scroll, in order to ask Chiyo for advice since she was Suna's Jinchuriki expert, he heard the front door of their lodgings slam open, and just as quickly slam closed.
"Lock the door, lock the door, lock the door!" Gaara's new friend yelled desperately.
There was a click as the bolt slid home, and both Gaara and his friend let out sighs of relief as the doorknob rattled furiously. Then he heard the sound of a kunai pounding against wood.
"Holy shit! She's trying to cut her way through!" Gaara's friend yelled.
"Your teammate is very scary." Gaara said.
"You said it!" the other boy yelled.
Baki ran and hid. It was a prudent thing to do considering the fact that someone that Gaara found frightening was trying to get into their lodgings. From the sound of it, the girl was trying to cut her way through the three inch thick wooden door with a kunai, and he had a feeling that she might succeed.
-Time MixUp by Lucillia

Kakashi squealed, inwardly of course, at the similarities the two had. He couldn't wait until Gai saw his prize student—screw teaching Uchiha the Sharingan! He was too moody for him anyways…but Naruto, Naruto!
"We're going to have to get you new clothes." He repeated, albeit more politely, "I can't train you in that…" he said, thinking about his clone to-be.
"Train?" Naruto blandly said, surprised, "Huh? Oh, yeah; sure," He said, shock still numbing his response.
"Of course, you might have to dye your hair too…"
'…maybe that wasn't such a good idea,' Naruto distractedly thought, jumping from building to building to follow his silver-haired sensei to the clothing store.
"…now, I believe we'll start with the 'Chidori'. It's my only original move, but the strongest of course."
"I was going to focus on teaching Sasuke to tell you the truth, but, personally, I'd rather teach you…"
Or maybe it was worth it...'Look out Sasuke! I'm getting more training than you!' The blond mentally boasted, though outwardly-
"…did you say something?"
-Upon the Merits of Mocking by theinsane

As much as Severus hated the mere idea of awarding points to Potter's blasted spawn, he had also learned that it was a remarkably easy and effective way to gain Slytherin house mountains of points. They were already hugely in the lead, and no one could accuse Severus of unfair favoritism. In fact, he'd developed a lovely system of asking Weasley, or Longbottom a question first, knowing full well that they had no idea what the answer was, and when they failed to answer it, he would pose the same question to Potter, who would get it right, and then proceed further along the same line, asking more and more questions, of increasing difficulty, until he'd gotten nearly fifty points for his was quite satisfying, honestly, and it turned Weasley's face the most horrid shade of red.Oddly enough, Potter did not seem to revel in the attention, or even take any pride in it. He never attempted to show off, as Severus had expected the boy to. As his father would have done. Instead he was always subdued, and often times bored. But Severus had noticed an amused glint in Potter's eyes after the third time Severus had followed the same pattern in class with his questions to the Gryffindors and then to appeared that Potter knew exactly what he was doing, and found it somewhat funny.-Again and Again by Athey

What happened to them could be called no less tragic than any other seven, but this time, who was watching? Who remembered to watch?
And that was the mistake.
-The Legacy That Is Team Seven by Skeren Dreamera

Team 7 stood in front of Hokage, ready to take their mission."How did it go Naruto-kun?" asked Sarutobi Hiruzen, the sandaime Hokage with a grin, he is curious to their answer. He knew of course that Kakashi was late to visit the memorial stone."Kakashi-sensei served Konoha like a true shinobi..." Naruto stated, still in shock. Sakura and Sasuke nodded, agreeing.The Hokage and Kakashi blinked.-Why He is Always Late by DiLost

"Excuse me, but that person looks mighty like the history books, not that I ever looked at those, of course," a most annoying, and most unexpected voice carried over the rooftop over to the men who were facing off. "Am I supposed to be here? I feel like I just interrupted an entire chapter's worth of drama and seriousness."
Sarutobi, Orochimaru, and the hokages whipped around to see a little blonde genin with whisker marks on his cheeks stroking his imaginary beard. Despite the dire situation, they couldn't help but sweatdrop at the sight.
Sarutobi felt his jaw slacken. "..No Naruto. You're not supposed to be here."
Naruto rubbed the back of his head and laughed. "OOOOopsies!"
-Team Badass by Hulkishpower

Kakashi rubbed at his uncovered eye to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Because though all three nins were well covered and likely would have been unrecognizable by anyone who didn't know them as well as he did, Kakashi knew exactly who they were.
The why and how of his kids managing to infiltrate the Hokage's office was put on hold as he allowed himself a brief moment of pride mixed with incredulity. Because the brats had managed to break in a full three years younger than he'd himself managed. And with a number of years less training. Then he decided this could only reflect well on his abilities as a Jounin-sensei, so their breaking his record was perfectly acceptable.
Then a shiver ran down his spine at another thought. For if this was what they got up to when he'd only been 'gone' for three days, might the Kami forbid he ever be sent on an extended mission or he'd likely come back only to find they'd taken over the village in his absence.
Then again, if they did, at least the Third would stop trying to talk to him about succession plans…
-Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin by May Wren

Instantly, Sasuke rushed up to him.
"So how was it?" The dark haired boy questioned, "Did the Daimyo believe our suspicions? Who was made the Rokudaime?"
"It's me." Naruto said dazedly.
"What's you?" Sasuke asked, confused.
"I became Hokage."
"Oh, so it's like tha—wait, what?"
"I became Hokage," Naruto muttered, staggering forwards. Then, the words finally, finally seemed to hit him. Blue eyes brightened, shiny as the stars. Naruto leapt into the air, yelling as loudly as his voice would let him, "I BECAME HOKAGE! YATTA!"
-Like a Clockwork by Obsessive Child

"Sure," Kakashi agreed easily. So as Naruto pulled out his giant scroll filled with inscrutably obscure notes, Kakashi sat down for some calculations of his own. As he wrote out all of the information he had on the spring thaw, he noted Sasuke idly sharpening and cleaning his kunai and shuriken and Sakura… hovering over his shoulder.
"Carry the three, Kakashi-sensei," she said patiently. He looked down at his equation and realized she was right. A few seconds later, she spoke up again.
"You forgot an 'X' Kaka-sensei," she corrected him. Kakashi grit his teeth and added the 'X' where she'd pointed—after looking back over his work for a few moments and seeing she was right. Again.
"Kaka-sensei, you need to factor it to…"
Kakashi tossed the scroll at her and plopped down next to Sasuke.
"So," he said. "You come up with a way to make me feel inadequate and completely superfluous today, too?"
"Well," Sasuke said, never looking away from his kunai. "I could show you my two Sharingan eyes if you really want."
Then Sasuke was falling ass over teakettle into a stack of sandbags, and Kakashi was stretching out like a cat on top of the large pile, Icha Icha Paradise in hand as he proceeded to ignore his entire team.
-Naruto: Myoushuu no Fuuin by May Wren

Both boys stared open-mouthed at her continued explanations; her moves did indeed make up shapes where she had placed the stones, but… but…
How could anyone be that lucky?
Unless she was lying…
They watched her face scrunch up in thought as she tried to remember another shape she'd made.
… no.
-The secret life of Uzumaki Naruto by Luno Konick

"...and I can't express with words how happy I am to be back home in my village," the Fourth concluded, smiling down at his audience from the dias at the Kage Tower. "And as presumptuous (sp) as this may sound, I do have a small favor to ask of Konoha." The villagers roared their approval; the Genin, however, who'd been briefed before-hand on Naruto's lineage, sensed what was going to be said and smirked at once another. "I'll have to ask you to treat my son with a bit more respect." Dead silence met this pronouncement; son? "Ahh, perhaps you don't know him--Uzumaki Naruto? Yes, well, I just thought I'd make clear...that if any of you lay a hand on him again," Konoha's Yellow Flash continued very, very cheerfully, "I'll kill you with less effort than it takes me to jump from this dais."
The Leaf villagers were silent; the Kyuubi no gaki...the one who'd 'taken their leader's life'...the one they'd...mistreated...was the Fourth's...son?
-October Tenth by Taisi

"Ano… Jiji, I have a question…"
The adults in the room seemed slightly taken aback at Naruto's informal address of the most powerful man in the village, but quickly composed themselves, probably writing it off to the boy's youth.
"Yes, what is it Arashi-kun? Please make it quick, I have a lot of paperwork to do."
"Um… I don't mean to be rude but… When do I get to meet the real you?"
The Sandaime seemed surprised at the question, "The… real me?"
The boy nodded quickly, "Yeah. I mean… you're just a Kage Bunshin, right?"
"I'm not a Kage Bunshin. What gave you that idea?"
The boy seemed slightly uncertain, but continued talking, "It's just that… if I had to do that much paperwork," he said, gesturing at the hydra infestation atop the Hokage's desk, "There's no way I would do it on my own. I'd just pop out a bunch of Kage Bunshin to do it for me."
The Sandaime froze for a second, before looking up, "Arashi-kun, please repeat that last statement."
"If I had to do that much paperwork," Naruto repeated slowly, "I'd just pop out a bunch of Kage Bunshin and make them do it for me."
The Sandaime looked down for a second, expression hidden, before looking up again, a kind, grandfatherly look on his face.
"Arashi-kun, Minato-kun, Tsunade-chan. You may leave now. Inu, Neko, Kuma. Please make sure that I have some privacy for the next hour or so." Sarutobi said with a smile that was just slightly too wide to be considered sane.
-The Brothers Namikaze by AQZT

This single sentence would send a family panicking for all the wrong reasons. Result in a furious Headmaster. Relieve one lone wolf. Set a hidden world into outrage. Result in one annoyed teenage boy. Cause five former Gundam pilots to worry excessively. And start the single most complicated game of hide and seek.
-Breaking Free by haloween

Everyone met up in the house for lunch. Sakura looked exhausted which was explained when Tazuna told them about her physical training. Kakashi was glad to hear that she had only taken one five minute break every hour. The boys also seemed tired but both were happy to say that they made it to the top of their trees with the extra forty pounds Kakashi had given them. He noticed that both boys seemed more comfortable around each other now.
He was even more shocked when Naruto decided that the table had gotten too quiet and decided to say fan girls. For a moment everyone just looked up in confusion except Sasuke who stared resolutely at his food. That is until the stoic façade finally slipped and he began to snicker. The snicker turned into a chuckle and soon both boys were laughing.
Needless to say Sakura was shocked. She and Ino, along with every other girl in the academy had been trying for years to break through his cold exterior. Here Naruto had managed to do it in one morning. Kakashi was making a mental note that sticking those two together for training yielded remarkable results.
-Human Contact by yooso

It was one of those peaceful times, when there were no troubles – at least not in a catastrophic sense, like immediate travelling into the future or past, dealing with evil doppelgangers, overpowered aliens and the like.
Truly the mafia business was looking more and more like some kind of a secret superhero mission, just on the wrong side of the law. If the world had known they saved this pathetic mud ball of the planet from certain oblivion a number of times –
They shuddered to think about the consequences.
-Be Tamed To Be Wild » by Kaikun-Ichichan-4-Ever

He quickly opened his eyes and immediately regretted it as the world was still spinning. Giving his head a small shake, he tried concentrating on his surroundings and started identifying shapes and colours. Quite near his location, he could see the small, white, Italian house with walls he had just spontaneously destroyed.
Also to his utmost horror he realised that there was still someone behind him.
It seemed that a person had been standing in front of Tsuna's flight path and had had no time to duck.
Warily Tsuna began turning his head, taking awkward notice of how he had fallen in the poor guy's lap. He wore expensive looking shoes and black pants.
It was a bit painful to turn his head to see the man's face properly. This mystery person was still supporting Tsuna from his shoulders, thus Tsuna had some difficulty in turning, he however noticed that the man was wearing a black pinstriped coat and a large looking, black… cape.
Warning bells started ringing in Tsuna's head as he froze and let his gaze stay on the man's left elbow, not daring to continue investigating.
This person's clothes looked familiar. Really, really, familiar.
In fact, he already had a pretty good idea of who the person was, and judging by the unfamiliar voices that were whispering something in the background, and a very strong feeling that there were many people staring at him. This person wasn't here alone.
Gulping loudly, he gathered up all his bravado, and hoping very hard that this person wasn't who he thought he was, lifted his head and stared right into the orange eyes of a Vongola Primo.
It was a great show of self restraint that Tsuna didn't curse aloud.
-Messing around with time again by zigolo

Only after a couple of seconds did Tsuna realise that they were waiting for him to say something. It was kind of stupid of him not to realise it sooner, after all when someone greets you it's customary to greet back.
Happy that he had made little sense of this situation, he took a quick calming breath. Okay. Alright. This was nothing. He was pretty fluent in Italian. Such a simple thing as greeting was nothing. No need to stress over the fact that people he was going to greet were very much dead in his time. AHAHAHA... No problem at all.
Now very much aware that his brain had completely deserted him, he raised his head and determinedly opened his mouth.
"Ciaossu."Wait. That didn't come out right.
The look on Primo's face had changed into bemused amusement and he too opened his mouth, perhaps to inquire what the hell Ciaossu meant.
-Messing around with time again by zigolo

Nnoitra watched in slight horror as the toy snapped in the little boy's hands.
When he'd first walked in, there was an air of happiness and suger. But as soon as he finished his last sentence, the boy seemed to turn into Al Cepone. The only difference- this boy was a s* load scarier.
Suddenly, it became a lot more obvious this boy was Gin's son.
-Welcome To The Family, Shiro chan! by The Winged Lady

Contrary to popular belief the Yondamine Hokage wasn't a better seal master than Chiyo of Suna.
When Jiraiya will ask to see Gaara's seal he will find nothing wrong with it and wonder why Gaara was tortured so much in his sleep and Naruto wasn't.
Naruto, who will overhear the conversation, will give the gathered ninja such an odd look for the longest time before inviting the Kazekage to spar out in the dunes.
Jiraiya will wonder but never find the courage to ask Naruto what he sees in his dreams.
-Five Reasons by nyet khan

Human imagination created the gods. Human imagination gave them power. The Ancients fear human imagination the most.
-Belief by Sheera Azm

Ace's bounty goes up a whole 10,000 beli and the Spade Pirates all agree to watch their alcohol intake around their captain. A fire man, drunken teasing, and a bar full of flammable liquids don't exactly mix well.
The explosion did destroy half the town after all. And Ace still had the audacity to bow towards the flaming wreckage and say, "Thanks for the meal!" before leaving.
-Ink by VickyVicarious

"Eh? The Revolutionary Dragon? No way! What's next? His grandfather being Garp the Fist?" Haruta exclaims.
"Actually..." Ace starts, making everyone, excluding Pops and Marco, stare at Ace in disbelief.
"No way. Your guys' grandfather is Vice Admiral Garp?" Haruta exclaims once more, her eyes so wide they look like they're about to fall out of her skull.
"Why else do you think Ace would hide every time his ship appeared?" Marco points out.
"I wasn't hiding! I just didn't want to deal with him!" Ace shouts with a blush of embarrassment.
"Oh. So you've been hiding from me this entire time?" says a voice behind Ace, making him freeze and go pale for a moment before spinning around to stare at his grinning grandfather.
"J-jii-jii!" Ace stutters, backing away.
"Calling me old man and backing away? That's no way to greet your grandfather!" Garp yells as he yanks Ace forward by his necklace and gives him a Fist of Love. Ace screams in pain and falls to the ground, then crawls away from the marine hero and attaches himself to the leg of the person nearest to him: Marco.
"You stupid old man! Who in their right mind would call you "grandpa" when all you do is abuse and try to kill them?" Ace shouts while clinging to Marco's pant leg.
"A Fist of Love is not abuse and I never tried to kill you. When I tossed you into the ocean-"
"When I couldn't swim!"
"-To fight the local seaking and threw you into the Beast of Mt. Corvo's lair for an entire day, it was all to turn you into a strong Marine!"
While Ace and Garp continue to argue, the present Whitebeard pirates are frozen in their battle
positions, faces paling as they imagine what horrors Ace must have gone through growing up
-Change of Plans by icefox94

This taught the Guardians to never incur the wrath of their cake-high bosses. It was like dealing with rabid unicorns that had acquired laser beams.
-Too Much Cake is Bad, Mkay? by Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

His father gave him the blood in his veins. His mother gave him a life to live. But, Luffy gave him a reason to live it.
- Inevitable by dragongirl5k5

Monkey D. Luffy is the man who will be Pirate King.
-Fit to be Captain by Don'tletthewingsfoolyou

"Hidan, shut up," Yuurei orders, and apparently, Hidan at least has enough self-preservation instincts to do so when Yuurei says it because he shuts up obediently even though a smirk still plays on his lips. "My apologies, ba- Tsunade-sama."
Tsuande gives him a dirty look, and this time, Naruto does laugh. "You were about to call me 'baa-chan', weren't you?"
Yuurei doesn't say anything, only blinking back with I'm-going-to-pretend-I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about-even-though-I-clearly-do innocence.
Tsunade rolls her eyes and looks between Naruto and Yuurei with reluctantly amused exasperation. "Two peas in a pod, you two are."
Naruto grins broadly while an odd smile flickers over Yuurei's face.
-Ghost by cywscross

Lucifer had thrown down the gauntlet, and they were going to teach him a lesson. They were going to teach all of them a lesson about what family means.
The Tricksters were going to war.
-The Gauntlet by PurpleMoon3

A slight, accidental twist of his wrist opened the head of the weapon and sent a tiny dart flying out, and Potter just managed to tilt his head to avoid it before it embedded itself into the wall behind him. Ice instantly spread outward in the shape of a large claw and extended about a foot on all sides before stopping.
Kyouya stared, and then turned back to Potter with a look of mild disbelief. The man was beaming at him as if Kyouya had made Christmas come early.
"Do you like it?" Potter asked almost eagerly. "The mechanics are a trade secret but after sparring with you last time, I got to making these since I had time on my hands and nothing else to do. The darts won't run out and ice isn't the only thing they produce, though I'll let you figure them out."
Kyouya wasn't sure whether to thank him or check him in to the nearest mental hospital. What kind of person would give a teenager – so he was a teenager who knew how to fight; still – deadly weapons?
-Raison d'Être by cywscross

There was something dripping down his arm in thick streams. Swallowing hard, he slowly looked over and instead of the lovely Kit-Kat bar he'd wanted…fuck. Not even daring to drop it, Gabriel got up and gingerly set the severed limb in the sink and called, "Hey, Dean! Are you missing a vital body part by any chance?"
The sound of a gun cocking was unmistakable but the angry Winchester, no matter how seasoned a hunter he was, took one look at the arm and gagged. "Holy shit. What the hell did you do?"
-If I Die before I Wake by HopeSproutsWings

"What, exactly, did you do to him?" Snape asked warily."Well, he was pretty much unconscious and totally defenseless after performing the ritual to attach himself to his new body when I got there. I just took advantage of his weakened state to secure him to a ritual surface, hide his wand, stun his snake and Quirrell, allow him to wake up just long enough to explain a few things in between him screaming at me, knock him back out, and then perform a ritual on him against his will."Snape's face was even more pale than usual and his eyes were wide with horror. He blinked several times before dipping his head slightly and bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "And you're still alive after all this?" Snape muttered.-Again and Again by athey

"Lady Morgana daughter of Uther, I am Lord Merlin Emrys last of the dragon lords and the prophesized protector of the Once and Future King. I am the most powerfull Warlock that ever or will ever live and my one goal, the one thing i will work for till the day i die is to make sure Arthur becomes the Greatest King the likes of which this world has never seen before."
Morgana by now lost whatever color remained in her face, she hadn't won, she could never win.
Fear coursed through her system as merlin tall and skinyy and weak looking Merlin,
Merlin the warlock of lagend stalked towards her with fury in his heart.
A few peces away he stopped and in that moment the world froze as he whisperd.
"Lady Morgana with all my heart and power i want to help Arthur unite the Land of Albion.
With all i am i want to help him usher in an age of peace that will last for generations."
"And Lady're standing in my way."
No word, fear or terror, no word could ever describe the felling that flooded the fallen Lady at that precise moment.
-Her weakness, His Advantage by SummerQill

I'll tell you a story of a hero who wasn't really a hero at all.
A story of a boy who grew up a little too fast and accepted what life threw at him time and time again,
fought beacuse it was the only way to protect his friends and family, and fought even for those who didn't truly care about him,
at first because he didn't know any better, and then later because he had no real choice in the matter."
-Raison d'Être By: cywscross


I Have A Few Questions . . .
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do stairs go up or down?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
When French people swear do they say “Pardon my English?”
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
If a person with Multiple Personality Disorder threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change
their name to Knockers?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Can mute people burp?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?
How come popcorn isn't a vegetable?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?
Why is snow white and ice clear? Aren't they just different forms of water?
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?
Since a running back runs forward, why is he called a running back?
If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?
Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to
hit in case of an accident
364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that ?
Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?
Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?
How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?


Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"


I don't care if you're gay or straight, everybody needs love.
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
I don't care if you're ugly or pretty, everybody has flaws.
I don't care if you're black or white, everybody has the same capabilities.
I don't care if you're weird, everybody needs to change.
I don't care if you're rich or poor, everybody needs warmth.
I don't care if you're different, everybody is.


Everywhere we go
Everywhere we go
People wanna know
People wanna know
Who we are
Who we are
So we kill them
So we kill them
We’re Akatsuki
We’re Akatsuki
The Mighty Akatsuki
The Mighty Akatsuki


You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
You say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You say Robert Pattion is hot
I say Rupert Grint is AMAZING!
You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?
I think that's Ron and Hermione
You say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY!


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.


I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid and stuck up.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.


I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.


I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I read comics, so I MUST be a loser

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.


I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be encourage abortion.


I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.


I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.


I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.


I'm HOMESCHOOLED, so I MUST have no life or friends.

I'm on a TEAM, so I MUST hate everyone that's not.


My Faith:Jesus
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He still lives today...
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you beleive and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."


FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia),Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Immortalis Cruor Elf (USA)




You drink a lot of tea.

You know what a brolly is.

Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.

You wanted Alex to win X Factor.

You use the word "bugger"or the phrase "bloody hell."

Fish and Chips are yummy

You can eat a Full English Breakfast.

You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.

Its football.. not ... soccer.

Total: 3


You wear flip flops all year

You call flip flops thongs not flip flops

You love a backyard barbie.

You know a barbie is not a doll.

You love the beach.

Sometimes you swear without realizing.

You're a sports fanatic.

You are tanned.

You're a bit of a bogan.

You have an australian something

Total: 3


The Sopranos is a great show.

Your last name ends in a vowel.

Your grandmother or mother makes her own sauces.

You know how a real meatball tastes.

You know Italian songs.

You have darkish hair.

You speak SOME Italian.

You are under 5'10''.

Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.

You talk with your hands

Total: 4


You say member instead of remember.

You speak Spanish

You like tacos.

You know what a Puta is

You talk fast.

You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.

You know what platanos are.

You've said Te Amo or Te Quiero

Total: 2


You say villain as: Vee-lon.

You have more than one vodka bottle in your house

You know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi

You know of somebody named Natasha.

You don't get cold easily.

You get into contests all the time.

You can make do with the cold weather.

You love listening to trance

Total: 2


Your parents let you drink

You know what a pizda is

You have Pierogi at least once a week

People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if your Polish

People randomly call you their best friend (and vice versa)

You have made/know what pisanki are

You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup

Total: 1


You think beer is the best.

You have a bad temper.

Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an,en, in, ry, ly.

You have blue or green eyes.

You like the color green.

You have been to a St. Paddys day party.

You have a family member from Ireland.

You have/had freckles.

Your family get togethers always include drinking.

You have an odd love of leprechauns

You have four leaf clovers

Total: 10


You have slanty/small eyes.

You eat rice a lot.

You are good at math.

You have played the piano.

You have family from Asia.

You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.

Most people think you're Chinese.

You have glasses/contacts.

You call hurricanes typhoons.

You go to Baulko.

You play Handball more than once a week

You know what DDR is

Total: 5


You like bread.

You think American Chocolate is good.

You Speak some German.

You know what Schnitzel is.

You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.

You went to Pre-school.

You're over 5'10".

You know the real meaning of "Fag".

You make pretty words sound scary.

You enjoy watching the military.

You know that GUMMY BEARS were invented in Germany.

Total: 5


You like to ride 4 wheelers.

You love beer.

You say eh.(in a different way)

You know what poutine is.

You speak french(some)

You love Tim Horton's.

At one point you lived in a farm house.

You watch/watched Degrassi.

You play/ played hockey or watch it.

You know who Massari is.

Total: 0


You like french toast.

You love wine.

You speak a little or are fluent in French.

You have eaten a snail.

You like fashion.

You have been to France

You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.

You say "Zut" instead of damn

You own a beret.

You actually know what a beret is.



You hate foreigners.

You hate non - Christians.

You've been to more then 5 states.

You're lazy.

You are not cultured.

You don't read.

You shop at walmart.

You spell colour "color".

Total: 3


You're very loud.

Your family alone makes a small city.

You blast music Saturday morning to clean the house.

You share a bathroom with 5 people.

You say "open the light" instead of "turn on the light".

You go to church every Sunday.

You always have a "to go plate" when leaving from a party.

You have a last name that's hard to pronounce.

You eat potatoes with the skin ON it.

Total: 2

Brown (Indian, Guyanese, etc)

You know who Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik Roshan are.

You get crazy over Hollywood actors and actresses!

You know what the movie Dhoom 2 is.

You can eat really good spicy food!

You have lots and LOTS of spices at your home.

You came or live in Toronto and have been to Gerrard St.

You have any sort of ATN channel.

You know what koothi, kootha, or banchod is.

You love eating Tandoori Chicken.

You have relatives you've never even heard of.

Total: 1


You are smart in math or science

Your mom or dad are either doctors or engineers.

All you eat is kabab and kofta

Your parents have one car that's a Toyota

Your house actually does not smell like food.

You have like 67890 middle name.

Total: 1


You have been to a pow wow

You have a native name

You are more than a quarter native

You know what tribe your ancestors were in

You have painted your face like a warrior

You have been to a native exhibit out of school

You play/played lacrosse

You have eaten salmon

total: 2


You can tell the difference between a Scottish & Irish accent

one of your family members has an accent

you actually don't mind bagpipes

Scottish recipes are in your household somewhere

you've heard the song "Scotland the brave"

no matter what, there will ALWAYS be whiskey at family gatherings

any team playing England is your best friend

you have tried haggis

you drink tap water

you know Edinburgh is pronounce "Edin-buura"

total: 2

New Zealand

you get annoyed that people only remember your country because of how many sheep are there

you know what a barbie is

you hate aussies

you know what an 'aussie' is

you know that NZ is famous only because of lord of the rings

you like chocolate fish /or pineapple lumps

you know what L&P is and you like it!




You like being in charge.
You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.
You were voted Class President.
You do what’s best for everyone.
You think you have what it takes to run for President.
You think every problem has a solution.
You love showing off.
You like plane rides
You are hydrophobiac



You feel at home in the water.
Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.
You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.
You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.
You visit the local pool on a regular basis.
You swim professionally.
You hate seafood.
You never get seasick.
You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.
You are acrophobiac



You’re not that much of a people person.
You like staying in the dark and writing poems.
You experience bad moods on a regular basis.
You like listening to loud, angry music.
You spend most of your time alone.
You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.
You like to keep to yourself.
All your closets are padlocked.
You write in diary/journal.
You feel most active at night.



You own a garden.
You like the great outdoors.
You have a green thumb.
You’re an environmentalist.
You have a special connection with animals.
You’re a vegetarian.
You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.
You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.
You love going to flower shops.
You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.



You often start fights.
You’re a very aggressive type of person.
You like watching wrestling.
You’re competitive.
You like reading about war.
You don’t take crap from anybody.
You have anger management.
You never back away from a fight.
Everyone does what you say.
You don’t always think before you do something.



You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.
Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.
You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.
You’re the valedictorian in your class.
You’ve never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card.
You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.
You think it would be better if you were the President.
You have a huge shelf of books at home.
You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.



You’re very creative and artistic.
You like listening to all kinds of music in general.
You always feel sunny and optimistic.
You are talented at drawing.
You like writing poetry.
You can play at least 3 musical instruments.
You like going to art museums.
You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.
You have straight As in Art on your report card.
Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.



You dislike boys in general.
A deer is one of your favorite animals
You can shoot targets
You like silver.
You like the moon better than the sun
Zoe Nightshade is awesome
You love wild animals
You spend most of your time outdoors.
You love to move around the place
Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters.



You have a way with tools.
You build awesome things during your free time.
You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.
Metalworking is your forte.
You have your own toolbox.
You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.
You’re a techie.
You often have carpentry projects.
You dream of being a carpenter.
You aren’t afraid of fire.



Every guy/girl swoons for you.
You like putting on makeup.
You naturally smell good.

You never experience a bad hair day.
Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.
You’re always at the front of every trend.
You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.
You’re often invited to parties.
Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”
You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis.



You like pickpocketing your friends.
You’re a prankster.
You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.
You’re the best speaker in the class.
You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.
You’re inventive and resourceful.
You often start arguments.
You’ve never lost a debate.
You like making witty and sarcastic statements.



You’re the life of the party.
You like wine.
You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.
You can finish a martini in less than a minute.
You have a happy, cheerful disposition.
You’re a foodie.
You like going to social events and mingling with people.
You like trying out new food.
You feel that you’re abundant in life.
You think that too much of anything is bad.



It's not a comic book, it's "Manga"
It's not a cartoon, it's "Anime"
It's not homosexual, it's "Yaoi"
It's not lesbian, it's "Yuri"
It's not erotic, it's "Ecchi"
It's not pedophile, it's "Lolicon"
It's not gay, it's "Shonen-ai"
It's not slutty, it's "Fan Service"
It's not a costume, it's "Cosplay"
It's not a dating show, it's a "Harem"
It's not a fetish, it's "Moe"
It's not a bipolar girl, it's "Tsundere"
It's not a drawing, it's "Doujinshi"
It's not schizophrenic girl, it's "Yandere"
It's not Chinese, it's "Japanese"
It's not Chinese animation, it's "Japanimation"
And most Importantly... I'm not a geek, I'm an "Otaku."
If you are a Proud Otaku, like me, copy this and post it on your wall.


I Have...

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people the blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside (with a dark blue bra!)
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on.
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class



[ ] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[X ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[X ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[X ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[ ] death
[ ] heaven
[X ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[X ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[X ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] being alone
[ ] becoming blind
] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up
[X] creepy noises in the night
[ ] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets


Tony Stark/ Iron Man:

[ ] You like booze

[ ] You are the life of the party

[X] You love gadgets

[ ] You can be rather cocky

[ ] Your favourite colour is red or gold

[X] You’re good with computers

[X] You use sarcasm a lot

[ ] You love getting attention

[ ] You’re good at mechanics

[ ] You have issues with your parents


Dr. Bruce Banner/ The Hulk:

[X] You’re good at science

[X] You can get very aggressive when ticked off

[X] You like to be secluded most of the time

[X] You like wearing baggy clothes

[ ] You like to meditate

[X] You like doing science experiments

[X] You try to avoid getting into fights

[X] You like wearing purple things

[X] You’re clever

[X] Your favourite colour is green



[ ] You’re good with a hammer

[X] You like coffee

[X] You can eat a truckload of food and still be hungry

[ ] You can be arrogant

[ ] You have long hair

[X] You have an interest in astrology

[ ] You can get sulky when things don’t go your way

[X] You’re willing to take a fall for someone else

[X] You like to dress up as fantasy characters

[ ] You don’t get on well with your sibling(s)


Steve Rogers/ Captain America:

[X] You like helping those in need in any way you can

[X] You hate bullies

[ ] You’re a great leader

[X] You’re a bit of a do-gooder

[ ] One of your favourite colour is red, white or blue

[ ] You like wearing things with stars on them

[X] You strongly admire the army

[ ] You have a good throwing arm

[ ] You like war films

[ ] You’re good at running


Commander Nick Fury:

[X] You like wearing long coats

[ ] You’re good at organizing things

[X] You’re good at being in the loop

[X] You like guns

[ ] You’re good at giving information to people

[ ] You like giving solutions to peoples problems

[X] You like eye patches

[ ] You work best as part of a team

[X] You like beards

[X] You like wearing black things


Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow:

[ ] You like wearing tight clothes

[ ] You can do martial arts

[X] You’re interested in the world of spies

[ ] You have red hair

[ ] You’re quite agile

[X] People generally don’t know much about the real you

[X] You like to make yourself look good

[ ] You can speak another language

[ ] You’re good at taking orders

[ ] You were born in a different country to the one you are living in now


Clint Barton/ Hawkeye:

[ ] You’re very good at archery.

[ ] You currently like/love someone on your team

[X] You like to wear purple and black

[ ] You’re very good at aiming

[ ] You’ve worked at the carnival

[ ] You like working in a team

[X] You’re up for almost anything thrown at you

[ ] You’d be a top assassin if you ever took the job

[X] You’re quiet

[X] You tend to get along with people well



[ ] You want to be a great leader

[X] You want to prove something

[X] You’re the younger sibling

[ ] You’ve been/are overshadowed by a sibling

[ ] You don’t get along so great with your sibling

[X] You’re good at lying

[ ] You’re adopted

[X] You’re very clever

[ ] You are able to manipulate people well

[X] Your favourite colour is green or gold




You have a short temper.
You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
You are very competitive.
You like to play with fire.
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
You often lose control over yourself.
You can be quite reckless.
You sometimes hurt people without realizing it.
People have often called you insane.



You have a calm, laid-back personality.
You like to go to the beach.
You rarely get angry.
When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
You think before you act
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a good swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are very generous.



You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild.
You care about the environment.
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.



You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are very independent and outgoing.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted.
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying.
You wish you could fly.



You spend most of your time alone.
You prefer night time over daytime.
You like creepy things.
You like to play tricks on people.
Black is your favourite colour.
You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
You don't talk much.
You are atheist.
You don't mind watching scary movies.
You love to break the rules.



You are very polite.
You are spiritual.
When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
You believe everything you see or hear.
You are afraid of the dark.
You hate violence.
You hope for world peace.
You are generally a happy person.
Everyone loves to be around you.
You always follow the rules.



You say English, we say Japanese

You say cars, we say Nyan Cat

You say Justin Bieber, we say Vocaloid

You say swords, we say Bleach

You say reality, we say anime

You say comics, we say manga

You say countries, we say Hetalia

You say hello, we say konichiwa

You learn Japanese from classes, we learn from shows

You cry if a character dies, we have a rainbow of emotions

You only feel what your favourite person feels, we feel what everyone else is feeling

You crush on pop stars, we crush on anime characters

You think we're crazy, but we think you're just normal

You say souls, we say Soul Eater

You Say Ocean, We Say ONE PIECE

You Say Guild, We say FAIRY TAIL

You Say Ninja, We Say Naruto

You say Family, We say Vongola

You say notebook, We say DeathNote

You say Gay, We say Yaoi

You say rabbits, we say Flying Mint Bunny

You think we're fangirls/fanboys, but we're all Otakus.


japanese name

川添 Kawazoe (riverside)

久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child)


Even our countries are asking for help.
Shouldn't we listen to them?

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.


Well, this is the end, I hope you enjoyed your visit and please come again!

The day the world ends, no one will be there, just as no one was there when it began. -Jean Baudrillard


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