Hey this is Simone. I love to write but only recently found out about this website, so expect stuff from me!
16 things to do in Walmart.
1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
16. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.
Annoying things to do in an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head.
I wish that my lawn was emo so that it would cut itself.
So many people are Team Jacob or Team Edward. I'm Team Tyler's Van. It will forever be remembered in its endeavors to rid the world of the evil Mary Sue, more commonly known by the alias Isabella Swan.
talk 2 u l8ter peeps!