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dieustinkingbaka
Biography
Joined May '10

name: Brigid

Age: no

gender: female

About me: Well to my Two friends Neko-imouto and Bunny-musume I'm known as Okaa-chan, Wolf, Prussia, and Nee-sama. I like chocolate, randomness, wolves and platypi. My all-time favorite author is Third Fang-sama. My so far favorite music artists are Eddie Rath and Billy Talent.


Honorary Member of The Book of Log.

If you worship the holiness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile... although you may want to change the comments

Position: Log Worshiper.

Possible Book of Log Positions:

Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements

Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story

Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 Naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log

OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews

OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.

Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is Konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. C-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, A-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still recommended.

Log excerpt number 231: if Konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.

Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:

For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.

For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
saplings.

For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
saplings.

For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.

For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
twenty-five saplings.

If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.

'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: Wherefore dost i weep? 'Tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. The log is thine ally, and mine kin. Calling upon the log, is to call upon me. To aid thee in battle, I weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: Yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. For thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4

'as the log takes your place, you become the log. The log becomes you. For a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3

'you are fools! Your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. And the people shook their heads. You have been denied the log for a long time, sand-walker. We cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. When the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16

'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. Blackened and charred, the log crumbled. The ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. He made his way to the log, and wept. His companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. He spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. The forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. I thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82

'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. Reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. And he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9

'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. For many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. Finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. As his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. His stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: Why did you endanger yourself for me again? Have you not done enough for me? And the log spoke: It is my duty, and our bond. We exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. We both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70

Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.

(ALL HAIL THE LOG) This is a Third Fang reference. If you do not know who he is, get out of my profile and read Yet Again With A Little Extra Help -a Naruto fanfic-, blasphemers.


╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║║╔╗║╔╗║║║╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║ Put this on your
║║║║╚╝║╚╝╣║║║║║║║║║╚╝ page if you love

║║║║╔╗║╔╗║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╔╗ Naruto!
╚╩═╩╝╚╩╝╚╩══╝╚╝╚══╝╚╝

╔╗╔╦══╦═╦╦══╦══╦══╗╔╗
║║║╠╗╔╣║║║╔╗╠╗╔╣╔╗║║║ Put this on your
║╚╝║║║║║║║╚╝║║║║╚╝║╚╝ page if you love
║╔╗╠╝╚╣║║║╔╗║║║║╔╗║╔╗ Hinata!
╚╝╚╩══╩╩═╩╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝╚╝


Things not to do at Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock all the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" (Teehee!)

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class sky clad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

I can see myself doing all of this. I was hilarious.


Reasons why Santa is Evil

1- He steals your cookies
2- He comes into your house in the middle of the night
3- He makes his reindeer slave all the way around the world, carrying not only a huge sack full of presents, but a heavy slay and a heavy man!!
4- He makes people think about getting, and not giving
5- He forces his elves to make toys all year, with NO pay
6- He forces Rudolf (a little kid) to guide a heavy slay around the world
7- He knows everything about you. Including whether you're naughty or nice.
8- If you re-arrange the letters of his name, it comes out as 'Satan'
9- He made people forget about the true meaning of Christmas. The birth of Jesus.
10- He introduced the Easter Bunny, whom makes you fat every year.
11- He supports Child Obesity
12- His clothes are stained with blood
13- He crushes the dreams of young reindeer, who wanna be on his sled team. But he rejects them.
14- Said young reindeer all gang up on Rudolf, because They're jealous


The Song of a Hungry Warrior

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my sword,

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my sword,

Oh, I'll chop you into pieces if you don't give me some Reeses

Oh I'm comin' round the mountain with my sword!

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my gun,

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my gun,

Oh, I'll shoot you till you die if you don't give me pie

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my gun!

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my axe,

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my axe,

Oh, I'll chop off your head if you don't give me some bread

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my axe!

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my spear,

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my spear,

Oh, I'll stick you on my spear if you don't give me some beer

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with my spear!

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with good hopes,

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with good hopes,

Oh, I'll fight you night and day if you get in my way-ay

Oh, I'm comin' round the mountain with good hopes!
You like? Copy and paste, and remember, this was Diagon the Uber Lord of Lawls' Idea.

YAY SONG OF A HUNGRY -and most likely drunken- WARRIOR.


You Know That You Are An Author If...

You take the book you are reading EVERYWHERE.

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs..."

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)


People say love is like magic, but isn't magic just an illusion?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

You say i'm a bitch, but bitch is a female dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are nature, nature is beautiful. Thanks for the compliment.


If you think that Chip the Wolf should just go to the freaking supermarket and buy his own cookie crisp instead of trying to steal someone else's, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.

Author: Follow Favorite

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