You can please some of the people all of the time.
You can please all of the people some of the time.
But some people, you just can't please.
PMSing is a natural thing, being an ass is something you strive for!
I'd be happy to stop contradicting you, just as soon as you start being right.
Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump on the road and spill your drink.
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
A girl who thought she was a spoon once told me "Satan created religions to confuse people." If she could figure it out, what's with the rest of the world?
Whoever said "words will never hurt me" is an idiot. Words are the easiest way to hurt someone.
Some people wonder if there is life after death,
but I'm not even sure there is life before death.
What is Truth? The "truth" is that there is no truth. Nothing is certain.
Oh, I'm sorry. My fault, I didn't know you were an idiot.
Shall I sink down to your level so we can argue like children?
Life is worthless until it's gone and then it's sacred.
Trust is hard to find and easy to lose.
The irony when you save someone's life is that eventually they'll die anyway.
Life is just death in slow motion.
How is beating someone senseless supposed to bring them to their senses?
People that don't like me I can deal with, it's the people that claim they do that I have to watch out for.
Friends are much worse then enemies. At least with enemies you know to be careful, friends have easy access to your back.
Friends can betray you, but with an old enemy, you always know where you stand - Gorath, Krondor the Betrayal.
Eve never would have taken the apple if god hadn't made humans gullible.
Always expect the worst, that way if it happens you're ready for it and if it doesn't you get a pleasant surprise.
It's the little things that make life heaven...
It's the big things that make life hell.
Life is a disease. I have the cure, but I'm afraid of the side effects.
Am I a failure because I'm too lazy to succeed or too diligent at making bad decisions?
Love, is not eternal. For that would mean, one would have to live forever, to truely love...
Do you need some time to comprehend why saying that makes you stupid?
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Instant bitch - just add morons!
Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
Why do we kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong?
What's gone is gone, there are no more dragons or magic in the world and me being here now is just some god having his sick fun with me.
Or to put it in a slightly less nice way, Dragons can be a bunch of whiny bastards.
I mean, what kind of a world do we live in where you have to pin not believing in anything on a belief? It's no wonder lots of people just scream "fuck it!" and ignore the entire thing and try really, really hard to never think about anything at all.
Another day gone
nothing new, nothing special
why even go on?
I am very bored
All of this just seems pointless
Would you kill me now?
Oh what I'd give to believe in the existence of god. Thanks to my lack of belief, or faith if you will, I doubt in the existence of an after-life. If there is no after-life, then the thought of life is troubling. Whether you are rich or poor, happy or sad, mean or nice, "good" or "bad", you will die. When you do, you shall cease to exist. So what does it all matter? In the end nothing you did in life will matter. Do we even exist then? Life is just an illusion.
Maybe life is a proving grounds. Maybe by being successsful in this life you'll be rewarded in the "after-life". Or maybe this life is just a simulation. When we die we wake up like it (life) was some sort of test. One you can't study for. A test of character.
Going to church is for the weak-willed. No one that has true faith needs a church to convey that faith. Church is for those that are fearful of what will happen if they don't. God never does anything, so why fear him? The answer is we fear what we don't understand, and I doubt there is anyone that truely understands the concept of god.
What is hope? Hope is having faith that things will get better. Hope is sometimes all one has, or even all one needs. Hope keeps life going. Only the dead are truely hopeless. As long as there is life left in you there is hope that it will endure. Never lose hope.
What is the difference between loving a friend and loving a life partner? Do you not want to spend time with your friends for the rest of your life? Do you not cherish them? Does their presence not comfort you? Do you not support each other through thick and thin? Through sickness and health? A true friend is just a life partner you don't have sex with.
Note : Of course, I suppose there IS such a thing as "friends with benefits" _
Trying desperately for a light voice, Iruka quipped, "And the towel racks?"
Kakashi's voice warmed with the kind of gleefully lascivious flirtation that he usually saved for inflicting passages from his Icha Icha Paradise collection on Iruka's defenseless ears.
"Why are you so self-conscious about your towel racks? Your towel racks are magnificent! Any hot-blooded man would kill for the chance to get his hands on a well-hung set of towel racks like--"
Iruka drove an elbow into Kakashi's stomach sharply, then pulled himself free and turned around and started beating the scarecrow over the head. "HOW do you make TOWEL RACKS sound FILTHY!"
With both hands arched over his head in a rather futile attempt at self-defense, Kakashi wheezed, "It's a gift...! Some of us are just born with pure, raw talent..."
"But what ARE the towel racks...!" Iruka wailed.
Kakashi gave up all attempts at self-preservation at that point, sliding down the doorframe, too convulsed with laughter to respond.
By someone in Florida:
I always forget you northerners have winter. Then again, we have hurricanes. It all evens out. God, I understand we live in America's Wang, but would you please stop blowing us so much?
“Did it hurt?” He asked.
“Did what hurt?” Naruto replied.
“When you fell from heaven.” Sasuke smiled as he placed his lips on his neck. Naruto snorted at this. He tilted his head back as Sasuke nuzzled the crook of his neck.
“Yeah of course it did. It’s not like I have wings.” Naruto said in amusement.
Except you, Shikamaru.” Said Asuma. “You have to paint a picture.”
Shikamaru gave Asuma a look. “In order to paint, I’ll have to take off my chuunin vest.” He said. “And, even though Kiba has paint on his hands, I’m going to have to ask him to hold it for me.”
“What!” said Asuma. “NO! YOU MUSN’T!”
“Just don’t let Akamaru play in my chuunin vest, okay Kiba?” said Shikamaru.
“Wait…what?” said Kiba.
“Fine, fine, he can play in it if he WANTS to.” Shikamaru sighed. Akamaru barked to show that he did, in fact, want to play in the chuunin vest.
“Okay!” said Asuma. “I surrender! You can go home if you wish.”
“That was my only fucking coat! I liked it!” Sakura protested as she grabbed the box of gear that was shoved into her arms.
“You’d better find something else to fuck in, then.” Anko said cheerfully, and vanished.
Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.
You always find something in the last place you look...why would you keep looking?
Seize the moment, because, tomorrow you might be dead - Buffy
and most importantly, it would be wrong proceeds to do it anyway - Buffy
I'd say I'm going crazy, but I'm way past "going"
If you always look on the bright side something will come sneaking out of the dark side and bite you in the ass.
There are no stupid questions, only stupid people who don't think before opening their mouths.
Shy away from the darkness and you'll be blinded by the light.
Life is a stage. I put on an act, and everyone else pays for watching the show..
What's the point in having your cake if you can't eat it?
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Life doesn't give me lemons, it gives me papaya and I have no idea what to do with it O_o