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Madhatter1981 PM
Joined Oct '10, USA

m m

The owl will eat all of the bunnies

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was

born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When

I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you

go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

In regards to my age; I was born the same year as my pen name, in the spring, you do the math.

Like books, movies, and TV, so that's where you will probably see my stories come from.

To those of you who are putting my little brain drabbles in you various favorite story folders, I have one request. While I am pleased that the stories that I banged out have gotten so much attention, please review so that I know what you like about my stories in the hope that i can duplicate it.

Thank you


ps: if i post a story with the tag complete it means i have no plans to continue it.

pps: However, i am working on some other fic that i hope to post here shortly. Check Back.

ppps: I just realized that two of the stories that i have posted have similar titles. oops.

Biggest problem I have writing stories; coming up with the title. (See last postscript above).

Characters in Harry Potter that I enjoy bashing (and my reasons for bashing them):

Albus Dumbledore: He's been around for over a hundred years yet lets prophecy dictates his actions and doesn't even try to change things for the better in the world. Honestly, I see Dumbledore as someone high on his own fumes/legend. Now some of you may say that his hands were tied by prophecy and there wasn't that much he could do without damaging the future to an even worse degree. OK, first off I don't believe that prophecies are set in stone and given how unreliable Trelawney is as a character in canon I don't put much faith in a prophecy she gives, true or not. Also, the 'suspected Death Eaters should have been questioned under Veritaserum, given a quick but legal trial and then either; killed, thrown through the veil, kissed by and dementor or imprisoned in Azkaban for life. None of this 'everyone deserves a second chance to repent' tripe.

Molly Weasley: Oh dear lord do I hate Molly. She really wasn't that much more than a background character until the fifth book, and even then she didn't contribute to the overarching direction of the story that much. In my personal opinion; Molly should have been kicked out of Grimmauld in the fifth book for how she was treating Sirius, and then she should have died facing off against Bellatrix in the final battle in the seventh book. And on the subject of Bellatrix; Molly stole a righteous kill from either Neville or Harry, more so Neville. Not to mention that no one calls Molly on acting slightly like a DE/blood purist with how she and Ginny and to a lesser extent Hermione are acting towards Fleur in the Sixth Book, not to mention how she treats Hermione in the latter half of the fourth book. I realize that this may be an unsympathetic view, but I honestly believe that if she wasn't raising a family/lost her two brothers to Death Eaters she would have joined the DE's ranks in the 70'.

Ron Weasley: Ron outlives his usefulness after the third book IMHO. If you want a more detailed reason; below this is a listing of 'HP fanfiction tropes I hate' that explains more.

Ginny Weasley: Let me start this by saying that up until the 6th book I could have actually seen Harry and Ginny together. While Ginny wasn't my first choice as a pairing for Harry, before the 6th book came out she was in my top three of witches I could see Harry end up with (and no, I'm not telling you who were the first and second ones) although I did have a bit of a problem with the fact that there had been almost no character development for Ginny going into Half Blood Prince (yeah Ginny was possessed by a portion of Voldie's soul so she the expert of being possessed by him, sure, you betcha) . Ginny and Harry's relationship was so poorly handled during the last two book as well as the overall story for the last two books frustrated me so much, that I sold off all of my HP book roughly a year after 'Deathly Hollows' came out and had to buy back the ones in the series that I liked again when I started to write fanfiction, which I can tell you is not either of the last two books.

Severus Snape: He never gets called on the carpet for how he treats anyone who isn't a Slytherin. You can cry spy and 'needed to maintain his cover/protection Harry in Lily's memory' til you're blue in the face doesn't change my opinion. Also, given that way he treats Harry throughout the books, I don't understand the majority of fanfictions I read where the Marauders and Lily are unrepentantly grateful to Severus 'for looking out for Harry' when they meet up in the afterlife.

Draco Malfoy: He directly led to Dumbledore getting killed, the occupation of Hogwarts and yet, is seen seeing off his son to Hogwarts in the book's epilogue. Sorry, don't buy it, blondie should have been in prison for a good number of years; at least long enough that his and The Golden Trio's children aren't peers/contemporaries at Hogwarts. (That being said, I am firmly in the camp that he and Ron become family due to Scorpius and Rose getting together). Also, I have an opinion of Draco's sexuality/his relationship with Ron that I go into in my 'HP fanfiction tropes' section.

Dolores Umbridge: Does anyone like Umbridge, enough said.

Cho Chang: This seemed more like Rowling was just making time before getting Harry and Ginny together. Yes she was inconsolable after Cedric died and used Harry as a way to stay close to her dead ex, but answer me this; if for some reason, they put out an edition of the HP saga with the character of Cho removed completely would it remotely change the narrative in any way. (To be honest, I feel the same way about an edition where Ginny is removed, to a lesser degree)

Pretty much anyone who I feel is responsible for ruining Harry's life, including the magical world in general

Note: Quotable by AkaOkamiRyu had added a one-shot in their CSI Greg/Morgan one-shot collection based on a line out of my fic Thoughts, it called Home and it's chapter 4 in the collection. Check it out.

Note 2: To those of you who, when I post a new fic, tell me to get to work on 'Quidditch' i am working on it. However, the fact that I am re-writing something that I've already written at least in part makes it slow going. To keep my imagination going during those times I work on other stories, the stories that I have been posting in the meantime. I understand that a good number of you want to read what happens in 'Quidditch' and I hope to have a chapter (or more) out for you soon. That doesn't mean that I won't write what I have an idea for, I hope you stick around regardless.

Note 3: I view Hermione as someone who has crippling self-esteem issues, as well as a total belief in adults as to having all the answers and would never lead her wrong to any extent. She would believe an adult to the extent of her best friends if she was told something by an adult that her friends disagreed with.

I'm starting to view Rowling as a literary George Lucas in a sense; given that she, either on her website or when giving interviews, changes what we 'know' about the universe she created.

HP fanfiction Tropes i Hate

  1. Using a gun/bomb to kill off Voldemort/his death eaters: With all of the different spells/potions, magic in general, that seem to be available to Harry, using a gun/bomb to deal with Voldemort denotes a lack of imagination/laziness and I will stop reading a fic as soon as it shows that it is going to go down this route.
  2. 'Potters always marry redheads': Two words; Dorea Black. Yes, I know that She-Who-Can't-Stop-Changing-The-Universe-She-Created-Even-After-She-Wrote-The-Last-Book has said that James' Mother is Euphemia Potter, not Dorea Black; I'm not arguing against this. However, some Potter did marry Dorea Black in the recent (as far as the books are concerned) past, as noted on the Black family tapestry in the fifth book, and given the way all born with Black blood save for Tonks are described, none of them have red hair thereby quickly and easily putting an end to that nonsense.
  3. Making Ron more important to ending Voldemort than he really was: I realize that I may be in a minority with this one. In my personal opinion, Ron outlived his usefulness after the third book when he stood up to Sirius Black (who he thought was out to kill Harry at the time). Nothing he did in any of the subsequent books showed any sort of character growth or reason for Harry/Hermione to keep him around:

Fourth book: thought Harry, who hated his fame, put his name in the goblet and ignored, potentially/probably badmouthed him for a month. Then give a halfhearted apology and all was forgiven.

Fifth book: Yes he did partake in the DA/go with Harry to the Ministry, but Ron got knocked out of the fight first after his run in with those living brain things in the Department of Mysteries (part of the reason that i think i hated the sixth book so much, aside from the who Monster in the Chest bit that kept on reminding me of the end of Spaceballs, was that there didn't seem to be any sort of consequence of the brains latching onto Ron) And before anyone starts getting after me about the DA, that was all Harry and Hermione, Ron just came to make sure he passed his OWLs/everyone else was doing it.

Sixth book: spent most of it sucking face with Lavender (I'm convinced that the Sixth book was written by a Ghostwriter and Rowling had taken time off to raise her children and the publisher didn't want to wait/lose momentum given how out of tone it was). I also find it strange that Harry's the one who thinks Draco's up to something and Ron thinks Harry's crazy, given the way the three of the are portrayed in the first through fifth book.

Seventh book: upon realizing how hard/real the task of finding and eliminating all of Voldemort's Horcruxes were he bails on Harry/Hermione and they take him back again when he comes back later, after either stay with his parents; or Bill and Fleur, more likely.

4. Harry/Draco pairing: Let me start this out by saying I am not homophobic. I have been friends with both bi-sexual/lesbian/gay people from when I was in high school to now. I just don't see Harry and Draco as having sexual chemistry, with the exception of the first and sixth books Ron is usually the one to react to Malfoy's rants/taunts. If any member of the 'Golden Trio' has UST with Draco I say it's Ron, not Harry.

5. Married witches don't work: Considering that the only witches who also are married/have given birth to children, that we met in the books seem to be Molly Weasley and Narcissa Malfoy this seem to be too small a subject pool to draw from to form an opinion, one way or another, about whether or not married witches work in the wizarding world.

6. The founders of Hogwarts taught the same subjects as the current ('90-'98) Heads of House: This literally makes no sense. I've checked The Harry Potter Lexicon, The Harry Potter Wiki and Pottermore. None of them say what subjects any of the for founders of Hogwarts taught, when they were running the school.

6a) Honestly odds of the founders of Hogwarts and the current (book timeline) heads of Hogwarts teaching the same subject is so astronomical that it's virtually impossible.

7. Why is Harry a prodigy at DADA, yet so abysmal at the other courses: I may have gotten something wrong with my understanding of Hogwart's curriculum, but to my way of thinking; Defense Against the Dark Arts seems like a course that could/should be learning how to use the magic you've learned in your other course in a practical setting when you get yourself in trouble/danger. Therefore, if Harry is a prodigy at DADA he should at least be nipping at Hermione's heels, grade wise.

Characters in Buffy I can't stand/enjoy bashing and my reasons why

1. Buffy:

Is supposed to be a warrior for good against the forces of evil, yet sets up at least one massacre on her own (releasing Angel's soul, after giving him her virginity), then ignoring the situation until she couldn't anymore.

Doesn't see what she has as a gift just sees it as a burden.

Is misandric (hates/looks down on men)

Thinks she and Willow can do no wrong, looks down on everyone else.

2. Willow

For most of the show, uses magic without understanding/accepting the consequents

Seems to dislike every female that Xander shows interest in, even after she 'comes out'

Is sycophantic towards Buffy to the extent that she is willing to kick her best friend since kindergarten out of the group whenever Buffy says so.

The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight

1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently, it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon.

2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls.

3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that.

4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover.

5. Author Stephenie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies.

6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing.

7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid.

8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family.

9. When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy.

10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever.

11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you.

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