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Lampito PM
My Stories 79
75Not In South Dakota Any More » Dean & Sam Winchester are two of the best Hunters ever to work for the Federal Office of Occult Control, Eradication & Redaction (FOOCER), but when they find themselves victims of a prank it's clear these two Feds are not in South Dakota any more. Can they learn to operate like Hunters of yore, living on their wits, a good hustle, and the odd RuPaul impersonation contest?
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 11, words: 28k+, favs: 12, follows: 13, updated: 6/20/2019 published: 10/12/2018
41HELL-TV » HELL-TV. It's like a pirated cable service, where Crowley can channel infernal power to watch history that almost happened, but didn't quite make it. (Of course, he has to get somebody younger than 200 years to connect it for him.) Fifty channels; and every one of them showing the Winchesters. A series of one-shots about almost-history. Silliness guaranteed.
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 5, words: 16k+, favs: 11, follows: 8, updated: 3/24/2018 published: 8/18/2017, Sam W., Dean W.
70 Supernatural DISCoveries » They're both Men Of Knowledge, working behind the scenes, underpaid and underappreciated, to keep their worlds safe from ghastly things. It'd not that surprising that the Librarian and Bobby Singer are well acquainted. And of course, once a path has been beaten through anywhere, including L-space, others can follow... silliness guaranteed.
Discworld & Supernatural, T, English, Humor, chapters: 6, words: 27k+, favs: 23, follows: 29, updated: 2/8/2018 published: 8/22/2012
314 Escapees From The Plot Bunny Farm » Plot bunnies are strange creatures; who knows where they come from? Well, presumably when a mummy plot bunny and a daddy plot bunny get together and get married they make little plot bunnies... there will always be more plot bunnies than there are stories, but we can have a red hot go at stomping them anyway. A series of one-shots.
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 25, words: 106k+, favs: 17, follows: 21, updated: 11/17/2017 published: 6/22/2013, Sam W., Dean W., Bobby S.
195 Dean's Totally Awesome AU Ye Olde Pirate Werewolf Chasing Adventure! » This is a story about, er, well, about Dean having a Totally Awesome AU Ye Olde Pirate Werewolf Chasing Adventure, sailing off in the Impala to rescue his brother, who's been kidnapped by... an unattractive woman! *horrified gasp!* Outrageously overblown, with much melodrama and plenty of positively purple pirate prose. With added Gratuitous Winchester Nudity. FINALLY COMPLETE!
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Adventure, chapters: 34, words: 110k+, favs: 11, follows: 12, updated: 11/17/2017 published: 10/12/2015
170Mean » Dean is the Living Sex God (just ask, he'll tell you). He's an attractive man (false modesty sucks) who knows how to use what he's got to get what he wants. He has no shame, no discretion, and no interest in the nuances of advanced statistical analysis theory. Is a monster targeting hot guys? If so, Dean is a sure to be target, right, being so much above average. Right? Right?
Supernatural, T, English, Humor, chapters: 27, words: 67k+, favs: 8, follows: 16, updated: 5/13/2017 published: 11/30/2016
28Kill It With Fire! Usually, Dean is a fan of the Shoot First And Ask Questions Later approach - in fact, he's quite happy with Shoot First And Don't Bother With Questions At All - but on this one very specific occasion, he can't help but wonder if Sam isn't overreacting, just a weeny little bit... a one shot.
Supernatural, K+, English, Humor & Family, words: 855, favs: 14, follows: 4, 11/9/2016
196Old Dogs, Old Tricks » Dean is Not Happy. He doesn't mind weddings (so long as they happen to other people) but this one he objects to. And Sam won't even let him kill a werewolf; instead, he has to be *polite* to it, and that's bad enough, but having to cooperate with a cranky werewolf to make sure the bride and groom's big day goes without a hitch is just beyond the pale…
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 18, words: 50k+, favs: 18, follows: 18, updated: 8/19/2016 published: 10/1/2014
208 Like A Boss » Sam's no expert on celestial physiology, but if he didn't know better, he'd say that Cas has a terrible cold. Which is silly, because angels don't get colds, right? Nor, for that matter, do demons. But the real question is, when a supernatural being in an important position of power is out of action, who's going to stand in for the boss?
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 24, words: 79k+, favs: 44, follows: 40, updated: 6/15/2016 published: 2/1/2016, Sam W., Dean W., Castiel, Crowley
17 Make A Wish Yep, just make a wish. Think of something you want, and wish for it. It's that simple. Seriously, how difficult could it be? A one-shot.
Supernatural, K+, English, Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 12, follows: 1, 2/10/2016, Sam W., Dean W.
391Who's The Wincest Of Them All? » As in, whose writing is most excruciatingly wince-inducing? Sam & Dean are about to find out when they attend a fanfic convention to stop murders happening. As if that's not bad enough, they have to go undercover to blend in, which needs some serious disguises. And comfortable foundation garments (no underwires). (NO SLASH HERE you naughty naughty shippers, just a joke title.)
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 31, words: 85k+, favs: 44, follows: 39, updated: 9/10/2015 published: 4/21/2015
383Nine To Five » The Winchesters have finished up a job, cleaning up after somebody's stupidity in dabbling with the occult - again. So now they're broke - again. They've never expected Hunting to be a glamorous occupation, but just once, just once, Dean would like some sort of recognition (and remuneration) for the public service they provide. And then... oh dear. And who the hell is Harry?
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 31, words: 69k+, favs: 19, follows: 23, updated: 3/5/2015 published: 11/17/2014
131 On Yer Bike » 'On yer bike' (slang): An impolite way to tell someone to go away because you're not listening to them. Which is pretty much the response Sam and Dean get for their opinion on a vacation project. But what starts out as having fun fossicking through the junk at Bobby's yard could turn out to be a matter of life and death. Or at least, statistically dubious science. COMPLETE
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 12, words: 28k+, favs: 9, follows: 10, updated: 9/26/2014 published: 4/30/2014, Sam W., Dean W., Bobby S.
402 The Streaker's Defence, Or, A DEMONstrably Bad Idea » The Streaker's Defence: It seemed like a good idea at the time. And it had; what he'd been hoping for was a fellow wolf to go for a bit of a prowl, not Ozzy bloody Osbourne with a muscle car, a stolen guitar, and no appreciation of Italian architecture. Poor Crowley; he's Karma's football. How I think Season 10 should kick off, with minimum angst and a healthy dose of crack.
Supernatural, T, English, Humor, chapters: 32, words: 85k+, favs: 27, follows: 17, updated: 9/20/2014 published: 5/26/2014, Sam W., Dean W., Crowley
398 Dude, Were's My Apocalypse? » Yes, 'were' - as a wise man said, it's a pune, or play on words. By popular demand, the story of what the Were!chesters did when some bastard decided to crank up the Apocalypse (again). It's not Lucifer (too busy eating pasta) or Michael (too busy posing for magazine covers), but Crowley has sought political asylum. And Chuck just wants to brew beer, is that so much to ask?
Supernatural, T, English, Family, chapters: 32, words: 93k+, favs: 25, follows: 19, updated: 8/4/2014 published: 5/12/2014, Sam W., Dean W., Bobby S.
505 A Shaggy Dog Story » When a Hunt goes south, Dean takes desperate measures to save Sam. And it works. Dean doesn't care if Sam's grumpy about what he did – his baby bro is alive and well, so he'll take all the complaining that Sammy can dish out; but if Sam cocks a leg on the Impala, he reserves the right to swat him with a rolled-up newspaper...
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 31, words: 86k+, favs: 59, follows: 38, updated: 4/29/2014 published: 2/7/2014, Sam W., Dean W.
23 Authentic After a difficult job, Dean and Sam invite Castiel to take an afternoon off, and attend a Civil War re-enactment with them. The Angel of the Lord is fascinated by the attention to detail, and just wants to help... a one-shot.
Supernatural, T, English, Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 18, follows: 4, 3/4/2014, Sam W., Dean W., Castiel
376 Here Comes the Snide » It's a wedding! And the Winchesters are invited. Bobby's giving the bride away, Dean's on make-up advice, and Sam will make polite chitchat with the groom's family and see that they don't find out that he's about to marry a werewolf. Then they just have to stop whatever's haunting the building. And explain 'chicken fillets' to Castiel. Could it get worse? Um, yes...
Supernatural, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 30, words: 89k+, favs: 28, follows: 18, updated: 2/25/2014 published: 11/26/2013, Sam W., Dean W., Bobby S., Castiel
28 The Jimiverse's Next Top Plot Bunny II! » Plot bunnies: they're evil little... things. They nibble on your brain until you write a chapter, and won't always deign even to give you the outline of a plot. They want attention, but won't always cough up. But maybe we can make the little... wretches work for it.
Supernatural, T, English, Humor, chapters: 3, words: 3k+, favs: 1, follows: 1, 2/6/2014, Sam W., Dean W., Bobby S.
238Somewhere Over The Rainbow » Murders linked to sex conventions plus chance of ganking demons equals a job that Dean really wants to tackle. Sam isn't so sure, but Dean isn't thinking entirely with his Upstairs Brain. They can work out details later, right, because hey, sex convention! And if Cas is going to help out with the demon thing, what could possibly go wrong? Or has sexy just got scary?
Supernatural, T, English, Humor, chapters: 24, words: 57k+, favs: 24, follows: 24, updated: 11/28/2013 published: 9/29/2013, Sam W., Dean W., Castiel
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