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NothingPretentious PM
My Stories 8
22Ninety-Nine Trope Subversions And A Deckchair Party Harry Potter and friends kick back and relax at the First Annual Post-Voldemort Party And Jamboree. What did Bill Weasley refer to as his "Rod of Wonder"? Where is Crabbe Castle? How did Voldemort get an army of steampunk ice giants? Who is Albus Baker? What does Hermione need the chloroform for? Why is Ginny a lich? Get ready for none of these questions, and more, to be answered.
Harry Potter, K+, English, Humor, words: 5k+, favs: 51, follows: 17, 12/12/2014
2k+Harry amidst the Vaults of Stone » Following the fall of Voldemort, it is up to the Gringotts goblins to carry out the terms of the Potters' will. What will happen when young Harry Potter - halfblood, Parselmouth, curse-scarred, outsider - is raised in the stalagmite city of Underfoot?
Harry Potter, T, English, Adventure & Fantasy, chapters: 28, words: 157k+, favs: 4k+, follows: 4k+, updated: 5/24/2013 published: 2/23/2011, Harry P.
15 AU phigorey: The Gashlycrumb Wizards Literary nonsense, with a question mark next to 'literary'. Just unmitigated Alternative Universe poppycock in the form of alphabetic verse.
Harry Potter, K+, English, Poetry & Humor, words: 267, favs: 21, 8/26/2012, Alicia S., Blaise Z.
23 Raiders Of The Lost Horcrux Ron might end up getting killed chasing after his damned 'fortune and glory'. But not today. * Just a somewhat silly oneshot. *
Harry Potter, K+, English, Adventure & Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 69, follows: 13, 4/8/2012, Ron W.
182 Mandragora Consider the curiously humanoid mandrake root, or mandragora. It is hideously ugly, deadly dangerous, and a powerful restorative. Why would anything else matter? * * A tale of horror. Please review. * *
Harry Potter, T, English, Horror & Tragedy, words: 1k+, favs: 793, follows: 124, 2/23/2012, P. Sprout
51 The Wand Shop Sketch "Do you have any wands?" - "Well," Ollivander exclaimed, "I'm afraid we don't get much call for them around these parts, sir." - "Not mu-? they're the most popular tool for casting spells in the world!" - "Not round these parts, sir," Ollivander smiled.
Harry Potter & Monty Python, K+, English, Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 279, follows: 65, 11/18/2011, G. Ollivander
684 Lessons With Hagrid "Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Fantasy, words: 4k+, favs: 4k+, follows: 1k+, 10/31/2011, Rubeus H.
329Take Care Of Yourself » When an infant Harry is rescued from the Dursleys to be raised by his Were-uncle Moony, his Godfather Lord Black, and his time-turned future self, the biggest question is obviously... who gets to be the daddy? T for language, otherwise safe. ON HOLD.
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Family, chapters: 10, words: 36k+, favs: 690, follows: 864, updated: 7/27/2011 published: 3/15/2011, Harry P.
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