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109Don't Take This Story Siriusly »
"It's a Harry Potter drinking game," Ron explained. "Every time you call attention to your scar, everyone in hearing range has to take a shot. You've done it three times since you walked in." / A Crackfic Collection featuring OOC-ness, broken fourth walls, and cringe-worthy puns.Harry Potter, K+, English, Humor & Parody, chapters: 11, words: 10k+, favs: 99, follows: 57, updated: 2/18/2021 published: 3/10/2014
4Consequences
It's fitting, Sirius thinks bitterly as he kicks the pile of straw they expect him to sleep on, that he's in Azkaban because of something Peter did.Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship & Tragedy, words: 1k+, favs: 6, follows: 2, 7/16/2019, Sirius B.
4
The Proposals
"What?" James grabs the newspaper. "What on Earth—since when are you two even together?" / platonic!Blackinnon (or is it?)Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship & Humor, words: 2k+, favs: 16, follows: 4, 7/14/2019, Sirius B., Marlene M., Rita S.
6 The Little-Remembered Wizarding War of 1975
The food fight had started nine days ago, on the first morning of the Christmas holiday, when Snape had looked at James the wrong way during breakfast and sent the latter into a frenzy that had resulted in a single egg being thrown across the Great Hall.Harry Potter, K, English, words: 2k+, favs: 10, follows: 5, 6/30/2019, Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P., Severus S.
6 As Black As Night
She dreams of hands as white as snow. / Snow White!AUHarry Potter, K, English, Fantasy, words: 2k+, favs: 6, follows: 6, 6/17/2019, Ginny W., Tom R. Jr.
1 Bounceless Bungee Cords
It started with an innocent question at breakfast: "Ever wonder what it would be like to fly without a broom?"Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship, words: 2k+, favs: 6, follows: 2, 6/1/2019, George W., Lee J., Fred W.
13 Snow
"You're dead." She can't stop the word from trembling on her tongue. "You're not real." Tom Riddle's mouth, dark as ink against his pale complexion, slants into a smirk. "Are you certain?"Harry Potter, K+, English, Angst & Tragedy, words: 2k+, favs: 18, follows: 6, 5/19/2019, Ginny W., Tom R. Jr.
8 Tangles
She sits on the rock and runs a comb through her crimson hair and tries and tries and tries to get rid of the tangles.Harry Potter, K, English, words: 1k+, favs: 10, follows: 4, 5/4/2019, Remus L.
6 Exceeding Expectations
In retrospect, they should never have let Hagrid be in charge of planning Professor Kettleburn's retirement party.Harry Potter, K, English, words: 1k+, favs: 12, follows: 3, 4/19/2019, Severus S., Rubeus H., Minerva M.
2 Dreaming
"You came all the way to Hogwarts to tell me you've been dreaming about torturing me?" / For Nasim, with all of my procrastinate-y loveHarry Potter, K+, English, Romance & Angst, words: 2k+, favs: 25, follows: 8, 4/23/2017, Hermione G., Draco M.
6 Solemnly Swear
You feel warm. You feel as if you are glowing.Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship, words: 1k+, favs: 7, follows: 4, 2/12/2017, Marauders
4 Starry Night
The stars were so bright that Lily couldn't sleep.Harry Potter, K, English, Romance, words: 1k+, favs: 19, follows: 5, 12/11/2016, James P., Lily Evans P.
18 Cold
They say the prisoners here go mad, and you often wonder whether they're talking about the men or the Dementors.Harry Potter, K, English, words: 1k+, favs: 18, follows: 3, 5/15/2016
11 Quidditch Season
The first day of Quidditch season is tense in the Weasley household. It's the one day, after all, where every single team plays.Harry Potter, K, English, Family, words: 1k+, favs: 18, follows: 4, 5/1/2016, Ginny W.
11 Tempted
"Tell me about Hogwarts again."Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship, words: 1k+, favs: 13, follows: 4, 4/17/2016, Lily Evans P., Severus S.
24 Bedrooms
"We both know why you want to buy a house with four bedrooms." /For Magnolia :)Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship & Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 56, follows: 15, 4/16/2016, [Lily Evans P., James P.]
6 Laundry Day
After a long day of work, Remus turns the key in the lock of his front door and, after the usual struggle to get the key back out, walks into his apartment. "Hullo," says Sirius from the couch, and Remus nearly drops his briefcase. / For Claire, with love.Harry Potter, K+, English, Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 10, follows: 3, 4/1/2016, Sirius B., Remus L.
15 The Muggle Grocery Store
Sirius knows something is wrong when Marlene comes home from the store and doesn't shout for him to come help her put away the groceries. / SiriusandMarlenelive!AU written for a nightmare of a person who forfeited the privilege of being my friend by earning himself a reputation for instigating drama and slandering people, so consider it re-gifted to anyone who likes Blackinnon :)Harry Potter, K, English, Romance & Humor, words: 1k+, favs: 30, follows: 6, 3/31/2016, [Marlene M., Sirius B.]
7 The Quidditch Referee
"Terminated?" says Rolanda Hooch, yellow eyes flashing as she strides into his office with a slip of parchment in her hand. "Terminated, Severus?"Harry Potter, K, English, words: 1k+, favs: 22, follows: 3, 12/13/2015, Severus S., R. Hooch
8 Being James Potter
"How'd you get in the girls' dormitory?" she tries to ask, but after the first two words she cuts herself off and clutches her throat. Her voice comes out sounding husky, with a deepness too significantly different from her normal voice to be written offHarry Potter, K, English, words: 1k+, favs: 21, follows: 7, 11/1/2015, James P., Lily Evans P.