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SupernaturallyEgocentric PM
Biography
Joined Mar '11

I've started writing Marvel fanfic. Little scary at first, but I'm getting into it. I'm a HUGE Bucky fan. HUGE. But I want to learn to write all the characters, so I'm starting out small, one-shots and a drabble series which lets me explore. Having a lot of fun with it.

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I didn't start watching Supernatural until season five. Buzz sawed my way through the previous seasons on Netflix to catch up and never looked back. I can't see my life without the boys. When someone tells me they stopped watching because they don't like what's happening, I understand what they're saying but I don't get how they can desert our boys. Thick and thin, good and bad, whatever the hell's going on, I'm there. Sometimes I want to kick their asses, sometimes I really want to kick the showrunner's ass (Sera Gamble is definitely on my freaking hit list), but regardless, I'M THERE. This fandom has introduced me to some wonderful writing, readers and people. I love Supernatural. Although, I will admit, I have been known to ask "What torture are they going to put me through this week?" !!!

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Just wrote my first story in a long while. Felt good, but it's not enough. Going to start a new 'verse. Wincest. Not sex-heavy, but definite Wincest. Looking forward to it. Love the boys loving each other. It's the best.

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The last couple of weeks I've been organizing my stories, moving them to Archive of our Own, printing them out, you know. I moved Balls! over there and was planning to move Balls 2! as well. But then I reread it and noticed that it SUCKS! Stone the crows, I know I hadn't been writing long, but damn! It is NOT good enough to be read by anyone but me. So I am going to rewrite it. Series of relatively short chapters. Storyline will be the same, but I am going to make that sucker sing. I have to. The bones of it are good, but it needs fleshing out and saving. Man. Going to start on that tomorrow, while I'm working on the next chapter of My Boys Redux. Phew! I'm feeling embarrassed. p.s. Just removed it from the site. Will start the reworked version soon.

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Been a while since I checked in, since I posted. Had a pretty scary thing happen. A routine office visit came up with cervical cancer. We caught it early, though, so after a couple of pretty minor procedures it's gone and all is well. Scary, though. One good thing that happened right after that, though, is I am working out of my home now. Same job, just in my home. That's two hours of commuting I won't have to do. Awesome. So now trying to get my writing focus back. Because nothing gives me as much peace and satisfaction as writing. I've been missing it.

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Working on a M/M novel, reworking My Boys and waiting for the art to post for this year's SPN Reversebang. With all that going on, I've slacked off on posting drabbles, which I love. So I'm starting them up again. I like posting, makes me feel connected. But you know what makes me crazy? When I do a drabble or a drabble series and someone likes it but says they would've liked it better if the chapters were longer. ???? Um. Hello? Drabbles?

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I haven't been posting much lately, working on my fics for spn_reversebang andspn_j2-xmas. Almost done with one and nearing the end of the first draft with the other. In other words, crazy busy! But man, I been missing my drabbles. There's nothing like the rush of somebody throwing three completely unrelated words at you and coming up with a drabble that connects all three in a cohesive whole. Bliss.

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Going through my fic list, thinking about what's next. Yes, the next chapter for Twisted, but I also want to do some more on Broken, Rock and Roll Drabble, Greasing the Wheels and My Own Personal Brand of Crazy. Fun stuff, silly stuff, at least on that last one. Can't be all angst and anguish!

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HA! I'M BACK!!!!!!! No stopping me now!

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I HAD AN OPERATION A COUPLE MONTHS AGO. Sucked every bit of energy and creativity right out of me. But I'm back now, working on the epilogue for "My Boys", catching up on E/O challenges and a couple other things. Very happy to be back. Very. I've missed writing so much.

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jUST RE-READ PENANCE. Not half bad.

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HAD TO TRASH MY TWITTER ACCOUNT. Was getting hacked by douchebag pornsters.

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FINALLY PUTTING MY WRITING PANTS ON AGAIN. Putting the finishing touches on the next to last chapter of MY BOYS. Posting regularly on "GREASING THE WHEELS." Feels good.

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COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET. I AM AN APPROVAL SLUT. TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME, JUNIE MOON!

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NOPE, NOT GONNA DO IT. I read a lot of fan fic. A lot. And a lot of the time the author's asking for feedback. I give feedback, usually not more than a few words, but I figure the author worked hard and if I like it, I'm gonna tell 'em. However. I'm not asking for feedback. Not that I don't want it, but I feel like if I ask for it, then it doesn't mean anything. I'd rather someone reviews because they really want to, not because I'm asking for it. That said, is it really that much trouble to hit the freaking review button?

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I DON'T GET IT. If you're not happy with your story, your chapter, whatever, then don't freaking post it! Work on it until you are, no matter how long it takes! If you can't see it clearly, have someone beta it for you. But do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, apologize for your writing! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! See that all the time and it's bullshit. Rewrite if necessary. No apologizing! Jeez!

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OKEY DOKEY. HERE'S MY LIVE JOURNAL LINK http:/// - I've already got a lot of my shorter stuff posted over there, moving more every day. And HOLY CRAP! 58 stories published! This make me very happy! God, I love this stuff!

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WITH THE NEW EXTREMELY WEIRD RULES that this website is enforcing, I am going to be moving some of my fics to my LJ journal. I haven't done a lot with LJ (read: nothing!) but I'm sure that My Boys will be deleted from here so want to be able to continue to post the story somewhere without being spanked. Anyway, when I have a new chapter up, which should be by this weekend, I will post a notification on this website, letting everyone know. Probably will also be moving Twisted and one or two others. Will be updating on my profile as well as changes happen.

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I GET SUCH A KICK out of the fact that I posted my fiftieth story yesterday. And 51 just a few minutes ago. It doesn't matter that some of them are short little guys, they are each and every one my children. I did my absolute best with them and I think that some of them SHINE!

WRITING IS LIFE!

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FOR ANYONE WHO GIVES A CRAP AND IS WONDERING WHY I JUST POSTED A STORY IN SPANISH, I thought it would be fun to post in different languages. I started with Rise and Shine. Starting with Spanish. Russian, Polish and French, next. Why? I already told you! For fun!

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IT WAS SO GOOD LAST NIGHT SEEING DEAN LAUGH IN LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE. Him seeing Sam in all his clowny glitter and then laughing and laughing! It was wonderful!

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PEOPLE USE THE WORD COYLY WAY TOO MUCH. Ugly word. Don't care for it. Can really ruin a good story. I'm not sure -- do people even know what the word means? Hold on, be right back.

Okay, here's Webster's first definition of it:

coy: artfully or affectedly shy or reserved; slyly hesitant; coquettish.

When people say that Sam or Dean do something coyly, it just makes me want to bitch slap them. These two guys never did a coy thing in their entire fucking life.

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ORGASM! Starting Saturday I'm off nine days. NINE FREAKING DAYS! I am going to spend the whole time writing. Finish up Junkyard Dog. Next chapter for My Boys. Keep going on Balls 2. Oh, and working on the rough draft to a new story. Can't freaking wait!

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OH MY FREAKING GOD! Yosemite Sam's favorite curse word is idjit! FUCKING AWESOME!

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BEEN ALMOST A MONTH SINCE I LAST POSTED. Missed it big time. Was working on chapter seven of Junkyard Dog. Posted that last night and a couple more drabbles. I feel better now. I'm going to remember to keep posting a few drabbles every week, every day if I can. It really keeps the juice flowing.

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OKAY. So Bobby's dead. Shut up.

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SHUT UP! BOBBY'S NOT DEAD!

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ANOTHER GREAT STORY TO READ, ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE SAM AND DEAN AS BAD, BAD BOYS is Supernatural Born Killers by sugarbucket. Unfreakingbelievable. You gotta read it!

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HEADS UP! FANTASTIC NEW STORY. Title is Lullaby Suicide by Paperstorm. Hands down, one of the best, if not the best, story I've read all year. READ IT! You won't be disappointed. In fact, read the rest of her stuff as well. Good writer!

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I AM BEING VERY STRICT WITH MYSELF ABOUT STARTING NEW FICS. About NOT starting them, that is. I've got My Boys and Junkyard Dog both ongoing right now. Then when JD is finished, I'm going to start on The Fledgling II. That's going to be a LOT of fun! Plus I've got the little drabble challenge once a week. Thing is, I'm dying to start a new drabble series. BUT I CAN'T, I TELL YOU! CAN'T! No matter how much I love the rush of posting a chapter every day, I CAN'T! Because I need to focus on the larger pieces right now. Not to mention I've got a non-SUPN thing started and I want to spend time on that every single day as well.

NOW WAIT, I CAN HEAR YOU SAYING, NON-SUPN? WHAT THE FUCK?!

I KNOW!

BUT I TELL YOU THAT YOU WILL BE OKAY WITH IT, because one of the guys is in it. Actually, both of them are. Just not as Sam or Dean. Derivative, you say? WHO GIVES A FUCK, I SAY!

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I KNEW I WAS A WRITER AND IRRETRIEVABLY HOOKED ON IT when I found myself being irritated by the t.v. being on all the time. It was too fucking noisy, too stupid. Better to turn the idiot box off and write my own stories. At the very least, it would be quieter. It's funny, how writing turns my head off and on at the same time. It blocks the idiot always spouting bullshit in my head, lets something else out, something maybe not quite as stupid. God, at least I hope it's not as stupid. Do we EVER stop being stupid? Will I?

OH, LISTEN, THERE'S THIS ASSHOLE CALLING HIM/HERSELF PARAKEET. Said asshole likes to flame people. Flamed one of my things a while back, which I didn't take to heart too much, cause really, who gives a shit about some ball-less wonder who flames anonymously? I mean, come on. But now I find out it wasn't just me. He/she apparently just gets off on trying to hurt writers. So if anyone is flamed by said Parakeet (there's more than one Parakeet, you know who you are, asshole), don't take him/her seriously. Coward doesn't deserve it.

WHENEVER I POST A NEW STORY I FREAK. OMG, what if no one likes it, what if they say it's shit, what if it's boring, what if, what if, what freaking if. So what? I don't write for anyone but me. It makes me feel alive. Sure, feedback is good, helps me grow as a writer to see what does and doesn't work, but ultimately I do it for me and no one else. Even this, right now, is for me. It helps to write it down, put into words what is true. I write for myself. Period.

I AM TRYING TO WATCH AND READ THINGS OTHER THAN SUPERNATURAL. I know, don't hurt me, but gotta do it. Need to stretch a little. My attention span was shrinking to where I couldn't watch anything more than sixty minutes long, or read anything other than fan fic length. It was getting freaking ugly! No, I'm not stopping reading fan fic, but I'm trying to keep one book of OTHER going at the same time. Pray for me!

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HAPPINESS IS WRITING. Happiness is watching the words move from one page to the next, watching the number of pages grow, seeing the story and characters move under my fingers. It's the only thing in life that has ever made me truly happy. If I didn't have it, I would fucking die.

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OMG, I AM A HAPPY FREAKING CAMPER! Can you say NEW LAPTOP? I CAN! Whoo Whoo! No more waiting around, no more my computer turning itself off when it decides to. Sssssiiiiiigggggghhhhhhh... New computer equals orgasm.

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HELL. I'M NOT HAPPY WITH GETTING OUT. HAPPY THAT I'M DONE with it but that's about it. I've discovered that working to a certain character count didn't work for me, at least not in this instance. That story needed another five thousand words or so to really work. I think in six months or so I'm going to revise it. It needs work.

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OH YES, FREAKING VICTORY! I POSTED "GETTING OUT". NO CLUE IF IT'S ANY GOOD, BUT IT'S POSTED. I TOOK THE CHALLENGE AND GOT IT POSTED ONE HOUR UNDER THE WIRE AND 500 WORDS OR SO UNDER THE WORD LIMIT. AAAAAHHHHHHH. TODAY I AM WHACKED. JUST ENJOYING DOING NOT MUCH OF ANYTHING BEYOND CHORES AND OCCASIONALLY PONDERING WHAT MY NEXT CHAP WILL BE. GOTTA DO THE E/O CHALLENGE LATER TODAY BUT THAT WON'T TAKE LONG. I'M THINKING TO START THE NEW CHAP OF "MY BOYS" NEXT. HAVE TO SCAN THE LAST SEVERAL CHAPTER TO REFRESH MY MEMORY, SEE WHAT COMES UP.

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I'D BEEN POSTING AT LEAST ONE CHAPTER A WEEK until I started on this challenge fiction. So basically hadn't finished anything since then, posted much of anything. I was feeling very constipated, not happy. I missed the feedback, seeing the numbers on the graph go up. So I started doing more drabbles, one-shots, shorter pieces and I feel much better. Still working on the challenge fic, which is almost done, thank Chuck, will be posted this Saturday. I like the piece, just will be glad that it's done and I can move on to other stuff. I miss MY BOYS, for one thing. Plus, I've got something else cooking that I really want to finish. PLUS, well, it's just been harder to focus on this one long piece than I thought. But then, I guess that's why they call it a challenge, huh?

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YOU KNOW WHAT DRIVES ME BATSHIT CRAZY? When people start stories and don't finish them. Aaarrrrghhhhhh! I just read fourteen fucking chapters of a good angsty Sam story and the cow never finished it! After three years, pretty sure she's not going to either. I could freaking kill her!

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HEY GUESS WHAT! I just got my very first flame! Apparently they don't like my Wincest! How shocking!

BUT YOU KNOW THE REALLY GREAT PART? The story had a warning posted and they read it anyway! So, I'm confused, is it Wincest in general they don't like or mine in particular?

HMMM. What do you want to bet this goober reads all the Wincest they can get their hands on and then flames, thinking the flames prove they don't like it?

YEAH, I'M THINKING WE GOT A CLOSET PERV. Come out of the closet, oh cloaked one! Join the rest of us pervs who read it and actually admit we like it!

THING IS, I DON'T MIND THE FLAME ITSELF. What pisses me off is they were too much of a chickenshit to give me the option to reply back.

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I SPENT MOST OF THE FIRST TWENTY YEARS as an adult moving around the country, changing jobs, doing really stupid crap. Now I'm a bit more settled -- as settled as I can be, really.

WHAT'S REAL FOR ME RIGHT NOW IS WRITING, writing about Supernatural. I started in March and I can't freaking stop. I do it all day and into the night. The only time I stop is when I'm working, or watching Supernatural, or reading someone's else's stuff about Supernatural. Yes, obsessed with a capital OBSESSED. Don't care.

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I'M NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE. Frequently stupid, and hurt them when I don't mean to. But I'm good at writing, getting better, so people aren't meaning as much as they used to. Right now, I'm happier than I've ever been before, so I'm thinking to let people go and just write. If people want to stick through the awkwardness, okay. Not? Okay, too. Just let me write.

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WHILST - THANKS TO CLAVICAL - I used to have a note RIGHT HERE that hacked on people for using the word whilst. HATE THAT FREAKING WORD. I was hacking on whilst because it's not a common usage word in the U.S. But Clavical tells me that it IS in the U.K. (sigh) Sorry to anyone I might have offended in the U.K. Didn't realize. God, I hate not being perfect. What a pain.

HOWEVER, STICKING BY THIS ONE: SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE? ORBS? ORBS?! OH MY FUCKING GOD, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL EYES ORBS! WHEN I READ THAT IT ALMOST MAKES ME WANT TO NOT READ THE STORY. ORBS. GACK.

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WHAT IS IT ABOUT US THAT MAKES US WANT TO KEEP BREAKING SAM? Personally, I think it's because we want to keep fixing him.

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UH OH. Possible/probable that updating this profile is addictive.

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SOMETIMES, the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side. (Don't know who wrote this but I freaking LOVE IT!)

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LISTEN, THERE'S THIS ONE STORY EVERYONE SHOULD READ. It's called Merry Go Rounds and Burial Grounds, by PoisonComeUndone. It's one of the best stories I've ever read. SERIOUSLY FUCKING GOOD READ.

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MY MOM SAID SHE WANTED TO SEE WHAT I WAS WRITING. I said, Ma, come on, you've never seen the show, you won't have any frame of reference, you won't be able to follow it. But she's oh no, I want to see what you're writing. I gave her the link to my page and haven't heard from her since. Two weeks! I told her she didn't have to like it. So she's either read it and hates it, read it and has no clue what to say or hasn't read it and feels guilty and doesn't want to tell me.

I DIDN'T EVEN GIVE HER THE LINK TO THIS WEBSITE cause I didn't want her to freak out that I write erotica (Wincest). Gave her the squeaky clean link over at Supernaturalville. So what the hell? Hey, maybe she's dead and nobody told me. UPDATE: Okay, heard from Mom and she says she likes the Fledgling and that she knew I was talented. Huh. Far as I know she hasn't read anything else. We'll see. Really not her scene, so I'm glad she made the effort.

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