My name shall remain unknown. Call me dreamer ;)
Age: CREEPER!!!!
I love animals. My favourites are wolves and foxes. Foxes are sneaky, and wolves will tear you to shreds.
I 'fantasize' about things. My perfect life with my crush, me meeting my favourite bands, being a witch in Harry Potter, being able to shift into any animal I wish, being a fairy (Wings. 'nuff said.), and lots more. :D
I am Canadian. We rule.
I love to swim but am afraid of drowning.
I do read and review stories when it's not 3am and I'm too lazy too
I love Harry Potter fics. My favourites are Draco/OC (I like it when the OC is Harry's little sister, twin sister, when the sister and him hate each other, and I've never seen one where the OC is Pansy's sister. I would like it if someone wrote one. I'd write it myself, but my only idea is for one paragraph around the middle of the story.)
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kindof girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I must be UGLY
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist(I hate this stereotype very much...)
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST need conversion
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile
If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself. So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever ran into a sliding glass door paste this into your profile.
Favourite Quotes:
""Puck turned to Sabrina. "What is she doing down there?" "Hiding, I guess." Puck leaned down and poked his head under the seat. "I found you." Ms. Smirt shrieked. Puck lifted himself up to his full height and laughed. "She's fun." He leaned back down and she screamed again. "I could do this all day. Can I keep her?""-Puck, Sabrina, and Ms.Smirt(The Sisters Grimm)
""So Henry," Puck said as he kicked off his shoes and propped his smelly feet on the kitchen table. "I was wondering what you can tell me about puberty." Henry turned pale and stammered. Sabrina wanted to crawl under the table and die."-Puck(The Sisters Grimm)
""That's the coolest thing I've ever seen," Puck said. "How cool will it be when it kills us?" Sabrina asked. "Considerably less cool," Puck replied."-Puck and Sabrina(The Sisters Grimm)
"I know he's a bit old to be living at home with his mom, but he's had a difficult time holding a job. He's worked at Wendy's, Taco Bell, and Burger King, but it all ends the same way- he challenges his manager to combat, takes over the restaurant, and enslaves his coworkers. Then it's back to video games." - Morgan le Fay(The Sisters Grimm)
"There's nothing like walking around the city with a big ol' head of broccoli"- Daphne(The Sisters Grimm)
"May the odds be ever in your favor"- Effie Trinket(The Hunger Games)
"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can." Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?" Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?" "Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries." Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand." "I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said. "And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."-Percy, Thalia, Grover, and Zoe(Percy Jackson)
“You’re dead, Potter.” “Funny, you’d think I’d have stopped walking around…”-Draco and Harry, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“You should write a book. Translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.”-Ron, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“Harry, don’t go picking a row with Malfoy, don’t forget, he’s a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…” “Wow, I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life?”-Hermione and Harry, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“I had a dream about Quidditch last night. What do you think that means?” “I dunno. Probably means you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something.”- Ron and Harry, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“You know what? We could order anything we liked in here, I bet that bloke would sell us anything, he wouldn’t care. I’ve always wanted to try firewhiskey-“ “You-are-a-prefect!” “Oh. Yeah.”- Ron and Hermione, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“This is night, Dudley. That’s what they call it when it goes all dark like this.”-Harry
“He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.”-Fred
“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?” “Yes,” said Harry stiffly. “Yes, sir.” “There’s no need to call me “sir” Professor.” The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”-Severus Snape and Harry
"Cinderella? Snow White? What’s that? An illness?”-Ron
"HOW DID THIS ESCALATE?!"-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"Get the building out of the way!"-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"Now I'm just gonna fucking freeze them, and then we can do more STOMPING and TROMPING!"-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"Your name will live on, regardless of tonight's outcome. You will be missed- I mean, we love you."-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"This has been a test. Only a test. If this was a real emergency, you'd see people doing this. *waves arms frantically and runs around in a circle* Oh my god! Oh no!"-Dave Rosin (Hedley)
"I'd do anything to not be bored. Anything. Anything at all."-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"Don't stick your finger in the cow's butt. Right?"-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"There's ADD, ADHD and then there's Jacob)."-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"They could use my body for science, if possible. Or, just math."-Jacob Hoggard (Hedley)
"'A one-eyed cat.' 'Or a three-eyed cat.' 'Hey! Let's keep the cats out of this!'" Tommy, Jake and Dave (Hedley)
"In, under, around and through. That's the way we wipe our-I mean, tie our shoes."-Tommy Mac (Hedley)
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.
I am the girl that people look through when I say something.
I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.
I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.
I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.
BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with books, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. If this sounds like you Copy and paste this on your profile
COME TO THE DARK SIDE- WE HAVE COOKIES!
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A,B,C,D,E,F,G, gummy bears are chasing me, one is red and one is blue, one is peeing on my shoe, now I'm running for my life, cause the red one has a knife!
If Youtube, Twitter and Facebook all combined into one website, it would be called "You Twit Face."
93 percent of American teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person 'What was your first clue?' 'Your point being?' 'You just realized this now?' or 'Wow, you're even more stupid than you look.', your the only people who understand sarcasm.
My name is Sarah,
I am but three.
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.
I must be stupid,
I must be bad.
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly.
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all,
I can't do a wrong,
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long.
When I awake I'm all alone.
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight.
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car!
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls,
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping,
He shouts ugly words.
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more.
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it,
And I start to bawl.
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream,
But its now much too late.
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it
"You're just jealous 'cause the little voices are talking to me.
"The Boy-Who-Lived died and lived again."
At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.
When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.
When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.
When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.
When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.
When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.
When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.
When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.
When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.
When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.
When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.
When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.
When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.
And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. Never take your dad for granted, you have no idea what you are missing. Love him and thank him while he's alive.
Comebacks For Girlies
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman:Hiding from you.
Man:Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman:Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman:Yes, and it will be if you sit down.
Man:Your place or mine?
Woman:Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man:So, what do you do for a living?
Woman:I'm a female impersonater.
Man:I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman:Yeah, but would you stay there?
Man: Your eyes are amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be amazing.
Man:What's your number?
Woman:911
Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast
Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me you love me, i'll slow down
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.
Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)
Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i will slow down.
Girl: (puts helmet on her head)
Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a helmet. In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he gave her his helmet so she could live.
A guy gets a girl 11 real roses and one fake rose. When he gave her the 12 roses, he said,"I'll love you until the last one dies."
FRIENDS: never ask for anything to eat or drink when they're at your house
BEST FRIENDS: are the reason why you have no food
FRIENDS: call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and grandpa, by Grandpa
BEST FRIENDS: call your parents by DAD and MOM and grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: would bail you out of jail
BEST FRIENDS: would be sitting next to you saying, "MAN!! We screwed up!"
FRIENDS: have never seen you cry
BEST FRIENDS: won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore
FRIENDS: ask you to write down your number
BEST FRIENDS: have you on speed dial
FRIENDS: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back
BEST FRIENDS: loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: only knows a few things about you
BEST FRIENDS: could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: will leave you behind if that's what the crowd's doing
BEST FRIENDS: will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you
FRIENDS: would knock on your front door
BEST FRIENDS: walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"
FRIENDS: you have to tell them not to tell
BEST FRIENDS: already know not to tell
FRIENDS: would give you the option to let you obsess over what ever you want
BEST FRIENDS: would eventually make you obsess over something you thought you would never love until you try
FRIENDS: are through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: are for life
FRIENDS: will be there to take your drink away from you if they think you had enough
BEST FRIENDS: will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "BOTCH! Drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.
When somebody annoys you, it takes up 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and punch the hell outa them. You can do so 10 times and still have 2 muscles to waste!
If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them
If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them
If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them
If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them
If you can't KILL them, you're SCREWED
I have a tendency to talk to myself.
If you think that you would be a pile of soot without the sisters grimm copy and paste this on your profile and add your name to the list: Elligoat,Sabrinagrimm,America's Ham, Puckabrina Dreamer,
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be one laughing like an idiot, do the drill!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have spent multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you're in denial over Briar Rose’s death copy and paste this into your profile. SHE IS NOT DEAD!
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
If you have ever made up your own language just for fun, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.
-I had a friend once. Then his rope broke and he ran for it
95% of teens would have a breakdown if the Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump. Copy and paste if you are on of the 5 that would bring popcorn and watch :)
95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, you're exactly like me!
If Joe Jonas was about to jump off the Eiffel Tower 95% of all the girls in the world would die. Would you be one of the 5% with popcorn yelling "do a flip!"?
The one who smiles when all goes wrong has thought of someone to blame
if olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Yeah, I'm a freak. BUT I'M THE COOLEST FREAK YOU'LL EVER MEET!!
Love your enemies. And that's only one way to annoy them!
If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.
If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)
If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.
Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.
If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Azmanig huh?
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever asked a stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Girls are like
apples on trees.The best
ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for
the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples
at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the way
to the top
of the tree.
Things To Ponder
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.
Whoever said nothing's impossible, they never tried slamming a revolving door! Or nailing jello or water to a tree.. I'm not talking about freezing the water either.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, 'Oh, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, buttface!'
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Do people in England sit around and try to sound like Americans, like we try and have British accents?
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
America is a free country. Of course, you can't get that freedom until you are eighteen, but that's okay, because when you do turn eighteen, you get a bunch of privlieges, like doing jury duty, paying taxes, and paying off bills...
A stranger will stab you in the back, a friend will stab you in the front, a boyfriend will stab you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!
I talk back to the TV (often quite loudly)
I have choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on)
I think Writer's Block sucks.
I don't care when people make fun of me, but when someone makes fun of my friends I automatically think of numerous, painful ways to kill them.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE, then it's weird. Actually, I have lost. My mother then posed this question to me, “If you lost, then who won?”
I hear voices of the characters in my head...
I walk into a room then forget what I'm doing, then start walking away, then remember.
I probably need a life, but I have no intentions of getting one!
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!"
It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.
I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.
At the start of your life, you will be awarded a lifetime supply of air. Use it wisely.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.
I don't want to rain on your parade, I just want to blow up all the floats!
Before you criticize you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?"
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved problems?
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important. school however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
Don’t mess with me, I've got a stick
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!!
When life gives you lemons, throw it in the trash and tell life you'd rather have money.
1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel... of course, it's usually the oncoming train
The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.
If you still reread “The Sisters Grimm”, copy and paste this on your profile.
Boy-or-Girl ... Survey thing (Bold is yes, normal is no.)
Boy Part:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night
Girl Part:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joke of it.
Like being the star of everything
Favourite Band(s)
Black Veil Brides
Asking Alexandria
SayWeCanFly
Hollywood Undead
Blood on the Dance Floor
Nickelback
Ed Sheeran (NOT one direction)
Favourite Food(s)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich (When cooked to a light golden brown, otherwise, I'll throw it out the window :P)
Favourite Song(s) (A LOT!)
Old School- Hedley (Lyrics are below..)
Someone, Somewhere - Asking Alexandria
Youth and Whiskey - Black Veil Brides
Moving On - Asking Alexandria
Lost It All - Black Veil Brides
Not the American Average - Asking Alexandria
Hedley- Old School Lyrics
Don't believe everything happiness says
Nothing feels better than hiding these days
We bury our fears in the drinks, in these tears
For the days we believed we could fly
Call up your brothers and sisters and friends
We'll go back to the place where the night never ends
We'll remember the fires, the burning car tires
Boy how in the hell did we get here?
So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away
Over and over and over again
We sat down for a minute, grew up into men
Now we're putting out fires and changing car tires
Man how in hell did we get here?
So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away this time
And we'll never get back what we gave away,
When we still have that fire in our eyes
Don't believe everything happiness says
Nothings as real as our old reckless ways
When we drink by the fires
The burning car tires
Bad girls and good liars
The dreams we'd conspire
The days we went crazy
The nights wild and hazy
Man how in the hell did we get here?
So why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away
Why don't you meet me, down behind the old school
We'll waste away the weekend, with perfect regard for how
Cavalier we used to be, that beautiful insanity
The apathy's surrounding me
Don't close your eyes or we'll fade away
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later
Popular Last Words:
"Oops."
"I didn't know that part came off."
"Oh $@#%."
"Hey, honey! Look!"
"No hands!"
"I don't think that's supposed to bend that way."
"I can too!"
"It's perfectly harmless."
"OF COURSE I know what I'm doing."
I'm strange... but whatever strange is to you, I'm worst- and that's what makes me a stranger. do you get it? No? you don't? well then now you've learned never to talk to strangers...
Feel free to PM me anytime you like. But just to warn you, when I run out of things to talk about, I stop responding. :P
I don't suffer from Johnny Depp addiction, I enjoy every minute of it. Paste THIS in your profile
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your face off.
If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs, CAPTIYP
if you have ever laughed in a silent room because of something you heard yesterday CAPTIYP
if you have ever ran into a tree while running CAPTIYP
if you have ever ran into a door CAPTIYP
if you have ever asked a random obvious question CAPTIYP
if you want those stupid annoying voices in your head to just SHUT UP already CATIYP
FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.
FRIENDS: Will pass you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and runs.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"
FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this!
I promise to remember Tonks Each time time I knock something down.
And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley Whenever I’m out of town.
I promise not to obey traffic laws For Sirius’s sake of course.
And I promise to remember Lupin When my heart fills with remorse.
I promise to remember Arthur Whenever I am at St Mungo’s Room.
And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins Every time fireworks boom.
I promise to remember Lily When I see someone that holds pure beauty.
And I promise to remember Dobby Whenever a pair of socks spots me.
I promise to remember Teddy When I see someone with turquoise hair.
And I promise to remember Molly When someone tells me they care.
I promise to remember Ginny Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.
And I promise to remember the death eaters When someone speaks of dominating the world.
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the wizards know
Put this in your profile if you always were, are, and will be a Harry Potter fan for the rest of your life.
A wise woman once said: Harry Potter and friends will continue to live on in the hearts, minds and souls of his fans for forever and ever.
put this
(o)on ur page
if u like music
When life gives to lemons, throw them at life and say "I WANTED LIMES!"
Reality is more fun when you make it up
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid!
Words may hurt me, but sticks and stones will bounce off my force field
So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?
I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it.
Love your enemies. it pisses them off
Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to
Tell the truth and run
When in doubt, say a quote
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?
When in doubt, make up words!
Ask no questions and I will tell no lies.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, the rest of our lives they tell us to just sit down and shut up
You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it!
A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it!
I'm not insensitive, I just dont care
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder.
What would happen if the whole world farted at once?
On a scale of one to awesome, that was purple.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't -- Hey! Nice carpet!"
I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna to do? Kill me?
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
It's you and me against the world - we attack at dawn.
Life is just one bad thing after another. Unless it's a bunch of bad things all at once.
If you get good grades and still don't know anything at all copy this onto your profile
Normal people worry me.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.
First law of science: don't spit into the wind
May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!
take my advice i dont use it anyway
Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!
What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck
Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.
First law of science: don't spit into the wind
May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!
theres always a light at the end of a tunnel just pray its not a train!
take my advice i dont use it anyway
Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle!
What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck
Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
Homework? Do I pay school money to work at home!?
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose
There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose
There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
The road to success is always under construction
By the time you read this, you've already read it
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
Dont steal, the government hates competition
The higher you are, the farther you fall... so keep yur job at burger king!
How to annoy people
WARNING only read this if you wish to lower your life expectancy by a huge amount
Accuse people of "glue sniffing addictions" in public.
Add blank entries to a list, to make it look like it's longer.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
After visiting the local donut shop, sit on the floor cross-legged and insist in a childish voice that you haven't received enough chocolate sprinkles.
Announce when you're going to the bathroom.
Answer every question with another question.
As soon as one of you says a statement instead of a question, shout "I win!".
Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
As people talk, smell their shoulders.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")
Ask people what gender they are.
Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
At a restaurant, repeatedly send your food back for changes and after awhile insist that, "This isn't what I ordered!"
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
ONLY TYPE IN CAPITALS
The next time someone says "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me " HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!
Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary
I didn't fall for you, you tripped me.
Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?
Don't follow me, I'm lost too
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I've found it?
I'm sick of following my dreams, I'm just gonna ask where their going and hook up with them later
Doctors say I have multiple personalitys. We disagree with that.
I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
If the world is full of crazy people, THEY'D MAKE ME THEIR LEADER.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubburn to ask for directions.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
Have seen my sanity? I seem to have lost it
364 days of the years kids are told not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween it's encouraged! Why is that?
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed
Things To Ponder:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
What disease did cured ham have?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?
Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?
How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
Why do we shut up, but quiet down?
For all the girls who...
...have fallen and have yet to get back up. ...are broken and can't find the glue. ...have aching fingers. ...are finding it harder and harder to hold on. ...are afraid of heights. ...are expert mountain climbers. ...have no one waiting to catch them.
For all the girls still waiting on their prince, you are beautiful.
()()
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If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If you ever watched a movie so many times you know all the words to it then copy and paste this to your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If while reading someone's fan fiction you LOVED it so much that you wanted to track that person down and give them a flying-takle-hug to show how much you loved their work copy and paste this to your profile
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profie
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile
REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was COOTIES?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and RACE ISSUES were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
As evil as Voldemort seems, he cared about Harry Potter's education. He waited until the end of the year to try to destroy him :)
I officially thank you for stalking my profile. Have a good day!! :)