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Joined Aug '11

Hello there! I'm Erin, welcome to my profile!

faorite random quotes

We're gonna summon a griffin. In native tree elf. To find an one hundred and twenty fiver year old man who may or may not be alive. Thats our plan?

-That girl on spiderwick chronicles

i hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like

if i throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul

-random person on tumblr

it as though you are an artist and awkward is your medium.

- Nora seargent being Human U.S.

It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.

- somebody on tumblr

Disclaimer: How about this? As soon as I hit the lottery, develop the ability to telepathically influence the decisions of others, buy the rights to the Harry Potter universe from the great and most admirable J.K. Rowling, and therefore own Harry Potter, I'll let you know. Until then, let's just assume I don't.
- Philyra912

"Malfoy, are you trying to tell me you use the name 'mudblood' as a term of endearment?" (Hermione)

"Exactly" (Draco)

"Why do i find that hard to believe?" (Hermione)

"Because you didn't read it in a book." (Draco)

-Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy from the fanfiction Gryffindors in Slytherin and Sytherins in Hufflepuff.

Long lost triplet asleep on the couch, mythological monkey monster right there with her and a descendant of a goddess unconscious and tied to a chair. Clearly, the amount of normalcy in my life is severely limited. - Greer, Sweet Shadows

That's what masquerade parties are! It's like facebook, but real. - New Year's Eve

My night in shining armor turned out to be a geek in aluminum foil

I'm not clumsy the floor just hates me

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..• • • • X Supernatural X..• • • •
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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

My mother taught me REASON
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen


My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times--Don't

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY!
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
somethinwrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

There are all kinds of art. There's the art of drawing, the art of dancing, the art of science, and of course the refined art of being an idiot

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where Chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

I'm going to go give him a piece of my mind, but not my brain I need that.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Best friends, it’s who we are . . . instead of saying "excuse me" we push each other out of the way and say "move". We hug each other and laugh at any random moment. We argue about the stupidest things then we find out we were both wrong.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

You have enemies? Good, because that means you've stood for something sometime in your life.

I am who I am. Your approval isn't needed.

Be yourself - it's the only thing people can't say you're doing wrong.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

Earth is the Insane Asylum for the universe

I have to speak my mind because what is in my mind is always more interesting than what is happening in the world outside my mind.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout

They say the truth will set you free, so why is it that whenever I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Don’t mess with me: I've got a stick.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my freaking soda"

Trying is the first step toward failure.

“I am sick of people having a near death experiences and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” TonyV.

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.


· If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
· What disease did cured ham have?
· Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every hour and a half?
· Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?
· Instead of “All things in moderation,” shouldn’t it be “Some things in moderation”?
· Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?
· Why is it called quicksand when it sucks you down very, very slowly?
· When French people swear, do they say, “Pardon my English”?
· Why is it called the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
· Why are they called marbles if they’re made out of glass?
· If everyone lost five pounds at the same time, would it throw the Earth out of its orbit?
· What color hair do bald men put on their driver’s license?
· How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
· How do you throw away a garbage can?
· Why do we put our suits in a garment bag and our garments in a suitcase?
· When two airplanes almost collide, why is it a “near miss”? Shouldn’t it be a “near hit”?
· How can something be both “new” and “improved”?
· Why do we shut up, but quiet down?
· How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place

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