Name: Gur40goku (no I'm not giving my name)
Birthday: August 7th (lucky #7)
Age: Teen- COLLEGE STUDENT-???
Weight:-_- Seriously now...
Personality: I have a weird personality. Let's just say that I can be really quiet when I need to and I can be. I'm also a very good liar. Oh, I'm also nice (hopefully), very, very random, persuasive, and a little anti-social sometimes.
Favourite numbers: 7 and 13(what?).
Favourite color:Green and/or Blue (Turquoise)
Favorite food: Pizza and Gelato
Things I like: Digimon, Pokemon Special/Pokemon Adventures, One Piece, Avatar:The Last Airbender, Fairy Tail, Code Geass and Dr. Who also What ever else I like
Things I dislike: WHAT I DISLIKE SHIPPUDEN Sasuke GABRIEL FUCKING AGRESTE
If you press red buttons regardless of what it might do, paste this on your profile.
If you went crazy over the four week break in One Piece a while back, paste this on your profile.
If you think Sabo is alive somewhere with a good reason to stay hidden, paste this on your profile.(CONFIRMED)
If you are just plain weird and proud of it, paste this on your profile.
If you don't think 13 is unlucky, paste this on your profile.
If you're sad that there are no crossovers between two of your fave animes/shows etc., paste this on your profile.
If you are asian and PROUD OF IT, paste this on your profile.
If you love the three Dragon Slayers from Fairy Tail, paste this on your profile.
If you are a fan of Edolas Fairy Tail, paste this on your profile.
If you DON'T bash Lisanna, and actually happen to LIKE her, paste this on your profile.
WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'
Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
THE MAN RULES
It's simply hilarious. Oh, and I didn't write this, by the way. I have no idea who did.
ALL OF THEM ARE NUMBERED ONE JUST BECAUSE.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Gurl: Hiding from you.
Guy: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Gurl: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Guy: Is this seat empty?
Gurl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Guy: Your place or mine?
Gurl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Guy: So, what do you do for a living?
Gurl: I'm a female impersonator.
Guy: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Gurl: Do not enter.
Guy: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Guy: Your body is like a temple.
Gurl: Sorry, there are no services today.
Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Gurl: But would you stay there?
Guy : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Gurl: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Gurl: Really? 'Cause I'd put f and u together.
(if you find this funny then post this on your profile)
Friends & Best Friends
FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink
BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food
FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa
BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we really messed up
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number
BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
BESTFRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue"
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies)
BESTFRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough
BESTFRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste
FREINDS: Will ignore this
BESTFRIENDS: Will repost this
Thoughts on Gay Marriage:
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Have PRIDE! Support gay marriage
You're a 90's kid if:
You can finish this 'ice ice _"
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile
Position: Log Worshiper #8832472-30
Possible Book of Log Positions:
Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still recommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if konoha shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that shinobi is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.
& noun 4 sum thang cumplete-lee duffirant
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
Have you seen my mind? I seem to have lost it.
If all else fails, try reading the instructions.
Lying is the most fun a girl can have without owning a flamethrower. However, I own a flamethrower, and therefore, life holds more fun for me then just lying!
I'm not clumsy... The floor just hates me.
Smart is sexy.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Remember this, if someone is bothering you. It takes 40 muscles to frown, but it takes only three to stick up your middle finger and say, "Bite me!"
My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem...
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.
Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies…
When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
Perfect men are only fictional.
Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
Remember: Some people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
I'm not a complete idiot --Some parts are missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a life time commitment for a pig.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
"I once had a life. Now I have a computer."
"I have decided to marry my pillow. We are very happy together. The wedding date is the twenty fourth of November. I hope you can make it." Ah, weekday mornings...such happy times...
"Sleep is a pathological disorder caused by lacking amounts of caffeine in the bloodstream."
"Lesson: If you see a stranger, follow him." -Ed from Cowboy Bebop
"'Let's eat grandpa.' versus 'Let's eat, grandpa.' Commas save lives."
"Life isn't fair. Deal with it." - Mallori
"If practice makes perfect, and nobody is perfect, why bother to practice?" - Supermac18
"Your not crazy if you start to talk to yourself. Your crazy when you start answering yourself." - Mia
"The stupidest questions are the ones we ask ourselves."
"I can't just have you guys stare at me. you'll go crazy and I'll go crazy." - Mr. Netlles
"Wow... we're a circle of idiots." - Amy
"Hot chocolate is good for the soul."
"Appearance... honor... I don't have time for that ridiculous old fashioned thinking." - Gaara
"If I promise not to kill you, can i have a hug?" Pon or Zi.
"You're a team player, a save the day superhero. I hate people like you." - Hiei
"You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend...well, that would just be ok." - Spongebob
"You got lots of time to be old... ask me about it." - Mr. Mumford
"I got a jar of dirt! I got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" - Jack Sparrow, Dead Man's Chest
"It looks like it's going to vomit poison on us." - Mayuri
"So tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity?"- Hiei
"When you step in a puddle, don't blame the puddle."- A crazy talkshow host.
"I have talked to, and come to an understanding with every single one of the 536,329 people contained inside of me!" - Hoenhiem
"Sanity? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place!" - Kenpachi
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill very many people.
You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff
Eat right, exercise, die anyway.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
Quite frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.
There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.
The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceed to tell you exactly why it isn't.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Doesn't 'expecting the unexpecting' make the unexpected expected?
I do visit reality, althought it's only on a tourist visa.
Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. When everyone around you bursts into flames, it's time for S'mores. -Jim Carrey Saturday Night Live
The definition of LOL: Acronym for 'laugh out loud'. Usually employed because the acronym for 'that joke you forwarded was not the least bit funny but i have so few friends outside of cyberspace that i am going to humor you by telling you it was so that I can continue this desperate nonfriendship electronically' (TJYFWNTLBFBIHSFFOOCTIAGTHYBTYIWSTICCTDNE) is a bit unwieldy.-Official Dictionary of Sarcasm
Bottled Water: Tap water made more palatable with a label with a mountain on it. -Official Dictionary of Sarcasm
I don't hate you. It's just...well, put it this way. If you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it :
I used to have a life but, that was before video games!
"I'm not an idiot. I am merely a bit insane. There is a fundamental difference between the two."
"Idiots don't think before they act and are incapable of accurately determining the repercussions of their actions." "Insane people merely have different logical rules that they naturally run by compared to the social standards of a society. The truly crazy have fundamental rules that are so off they go against basic animal instincts."
"Like self preservation?"
"Correct.- Ghost Oogakari
"There will come a day when you have lost all hope. There will come a day, when all is gone and forgotten in your life. There will come a day, when you no longer have the will to survive. There will come a day, when you have nothing, when you are hungry, homeless, penniless, and miserable. There will come a day when you are depressed and forlorn, when the world is nothing but a flat plain of suffering, and you are just a shell of a former person. And when that day does come...I'll be there to make it worse."
A/N: If any of these quotes were from someone else, they get full credit, 'kay? Thanks!