Sex: Male

Age:20

Job: Eat, Sleep and play xD jkjk

Want to know more you have to ask and whatever you heard about me was a malicious lie spread by a group of break-dancing bunnies, that were pissed I won all their carrots in a poker game.

I FOREVER SUPPORT NARUTOXHINATA PAIRING. BELIEVE IT!

WILL ALWAYS HATE SAKURA IN THE ANIME AND MANGA!!!!

I love playing my 360 and read different stories mostly about Naruto with different girls

I also love watching Naruto, Bleach, All Gundam shows, Sword Art Online and more.

If you ever threatened a computer or video game console, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile.

If you think it's weird there's so much Yaoi, copy and paste this into your profile.

My favorite Power Rangers Pairing

Tommy O.XKimberly H. (Wish this was the cannon pairing for both Tv and comic's)

Jason L. S.XTrini K.

Rocky DeSantosXAisha Campbell

Favorite Naruto Pairings

NarutoXHinata (just a fan of these two)

NarutoXHarem (If its well writen)

NarutoXAnko

NarutoXFemKyuubi

NarutoXMei T.

NarutoXKurenai

NarutoXYugito (a big fan of these two even though i know it will never happen since she is dead)

NarutoXYugao

NarutoXShizune

NarutoXSamui

NarutoXKin

NarutoXTayuya

NarutoXFū (just like the Yugito one)

NarutoXMabui

NarutoXFemShinigami

NarutoXTemari

NarutoXHana

NarutoXShion

Dont Hate or Love Naruto Pairings

NarutoXOC (If it is well writen)

Hated Pairings

NarutoXany guy (i just dont like yaoi)

NarutoXSakura(but only as one/one I'm ok if she is in a harem with him and other girls)

SasukeXany girl(cuz deep down i think he is gay cuz all he thinks about is killing his brother through half the show but had to pick one it would only be Sakura since she cant seem to live with out him some how aka useless and hopeless fangirl FOREVER!!!)

anyone/FemNaruto (he should never be a girl its just way too wired for me will never read a story with those together and if i do i stop reading it because its just wrong to me)

Tommy O.XKat H. (Just didn't like how it was forced/written)

Jason L. S.XKimberly H. (I'm too much of a TommyXKimberly shipper and I hate how they were written/got together since friends don't do that to friends. If how they got together ever happened to me I would cut both out of my life even more so if I was that deeply in love with a girl like Tommy was)

ZODIAC SIGNS (Bold your Zodiac Sign)

AQUARIUS - The Slut (1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict (2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One (7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, Fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing. however not the kind of person you wanna mess with... u might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One. (6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One (3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits (11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One (4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life (9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Cute One (12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it… Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One (10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One (8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar (5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships. Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

We're a Dying Breed

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90% of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image. If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost

Please if you would Pass this around

I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground

If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. XD

Check this out...I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you could read this, copy and paste it onto your profile

The Laws of Anime

#1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

#3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6. Law of Temporal Variability Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7. First Law of Temporal Mortality 'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

#8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11. Law of Inherent Combustability Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13. Law of Energetic Emission There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.

#14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15. Law of Inexhaustability No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16. Law of Inverse Accuracy The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.

#17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability Minmei is a bimbo.

#18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19. Law of Demonic Consistency Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

#20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

#21. Law of Tactical Unreliability Tactical geniuses aren't...

#22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

#24. Law of Americanthropomorphism Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

#25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26. Law of Feline Mutation Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

a) be female

b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation

c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27. Law of Conservation of Firepower Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

#28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29. Law of Melee Luminescence Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32. Law of Follicular Permanence Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

#34. Law of Probable Attire Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines. --Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). --Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

#35. Law of Musical Omnipotence Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

#36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:

a) The Hero/Leader

b) His girlfriend

c) His Best Friend/Rival

d) A Hulking Brute

e) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: --Extreme Coolness --Amazing intelligence --Incredible Irritation

#37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice. First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39. Law of Inverse Attraction Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40. Law of Nasal Sanguination When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41. Law of Xylolaceration Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia There is no Law #43.

#44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

#45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46. Law of Flimsy Incognition Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. b) Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toasted.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklines- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive

BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away

BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down

BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me

BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me

FRIENDS: Ask me for my number

BEST FRIENDS: Ask me for her number

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops

BEST FRIENDS: are probably the reason they're after me in the first place

FRIENDS: let me make an idiot of myself in public

BEST FRIENDS: are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandma.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"OR, "LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Dude drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

I'd be this boyfriend:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her

When she stares at your mouth, kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you, grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet, ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you, give her your attention

When she pulls away, pull her back

When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared, protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up

When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does

When she misses you, she's hurting inside

When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away

When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin, she wants you to read it

When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go

When she says she's ok, don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

Let her know she's important.

Kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Whose ass am I kicking, babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will:

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do"

Things I learn from my mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My Mother taught me: Genetics

"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Stupid Racist People...

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.He then said:

"When I was born I was black,"

"When I grew up I was black,"

"When I'm sick I'm black,"

"When I go in the sun I'm black,"

"When I'm cold I'm black,"

"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."

"When you're born you're pink,"

"When you grow up you're white,"

"When you're sick, you're green,"

"When you go in the sun you turn red,"

"When you're cold you turn blue,"

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile

you say Hanna Montana i say AEROSMITH

you say Jonas brothers i say AC/DC

you say Rihanna i say TWISTED SISTER

you say Taylor Swift i say GUNS N ROSES

you say Justin Bieber i say FUCK YOU

95% of all teens today listen to that crappy pop music if you are one of the 5% that still listen to real music copy this to your profile

Profiles on- Storylover213, KillerDonut

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, zElDaPhAnToM-bLiNdBaNdIt-RaVeN, Firehawk, Rainfire, Snowfur, Rayne Star, i wish anime guys were real, XxcrimsonxgothicxtidexX, Hoshi-Naito, silently.doomed, crusnik.gunslinger,Flameus,Sen Ningyu no Sasori, KillerDonut

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, Dragoon321, son of wind, Delfim the Black Kitsune, KillerDonut

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather than reading, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV, then copy and paste this into your profile then add your name. RaeVenn-Chan, Fall-For-Deceit, PhoenixTears95, J Spiker, The Awsome Threesome, GilansApprentice, Dragonwings66, Serial-Doodler, Biisaiyowaq, gothsamphan14, Aurora Borealis 97,Easternbluebird, son of wind, Delfim the Black Kitsune, KillerDonut

Quotes that 100% true

"You could have the courage to face down an army of a thousand by yourself, but even the bravest of men quake in terror when they hear the words, 'Honey, we need to talk'."

"The greatest pain a man can have is to fall in love with a woman who will never love him back. It's the hardest pain a man can endure because it's a pain that never goes away."

"You can't control love, but you can control lust."

"The people should do what they can for their country. And the country should do what it can for its people."

"I'm trying not to always show just how much it hurts, but I'm waiting like everyone else for the appearance of a sunshine."

"A foolish man learns only from mistakes of his own, but a wise one learns from the mistakes of others as well."

25 Fun Things To Do At McDonald’s

1. Sit in a corner and pretend like you’re making out with yourself. (This works even better when 2 people are doing it separately.)

2. Pay entirely in pennies.

3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.

4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"

5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”

6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”

7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.

8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)

9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”

10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.

11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)

12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”

13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)

14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)

15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.

16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.

17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)

18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.

19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”

20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.

21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.

22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.

23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)

24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)

25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"

95% of teens today would die if their social network died. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 5% that would laugh like hell.

If you doubt your own sanity all the time, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you think it is disturbing how Orochimaru looks like a reincarnation of Voldemort or Michael Jackson, post this on your profile

In the famous word of Shikamaru "All women are Troublesome"

I SHALL REMAIN VIGILANT AND UNYIELDING IN MY PURSUIT OF THE ENEMINS OF THE COALITION.

I WILL DEFEND AND MAINTAIN THE ORDER OF LIFE AS IT WAS PROCLAIMED BY THE ALLFATHERS OF THE COALITION IN THE THE OCTUS CANON.

I WILL FORSAKE THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE SO I MAY PERFORM MY DUTY AS LONG AS I AM NEEDED.

STEADFAST.

I SHALL HOLD MY PLACE IN THE MACHINE AND ACKNOWEDGE MY PLACE IN THE COALITION.

I AM A GEAR.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Akihiro Asamoto, Corvin, 9tail_Naruto, FlameKaiser, NoNameNeeded, Kyuuki-sama, Seraph of Shadows, Uncle Joe, Nuk1014, Leo Harck, KillerDonut

FAKE VS. REAL

FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.

REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.

REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.

REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.

REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.

REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.

REAL FRIENDS: Will re-post it

If you hate the NaruSaku couple then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate the SasuSaku couple then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate the SasuSaku all together then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're convinced Sasuke is gay and emo, copy and paste this into your profile.

THE WE LOVE SASUKE-BASHING CLUB: If you hate Sasuke from NARUTO and love making him suffer, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Kinomi-chan, EstherAngelofDeath, 9shadowcat9, AkatsukiMascot, VampireArgonian92, Kanervdss, Shinonigga, GravityTheWizard, ThymistaclesTenshi Namikaze, Boy of Anime,TUAOA:MORRISTOFOX, nepo92, KillerDonut

If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381,Terror of the Azure Flame, RoyalTwinFang,TheDemonKingNaruto, dracohalo117, KillerDonut

REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.

From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.

Tom and the Absolution 1997-2008

A great Character and a funny host

You will live on forever in this.

If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and know wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black (original poster of this memorial).

Stereotypes...You know you hate 'em. You know they need to be stopped. You know you love copying and pasting a plethora of shit to your profile. Why not add this, eh?

I'mSKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I must be stuck-up

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

II have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! (Guilty as charged of being part albino...according to my doctor...)

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see."

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue

Murphy's War Law

1. Friendly fire - isn't.

2. Recoilless rifles - aren't.

3. Suppressive fires - won't.

4. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

5. A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

6. If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

7. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

8. If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.

9. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

10. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

11. Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

12. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

13. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

14. The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

15. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: -when they're ready. -when you're not.

16. No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

17. There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

18. Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

19. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

20. A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping. The Ol' Ranger's addendum: Or else they're trying to suck you into a serious ambush!

21. The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

22. The easy way is always mined.

23. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

24. Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire... For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

25. Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

26. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

27. When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

28. Incoming fire has the right of way.

29. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

30. No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

31. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

32. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

33. Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

34. Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.

35. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

36. Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather (and especially during both).

37. Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

38. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

39. Tracers work both ways.

40. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

45. Weather ain't neutral.

46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you.

47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.'

48. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

49. Napalm is an area support weapon.

50. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

51. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

52. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

53. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

54. The one item you need is always in short supply.

55. Interchangeable parts aren't.

56. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

57. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

58. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

59. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

60. If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

61. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.

62. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.

63. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.

64. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.

65. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.

66. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.

67. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.

68. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

69. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss.

70. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.

71. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.

72. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

73. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

74. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.

75. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.

76. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism (in boot camp).

77. Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.

78. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.

79. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.

80. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want.

81. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism, to steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.

82. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.

83. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that bill is filled by someone else.

84. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack, when you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.

85. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor.

86. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.

87. Murphy was a grunt.

88. Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

89. Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.

90. The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.

91. All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather.

92. The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.

93. The crucial round is a dud.

94. Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.

95. There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.

96. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last and don't ever volunteer to do anything.

97. If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you, if your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it, if your flank march is going well the enemy expects you to outflank him.

98. Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.

99. Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.

100. The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

101. The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).

102. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.

103. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.

104. The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

105. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands right at your feet.

106. As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.

107. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

108. The seriousness of a wound (in a fire-fight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover.

109. Walking point = sniper bait.

110. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.

111. If only one solution can be found for a field problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

112. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.

113. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

114. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.

115. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

116. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

117. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

118. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

119. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

120. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss.

121. Don't be conspicuous; in the combat zone it draws fire, out of the combat zone it draws sergeants, if they can see you, so can the enemy... All or any of the above combined.

122. Avoid loud noises, there are few silent killers in a combat zone.

123. Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life.

124. Never expect any rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short is the ration of shit.

125. Respect all religions in a combat zone, take no chances on where you may go if killed.

126. A half filled canteen is a beacon for a full loaded enemy weapon.

127. When in a fire fight, kill as many as you can, the one you miss may not miss tomorrow.

128. It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo.

129. If you survive an ambush, something's wrong.

130. If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too.

131. Flashlights, lighters and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area; they illuminate you too.

132. Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet, doesn't mean you don't have exposed areas.

133. There are few times when the enemy can't hear you: When he's dead, you're dead, or both. Addendum: When he's not there, when you're not there, or both.

134. Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using his cadaver is a stretch to avoid being shot "just in case."

135. You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first.

136. Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up.

137. You have two mortal enemies in combat; the opposing side and your own rear services.

138. You think the enemy has better artillery support and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right.

139. Three things you will never see in combat; hot chow, hot showers, and an uninterrupted night's sleep.

140. "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms.

141. Once you are in the fight it is way too late to wonder if this is a good idea.

142. NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition then the other guy.

143. Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest.

144. Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough.

145. If the rear echelon troops are really happy, the front line troops probably do not have what they need.

146. If you are wearing body armor they will probably miss that part.

147. Happiness is a belt fed weapon.

148. Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative.

149. If you are allergic to lead it is best to avoid a war zone.

150. Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations, which are better than no food at all. All of these, however, are preferable to cold rice balls even if they do have little pieces of fish in them.

151. A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics.

152. Medals are OK, but having your body and all your friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.

153. Being shot hurts.

154. Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day, a few were even awarded.

155. There is only one rule in war: When you win, you get to make up the rules.

156. C-4 can make a dull day fun.

157. There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose.

158. If you win the battle you are entitled to the spoils.

159. If you lose you don't care.

160. Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you are going to do tomorrow, what is important is what you are doing -- NOW -- to solve our problem.

161. Always make sure someone has a can opener.

162. Prayer may not help . . . but it can't hurt.

163. Flying is better than walking, walking is better than running, running is better than crawling. All of these, however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac even if it is technically, is a form of flying.

164. If everyone does not come home none of the rest of us can ever fully come home either.

165. Carrying any weapon that you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is NOT A GOOD IDEA! -A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot. -Not only that, AKs use green tracers which mean "shoot 'em all and let God sort them out".

166. As has been noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry That I cared

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If you're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl.