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Divine Protector of Skyrim PM
Biography
Joined Mar '12

Personal Stuff

Age: between my fist and none of your business

Name: Divine Protector of Skyrim, Divine Protector of All Food, Percy Jackson the Dragonborn, Percy Jackson or seaweedbrain. (Newest to oldest)

Fav. Books: Percy Jackson, Ranger's Apprentice, Brotherband Chronicles, Guardians of Ga'Hoole, and a lot more.

Fav. Games: Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, Minecraft, Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed, Halo, Lego games.

Preferred game console: Xbox 360

Fav. Pastimes: Reading Fanfiction, writing Fanfiction, playing Skyrim, riding my bike, hanging out with my two bros, playing Call of Duty black ops Zambies.

Sports: Wrestling, Longsword fencing

Lives in: Salt Lake City, Utah, USA


AU- Alternate Universe

OC- Original Character

OOC- Out of Character

Mary-sue- an all around perfect OC that ruins the whole story.

CC- Constructive criticism

Flames- a comment or review that only points out faults and is stated harshly.

IC- In character

AN- Author's note

R&R- Read & review

POV- Point of view


Quotes:

"Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head."

--Unknown

"Books are always better than real, live boyfriends any day of the week. They don't talk back and they're always there for you. You can have as many of them as you want and they won't complain."

--Unknown

"God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft."

--Anon

"A friend will console you when you're rejected by that person you like, but a REAL friend would march right up to them and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

--Anon

"Well behaved women rarely make history."

--Unknown

"Acknowledging that you know nothing is the first step along the road of wisdom."

--Harald of Atorma, Unforeseen Variable Chapter 13 by FractiousDay

"I might've of been gone but I never walked out."

--Worry List by Blue October

"I'm no saint-that is, unless you think a saint is a sinner who keeps on trying."

--Nelson Mandela

"Idiots, there getting even more idiotic by the day"

--Me


Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just than an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .

The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.

Pray for the Military.\


Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...


If you HATE stereotypes; BOLD all the things you are.

I’m SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I’m EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I’m BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.

I’m JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I’m GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I’m ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I’m RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I don’t have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I’m a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I’m IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I’m INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I’m NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I’m a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a bitch

I’m RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I’m “GOOD LOOKIN”, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I have STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST not have a social life.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I’m a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I’m COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I’m GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.

I’m a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.

I play VIDEO GAMES, so I MUST be a nerd.

I’m BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I’m BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I’m a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I’m SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I’m CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I’m MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I’m MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I’m in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I’m BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I’m GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I’m ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I’m YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I wear what I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be depressed.

I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.

I’m POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher’s pet.

I SMILE a lot, so I MUST be preppy.

I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries.

I’m a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.

I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT…I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I am A DREAMER, so I MUST be unrealistic.

I HAVE MANY DIFFERENT INTERESTS, so I MUST be unable to commit to one thing.

I’m a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.


Wired/Funny Stuff

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on!

If you're weird, then you're normal. If you're normal, then you're weird.

Anaditdaephobia- the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

Sarcasm- a way to insult stupid people without them knowing it.

Oh? Rock beats paper? Okay, you try defending yourself with paper when I throw a rock at you.

Don't steal, the government doesn't like competition.

If electricty comes from electrons does that mean morality comes from morons

when you die in an elevator rember to press the UP! BUTTON

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

The only reason I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile

Opens mailbox and skims through mail* "Junk...junk...junk...coupon...ooo they're having a sale at Bob's Buffalo Buffet...junk...junk...UGH! I joined the dark side years ago! Why do they keep sending me brochures!" *Throws down mail and stomps inside then runs back out* "I almost forgot my coupon!"

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

People who say nothing's impossible, they never tried to slam a revolving door.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

"Be eco-friendly and turn off the lights when you leave the room. How would you like it if someone turned you on and then left?"

() ()
(0.0)
(_._)

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies) (:)(:)(:)(:) =)

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I used all my sick days, so I called in dead...

So, if guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Yeah, I'm a loser. But the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

Save the Earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because, I mean, really? Who likes lemons?

When Life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.

Life isnt passing by me; it's trying to run me over.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept!

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

I live in my own little world. But it's okay, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and it is in
fact frowned upon in most societies.

I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends.

I got you a present; it's a CD. I hope you haven't got it, because I don't have a receipt... and I didn't exactly buy it...

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!

When in doubt, make up words!

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

If you're gonna be two-faced, sweetie at least make one of them pretty.

All work and no play means you will die in seven days... dun dun duuun.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank You for embracing it!

Come to the Dark Side... we have cookies!

Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the Internet and they won't bother you for
weeks!

Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes!

The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're
okay, then it's you.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but there is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of
TEAM...

Music is like candy: You throw away the (w)rappers.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question... I wonder...

My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Do not take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework. I'm not random, I just have many tho- OOH, LOOK! A SQUIRREL!

Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

Welcome to the internet, pants optional.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again.

If I throw a stick, will you go away?

WHY CHILDREN ARE ADORABLE

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

--The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

--One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

--A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

--A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"


A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut. No-one knows she was raped at 13. People call a girl fat. No-one knows she has a serious disease which causes her to be over weight. People call an old man ugly. No-one knows he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Repost this if you're against bullying and stereotyping. 95% of you won't. "

-See that boy doing his homework in home room? He couldn't do it last night because he was busy talking his friend out of suicide.

-See that girl, with her face caked in make-up? She's bullied, she needs to feel beautiful.

-See him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? He covers his arms to hide the scars.

-See her, with the cheap hand-me-down clothes? Her family can't afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names.

-See that girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? She cries herself to sleep every night. Wonder why she never lets her friends over to her house? Because she's afraid they'll see her mum passed out drunk on the floor, as always.

-See how that girl cringes at rape jokes? She was raped.

-See the boy who everyone goes to for advice? He wishes somebody would do the same for him.

-See the girl who never brings a lunch? She's disgusted by her body.

-See her, with the little waist? She goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so she can keep her waist that way.

-See the boy over there, with the dark circles under his eyes? He has insomnia, he fears what he'll see in his dreams.

-See that girl over there daydreaming? She has schizophrenia.

-See the boy biting his nails? He has cancer and wonders how much time he has left.

-See your best friend? She's addicted to drugs, but she can't tell you because you won't understand.

-See that boy reading all about 9/11? His parents died on that day.

-See her, with the phone all the time? She's waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago.

-See know the girl you just called fat?She overdosed on diet pills.

-See that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her.

-See that boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home.


FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list.

SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia),Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), ArtemisApollo97 (England), Divine Protector of Skyrim (USA)

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