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Shodaime Rikudo Sennin PM
Biography
Joined Apr '12

Name: Stephen James

Age: 20

Height: 6 ft 2 inches

Description: Shoulder-length unruly blond hair (can you guess why I immediately began to like naruto) and grey eyes with a cute looking birthmark (or so I've been told) on my right cheek

Favorite Anime/Manga

Naruto

Bleach

Inuyasha

Fate Stay Night

Fairy Tail

Fate Zero

Shingeki no Kyojin

One Piece

Dragon Ball Z

Yu-Gi-Oh

Wolf's Rain

High School DxD/ハイスクールDD

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Things I learn from my mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

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20 Useless facts:

In average a woman smiles more often than a man.

You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

There are more TV sets in the US than there are people in the UK.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

A cow farts about 600 litres of methane gas every day. That is enough to fill up 40 party balloons.

On average, a person laughs about 15 times each day.

More than six billion hot dogs are consumed annually in the US.

You breathe about ten million times a year.

Sweden was the first country in the world to keep population statistics.

There are 31,536,000 seconds in a year. If you attempted to count to stars in our galaxy at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all.

Drivers kill more deer than hunters.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

The ten most generous countries are all in Europe.

Sri Lanka has lowest divorce rate in the world - and the highest rate of female suicide.

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Bad Day

There’s this little guy sitting inside a bar, just
looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next
to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks
it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says:
“Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you
another drink. I just can’t see a man crying.”

“No, it’s not that. Today is the worst day of my
life. First, I overslept and late to an important
meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me.

When I left the building to my car, I found out it
was stolen. The police said they could do
nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid
the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I
left my whole wallet in the cab.

I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the
gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when
I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you
show up and drink my poison …”

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This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is waste cat

This is thirty cat

This is seconds cat

This is of cat

This is a cat

This is dumbass' cat

This is life cat

Now read the third word of every line.

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8 outrageous facts:

1. A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans!

2. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconioses, its plural.

3. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete!

4. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

5. Most lipstick contains fish scales!

6. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

7. In Kentucky, it's the law that a person must take a bath once a year.

8. In Singapore, it is illegal to chew gum.

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16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART(copied this from a friends profile)

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

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I read this and thought i might as well repost it.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you know someone that should be hit by a bus Copy and paste this to your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If every locker you have ever had/have hates you and wouldn't/doesn't open up for you...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.(lol. I found this on someone's profile, and I remember thinking when I was little that if I ran into the Trix rabit, I would give him some Trix)

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

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Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're intoxicated by my very presence

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

-'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'

A conclusion in what you reach when you get tired of thinking.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Normal people worry me.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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Kishimoto Rant on the Naruto series: warning contains spoilers

NARUTO- What the bloody hell happen? The series started out so well. But then you started getting chummy with Sasuke. Can we say Mary Jane boys and girls?

HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO SET SASUKE UP WITH 'YEARS' OF TRAINING WITH A BLOODY POWER HUNGRY SANNIN AND THEN LEAVE NARUTO WITH JACK SQUAT? DID NARUTO LEARN ANYTHING FROM HIS TIME WITH JIRAIYA?

He left a chipper blonde brat and he returned a nostalgic blond brat with hardly anything to show for it. YES you wanted to stick to the formula -3 protagonist trade mark techniques that beats em' all and what not.

BUT WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO USE SOME VARIETY? The resengan, kick ass. The Kage-bushin, again kick-ass. BUT WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH THE RASSEN-SHURIKAN? YOU GIVE FUCKING SASUKE THE ETERNAL SHARIGAN THAT LETS HIM PERFORM S-RANK JUTSU WITH EASE AND THEN FINALLY GIVING NARUTO A POWER THAT MIGHT POSSIBLE RIVAL THAT. YOU TAKE IT AWAY! THE BLOODY SAGE-MODE (THAT HE'S NOT EVEN PROFICIENT IN) DOESN'T CUT IT!

Okay Kishimoto. Enough is a fucking nuf'. Killing Kakashi, I was okay with. Killing Asuma while extremely unneeded. I got over. Fucking over Jiraiya... that was un-acceptable. WHY THE HELL WAS THAT EVEN NECCESSARY? WHAT THE HELL DID THAT ACCOMPLISH? ALL IT DID WAS PISS OFF EVERYONE IN THE LEAF- AND MADE NARUTO SLIGHTLY MORE FURIOUS AT PEIN THAN HE ALREADY WAS!

Itachi... you killed him off as well. The most bad arse mofo in the game and you killed him off. YOU killed off one of the most popular characters in your series, and are probably laughing it off in your wine cellar like the dickens.

However Itachi was a support character. I found your reasoning in that and accepted it. BUT CONVERTING HIM AFTER YOU KILLED HIM I DO NOT! How the HELL do you get off pissing on his grave with your bigot slander Kishi? YOU showed him as a villain. YOU had him fit the bill. THEN YOU DUMP ACID ON ITACHI'S CROTCH BY CONVERTING HIM TO THE GOOD SIDE! Its bad enough you hardly gave him any air time. BUT with the little you do, you pull this BS?

Now onto the Pein game. SCREW YOU KISHIMOTO! How the bloody hell are you going to pull some utter bull like that?

HOW DO YOU GET OFF REVIVING 'EVERYONE' THAT WAS KILLED IN THE DAMN POWER STRUGGLE! I HOPE AKIRA TORIYAMA SUES YOUR ASS FOR PULLING SHIT OUT OF HIS PLAYBOOK. THIS IS NARUTO NOT DRAGONBALL Z. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU LIKE THAT SERIES OR CRAFTED YOURS TO MODEL AFTER IT. THE DBZ SERIES IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO BRING PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WITH ANY VALIDATION!

Okay its your story, you've made your multi millions off your damnable merchandise and you've robbed any shred of respect I was had for you. I was one of the people that would defend you, now... the series ending better be fantastic, if I even stay along that long to see pardon me read it. Because you cheap rat bastards stopped translating it.

Kishimoto has left so many character's with so much potential in the series go to waste and I'll make it my personal duty to exact these wrongs done to the Narutoverse.

These people are:

Itachi - he had so much more to give, but I do realize he was only a support character.

Kisame - We saw this guy like what 5 times?

Killer Bee - His fight was B.S and made me cry

Gaara - He needs more air time damn it!

Lee/ Gai - who needs the fountain of youth when you got these two?

Tobi - he gave a new meaning to spontaneous

Kakashi - poor sensei/human being/role model or not he doesn't get enough credit for all the things he has done.

Haku - potential laid waste before it could even truly start.

Hinata- poor Hyuuga tormented/abused in fiction and almost useless in canon until the filler arcs. What have we done!

Shikamaru- Manga wise this guy's pretty well off but in fiction... Come on people this pineapple headed smart ass has the potential to be the strongest guy in the manga. We already know he going to end up the most intelligent guy in the hidden leaf why not add some muscle mass and jutsu to his arsenal, neh? The only thing holding him back is his laziness and that can be solved with a creative attitude adjustment.

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For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool-Aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be gay.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a Fanboy so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear skirts.

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT; I MUST be having cyber-sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard/ bitch.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be a Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

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