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KKataang4eva PM
Joined Apr '12

Umm... Me, well, I'm KKataang4eva. I wanted to just be Kataang, but that didn't happen! I'm a teenager who LOVES cartoons. And, of course ATLA:) I'm a Harry Potter FREAK - I have my own wand! I HATE Twishit, or excuse me, TWILIGHT *sarcasm*. I hate Justin Beiber, I love the Beatles. I'm kind of a grammar freak. I'm a gay rights supporter. I'm not religious. And yeah.. that should do it. I say this because I don't want to hear SHIT about how I should convert, or I took the lords name in vain or whatever else. I DON'T CARE. And yeah... now, ONTO THE FANFICTION!

Please read and review my story. I try to update ASAP. But it's not always possible! So happy summer!

My Fav Quotes From :

Bold are my favorites! I took out anything I deemed to inappropriate for my profile.

Dear insufferable "know-it-all",

Unless your name is God, Google or Hermione, you, in fact, do not know it all.

Sincerely, good day.

Dear razor package that reads "warning: do not use during earthquake.",

OMG an earthquake! Better go shave my legs!

Sincerely, really?!

Dear teenagers,

Blah blah blah, angst, my life sucks. Blah blah, angst, blah, I hate my parents. Blah blah, boyfriend/girlfriend, blah blah, money, blah blah, FML, blah, music, angst.

Sincerely, talk to me when you actually have responsibility.

Dear Kindle,

You know what else you can read in the sun without a glare?

Sincerely, Books!

Dear elementary school kids,

If you can't spell the word "relationship," clearly you aren't old enough to have one.

Sincerely, anonymous.


But it taste so good...

Sincerely, I'll pretend I didn't see that.

Dear boyfriend,

Next time I try to be cute for your birthday and make you a coupon for anything you want, please consider your options more thoughtfully...

Sincerely, here's your sandwich.

Dear Winnie the Pooh,

We have the same middle name!

Sincerely, Jack the Ripper.

Dear mother,

Just because I am married now, doesn't mean that you can make inappropriate and uncomfortable sex jokes.

Sincerely, when I said I was "busy," I meant washing the dishes...

Dear girl complaining on my facebook about how hard it is being a teen mom,

Solution: Don't get pregnant.

Sincerely, common sense.

Dear world,

I have discovered something better then bubble wrap.

Sincerely, colored bubble wrap.

Dear Westboro Baptist Church,

I'm pretty sure the Bible actually teaches love, tolerance, forgiveness, and doing unto others as you would want others to do unto you. What book are you getting all your stuff from?

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns

Dear Mom,

Im 16 now, can I PLEASE get a bra?

Sincerely, your son, Justin B

Dear Students,

I know when you're texting.

Sincerely, No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles

Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders

Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada

Dear Waldo,

Please return my invisibility cloak ASAP.

Sincerely, H. Potter

Dear Edward Cullen,

Avada Kedavra!

Sincerely, Tom Riddle

Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely, Google

Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.

Sincerely, J.K. Rowling

Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely, 1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Facebook,

Just wait, one day they'll abandon you as well.

Sincerely, Myspace

Dear Sirius Black,

What's your middle name?

Sincerely, I hope it's Lee

Dear movie watcher,

Your parents are about to walk in.

Sincerely, the only sex scene in the movie

Dear Fork,

I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely, Spoon

Dear World,

Sincerely, Ninjas

Dear Voldemort,

A couple of lies would take care of that.

Sincerely, Pinocchio

Dear Justin Bieber,

Ariel would really love her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton

Dear Edward,

This is why you were in Hufflepuff.

Sincerely, The Sorting Hat

Dear High School Boys,

Your penis is not like Pinocchio's nose - it doesn't get longer every time you lie about its size.

Sincerely, Reality

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

Please note that when the love of Hermione's life left her, she continued to search for the keys to destroying the world's most powerful dark wizard. When the love of Bella's life left her, she curled up in the fetal position, went numb for months then jumped off a cliff.

Sincerely, J. K. Rowling.

Dear Twilight fans,

Let's do some math! Harry Potter Voldemort. Voldemort Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory = Edward Cullen. Therefore, Harry Potter Edward Cullen.

Sincerely, suck on that.

Dear Men,

If we have to have periods every month, you guys should be kicked in the balls once a month.

Sincerely, Women

Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Edward,

You're doing it wrong.

Sincerely, Dracula

Dear Cat,

Sorry for hoisting you into the air whenever 'The Circle of Life' plays.

Sincerely, a Lion King enthusiast

Dear People of the World,

I don't mean to sound slutty, but please use me whenever you want.

Sincerely, Grammar

Dear Justin Bieber,

Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a water bottle, I'd throw it at you.

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Hogwarts,

Please send me another letter. I'm pretty sure Sarah Palin shot my owl.

Sincerely, It's not my fault I live in Alaska

Dear parents,

Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin. Snow White lived alone with 7 men. Pinnochio was a liar. Robin Hood was a thief. Tarzan walked around without clothes on. A stranger kissed sleeping beauty and she married him. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.

Sincerely, it's not our fault, it's how you raised us

Dear Rubik's Cube,


Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Noah,

It's ok, we caught the train to Hogwarts instead.

Sincerely, Unicorns and Dragons

Dear girls who tormented me in 7th grade because I was smarter than you,

I need you to work overtime tomorrow.

Sincerely, your boss

Dear Santa,

You watch them sleep too?

Sincerely, Edward

Dear Miley,

Wow, this is awkward. You weren't invited...

Sincerely, The USA

Dear Cedric Diggory,

Vampires don't sparkle. 20 points from Hufflepuff!

Sincerely, Snape

Dear Titanic,


Sincerely, Iceberg

Dear girls,

If you can read this, make me a sammich.

Sincerely, a boy

Dear Dumbledore,

I just got off the phone with Merlin and he is totally down to get the band back together!

Sincerely, Gandalf

Dear Disney Channel,

What the DEVIL have you done with this place?!

Sincerely, Walt.

Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man. All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Please make another book in the Twilight series. My fireplace is running low on fuel.

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Stride Gum,

Don't make flavor changing gum. Trust me, I tried it and a girl ended up as a giant blueberry.

Sincerely, Willy Wonka

Dear William and Kate,

If William is 100% royal and Kate is 0% royal, will that make your son the half-blood prince?

Sincerely, curious.

Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls

Dear Eve,

If you doomed the entire human race for an apple... What would you have done for a Klondike Bar?

Sincerely, Humanity

Dear Harry,

It's a good thing we're not related; your name would be Harry Longbottom.

Sincerely, Neville

Dear Mario,

Yea, it's every princess's dream to be rescued by a fat plumber with a pedostache.

Sincerely, Princess Peach

Dear career placement tests,

You wish you were me.

Sincerely, the Sorting Hat.

Dear Waldo,

Could I interest you in becoming a Horcrux?

Sincerely, Lord Voldemort.

Dear unborn son,

Please note that your name will be Luke purely so I can say "Luke, I am your Father" when you question my authority.

Sincerely, soon to be father.

Dear people,

Please help, I'm 20 years old and I can't get a better job than at a fast food place. I'm socially awkward, and my only co-worker hates me. I'd complain, but my boss only cares about money. I'd leave, but I can't pass my drivers test, or any test I've ever taken. I'm in love with one of my only friends; she's a smart, athletic, gorgeous southern belle, but, I'm stuck in the friend zone. My only other friend is this guy who i'm pretty sure only talks to me, because he's mentally handicapped. To top it all off, I live in a freaking pineapple.

Sincerely, Spongebob S Pants.

Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Death,

We'll trade Dobby for Justin Bieber.

Sincerely, the world

Dear people who say they're ninja when they catch things after dropping them,

Ninjas don't drop things.

Sincerely, a ninja

Dear John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,

Your name is my name too!

Sincerely, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

Dear Justin Bieber,

An autobiography? Seriously? You just barely reached puberty. Let me guess, it consists of: 'I was born. The end.'

Sincerely, Fed up SO TRUE. GOD I HATE HIM!

Dear Girls,

We hate periods too.

Sincerely, Commas

Dear 2011,

We thought you would have flying cars and robots by now, but congrats on the backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals...

Sincerely, 1950.

Dear Wizard Community,

It has come to our attention that a Dark Wizard has made a Inferi of Cedric Diggory, now going by the name of Edward Cullen. He is known to be running around with an unregistered Animagus, Jacob Black. If you have any information about their whereabouts, contact the Ministry of Magic.

Sincerely, Minister for Magic.

Dear Jacob Black,

I noticed you drive a motorcycle and turn into a huge dog. How original.

Sincerely, Sirius Black.

Dear Edward,

Maybe the reason you can't read Bella's mind is because there's nothing in her head.

Sincerely, logic.

Dear Rebecca,

You are a disgrace to the family name.

Sincerely, Sirius.

Dear Americans,

You'd have cool accents too if you didn't throw all that tea in the water.

Sincerely, The British

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Writing a book for muggles describing the magical world in explicit detail is a violation of Section 13, Part C of the International Warlock Convention. We expect you to attend a hearing on February 28th.

Sincerely, The Ministry of Magic.

Dear Skittles manufacturer,

Clearly someone failed their colors of the rainbow test.

Sincerely, blue

Dear girl at my school,

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Sincerely, close your legs.

Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Dear Headlights,


Sincerely, Deer

Dear Google Image Search,

That WAS NOT what I was looking for.

Sincerely, Scarred for Life

Dear Bank of America,

Yeah, but do you have dragons?

Sincerely, Gringotts

Dear Old Navy,

Please stop with the creepy mannequin commercials.

Sincerely, all of America

Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast

Dear Rebecca Black,

We don't hate you because you're famous; you're famous because we hate you.

Sincerely, everyone.

Dear Edward,

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

Sincerely, a stake

Dear gangsters,

I would pants you, but it looks like someone beat me to it.

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Dumbledore,

Did you get my text?

Sincerely, Umbridge

Dear Mathematicians,

Here's a hint: X will always equal 10.

Sincerely, The Romans

Dear Haiti,

Is it too soon to ask what's shakin'?

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear Edward Cullen,

You stay young forever and sneak into the rooms of young girls? How original.

Sincerely, Peter Pan.

Dear world,

Lady Gaga taught me it's ok to be different. Ke$ha taught me that I should be myself and not give a crap what people think. Taylor swift taught me that not all of the guys I love are going to love me. Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love. Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through. Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.

Sincerely, most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week.

Dear Bruno Mars,

She's not worth it man. If someone is throwing grenades at this girl, she's obviously involved with some messed up people.

Sincerely, a friend who cares.

Dear girls making kissy faces on Myspace and Facebook,

There's a reason we close our eyes when we kiss.

Sincerely, boys

Dear dad,

Please stop, this game of 'got your nose' has gone on far too long.

Sincerely, Voldemort.

Dear The Movie,


Sincerely, The Book

Dear boys yelling Harry Potter spells in the back of the classroom,

It's LeviOsa, not LeviosA...

Sincerely, I think your muggle is showing.

Dear "I'm not drunk!",

You threw a sock at a midget and screamed "Dobby be free!"

Sincerely, yes, you are.

Dear Voldemort,

Trying to make a perfect race never works. Just sayin'.

Sincerely, Hitler

Dear silly people,

Whoever said words can never hurt you?

Sincerely, Avada Kedavra and Crucio

Dear McDonalds,

Thank you for not serving hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.

Sincerely, Immature Teenager

Dear iPhone,

Why didn't anything happen when I chose airplane mode and threw you up in the air?

Sincerely, you're the worst Transformer ever.

Dear americans,


Sincerely, you just read that in an accent didn't you?

Dear guy with the British accent,

You instantly became more attractive. Say more words.

Sincerely, average American girl.

Dear face wash commercials,

Nobody actually splashes their face with water like that.

Sincerely, my bathroom is sopping wet now.

Dear boys who want x-ray vision as their superpower,

Congratulations, you can now see girls' skeletons.

Sincerely, have you ever seen an x-ray?

Dear Taio Cruz,

I throw my wand up in the air sometimes, sayin AYE OH, where'd my nose go?

Sincerely, Voldemort.

Dear racist white people,

When I was born I was black, when I grew up I was black, when I'm sick I'm black, when I go out in the sun I'm black, when I'm cold I'll be black, and when I die I'll be black. But you, when you where born you were pink, when you grew up you were white, when you're sick you're green, when you go out in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you turn blue, and when you die you'll turn purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored?

Sincerely, black people.

Dear person reading this,

Can switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurance?

Sincerely, did you just read that in the guy's voice?

Dear women of the world,

You think your time of the month is bad...

Sincerely, werewolves

Dear face cream that guarantees to make you look 10 years younger,

If I put this on my 9 year old sister will her face disappear?

Sincerely, hopeful.

Dear Luke,

I am your Father.

Sincerely, with hugs and hisses, Vader.

Dear Juliet,

...and that's how you fake a death.

Sincerely, harry potter.

Dear kid that wants to be harry potter,

I just killed your parents, you're welcome!

Sincerely, now you are one step closer.

Dear attractive guy,

You had me at "hello..."

Sincerely, but lost me at "I don't like harry potter."

Dear parents who are afraid to leave me home alone,

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Sincerely, just kidding, I'll probably just watch harry potter.

Dear people wishing harry potter wasn't over,

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."

Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore.

Dear Twilight,

You are not the end of an era. harry potter was the end of an era. You, Twilight, are the end of an error.

Sincerely, anonymous.

Dear harry potter,

No way! your mom died protecting you too? Lets be best friends!

Sincerely, Nemo.

Dear Hallmark,

Please make one of your recordable cards that looks like a howler.

Sincerely, harry potter fans.

Dear parents,

"Please" and "thank you" are actually not the magic words...

Sincerely, harry potter.

Dear Wizards of Waverly Place,

Wow. Wizardry is so...different...in America.

Sincerely, harry potter.

Dear boyfriend,

If you can stare at cheerleaders, then I can talk about how hotharry potter is.

Sincerely, girlfriend.

Dear Disney World,

You are no longer the most magical place on earth. Sorry.

Sincerely, the Wizarding World of harry potter.

Dear Lily,

Remember that time you touched my hair in fifth year? I haven't washed it since.

Sincerely, Severus Snape.

Dear Housing Department,

Look, I just moved in and absolutely love my house, but I keep getting all of these random letters and unexpected visitors looking for some fish. Any way I could get an address change?

Sincerely, current residents of P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

Dear blind date at the zoo,

I thought you were a terrible date until you pointed at an animal in a pond I couldn't see and shouted "CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

Sincerely, see you next week?

Dear people who think the Harry Potter books go against the Christian belief,

Harry escaped death when he was a baby. When he was a young boy, he realized he was destined to destroy evil. When he grew older, he realized he needed to die. When he did die, he came back to life and conquered evil.

Sincerely, HEY! That sounds oddly familiar...

Dear world,

No matter if you love Star Wars, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, or Avatar: The Last Airbender let all fandoms coexist.

Sincerely, nerd and let nerd.

Dear Cancer,

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Sincerely, Just switched my major to Biochemical Engineering for my daddy.

Author: Follow Favorite

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