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kaykay901 PM
Biography
Joined Aug '12

Hi Hi!!!!!!!! SALSA!!!!!

I'm a typically typical person.

NOT!!!!

I am... different.

I am 12 (so far)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE cheese

and chicken

and romance

and Ferrero rocher

and Thalico

and rick riordan

Zebra's are unique, and so am I

favorite colors: Blue, black, and silver

lucky number: 12

favorite movie: Les Miserables (Who didn't love that movie?)

I am scene

which is a happy kind of goth.

NICO DIANGELO IS MINE!!!!! YOU TAKE HIM AWAY AND I WILL HIT YOU WITH MY FRYING PAN!!!

PLEASE READ.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! IT'S A CONSPIRACY! Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile. NO! STOP LYING TO ME INTERNET!

OMG I JUST FOUND OUT MY BIRTHDAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE LAST HERO'S OPENING DAY!!!

WHOOOOOOOOOO OCTOBER 12!

My fanfiction family

the one and only... ME!!! (y'know, kaykay901)

Hugs6

Child Of Wisdom

Daughter of Hades

Sweet Shireen

COOKIEMONSTER249

HannahBananaMcKenzie

all-star102938

daughter of Athena and Apollo

AND MANY MANY MORE!

jk

DO YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF IT?

I DON'T KNOW YOU!!!

Percy Jackson is the best Hero in any Greek or Roman mythology. Re-post this if you agree.


Octavian from the Son Of Neptune is the most annoying, idiot and hateful person in the Heroes of Olympus series so far and would like to hit him on the head with stuffed teddy bears! Copy and Paste if you agree and write your pen name after mine: The Innocent Little Human,Annabeth Jackson or Wisegirl, unknownstranger56


!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

Now I sit me down in school

where praying is against the rule.

For this great nation under God

finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

it violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange, or green,

that's no offense; it's a freedom scene.

The law is specific, the law is precise.

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

and pierce our noses, tongues, and cheeks...

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible,

to quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

and the 'unwed daddy' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

we're taught that such 'judgements' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

study witchcraft, vampires, and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

no word of God must reach the crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

when chaos reings the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen.

If you aren't ashamed to do this,

Please pass this on.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny Me, I will deny you in front of My Father in the gates of Heaven


PJO facts of life: Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Percabethtatorship. There are no steroids in baseball. Just the power of Percabeth. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Percabeth moment is worth 1 billion words.

When taking the SAT, write "Percabeth" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

Rick Riordan once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 100% chance of Percabeth.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not a Percabeth shiper

He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Percabeth never dies.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Percabeth.

all roads lead to Percabeth. And by the transitive property, total awesomeness.

President Roosevelt said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And pairings that go against Percabeth."

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Percabeth.

There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Percabeth . . . just kidding. Percabeth is first.

There are two types of people in the world . . . people that suck, and Percabeth shippers.

Only Percabeth can prevent forest fires.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the pen is held by a Percabeth shipper.

Most people know that Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don'tknow is that that quote continues, ". . . a Percabeth shipper."

He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Percabeth . . . dies.

People have often asked the United States, "What is your secret weapon against terrorists?" We simply reply . . . Percabeth.

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Percabeth juice.

Some people say that Percabeth is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead!

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it

Brother: Did you know that ’sugar’ is the only word in the English language where the ’su’ makes the ’sh’ sound?

Sister: Really?

Brother: Yeah, I’m sure.

HA HA GET IT, BECAUSE... HA... yeah.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. (everyday!)

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile. (But I don't remember...)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile (PJATO)

SADLY, THE FLYING PIGS ARE EXTINCT. NOW I'LL NEVER GET MY 20 BUCKS. :(

You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1979 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

Robbers stab you in the stomach. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. Friends stab you in the back. Best friends don't carry knives.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

The statistics on insanity are that 1 of every 4 people has some kind of mental illness. Look at your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

The computer beat me once at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When nothing goes right... go left.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

We never really grow up we only learn how to act in public.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but still check when you say the paint is wet?

Laugh at your problems. Everyone else does.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

When in doubt, mumble.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

There's a fine line between cuddling someone, and pinning them down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure

How does paper beat rock? If you throw a rock at me, I'm not going to defend myself with a sheet of paper...

A day without sunshine is like... night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

My mum keeps telling me that I never listen... or something like that.

Screw you recommended serving size. You don't know me!

If life is a play then where are my lines?

If you don't have anything nice to say I'll hit you for insulting me.

People say that children should be seen and not heard, but nobody told the six year olds.

When life gives you lemons ask why lemons.

If everybody was beautiful then nobody would be.

If you have to be cruel to be kind do you have to be kind to be cruel?

Life isn't fair. If it was then James and Lily Potter would still be alive.

Girls are evil, cruel and rude, pity the boys who fall for them.

If you break my heart Ill break your face!

When life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave them wondering how you did it.

You know whats sad telling your boyfriend/ girlfriend you love them then the next day you break up with them.

People think that people who are smart are defenceless, tell that to your black eye!

Let the world hear your song. (just be good at singing)

B.F.FS aren't always forever!

I always get so close to something then it runs away! :(

Why does no one understand this is my world your just living in it.

The world never understood me but it understands long multiplication it dont make sense.

Why do people just stand there when there being punched why dont they move out of the way.

I just keep going no turning back its not like I had a choice.

Dont believe all you hear in the newspaper

Why do you have to go to school on your birthday you should stay at home and party.

If life was fair they would make another The Last Airbender movie.

If everyone was kind then no one would be.

Can you believe no one gave me a giant chocolate bar.

The world never leaves me alone. It always gives me another problem to deal with.

Im not afraid to be uniqe.

The world cant cope with my awesomness

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a,rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him. (Just in case)

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Boy Part:

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.

Sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box.

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers

You watch sports on TV.

Gory movies are cool.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You like going to high school football games.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night

14/24

Girl Part:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.

You love to shop.

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were/are in gymnastics/dance.

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joke of it

Like being the star of everything

8/24... should I be worried???


How to tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself. -If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’) -If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’) -If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’ -If you live off of sugar. -If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper. -If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard. -If people think you might have A.D.D. -If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D. -If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense. -If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason. -If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason. (Yes...so unbelievably true)

-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101


READ AND PASTE TO UR PROFILE IF U HATE RACISM!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the true God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...

"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

Your Godly Parent is...

ZEUS

You like being in charge.

You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.

You were voted Class President.

You do what’s best for everyone.

You think you have what it takes to run for President.

You think every problem has a solution.

You love showing off.

You like plane rides

You are hydrophobiac

3/10 (YES!!!! *Thunder rumbles* oops, sorry...)

POSEIDON

You feel at home in the water.

Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.

You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.

You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.

You visit the local pool on a regular basis.

You swim professionally.

You hate seafood.

You never get seasick.

You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.

You are acrophobiac

8/10

HADES

You’re not that much of a people person.

You like staying in the dark and writing poems.

You experience bad moods on a regular basis.

You like listening to loud, angry music.

You spend most of your time alone.

You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.

You like to keep to yourself.

All your closets are padlocked

You write in diary/journal.

You feel most active at night.

7/10

(No offence, but I have to say good, because I can't date Nico if I'm

his sister. If you don't know who that is, get off my profile.

DEMETER

You own a garden.

You like the great outdoors.

You have a green thumb.

You’re an environmentalist.

You have a special connection with animals

You’re a vegetarian.

You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world

You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.

You love going to flower shops

You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.

6/10

ARES

You often start fights.

You’re a very aggressive type of person

You're competitive.

You like reading about war.

You don't take crap from anybody.

You have anger management.

You never back away from a fight.

Everyone does what you say.

You don’t always think before you do something.

4/10

ATHENA

You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.

Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.

You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.

You’re the valedictorian in your class.

You’ve never gotten a grade below 90 in your report card.

You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.

You think it would be better if you were the President.

You have a huge shelf of books at home.

You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful.

9/10 (hmm.. I thought I'd be all 10. Wow)

APOLLO

You’re very creative and artistic.

You like listening to all kinds of music in general.

You always feel sunny and optimistic.

You are talented at drawing. (I'm ok.)

You like writing poetry.

You can play at least 3 musical instruments.

You like going to art museums.

You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.

You have straight As in Art on your report card.

Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.

7/10

HUNTER OF ARTEMIS

You dislike boys in general.

A deer is one of your favorite animals

You can shoot targets

You like silver.

You like the moon better than the sun

Zoe Nightshade is awesome

You love wild animals

You spend most of your time outdoors.

You love to move around the place

Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters.

7/10 (I cannot do the whole "Not like boys" thing)

HEPHAESTUS

You have a way with tools.

You build awesome things during your free time.

You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.

Metalworking is your forte.

You have your own toolbox.

You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.

You’re a techie.

You often have carpentry projects.

You dream of being a carpenter. (That was a weird one...)

You aren’t afraid of fire.

5/10

APHRODITE

Every guy/girl swoons for you.

You like putting on makeup.

You naturally smell good. (shampoo)

You never experience a bad hair day.

Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.

You’re always at the front of every trend.

You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.

You’re often invited to parties.

Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”

You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. (Because I have a mirror in my room, okay?)

5/10 ( HALF AND HALF!!!)

HERMES

You like pickpocketing your friends.

You’re a prankster.

You’re a speed demon.

You consider yourself restless.

You’re the best speaker in the class.

You like thinking on your feet and using your wits.

You’re inventive and resourceful.

You often start arguments.

You’ve never lost a debate.

You like making witty and sarcastic statements.

9/10 (Oh, wow... really?)

DIONYSUS

You’re the life of the party.

You like wine.

You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.

You can finish a martini in less than a minute.

You have a happy, cheerful disposition.

You’re a foodie.

You like going to social events and mingling with people.

You like trying out new food.

You feel that you’re abundant in life.

You think that too much of anything is bad.

4/10

I am a child of Hermes, and Athena.

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Nico DiAngelo. Bianca's brother.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Illiterates. Many kids believe some of the demigods are illiterates.

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp

M

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„ ºø„ „øº„øº

ºø„ PERCY JACKSON „øº

„øº IS AWESOME!!! ºø„

„øº„øººø„ºø„

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

:D Pan said to save the wild. Cut and paste this is you have ever eaten a waffle.

(To the idiots who ever did this.)

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.


I have done ALOT of things. Like below:

Copy and paste whatever you have done from this list:

Push doors that clearly say PULL

Laugh harder when you try to explain why you're laughing

Walk into a room and forget why you were there

Count on your fingers to add something in math class

Try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave

Say "It's a long story" when it's really not.

Watch 1 propeller go round and round on a fan

Say the ABCs in your head to see what letter comes next

Have a mini spazz attack when you're dreaming that you're falling

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it gets strange.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Sisters Grimm, post this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you like the Hunger Games copy and paste this on your profile.

If you wish Katniss could just keep BOTH Gale and Peeta, copy and paste this on your profile

If you believe that children are actually much smarter than most adults, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever gone crazy looking for something that was in your hand all along, copy and paste this into your profile

If your school notebook has more doodles than notes in it, copy and paste this into your profile

If FanFiction to you is what MySpace or Facebook is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you like stuff, then copy and paste this onto you're profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Did you know the average person only reads three books per year? If you do not even believe it is possible to read that little, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stayed up and read past 4 in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Copy this in your profile if you actually think it would be cool to get reaped for the hunger games

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

95 percent of people are concerned with being popular. If you are part of the five percent who couldn't care less, copy this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

99% of teens would have a heart attack if Facebook and MySpace were simultaneously destroyed. If you would be one of the 1%, who would be laughing your butt off, or attending a funeral and laughing your butt off, then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up ALL NIGHT just so you could finish a really good book, copy this to your profile.

If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever just SLAPPED someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know how to laugh at yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think rainstorms are great, thunder storms are better, but lightning storms are the best, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've vowed to murder the people who hurt Cinna copy and paste this on your profile.

Copy and Paste if you LOVE to laugh (even if at yourself)

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Dare I say it... if you HAVE died, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have spent multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that seems to be unnaturally drawn to them, copy and paste this on your profile.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

I saw this on ChildOfWisdom's profile

it was soo coolio!!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD Do:

When she walks away from you mad

Follow her

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you

Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder

Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands

Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

don't look away until she does

When she misses you

she's hurting inside

When you break her heart

the pain never really goes away

When she says its over

she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin

she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is;

"Who's butt am I kicking?"

Put this in your profile if you love to laugh!

(Put this on your page if u like music) (o) music

IDEAS FLOW FORTH FROM CAVERNS AND CRANNIES, LEAVING US FRANTICALLY WRITING IN JAMMIES!

TO THE COMPUTERS WE FLY AS THEY POUR FROM THE TIPS, OF OUR LOVELY FINGERS AND SWEET AND SOFT LIPS!

WE SHALL WRITE ALL THE DAY AND WRITE ALL THE NIGHT, FOR NOTHING CAN DETER US FROM OUR MISSION TO WRITE!

AND IF EVER WE PASS OUT UPON THE KEYS, THE REVIEWS SHALL CHIME, BEGGING, "GIVE US MORE PLEASE!"

AND WE SHALL CONTINUE TO DO WHAT WE DO FOR SOME FUN, BECAUSE WE ARE AMAZING, FANGIRLS HAVE WON!

AND THOUGH WE MIGHT WANT TO DISCONTINUE AND REST, WE SHALL NOT STOP BECAUSE WE ARE THE BEST!

MORE STUFF ABOUT ME!!!!

(IF YOU'VE READ THIS FAR)

I love

reading

and the Percy Jackson series

and the Harry Potter series

and the Sisters Srimm series

and more series

and junk food

I am a filipino american

I am the person you see on the street and think "What the Hades is she doing?"

I don't give a *BLEEP* what people think of me

I am pretty good at singing

The Harry Potter oath

I promise to remember Tonks Each time I knock something down.

And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley Whenever I'm out of town.

I promise not to obey traffic laws For Sirius's sake of course.

And I promise to remember Lupin When my heart fills with remorse.

I promise to remember Arthur Whenever I am at St Mungo's Room.

And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins every time fireworks boom

. I promise to remember Lily When I see someone that holds pure beauty.

And I promise to remember Dobby Whenever a pair of socks spots me.

I promise to remember Teddy When I see someone with turquoise hair.

And I promise to remember Molly When someone tells me they care.

I promise to remember Ginny Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.

And I promise to remember the Death Eaters When someone speaks of dominating the world.

Yes, I promise to love Harry Potter Wherever I may go So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the wizards know.


A list of why Harry Potter's better than Twilight:

1. Jacob Black is a lame copy of Sirius Black. Proof: They both have motorcycles, they have the same last name, they can both turn into canine creatures.

2. Bella Swan is a Mary Sue, and Edward Cullen is a Gary Stu. There are no Mary Sues or Gary Stus in Harry Potter

3. Sparkly vampires are just sad and pathetic.

4. None of the Harry Potter characters stare at peole while they sleep.

5. A Twilight vampire may have special powers, but they can only have one each. Wizards can have all of the abilities vampires have, like: Legilimency, Occlumency, Divination, and more: Metamorphmagus, Parseltongue, Animagus, etc.

6. For the Twilight series, five minutes after you meet someone, you are so in love with them that you can't live without them. Harry Potter characters do fall in love, but in much more realistic ways. And they don't lie around obsessing over it, they have more important things on their minds.

7. Voldemort is way cooler than the Volturi. (Who, for those of you who don't know, are a group of really old vamps who prevent other vamps from telling humans about their existence. No vampire would ever do this anyway, so the Volturi are useless)

8. The Twilight books have no humor.

9. Twilight only has sequels because Stephanie Meyer realized how popular it was. J.K. Rowling had always planned to write a series, even if it wasn't popular.

10. Did anyone offer to make Twilight a musical? No? Didn't think so.

11. No one dies in Twilight, except for a few people they didn't know. Every good series includes a death that has a great impact on the main character. Several beloved characters died in Harry Potter, and this helped the plot to develop.

12. Twilight does not include any exciting villains. Harry Potter has many.

13. Twilight is sexist. Bella's ideas never work, she cannot do anything for herself and is constantly being saved by men. Now think of the girls in Harry Potter. Are Hermione, Ginny, and Luna constantly playing clueless damsels in distress? No.

14. None of the characters in Harry Potter needs to be unnaturally attractive in order to be loved by their significant other. But do you think Bella would have looked twice at Edward if he was ugly?

15. Harry Potter has all kinds of fans: old, young, male, female, etc. But Twlight's only fans are preteen and teenage girls, and a few middle-aged women. And many members of these groups don't even like Twilight.

16. The Twilight movies have bad special effects.

(True, so very true.)

Percy Jackson Pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

whenever I’m at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

whenever I see someone who doesn’t get along with others

I promise to remember Zoë

whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go

I saw this on a profile, and i decided it was so sweet i had to put it on mine.

And i just copied and pasted this!!!!

PJO Fans/ Normal people!

NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS:will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG! PJO FANS: say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS:won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: when being chased use their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: MUST have this on their profile!

Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."

Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."

Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."

Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"

Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."

Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"

Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"

Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"

Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this...

If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"

You say vampires, I say DEMIGODS!
You say Rob Pattinson, I say LOGAN LERMAN!
You say Bella and Edward, I say Percy and Annabeth!
You say Team Edward, I say Team Percy!
You say Bella, I say ANNABETH!
You say Jacob, I say NICO!
You say Forks, I say Camp Half Blood!
BEAT THAT TWILIGHT FANS!
PERCY JACKSON PWNZ


Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops

moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:

buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.

yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.

checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.

know which pages the good parts are on.

suddenly hate thunderstorms.

start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.

started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.

start figuring out who your godly parent is.

never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.

have a plan to get out of school early on Oct. 8th so you can buy House of Hades, read it, and still have time to do your homework.

ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards.

start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.

start spelling character names out of your spelling words.

start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.

15.Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information.

try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue.

make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.

18.The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?”

19.On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument.

yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.

dream about PJO every night.

curse a god/goddess a lot.

have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room

know PJO better then most sane people

have links to every great PJO site

add things to the list every day

know what you would do if you were Percy

argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (NO! Nico don't turn evil!!)

least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future

wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work

31.For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood

32.Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'

are trying to learn Greek

keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.

35.Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.

shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes

have an instant crush on Nico!

just have to research more about greek mythology

call up the Camp Half Blood number in LT.

want to learn Latin

copy/paste this onto your profile

43.About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over

have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to

make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO

46.Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree

47.A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed

have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them

have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess

’re nodding and smiling when you read this

were so busy reading that you missed number 41

are planning on adding a lot more things to this list

have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things

are so obessed with PJO and the couple Percy-Annabeth, that you are proud to call yourselves supporters of Percabeth!!!

55. You try to convince your friends to read PJO ( Lol, i do that all the time...)

Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When…

-You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor.

-There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!”

-Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes.

-When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses.

-You burn food to see if it smells good.

-You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!

-Everyone else is creating a Twilightfamily and you create a PJO family.

-You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda…

-You sometimes try to control water.

-You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months.

-You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address.

-Even though you're not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent.

-You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat.

-You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games.

-Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt.

-You are a PJO character for Halloween.

-Recite lines randomly from the books.

-When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it.(all the time!)

-Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related.

-You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol.

-You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you.

-You have dreams about PJO characters/events

-You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket.

-That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword.

-In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!"

-You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?"

-When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!"

-You are known to scream names of the characters at random times.

-You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies

-And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth.

-You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why: Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. also shes a hunter, her aim with an arrow is very accurate... Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work. Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket. Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds. Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and trust me I dont want to waste her time!

-You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer.

-You give all your siblings god parents

-You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians.

-You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win.

-You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site.

-You still think Thuke could happen.

You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed.

You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl.

You read page 203 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head (PERCABETH!!)

You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, tLO PJO and use it in conversations.

You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?"

If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile

Like MEE!!!!

( \_/ ) This is bunny.

('.') Copy and paste bunny onto your page to help

(")_(") him gain world domination! (I'nt he cute?)

586 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered

in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical

Creatures class.

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.

5. I will not go to class skyclad.

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a

clever moneymaking concept.

13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.

17. Or anywhere else for that matter.

18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

21. I will not ask Lupin if it's his time of the month.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Claus.

25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

32. I will not kiss Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is. (Nor will I ask Hermione Granger)

34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.

38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.

53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.

54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela

Pheremones".

56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".

57. The Malfoys are not Draka.

58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease

going after the prefects with a sword.

59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.

60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.

61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.

63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird".

66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

67. -Or any other Slytherin.

68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.

70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.

71. -I am not a Professor, at all.

72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

74. -It was not an honest mistake.

74. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.

77. -Or the teacher laundry.

78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.

79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference

to Belinda the Buttless.

80. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory,

no matter how wicked the result would be.

81. I will not give any girl one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present.

82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.

83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.

84. -Charming the label does not change anything.

85. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.

86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.

87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.

88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.

89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.

90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

91. -Testing this last is not funny.

92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

93. I may not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.

95. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good

authority that you have no evidence."

96. I may not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor or Slytherin House in Harry Potter's

Year are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true.

97. I am not possesed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth.

98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.

99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is

indecent.

100. -Especially if I can't.

101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The

Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."

102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even

for entertainment purposes.

103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Sevvie"(I added that last one cuz it's funny), "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.

107. I am not authorized to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.

108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.

109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

110. House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored

I become.

112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."

114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."

117. Neville is not my valet.

118. When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."

119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.

121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

122. Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.

124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.

126. And I should stop insisting there is.

127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.

128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's

Homeboys."

129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins

that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.

130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."

131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout,

"There can be only ONE!"

132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.

133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.

134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.

135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.

136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.

138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of

"intelligent design.

139. The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom of

the Opera.

141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.

142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.

143. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.

145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".

146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The

Chamber of Secrets".

150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a _ out of my hat!" during Charms class.

151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am

I its founder.

152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as

my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for

Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.

155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

156. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.

157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L.

exams.

158. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy."

161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.

163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".

164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.

165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.

166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.

169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.

170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler or Osama bin Laden.

171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

172. I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink.

173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is

inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a

quill and parchment is sufficient.

175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either

177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner

in which one should answer.

178. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.

180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.

181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger.

182. I may not have a private army.

183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.

184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.

185. I must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.

186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an

experimental spell.

189. Portable Swamps are not funny.

190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters or other sensitive

documents in them.

191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.

192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.

193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.

195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.

197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.

198. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.

200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.

202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.

204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.

205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.

206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.

207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created by the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of Magical

Creatures Class.

208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not

one and the same.

209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.

210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.

211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.

212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.

213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.

214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.

215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

217. I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

219. No part of the school uniform is edible.

220. -I am not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

221. I am not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".

222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.

223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".

224. -Nor Professor Snape.

225. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

226. -Nor allowed to use silencing charms on my Prefects.

227. -Nor allowed to use silencing charms, period.

228. I am not allowed to prophesy the end of the world more than once.

229. I will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.

230. -Especially not if I actually have them.

231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. I will not ask her to share.

232. -I also will not ask her to fly under the influence.

233. I will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.

234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.

235. I will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.

236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

237. I am not allowed to charm the words Ferret Boy onto Draco's forehead.

238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.

239. Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.

240. Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the reading list for muggle studies.

242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.

243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.

244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.

245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

247. I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.

248. -Even if my prefect did it.

249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open robe & tie" and call it an authorized uniform.

250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.

251. When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.

252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.

253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl.

254. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.

255. - The same goes for Hermione.

256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the

position.

257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.

258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much

they injure themselves diving for cover.

260. I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

261. - Especially not all of them at once.

262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.

264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not comment about how the Minister of Magic is "packing."

265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on

the new moon.

266. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.

267. - Likewise the satellite dish.

268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin

boys if they've mastered it yet.

269. The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop

insinuating that he is.

270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.

271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the

Wolfsbane potion every month.

272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as

'Spock'.

275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during dinner in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'

277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's

office'.

278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

279. -Especially not with kazoos.

280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.

281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an

hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

282. When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you

are looking for'.

283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.

286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.

287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile,

Robin!'

288. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'

289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.

290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.

291. -Or Wicca.

292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.

293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.

294. -Or the referee.

295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.

296. I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum.

297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.

298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

300. -Neither is Professor Snape.

301. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

302. The house elves are not there to do my homework.

303. Neither are the ghosts.

304. I am not a magical creature.

305. I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

306. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

307. Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die.

308. Seamus Finnegan does not have a pot of gold under his bed.

309. -Or under his robe.

310. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

311. Grindewald is not my role model.

312. -Neither is Voldemort.

313. I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

314. I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

315. -Including my own.

316. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history

in my Muggle Studies class.

317. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

318. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts.

319. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

320. I will not attempt to make Professor's Trelawney's predictions come true.

321. Professor Snape's problem is not that "he needs to get laid".

322. Draco Malfoy is not a ferret animagus.

323. Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

324. -Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

325. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

326. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.

327. Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

328. Regardless of how much Professor Snape's hair might annoy me, it is inappropriate to sneak into his room at night

and shave it off.

329. -Likewise, it is unkind to make the aforementioned hair into a wig and wear it to potions class.

330. -Nobody cares that it makes me feel "pretty".

331. Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.

332. Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

333. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

334. I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

335. "OMGWTF" is not a spell.

336. Cornelius Fudge does not appreciate being called "Fudgie the Whale.

337. Shouting "Accio Dobby!" is not the proper way to get house-elf assistance.

338. I will not go into Dumbledore's pensieve looking for graphic faculty smut.

339. It is not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

340. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

341. The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much

forgivable".

342. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

343. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

344. I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in

the showers.

345. I am not allowed to forget my Omnioculars in either the boys' or the girl's bathroom. Especially not while they

are in recording mode.

346. I am not allowed to leave the catnip out in Professor McGonagall's class.

347. I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

348. I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

349. I will not give Professor McGonagall catnip, hairball medicine or string for Christmas, no matter how much I think

she will like them.

350. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore. Even if it would be amusing.

351. -Not even if I want to try to convince others he's going senile

352. I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies. Nor will I ask it of Professor

McGonagall.

353. I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for

that matter doing any other activity.

354. Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is

forbidden.

355. Telling people that Professor Snape is an animagus and turns into a snake is not recommended.

356. Please do not tell 1st years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl.

357. I will not get a muggle tattoo artist to tattoo the Dark Mark on any part of my body.

358. I will not tell 1st year Hufflepuffs that the Dark Lord eats Hufflepuffs for breakfast. Or any other meal. And

then tell them that if they inform anyone of the warning the Dark Lord will choose them next.

359. Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes

it.

360. Please stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student.

361. I am not to "walk on water" in front of muggles.

362. I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms.

363. I am not to tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have my friends/other

people to call Ni from various directions.

364. Draco Malfoy is not a vampire.

365. -Especially not a vampire named 'Spike'.

366. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.

367. Pinning Confederate flags to the backs of Death Eater masks is not wise.

368. Voldemort does not wish to appear in a Visine commercial.

369. -Or as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics.

370. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore,

'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.

371. The ceiling of the Great Hall would not look better as an Omni IMAX dome.

372. Calling Voldemort "Baldemort" is inappropriate.

373. When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'.

374. I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

375. Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.

376. -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.

377. Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

378. I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.

379. I cannot lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.

380. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom.

381. I cannot charm all dictionaries to have: "Gryffindor" as the definition of "gullible."

382. Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

383. Robes are not optional.

384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.

385. There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".

386. -Even if I do conjure him up.

387. Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Harry" in Neville Longbottom's books is both unfunny and cruel.

388. I will not sing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song when the Weasley family passes by.

389. -Or the "Hee-Haw" theme song.

390. -Or "Eight is Enough".

391. Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised.

392. Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable.

393. I will not ask the school to sponsor a break dancing crew.

394. Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.

395. Getting Colin Creevey drunk and steering him toward a sleeping Harry Potter is just a bad idea all around.

396. -Then using his camera to take incriminating photos is not nice.

397. Coming up behind Harry while he and Draco are glowering at each other and saying "Oh, go on and kiss him already!"

is not funny.

398. -Even if Luna Lovegood does say, "Yes, I thought so too."

399. I am not a Balrog animagus.

400. The house never did fall on Professor Umbridge's sister, nor is she suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder

as a result.

401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.

402. I will not ask people what their daemons are.

403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna.

404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another

house.

405. I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.

406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.

407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.

408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with

apples.

409. Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes.

410. -Neither is Dracula.

411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.

412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.

413. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas

present to the House means you should watch your back until June.

414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.

415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.

416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.

417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they

"obviously aren't cut out for this school".

418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a whole

handful simultaneously.

419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint.

421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASH

SLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"

422. I will not give Hagrid Pokmon cards and convince him that they are real animals

423. -Likewise, I will not tell First Year Muggle-borns that Pokmon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures

curriculum

424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.

425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

428. The Crucible is not summer reading for History of Magic, and I should not tell First Years that it is.

429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.

430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.

431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove

otherwise.

433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a

nom-de-plume.

434. - I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.

436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.

437. -Especially if he's wearing it.

438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.

439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor or any similar character is not an appropriate

subject for a Muggle Studies essay.

441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and

Darryl.

443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".

444. -Even if that is an accurate description.

445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

447. I am not allowed to spank others.

448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.

449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.

450. -This goes double for superglue.

451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.

452. -Or on the grounds.

453. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.

454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.

455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.

456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe.

457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.

458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide said service.

459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.

460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form.

461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother

and sister?"

462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

463. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

464. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they

are learning.

465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look more like Orlando Bloom.

466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season.

467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".

468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.

469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and

Magenta.

470. -Especially to their faces.

471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.

472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'

473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'

474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

475. Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.

476. -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.

477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable.

478. -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.

479. Or 'I'm too sexy'.

480. I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal

times.

481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'.

482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"

483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is

just wrong, funny, but wrong.

484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good-looking ones die young with a picture

of Cedric Diggory on it.

485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.

486. -Especially if it's not true.

487. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.

488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details

489. A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.

490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.

491. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.

492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.

493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in

any of them.

494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.

495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.

496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around singing "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".

497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.

498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.

499. -Or Harry and Draco.

500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.

501. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere. It is also disrespectful to Albus Dumbledore's memory.

502. Using Love potion number nine on people is illegal. Therefore I should not make Harry fall in love with Pansy

Parkinson. Again.

503. Draco does not take singing requests, therefore I should stop asking him to sing "Tearing Up My Heart"

504. -or any other songs.

505. This list being used as a checklist is inappropriate, therefore I shouldn't do so.

506. I will not refer to Voldemort as "Voldie-Poo" or "bald-a-fart"

507. I will not enchant Draco so that he looks Emo/Goth to everyone around him except himself.

508. I will not turn myself into Malfoy (Polyjuice potion) and tell everyone in Hogwarts my undying love for Pansy

Parkinson...again.

509. I did not see Malfoy making out with Cho, Crabbe, or Goyle in the girls bathroom, therefore I should not tell Harry

loudly in the great hall.

510. I will not sell the sorting hat for money for cigarettes.

511. I will not mix up potions and magic stuff together and make Ron drink it and tell him it is soda that tastes like

that because a bunny made it just for him.

512. I will not bring an evil creature from the 8th dimension and call it my pet.

513. I won't dress up in a black robe, wear a bald wig and tell people that I'm Voldemort.

514. I won't dress up as the "Dark Magician" or the "Dark Magician Girl" in class.

515. Hogwarts does NOT teach you how to banish people to the "shadow realm".

516. I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade.

517. - Nor will I yell that there is the dark mark floating over somewhere.

518. I will not walk up to Ron and Hermione and say they're the perfect couple

519. - Nor will I tell that to Harry and Ginny

520. - Nor Malfoy and Pansy

521. I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that

bad bad nightmare about Harry.

522. - Nor will I do the same thing with Malfoy and his blanky.

523. - Nor Snape with his girly bunny rabbit slippers.

524. I will not tell Lockhart that he is actually a dancer who stars in Swan Lake.

525. I will not write Moogles instead of Muggles.

526. I will not ask Harry if I can have a thunder bolt scar too.

527. I will not ask Malfoy is Cole his brother

528. - Nor Snape.

529. Draco is not Billy Idol's little brother.

530. I will not ask Draco if I can use his face cream.

531. Saying Voldy is my hero is bad.

532. I will not say that Harry has a female counterpart who stars in a kids education show.

533. -Nor will I say that her name is Sharry Spotter.

534. I will not steal Draco's blanky.

535. I will not yell "I saw Draco and Snape last night!" in the Great Hall or anywhere else.

536. I will not charm Hermione's cat to jump up and yell "Rawr, I'm he-who-must-not-be-named!"

537. I will not try and get zombies to eat Draco.

538. -Nor Snape.

539. I will not follow anyone around saying "pimp hat" at the most random moments.

540. I will not refer to Fred and George as Hikaru and Kaouru.

541. Pokemon are not real, therefore I will not convince Hagrid that Pokemon are real animals so that he'll have a

lesson all about Pokemon.

542. I will not call Professor Dumbledore 'Dumblydork'.

543. I will not confuse Voldemort with Xehanort.

544. -Nor will I say they are related in any way.

545. -Nor mention that their names rhyme.

546. I will not yell, "Harry has a girlfriend! Harry loves Ginny!" in the Great Hall.

547. - Nor will I yell, "Ron loves Hermione!" in the Great Hall.

548. I will not charm a poster of Brittney Spears onto Draco's wall.

549: Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "psychedelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.

550: - The same goes for Professor Trelawney.

551: - Calling that drug something else changes nothing.

552: -Nor does saying they are high on some OTHER drug.

553. I will not tell Dumbledore that there are people outside the books who despise him.

554. - Nor will I say the same thing to Harry.

555. I will not tell Voldemort that he's too freaken lazy to do stuff himself.

556. Cho is not on anti- depressants, nor should I imply that she needs them.

557. Cho's curly haired friend Marietta with her SNEAK pimples is not "before" for a mag.

558. -Rita Skeeter is not "after"

559. Dobby is not Harry's secret lover, no matter how much he wants to be.

560. Saying he's "obviously not good enough..." is just cruel.

561. Calling the ASPCA about the way Ron treated Scabbers (Wormtail) is pointless, as he is already dead, on the run,

or an accomplice depending on where in the books you are.

562: I will not send Fainting Fancies to the Slytherin common room without a antidote, and only a card saying "to the

pretty-est girl in the house". Again.

563: I will not blame the Ravenclaw quiditch team for the entire female population of Slytherin being unconscious for no

apparent reason.

564: I will not let my owl claw out the eyes of the Slytherins.

565: I will not let my wand run amok and paint everyones faces purple

566: I am not to call people with freckles "spotted owls"

567: I will not eat liver then throw it up on Professor Snape.

568: I will not punch the wandboards until they explode.

569. I will stop insisting that Snape and Hermione are secret admirers.

570. - Same goes for McGonagall and Dumbledore.

571. Nearly Headless Nick does not approve of being called Casper the Friendly Ghost.

572. The fact that Dudley didn't like his pig tail does not mean I should keep switching to different tails to find one he

likes better.

573. If muggle children near the school WANTED their baseballs replaced with bludgers they would have said.

574. I will not convince everyone that thegirlnextdoor101 is a horcrux, and that for the sake of the world she MUST die.

575. I will not convince everyone that thegirlnextdoor101 is Lord Voldemort after drinking polyjuice potion.

576. No matter how much I want to, I will not go into Slytherin house, where I will without a doubt find

thegirlnextdoor101 and murder her, then say "Sorry Harry, she was a death eater-in-training. She and Malfoy were in

this together, but I figured I'd leave him to you.

577. I will not ask the real Moody if the real him would turn Malfoy into a feret just like the fake Moody did.

578. -If he says yes, I will not ask him to turn thegirlnextdoor101 into a racoon, a naked mole rat, a vole, or any other rodent)

[I have no idea who thegirlnextdoor101 is but apparently people don't like her]

579. I will not speak out about how inhumane it is to use vanishing charms on living creatures, because I'm sure I will

just be told to "get off my soap box"

580. To actualy make a soap box to stand on, is inappropriate.

581. The Sorcerer's Stone is destroyed and even though they are annoying, first year Slytherins should not be told it's

still down there, as they all want immortality,and the Devil's Snare gets them every time.

582. No one at Hogwarts will buy Harry's gravy stained napkins and having proved this I will not try selling at Hogsmeade

either.

583. -Even if interested buyers like Colin Creevy found me at Diagon Ally, I shouldn't be selling Harry's gravy stained

napkins.

584. -It doesn't matter that he offered me 2 galleons, eleven sickles.

585. I will not use a time turner to hex Malfoy and thegirlnextdoor101 and then have

eye witness's chip in that they saw me in the place of my alibi. (Again have no idea who thegirlnextdoor101 is)

586. I will not bring up and say its an informational website about a

unique breed of diversified creatures, or insist we use the website to learn to care

for them properly.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Sleep-drying is real).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (It's only a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (What? When did it start?!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those suvs.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (But that's so complicated!)

On a child's superman costume:"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...I don't want to know...)

On T-Rat (Military food):Its not for Human Consumption, Animals and Military Use only... (Hey, easy on the military bashing, they're humans too!)

Things to do When Bored in a Store

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" (Been there, done that)

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

20 Percy Jackson Questions

1. Percabeth or Prachel? Percabeth

2. Favorite guy character? YOU Kidding? NICO!!!

3. Favorite girl character? Thalia

4. Favorite God? Apollo ;)

5. Favoite Goddess? Athena

6. Zeus, Poseidon or Hades? Poseidon!

7. Is Luke hot? Yeah!

8. Would you join the hunters? No. . .

9. Archery or sword fighting? Sword Fighting

10. Iris messaging or Hermes express? Iris Messaging!

11. Favorite minor God/Goddess? Nemisis

13. Least favorite? Uh. . . Morpheus? Idk.

14. Would you live year round at Camp Half-Blood or just go in the summer? Year-Round!

15. Favorite couple? How is this differant from favorite pairing? Thalico It isn't.

16. Are you a demigod? YES!

17. Who would be your parent? Athena

18. Favorite minor character? Kayla. (In TLO)

19. Ethan or Luke? Luke

20. Favorite monster? Hydra

The reason for this is that I am a little superstitious:

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded

I sometimes wish that books were real life

I am weird!!! In a good way tho

AND...

I have no and.

('_') so sad.

I cant belive you read this far! CONGRATS!

BYE!!!

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