Age: Older than twelve, less than 100.
Species: Take a guess.
When you are sad, I will dry your tears. When you are scared, I will comfort your fears. When you are worried, I will give you hope. When you are confused, I will help you cope. When you are lost and can't see the light, I will be your beacon shining ever so bright. This is my oath, I shall pledge until the end. You ask why? Because you are my friend.
If you hate stereotypes and think ppl shoud just shut up and stop put this on your profile
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So i must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so i MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl i see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so i MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so i must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so i must only wear black and date only punks.
I'm ASIAN so i must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so i must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so i MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so i MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm ADOPTED so there MUST have been something wrong with me when I was born.
"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."
"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."
"Love knows not age."
"Our lives are not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"To the well organized mind, death is nothing but the next great adventure."
"To deal with words doesn’t make you brave. It’s with silence that cowards are beaten."
"You are the author of your own life story."
"It takes a boy to fight, but it takes a man to walk away from a fight."
"It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we learn how to deceive."
"Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all."
"It takes nobility to give up love for virtues; it also takes stupidity."
"Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfil them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves."
"Love is like war; easy to begin. Hard to end. And impossible to forget."
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; while loving deeply gives you courage."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
"Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday."
"If life can pass you by, there's no reason you can't catch up."
"A best friend is a sister destiny forgot to give you."
“For Dumbledore. Not killing him was a sign of strength, not weakness.” - Draco Malfoy, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by bulmablue-eyes
"It is not that war creates monsters, it is that war brings out the monsters that are already hidden inside."
"Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one is looking."
"When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say."
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something."
"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."
"It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose."
"Perfect the art of looking innocent... then you can get away with anything."
When you’re right no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one ever forgets.
Learn the rules so you can break them properly.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
"There comes a time in every person's life where they want to do nothing more than to throw their hands up in the air, screw honesty, and yell, 'Pirate!'"
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK."
Do not marry a person that you know that you can live with; only marry someone that you cannot live without.
Life is like a haircut. Some are long, some are short. Some are good, some are bad... and some people really need to get one.
Behind every great man is a woman who's about to pass him.
Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.
Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.
Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.
Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.
Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing?
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!
The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.
Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.
In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.
To every boy there is a girl, to every girl there is a longing to hit her boy in the head with a bat and run away.
If you agree that it is SO unfair that all good looking guys are either: in your head, in a manga, a vampire, taken, or two or three of the above, copy and past this on your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and lose when it's weird. If you agree copy this and put it in your profile.
Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you've ever tripped on your own two feet copy and paste this in your profile.
If you hate obnoxious ,snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this in your profile.
92 percent of the English teen pouplation would be dead if Abecrombia and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath.Copy and paste this in your profile if you are the 8 percent who would be laughing their asses off at the others. (I wear it, doesn't mean I'm that stupid.)
If you've gotten completly zoned out of a converstation that you don't even remember what you were talking about copy and paste this in your profile.
If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are bored copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think child abuse is horrible copy and paste this in your profile.
If murders make you sick copy and paste this in your profile.
If you think that looks don't matter (well most of the time you think that) copy and paste this in your profile.
Also, this is the reason you can't beta your own work. No matter how correct your work looks there is always a mistake, no one is perfect!!
You know you live in 2012 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
If you've ever been standing up perfectly straight and fallen flat on your face paste this onto your profile.
If you like these copy and paste thingies then paste this on your profile.
If you draw anime/manga paste this onto your profile.
if you like writing paste this onto your profile.
If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.
Fang 98 percent human, 2 percent bird, 100 percent hott! If you believe that Fang is hott, copy and paste this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
Thingys to copy and paste into your profile
Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It’s good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It’s actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.
It’s impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now... make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!!
WISH WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been received.
Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...
Your wish will be granted.
Friends: Call your mom and dad "Mrs, and Mr" and you grandpa "Sir"
Best Friends: Call Your mom and dad "MA AND PA"and your granpa "GRAMPS!"
Friends: will leand you their unbrella
Best Friends: Will take yours and say, "Run you idiot, I aint waitin' for you!"
Friends: will take your drink from you when they think you've had enough
Best friends: Will be just as drunk, and will say "Don't wast that!"
Friends: Will tell you he's not worth the tears
Best friends: Will walk up to him, in front of his friends, and say, "It's because your gay isn't it?"
Friends:will bail you out of jail.
Best friends: Will benext to you saying, "@&! we messed up!"
Friends: will tell the guy off, in private, the next day
Best friends: Will call him saying, "You will DIE in a week, now go apalogize to your latest girlfriends! Or I'll kill you today!"
Friends: Will steal your guy
Best friends: Will beat up your friends, and then your boyfriends!
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Ignore these things as much as they can.
BEST FRIENDS: Repost this on their accounts, then tell others to do the same
REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP?
Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now
GUYS GET IT RIGHT
1. If you like Her ... ASK HER OUT already.
2.When you hug her, put YOUR ARMS around her WAIST and hold her close.
3. when you WALK next to her, get as CLOSE as you can to her.
4. if she's the only one in your life, TELL HER.
5.ALWAYS let her know how much you like her, love her, or think about her.
6. give her presents and cards for no reason, SHE WILL RETURN THE FAVOR... ALWAYS. (you don't have to buy us presents)
7. if she hangs up on you, call her right back!
8.always offer to pay, if she says NO twice, then let her pay but make a deal that you get to pay next time (date offer too!).
9. kiss her lightly every chance you get.
10. look in her eyes and kiss her on the lips, forehead, or nose.
11. if she says she's cold, don't be an idiot and say 'me too' and stand there, give her your jacket or just simply hold her in your arms.
12. don't force her to do anything she's not comfortable with.
13. invite her to dinner or somewhere where you can talk, instead of the movies.
14. try not to ask her if she's mad at you EVERY TIME you speak to her.
15. Always tell her you LOVE her only if you really mean it.
16. DON'T pressure her to do anything she isnt READY to do. When she is ready, she will let you know. She just wants everything to be more SPECIAL and PERFECT. So appreciate what she does do with you.
17. DON'T go and tell your friends anything that happens between you two, cause it will hurt her and make her mad...and it will NEVER happen again.
GUYS- repost if you are going to treat your next gf this way, or do treat her this way.
GIRLS- repost if you think guys should do this
15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Ninja of the Flames, Spuffy on Hiatus, ilovekyosohma, Chishio Naito, Kish's Kittie, Kitty Kat K.O., NikkiNya6, Mizuki Hamihachi, Abyss Prime
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
-If you're against animal cruelty; horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile!
Too many people have smoked marijuana. If you haven't, write this to your profile.
If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it longer!
· Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking.
· Don't show off driving, if you want to race go to Indianapolis.
· Excuses never please anyone but the person giving them.
· Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
· There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
· Don't let what others think decide who you are.
· Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone
You can know someone better in a moment of honesty than you ever can in a lifetime of lies.
· Don't let your life wait for other people.
· Dropping a cellular phone in a bathtub full of water kinda will kill the phone.
· Your mother will find out if you dye your hair purple.
· Don't ever fall in love with someone more than 1,000 miles away, it usually doesn't work.
· If it hurts, DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!
· If you fall on your friends rollerblades and end up with a huge scar on your leg from falling, don't use the same friends rollerblades again when you have brand new pants on!
· What does not kill you will ultimately make you stronger.
· Speaking in public gets easier with practice.
· Don't do cheers off a diving board.
· Ten years from now (or sometimes even next year) what we freak out about or are embarrassed by won't matter.
Zits always pop up when you really can't afford for them to pop up.
· When in doubt, duck. When certain don't bother, cuz you're already screwed.
· If your teacher tells you to quit talking after a test or he'll give you a zero for the test grade, he means it. Really.
· Sometimes smart people can do very, very stupid things.
· Nothing is ever too good to be true.
· Instead of waiting for life to get better, do something about it.
· You REALLY should do what needs to be done NOW, and not later. Procrastination is the easiest way, but not the most profitable.
· If your intuition is telling you not to do something, then don't. Your intuition is not stupid!!
· If he doesn't respect you, he's not worth any of your time.
· Sticking things up your nose isn't the smartest idea in the world!
· You can't light fireworks in the basement and not get caught.
· Hair is flammable. VERY flammable.
· Never ever trust your friend with a scissors against your hair.
· White cats/dogs don't mix with black clothes.
· Someday you will look back on this and it will all seem funny.
· You never know when you're making a memory.
If you can laugh at yourself, you are going to be fine.
· If you allow others to laugh with you, you'll be GREAT!
· Kissing is the most fun thing. Dancing is almost as fun.
· Chose your friends carefully, you are what they are.
· There are two kinds of people in this world...those that play hopscotch and sing in the shower, and those that lie alone at night with tears in their eyes. Everyone has a choice as to which we want to be...and everyone is a little of both.
· Milk crates make boring pets.
· Never pierce your belly button in the dark...or with a safety pin.
· Never, ever, EVER let someone of the opposite make you compromise your standards. Never.
· Truly anything is possible when you follow your heart. The sky is no longer the limit.
· Mistakes...we all make them. Sometimes if we're lucky, an eraser will do the trick, we can rub it across the page, wipe away the dust, and all that's left of our careless mess is a hardly noticeable smudge. But some mistakes can't be erased, no matter how old or young we are.
· When you're 14 and don't even have your temps don't try driving...especially when all your friends are around watching.
· Dance like no one is watching.
· Write like no one is gonna read your words.
· BE YOURSELF. It's hard to be someone else anyway.
· Don't say something you wouldn't want your parents, God, or your crush to hear.
· Even before you say sorry (volunteer or otherwise), think about how you would feel in their shoes. THEN you can properly say sorry
· If you find out your boyfriend has been cheating on you, don’t go up to him in public, yell at him, and then slap him; it will make both of you look bad. Alternative: Talk with him, alone. And if you find out that he’s been cheating on you for more than a month, then slap him as hard as you damn well can. -Storm Midnight
· Never jump over a hurdle without experience or supervision, It hurts! - Mist Lionshade
· If you yell at your older (male) sibling , but you don’t physically fight with him, you're scared of him. If he yells at you, but doesn't physically fght with you, he is a wimp and you have the right to call him a . - Light Mischief
· It takes someone great to give me a real smile on my face. - Littlewhisker
· It takes someone even greater to make you cry. - Littlewhisker again.
· Cats make better friends than friends do. They can be forced to sit there and listen and won't complain, they can purr you to sleep, and they're great for when you want to cut yourself but can't find anything better than a butter knife. Not that you'd ever need them too. - Commander Gecko S.
- Heads up really means heads down...trust me i have experience. Snowfeather
· Fun uses more time than boredom, meaning if you have fun the day goes quickly and if you just board it's slow as a snail (when you think an hour is gone, it's only 10 minutes). - Melody x Saki
-Life is like cake. It's big, sweet, and better with friends. But don't take it all at once. Slow down, and enjoy life one bite at a time. -ZephyrFiction
-When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!- The Silver Kira Fox
-Love what you have when you have it! - NikkiNya6
-There is no point in telling your family not to ruin your reputation, they'll do it anyways. mizuki
Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
-I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. (not unless you dont get caught)
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store
-Love me or hate me personally I could care less
I-'m the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
I say jump." "I say how high." "You don't say anything. You just jump." Jake and Heaven - Samurai Girl
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile!
92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch wasn't cool to breath any more, Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off!
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile!
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't emo, copy and paste this in your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the hell is the ceiling?
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
Sometimes i wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.
Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Don't take life to serouly, no one gets out alive anyway
Life's tough...Get a helmet
I can be Mrs. Cullen, you can be Mrs. Black you can die and I can live forever!
I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends
Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do
Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died
Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid
Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain
If You Die In An Elevator Make Sure To Press The "Up" Button
Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
"I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned."
"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."
"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."
"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"He who laughs last didn't get it."
"That ain't no etch-n-sketch. That's one little doodle that can't be undid, home skillet."
"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."
"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."
"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."
"Hell's not so bad if you get to keep an angel with you." Emmett Cullen
"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." Walt Disney
TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
3. "The coffee machine is broken..."
2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
1. " ... AMEN!"
Species: ... Vampire?
Okay, so this is Cryptic and my friend with the above post is Imes. She and I are writers who write about probably some of the most random shiznit ever. We are a REALLY weird combo. She is obsessed with Transformers fics, while I am obsessed with Band fics about bands like My Chemical Romance. Basically, when we make a crossover story,and we will eventually, it will be really weird... Anyway, in conclusion, I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but I just broke my personal record for number of days without dying. You jealous? No? Okay...
Ahh, yes; and a quote from Gerard Way, which is so true for me every time the sun beams down on me for more than thirty minutes:
"I got sunburned, which is obviously a drag for me because, in theory, the sun is supposed to kill me."
Hey Abby here, what she says is true. She has serious sun/skin problems for no reason. It is acually very funny to watch her scream with pain... Jk, but still it's funny to her her complain about nothing... I go away now.