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Dance With Mustaches PM
Bio
Biography
Joined Nov '12

So I guess I should tell you about myself.

Hair: Light brown/dark blonde

Eyes: One brown and one green (I am a mutant OuO)

I am a 'merican and I like burgers (or however you spell it XD)

And now, for some random thingamabobers.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile

If you ever fallen over laughing for no reason cut and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever cut and pasted cut and paste this on your profile.

If you talk back to the TV cut and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever want to be a cat copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish to be Squirrelflight or Leafpool copy and paste this into your profile

If you think warriors is the best books of all copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish the warriors books are true copy and paste this into your profile (you mean it isn't!? DX)

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

If you act random most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are sugar high most of the time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile

If you think Brambleclaw SUCKS, and Squirrelflight should've chose Ashfur or Stormfur COPY AND PASTE AND LET THE WORLD KNOW!

If you've searched google for the weirdest things, copy and paste this on your profile

If you can't decide who Crowfeather should be with, and can think of good reasons for Leafpool and Feathertail but not that icky Nightcloud, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't an emo dipstick, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think (or know) you're obsessed with warriors, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese," "cookie," or "pie," copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

IF YOU LOVE WARRIORS, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

12) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Hawkfire- it is if your Falconswoop.)

22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".

28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays.

29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.

34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

52.)I may not have a private army.

53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west.

56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

63.) - Especially not all of them at once.

64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry

93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

10 Ways To Be Stupid

1. ASK for directions to a place you're already at.
2. TRY to order pizza from McDonalds.
3. GET hit by a parked car.
4. TRY to watch Saturday cartoons on a Thursday.
5. TRY to sell your money.
6. TRY to play the alphabet on the piano.
7. EAT all you can eat at a store.
8. GET into a fight with yourself and lose.
9. TRY to go swimming without getting wet.
10. ASK for diet water at a restaurant.

How to annoy your parents

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.
2. Moo when they say your name.
3. Pretend to have amnesia.
4. Say everything backwards.
5. Run into walls.
6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.
7. Go into their room at four in the morning and say, "Good Morning Sunshine!"
8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.
9. Say all of the words in a film.
10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA!"
11. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm retarded!"
12. Talk to a pen.
13. Have twenty imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.
14. Try and climb the wall.
15. In public yell, "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"
16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.
17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say, "Oh...I get it!"
18. Eat your hair. (I wouldn't recommend it - you might get hairballs).
19. When you shower or bath yell, "I'm drowning!"
20. At everything they say yell, "LIAR!"
21. Pretend to be a phone.
22. Try to swim on the floor.
23. Tap on their door all night.

My mother taught me...

1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
3. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going with me."
5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
6. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
18. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"
19. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
21. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
23. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING. "You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more."
25. And my favourite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

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