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Insane Days and Evil Laughs PM
Joined Apr '13

Hello All Fellow Lovers of A Good Story!

Obviously I don't have any stories to my name. That is because while I love to read and I have several story ideas, I know that I do not have the attention span nor dedication to do a story justice. (At least not currently.) Instead I will put up challenges for the ideas I have and hopefully inspire a few others to create even more stories. Though this will probably wont happen until the semester ends. For now I am just going to just collect others stories in my favorites section and enjoy every minute of it...

Forget all of that. I actually think that I have a story idea that I can carry through on. Well, I have several but I figure that I would start with the smallest. Squeeee! I know that there are tons of writers on this site but the idea of joining them is so exciting to me. Hopefully I will have the first chapter up before too long. I would already have the first up (I'm almost 7,000 words in) but my second summer course caught me off guard and has slowed down my writing. To an almost complete standstill. I will put my story up one day, I just have to get far enough in to make sure its decent.

Anyways, a little back ground information on ME!

I love to read (duuuhhhh), and have done so obsessively for the past 8 years. (I'm 21 so that's most of my life :O ) I'm female I have several cats and I always carry around too many bags. (Does this make me a cat lady with bags or a bag lady with cats?) For me I don't care whether the story is sad, or happy, or dark, or inspiring, or funny as long as it is told well, and with passion. (and Harry Potter) I live in the South of the US and even though I am not a redneck I do believe in the almighty power of duct tape. I would put my views of religion here but that always seems to draw the crazys. In college currently, working for a Exercise and Health Science major, and trying to remember every part of the body and how it works. Tried once and for a day my brain felt like it was on FIRE. I was ALIIIIVE! I could see into the FUTURE. Regularly pull all nighters and once found out that if you take a five hour energy and you haven't eaten for 12 hours then you might hallucinate. As soon as it hit my system I spent the next half hour following the little lights with my eyes. And I was Driving! Never doing that again. I regularly do odd crap just to confuse people. It makes my life so much more interesting. On boring days I am known to hide near places where I know people make out and make freaky noises to scare them off. I never stay in one place long so they cant come after me. I think that Snape was a sexy bitch in the early movies, but then he got fat and I wanted to swear at everyone that let that happen. He looks much less intimidating with a double chin and a gut. UGH! (There will be more here later when I am not so tired.)

Hey, could you guys who find my profile do me a favor and PM me about how you are finding my profile. Because I'm at a loss to see how and I'm curious. I mean, I don't have a story up yet so I know that no one is finding me that way.

Here are some funny and inspiring sayings to make your day more interesting. I'll start with the ones that inspired my profile name ; )

- Knowledge is power, Power corrupts, So study hard and be evil (Favorite quote EVER)

- " Na! ", this is an ancient Chinese curse that means 'may you live in interesting times' (scary stuff)

- "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" until you take away her chocolate while she's PMSing, and then your life is forfeit.

- Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

- The factor of bitchyness of a woman experiencing PMS at the same time and in the same building as another woman experiencing PMS increases exponentially, not multiplicatively.

- Best way to deal with unpleasant people: Confuse them and then leave quickly.

- The voices in my head find you funny, they won't stop laughing, MAKE THEM STOP THEIR DRIVING ME INSANE!

- I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, And you accept the consequences...

- Note to self: Trying to train boyfriend like a dog may result to peeing in public.

- Women who behave rarely make history.

- Scars are tattoos with better stories.

- Procrastination is a road that takes you... You know, I'll just do this later.

- Never do today what you can put off till tomarrow.

- "I don't have a social disorder, you are a social disorder!" (I have actually heard a person say this.)

- "Be nice or I'll sick my pet demon on you." (I have actually heard a person say this. She was my best friend at the time.)

- "Just know that the angrier you make me the more I want to blow up your head with my mind," (I said this to a teacher in high school. In my defence she was a bitch.)

- The liberties people enjoy are hard won by the sacrifices of those who fight for them.

- I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase because I think it would be funny to watch cops chase a donut truck on the news.

- (actual sign at a restaurant) "We love kids but please keep yours at your table. Unattended kids will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy."

- Life sucks and then you die

- Three people can keep a secret if two of them are dead. (Benjamin Franklin)

- 'I reject your reality and substitute my own" - Adam Savage (Mythbusters)

- Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive - Josephine Hart

- "What's popular is not always right and what's right is not always popular." -Unknown

- I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We're on the same side now.

- A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...

- JUDGE ME, and I'll prove you wrong; TELL ME WHAT TO DO, and I'll tell you off; SAY I'M NOT WORTH IT, and watch were I end up; CALL ME A JERK, and I'll show you one; SCREW ME OVER, and I'll do it to you twice as bad; CALL ME CRAZY, and you really have no idea!!

- “Uzumki Naurto rule one,” she said. “Impossible is not a limitation, it’s a challenge. Challenge accepted!” -- (Said by Kurenai-sensie when talking about Naurto and his unique role as Konoha's number one unpredicible genin.)-- From Contramancer's "Project Naurto: Shinobi X"

- If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

- Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

- Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

- The best mind-altering drug is truth.

- 'Who ever said nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door'

- 'Wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman"

- 'I'm the man of the house, and i have my wife's permission to say so'

- 'We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public'

- 'If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?'

- 'If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk'

- 'You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same'

- 'Just be yourself everyone else is taken'

- "I'm just messing with your head, unless I'm not, and then you really should be worried."

- I do not have OCD. I have Obsessive Compulsive OH LOOK A SQUIRILL.

- The only difference between the life of the party and a mental patient is how much clothing they are willing to take off before the actual party.

- A good friend will bail you out of jail at 4 in the morning. A great friend will be with you in jail saying "That was crazy bitch!" But a best friend will kill the good and great friend so they can't tell the secret and then help you hide the bodies.

- If duct tape can't fix it... then you are just fucked!

- The angry e-mail just isn't enough anymore... When are we going to perfect the e-slap?

- What was it that made us say Fuck you to MySpace and hello to FaceBook? (Is there even any real difference?)

- Twitter: every stalker's dream, you can follow someone's every move with out getting closer than the restraining order allows.

- Damn You Auto Correct!

-Time is a great teacher, but sadly it kills all its students.

- There are stupid people AND stupid questions. Your teacher lied to you.

- Men are like bank accounts, without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

- Take revenge, crap on a pigeon.

- When you're home alone and someone knocks on the door: 10% say "who is it?"/ 64% look through the peep hole/ 25% open the door/ and 1% crawl around on the ground like a ninja and look through the window very quietly to make sure it isn't a serial killer. (Repost this if you are that 1%)

- If Momma ain't happy, nobody is happy.

- That moment when you walk into a spiderweb and suddenly become a karate master

- Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most.

- Heaven wont have me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

- Sometimes I pretend to be normal but then I get bored and go back to being me.

- Nothing says that you mean business like using a cart in a liquor store.

- Last night I layed in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought, "Where the fuck is the ceiling?"

- I'm not short, I'm fun sized. And if you call me short again I'll cut you off at the shins and make you fun sized too.

- Best revenge that I ever saw was when my sister's best friend put IcyHot in the jock strap and itching powder in the underwear of the football player that cheated on my sister. She did it just before his game and long story short he got pulled out of the game early for grabbing and scratching his crotch and ass too much during the game. the rash lasted a week.

- Fun trick: stand backwards in an elevator and watch as people copy you. Its hilarious.

- True fact: Pandas are not as cudly as they appear. They will attack you if you bother them and will even kill their own young if the baby panda alarms them. I saw an internet video about a panda mother and its baby in a Chinese zoo. One day the pandas were just laying together in their exibit and the baby suddenly sneezes. The mother rears up with a sort of barking/ coughing roar and smashes an upraised paw on the baby's head, killing it instantly. The mother just lays down and acts like nothing happened as the zoo personel rush to cover the glass windows to the viewing stage.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .


You'll always be my friend. You know too much.

The man who smiles when things go wrong, has thought of someone to blame it on.

I’m not as random as you think I SALAD!

If explosives didn't solve your problems you obviously weren't using enough of them

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow

To put it nicely, I hope you choke.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

I do what cheerios tell me.

I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!

I'm knocking on heaven's door.. voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...

If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.

My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...

Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

How to live insanely at an elevator:

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates (an incomplete compilation)

  1. Pillage, then burn.
  2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on.
  3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
  4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
  5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
  6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
  7. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it’s on the far side of the airlock.
  8. Never turn your back on an enemy.
  9. Sometimes the only way out is through the hull.
  10. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
  11. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
  12. Do unto others.
  13. “Mad Science” means never stopping to ask “what’s the worst thing that could happen?”
  14. Only you can prevent friendly fire.
  15. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
  16. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he’s lucky just to be alive, and he’ll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
  17. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.
  18. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
  19. If the damage you do is covered by the manufacturer's warranty, you didn't do enough damage.
  20. Don’t be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
  21. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy. No more. No less.
  22. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll go.
  23. Only cheaters prosper.
  24. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
  25. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
  26. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
  27. There is no ‘overkill.’ There is only ‘open fire’ and ‘I need to reload.’
  28. Just because it’s easy for you doesn’t mean it can’t be hard on your clients.

10 Commandments of Survival:

1: Don't bring a knife to a gunfight... or rather, don't bring just a knife.

2: Battle plans never survive contact with the enemy... so be the enemy.

3: All else being equal, even the slightest edge matters.

4: Never trust someone who smiles all the time, they're up to something.

5: Speak softly and carry a big stick... heck, speak softly and carry a big gun.

6: Praise the Lord... but pass the ammunition.

7: If something seems too good to be true, it probably isn't.

8: 'Friendly Fire' isn't.

9: The price of liberty is constant vigilance. (Just ask Mad-eye...)

10: Expect the worst, the pessimist can only be pleasantly surprised.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Dark Akuma Hunter (NZ), Insane Days and Evil Laughs (USA)

This is a quote from Dead Poets Society that was recently used in an advertisement for the iPad Air. Despite the fact that it was used in a commercial I loved it and decided that I wanted it here. -"We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering--these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love--these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, 'O me, O life of the questions of these recurring. Of the endless trains of the faithless. Of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer: that you are here. That life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.' That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?"

And Something a Little More Serious : (

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

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