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Joined May '13

Hi everyone! My profile is pretty big now! :) Read on!

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who wants to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time” When someone walks in.

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom:

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore.

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know.

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'.

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.

-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)

-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)

-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’

-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.

-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.

-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.

-If you tend to collect the Bic Stics people leave lying around, kind of like picking pennies off the ground.

-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.

-If people think you might have A.D.D.

-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.

-If you start constantly talking in third person, present/past tense.

-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.

-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

WHAT AM I?

PREP

You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie and Fitch.
You own something from Pacsun.
You own something from Hollister.
You own something from American Eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.

GOTHIC

Black is one of your favorite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic
You have worn black lipstick.
Your hair was/is dark.
You dislike preps.
You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic.

PUNK

You can skateboard.
You've worn plaid.
You like Converse
You hate MTV.
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair.
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.

GEEK

You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts.
You get straight A's.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.

EMO

You cut yourself over depression.
You have been depressed.
You have black rimmed glasses.
You like the band Evanescence.
You cry easily.
You like emo music.
You hate being called emo.
You keep/have kept a journal/diary.
You have written a sad poem
You think emo chicks/guys are hot.

GHETTO/GANGSTA

You like rap.
You are/was in a gang.
You wear/wore rubberbands in your pants.
You swear once in a while or a lot.
You have freestyled.
You have worn high tops with the tongue flipped out.
You can break dance.

HARDCORE/SCENE

You like loud music.
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band Panic! At the Disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance.
Hair has been died more than 1 color.

ATHLETIC

You watch/watched the Superbowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
your garage consists of sports equipment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp
You have a specific number.

Top Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is 'Wrong'

1) Being gay is not natural. Real America has always reject unnatural things like glasses, plastic surgery, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed!

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

Please repost this if you are for gay marriage.

Ways To Annoy People In An Elevator

1. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
2. Ask, "Did you hear that cable snapping sound?"
3. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
4. Hold the elevator door open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi John, how's your day been?"
5. Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
6. Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
7. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
8. Say while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, "I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in."
9. Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
10. Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream, "You're one of THEM!" And cower in the far corner of the elevator.
11. When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming, "Let me out!"
12. When there's only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
13. When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay! Don't panic, they'll open again!"

Some Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. Finish all your sentences with "... in accordance with the prophecy."
6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat- with a serious face.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9 don t use any punctuation
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
14. Have your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won!"
16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!!"
17. AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY... PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE TO MAKE SOMEONE SMILE :)

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been received.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

Female Comebacks

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this your profile.

If you have ever had a laughing fit for no reason post this on you're profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If your a fangirl/boy and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you walk into walls because you have your nose in a book, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.

If you have a story in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 of teens have moved onto rap, if your part of the 8 that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect, Copy this to your profile.

I read SMUT so I MUST be a pervert

I like CRACK PAIRS so I MUST be stupid or crazy

I like CANON PAIRS so I MUST be and uptight asshole that gets into everybody's face about it.

I like characters when their kept IN CHARACTER and not OOC'ed so I MUST be a uptight asshole that gets into everybody's face about it.

I like to write the characters THE WAY I SEE THEM so I MUST OOC them

I write SLASH so all the male characters I write about MUST be way to girly or a rapist (aka OOC)

I hate MARY SUE'S so I MUST hate OC'S.

My name is Sarah. I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the hard wall I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.

There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah. And you can help.Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you would have to be one heartless person to not be affected by this story. And because you are affected, do something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society,and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die,but also pray for the safety of our youth. Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might sound, it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know. Please put this on your site if you are AGAINST CHILD ABUSE

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

Love your enemies! It really pisses them off

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

I did what they say and chose the road less traveled...Now where the heck am I?

Don’t knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving isn't for you.

When life gives you lemons,make apple juice,then laugh while people try to figure out how the hell you did it.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full,just drink it and get it over with.

WARNING:Do NOT follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.

I'm not afraid of Death.What's he gonna do,kill me?

Guys: No shirt,no service. Girls: No shirt, no charge.

It's always in the last place you look...of course it is! WHY would I keep looking AFTER I found it?

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping. When men are depressed, they invade another country.

Boys are like dogs: You say hi, pat them on the head, and they follow you home.

The surest sign of intelligent life out there is that none of them has never tried contacting us.

The computer beat me once at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

If you think that Chip the Wolf should just go to the freaking supermarket and buy his own cookie crisp instead of trying to steal someone else's, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you already have a gajillion of these "copy this into your profile" things, copy this into your profile.

If you think homophobia is wrong and get into fights about it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered, copy this your profile.

If you're a fangirl/boy and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever spent more than six hours straight on the computer, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile.

If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason, put this on your profile.

If you just read this whole long list of copy/paste things, and are now wondering why the hell you did that, go see a therapist, and then copy and paste this.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read multiple books at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have a scary crush on a book, anime or game character then copy this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of your characters in your head, please copy this into your profile.

If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you could, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless (but fun), and you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move or burst into song for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rap is the most awful thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that, in another dimension, Johnny Depp actually is Captain Jack Sparrow, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever heard of International Talk Like a Pirate day, copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are strangely obsessed with these copy-paste things, copy and past this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're against stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile, and bold the ones that you identify with.

Stereotypes

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi
I (would love to) hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm (kinda) OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a CUTTER so I MUST want to commit SUICIDE.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I have been ABUSED, so I MUST be an abuser.

We Girls:
Take a walk in the house with a toothbrush.
Read the text on a shampoo bottle.
Laugh ay our own jokes when we haven't even shared it.
Push a door when it clearly says 'PULL'.
We ask, 'What?' when we understand everything perfectly.
Hate it when the wind messes up our hair.
Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything.
Have to call our own phones to find it.
Check the time on our phones when we are wearing a watch.
Turning our pillow around so we sleep on the cold side.
When we stay up late, we count how many hours of sleep we get.
Smiling while reading this. :)
Copy and paste this if you are happy being a girl. :)

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'
FRIENDS: Help you up when you fall down
BEST FRIENDS: Laugh and say, "Walk much, dumbass?"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

Random Messages on Answering Machines

Roses are red, violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, and so are you The roses have wilted, the violets are dead, The sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head The roses stink, sorta like sheep But leave your name, number, and message after the beep The roses are molding, the violets are rotten And I might call you back, if I haven't forgotten

Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

Heaven, God speaking...

Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.

Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)

HOW GUYS FLIRT:

1. He stares at you a lot.

2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a conversation with you

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school.

5. He blew off his buds to go see "Brown Sugar" with you cuz you couldn't get another girl pal to go and didn't want to go alone.

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process

7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You were invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address. ( stalker much? )

13 Things I Hate About Everyone:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? I'mma kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears?, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.
13.McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper.
Teacher: What is this?
Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass.
Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where's the grass?
Kid: The cow ate all of it.
Teacher: (looked at the paper again)Then, where's the cow?
Kid: It left because there was no more grass.
teacher: where is your homework?
boy: i ripped it up and spread it across the playground
teacher: why?
boy: to keep away the elephants
teacher: what elephants?
boy: see its worked!
teacher: ...

1. i need to tell you a secret.(look at #5)

2. the answer is... (look at #11)

3. don't get mad. (look at #15)

4. calm down. (look at #13)

5. first. (look at #2)

6. don't be that mad. (look at #12)

7. i just wanted to say hi lol :P

8. what i wanted to tell you is... (look at 14)

9. be patient. (look at #4)

10. this is the last time okay. (look at #7)

11. i'm not crazy. (look at #6)

12. sorry. (look at #8)

13. don't be hype. (look at #10)

14. i don't know how to say this. (look at #3)

15. you must be ticked off now. (look at #9)

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

What to Do During an Exam
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
3. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
4. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
5. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
6. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
7. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
8. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
9. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.
10. Arrange a protest before the exam starts
11. Show up completely insane
12. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
13. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
14. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
15. Act spazzy
16. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
17. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
18. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
19. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
20. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
21. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
22. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
23. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
24. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
25. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
26. Dress like the professor.
27. Cross-Dress.
28. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
29. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras

PONDER THIS

1. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

2. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

3. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

4. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

5. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

6. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

7. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

8. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

9. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

10. So what's the speed of dark?

11. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

12. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

13. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

14. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops On my desk, I have a work station. Shouldn't that be where the work stops?

15. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

16. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

17. Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?

19. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

20. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

21. Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

22. If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

23. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

24. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

25. Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

26. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

27. Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

28. Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

29. Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

30. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

31. Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

32. Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

33. If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

34. Why is it that 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, it's encouraged!?

35. Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

36. Isn't it weird how the main characters in Maximum Ride and Dark Angel are both genetically recombinant beings named Max?

37. If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

38. Can bald men get lice?

39. Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse

40. Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

41. Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

42. Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

43. "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

44. Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

45. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

46. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

47. Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

48. Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

49. Why they are called "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

50. If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

51. Why is it called common sense if it's so rare

Did you know...

Kissing is healthy.

Bananas are good for Stomach pain.

It's good to cry.

Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94% of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

Lying is actually unhealthy.

You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89% of guys want YOU to make the first move.

It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

Chocolate WILL make you feel better.

Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

A good friend never judges.

A good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

Boys aren't worth your tears.

We all love surprises.

Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH!!!! Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted.

Friends Real and Fake:

Fake: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

Real: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

Fake: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

Real: Will call him up and whisper, "seven days..."

Fake: Helps you up when you fall

Real: Keeps on walking and says, "Walk much, Dumb ass?"

Fake: Helps you find your prince.

Real: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

Fake: Will ask why you are crying.

Real: Will laugh at you and say, "HA HA, Loser."

Fake: Will offer you a soda.

Real: Will dump there's on you.

Fake: Will sit at the side of the pool during that time of the month.

Real: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

Fake: Will help you move.

Real: Will help you move the bodies.

Fake: Will bail you out of jail.

Real: Will be in the next room saying, "That was AWESOME! Let's do it again!"

Fake: Never asks for anything to eat or drink.

Real: Help them selves and are the reason you have no food.

Fake: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs., and Your Grandpa by Grandpa.

Real: Call your parents DAD and MOM, and Grandpa by... GRAMPS!

Fake: Would bail you out of jail.

Real: Would be sitting next to you saying, " Damn! We messed up!"

Fake: Have never seen you cry.

Real: Won't tell anyone you cryed... just laugh about it when you're not down anymore.

Fake: Asks you write down your number.

Real: Has you on speed dial.

Fake: Only know a few things about you.

Real: Could write a very embarrassing biography about you...

Fake: Would leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

Real: Will kick the whole crowd's @$$ that left you.

Fake: Will knock on the door.

Real: Will walk right in and say, "I'M HOME!"

Fake: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

Real: They already know not to tell.

Fake: Ask why you are crying.

Real: Already has the shovel to bury the loser who made you cry.

Fake: Will be there to take your drink way when you say you've had enough.

Real: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say, "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

Fake: Will comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend.

Real: Will go over to his house and kick his butt.

Fake: Bail you out of jail.

Real: Will be sitting next to you singing a jail song.

Fake: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch on movie night.

Real: Will pick "The Ring" and scare you in the process.

Fake: Will be embarrassed when all is silent and you start singing a song that has been stuck in your head for days.

Real: Will be singing along with you.

Fake: Tell you to forget it when you tell them you want to vandalize a guys house.

Real: Are the ones getting fined by the police with you.

Fake: Will think you're insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.

Real: Are jumping with you.

Fake: Come over every couple of months for a sleepover.

Real: Are you weekend boarders.

Fake: Are offended when you make fun of them.

Real: Kick your butt and all's forgiven.

Fake: Are shy around your boyfriend.

Real: Will tease him until he blushes redder that a fire engine.

Fake: Don't see you if you're sick.

Real: Are there when you are under the covers with a thermometer, A book, and your cell.

Fake: Dare you to scream in the street.

Real: Dare you to go streaking.

Fake: Call you retarded for running through the bleachers screaming, "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

Real: Are running and screaming with you.

Fake: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you.

Real: Meet your boyfriend and scare the hell out of him by threating to break every bone in his body if he hurts you.

Fake: Will tell you they know how you feel.

Real: Sit down and cry with you.

Fake: Will ask nicely for stuff.

Real: Will shout "GIMMIE" it.

Fake: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour.

Real: Will call you at two a clock in the freaking morning.

Fake: Will not let you do stupid things.

Real: Will not let you stupid stuff 'alone'.

Fake: Will take you to buy a pregnancy test.

Real: Will stand outside the bathroom screaming, "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

Fake: Will buy you lunch.

Real: Will eat yours.

Fake: Will come ask you for a drink if some random boy grabs you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'.

Real: Will push herself between you and the punk, wrap her arms around you and say, "I'm sorry, she's here with me. Find your own date."

Fake: Will not try anything that will embarrass you while around your crush.

Real: Will crackly evilly and push you on 'accident' into him.

Fake: Would read and ignore this.

Real: Would repost this crap!

Fake: Fade.

Real: Are forever.

W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W

() () (*x*) ( U U )

W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W


LIFE


“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” - Robert Frost


“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss


“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” - Dr. Seuss


“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” - Albert Einstein


"Better get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie." - Khaled Hosseini


LOVE


"Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?"

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"Meeting you was fate. Becoming your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you was beyond my control."

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"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me..."

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"If you cant get someone off your mind, then they are probably meant to be there."

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"God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God give us only one heart? Because he wants us to find the other one."

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"Torn between two. Who would you chose? The one that you love? Or the one that loves you?"

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"The hardest thing to do, is watch the one you love, love someone else."

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"If a star fell each time I thought about you, then the moon would truly realise, what loneliness is really like."

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"Lets commit the perfect crime! I'll steal your heart and you steal mine!"

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"She said 'I'm afraid of falling ...' and he whispered 'I have wings.'"

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"The worst feeling you'll ever feel, is sitting next to the Person, who means the world to you, knowing that you mean nothing to them."

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"When I first saw you, I was afraid to talk to you. When I first talked to you, I was afraid to like you. When I first liked you, I was afraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you."

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"If you love someone, put their name in a circle, not a heart. Because hearts can be broken but circles go on forever!"

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"Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry."

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"Last night I looked up and matched each star with a reason why I love you. I was doing great, until I ran out of stars."

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"You asked me, whose life was more important. Yours or mine? I answered 'mine'. You walked away angryly, not knowing that you are my life."

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"If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind I would say once; because you never really left."

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"Last night I sent an angel to watch over you, while you were sleeping. It came back early and I asked it why? It said 'Angels dont watch other Angels.'"

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"If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are often broken by words left unspoken."

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"I was finally getting over you and actually believed I didn't need you. I was finally accepting you had another guy. Then you smiled at me and ruined it all."

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"The shortest word I know is 'I'. The sweetest word I know is 'LOVE'. The person I never forget is 'YOU'."


w...w


*What Does Love Mean?*

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all even when his hands got arthritis, too. That's Love." Girl - Age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Boy - Age 4

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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Boy - Age 5

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"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French Fries without making them give you any of theirs." Boy - Age 6

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"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Boy - Age 4

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"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Boy - Age 7

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"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Girl - Age 8

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"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Boy - Age 7

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"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Girl - Age 6

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"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Girl - Age 7

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"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Boy - Age 6

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"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - Age 8

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"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Girl - Age 6

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"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Girl - Age 5

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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Boy - Age 7

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"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Girl - Age 4

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"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Girl - Age 4

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"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Girl - Age 7

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"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Boy - Age 6

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"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot." Girl - Age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. (Now this will melt your heart.)

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."


w...w


Read this "HATE letter". This is a loveletter from a boy to a Girl: However, the girl's father does not like him and wants them to stop their relationship. And so the boy wrote this letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter.

1) "The great love that I have for you 2) is gone, and I find my dislike for you 3) grows every day. When I see you, 4) I do not even like your face; 5) the one thing that I want to do is to 6) look at other girls. I never wanted to 7) marry you. Our last conversation 8) was very boring and has not 9) made me look forward to seeing you again. 10) You think only of yourself. 11) If we were married, I know that I would find 12) life very difficult, and I would have no 13) pleasure in living with you. I have a heart 14) to give, but it is not something that 15) I want to give to you. No one is more 16) foolish and selfish than you, and you are not 17) able to care for me and help me. 18) I sincerely want you to understand that 19) I speak the truth. You will do me a favor 20) if you think this is the end. Do not try 21) to answer this. Your letters are full of 22) things that do not interest me. You have no 23) true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me, 24) I do not care for you. Please do not think that 25) I am still your boyfriend."

Sad ... However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "Read each second line!", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. Please, read it again!


w...w


Why Girls Love Guys:

1. The way we act so innocent sometimes.

2. The way we laugh.

3. The way we smile.

4. The way we get confused.

5. The way we look into your eyes and make everything even just for a second go away.

6. The way we touch you just to let you know we are there.

7. The way we try to defend ourselves when you tease us.

8. The way we stare at you when you are walking down the hall even though our best friend is telling us the scores of last nights big game.

9. The way we seem to pop out of nowhere and slip our arms around you.

10. The way you fit just right in our arms.

11. The way we get embarrassed when we do something clutzy around you and try to cover it up.

12. The way we kiss you when we just had a big fight.

13. The way we kiss you when your day has gone completely wrong.

14. Actually, just the way we kiss you.

15. The way when you hug us, we feel exactly like your childhood teddy bear.

16. The way we can stay on the phone for hours even if we don't have much to say.

17. The way we look at you when we think you are asleep.

18. The way we say 'You look beautiful.' even though you are just in jeans and a t-shirt.

19. The way we stare at you in class and then still stare after we have gotten in trouble for not paying Attention.

20. The way we say 'I LOVE YOU!'


w...w


WHAT EACH KISS MEANS:

- Kiss on the Forehead: We're cute together . - Kiss on the Cheek: We're friends. - Kiss on the Hand: I adore you. - Kiss on the Neck: I want you, now. - Kiss on the Shoulder: Your perfect. - Kiss on the Lips: I LOVE YOU...

WHAT EACH GESTURE MEANS:

- Holding Hands: We definitely like each other. - Holding you tight pressed against each other: I want you. - Looking into each other's Eyes: I like you, for who you are. - Playing with Hair: Let's fool around. - Arms around the Waist: I like you too much to let go. - Laughing while Kissing: I am completely comfortable with you.

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN AUTHOR 1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.

2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.

3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.

4. Spell check is your best friend.

5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.

6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters.

7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.

8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.

9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.

10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.

11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.

12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.

13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.

14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.

15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time.

16. If your not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.

17. You talk to yourself... constantly.

18. You forget what day it is when your writing.

19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.

20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.

21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.

22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.

23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.

24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.

25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.

26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.

27. You dream about your stories.

28. You dream of new stories.

29. You often revisit some of your old stories.

30. You often have to write something a few times before you finally like it.

30. If you failed English 101.

31. Your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

32. You think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.

33. You start constantly talking in third person, past tense.

34. People think you might have A.D.D.

35. You think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.

36. The letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.

37. No matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.

38. When replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.

39. Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

40. People start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.

41. You live off of sugar and caffeine.

42. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’

43. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

44. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

45. You talk to yourself a lot.

46. You check your profile every ten minutes.

47. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews."

48. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite?

49. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic.

50. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet.

51. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest (or goriest O.O) gets a cookie.

52. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction.

53. A story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny.

54. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context.

55. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours. (or all night. who sleeps?)

57. You repost this onto your profile! :)

58. You missed that there was no 56

59. You just looked back up to see if there really IS no 56

60. You're now smiling

15 Things to do when your in Wal-Mart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Walk to a wall or corner and stand there. When an employee asks if they can help you, say, "Why won't this door open?"

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Diamonds are a girls best friend...because they're shaper then knives

Boys are like lava lamps fun to look at, but they don't really do much.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled Bang, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"Guns don't kill people, dads with pritty daughters do." (my dad is safe from doing that *thumbs up*)

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--I'm not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well-aimed.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

If you think its AWESOME for people to review your stories, add your name to this list: Mr. Pichu, Mind Seeker, Metaknight4ever, Liv the Waddle Dee, Sar the hedgehog, CrazyNutSquirrel, MewMewKitty78, BcXbUtCh, ppgrulz123, MilitaryBratUSA, ButtercupXButchForever, Queen BEE 16, Kishu Fanatix Girl

If you think that writing fanfics is fun, put this in your profile!!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you managed to copy and paste to many things, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to push a person of a cliff right now but that person happens to not exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're disgusted by the way most teenagers are acting nowadays, then copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall, door, table, chair, or other large solid object even when it was in plain sight, copy and paste this in your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Silence is golden... but duck tape is silver! (i use the colored duck tape)

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world." If this sentence describes you, copy and paste on your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy and paste this into your profile.

Some people are alive today, simply cause its illegal to kill them, if you think the same copy/paste

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out how you did it.

It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with.

This world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER!!

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Parents spend the first parts of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

R.I.P.- Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye-Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Fred Weasly, Cedric Diggory, and everyone else who had to die to make the Harry Potter series as great as it is.

If you LIKE WAFFLES, copy this into your profile! Add your name- Twilitassassin13, Meco45, RockerGirl0709, CinderXKaoru, ILuvHikaruAndKaoru, Cheshire's Riddles, Kishu Fanatix Girl

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every minute, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

I found a rock. I named my rock. I took my rock to the park. My rock played with other rocks. I lost my rock.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are an absolute anime freak then copy and paste this onto your profile.

Summer has ended and school has started up once again. The thrill of seeing your friends again has worn out, and you're bored, possibly to the death. The following is a list of conquering this boredom in school.

1. Only speak duck (quack constantly).

2. Pretend you're Paul Revere and run through the halls screaming, "The British are coming, the British are coming!"

3. Answer all your teacher's questions in third person. Example: "Bob thinks that EMC2 was created by Einstein.

4. During lunch have your lunch table break out into random Disney songs.

5. Tell your teacher that your Wookie ate your homework.

6. Mutter the same numbers over and over again under your breath.

7. Dress up as a wizard and cast "spells" on your fellow classmates.

8. Dress up as a pirate and ask, "Where's all the Booty?"

9. Pretend you're the Headless Horseman.

10. Do your homework in some exotic language such as Swahili.

11. Sit next to your imaginary friend at lunch.

12. Buy a life size cardboard poser of Andersen Cooper and bring him everywhere.

13. Go up to someone with a ring and exclaim: "It's the ring of power! You must destroy it in the fires of Mount DOOM!"

14. Ride your bike or motorized scooter through the hallways.

15. Throw a barb-b-q in the cafeteria.

16. Start digging a hole in front of the school. When asked what you're doing answer, "I'm going to China!"

17. Inform your school over the loudspeaker that you're an alien and you've come to abduct them all!

18. Pretend you're blind.

19. Bring your 'blankie' to school.

20. During a band concert, when you're supposed to be playing a great classical piece, have the band start playing the Jeopardy song.

21. During a test stand up and yell, "I'm the Lorax, I speak for the trees!"

22. The answer to every question is global warming. Example : "Why did Hitler persecute the Jews?" "Global Warming!"

23. At the end of the announcements say "May the Force be with you."

24. Randomly blurt out: "Mike Wasowski!"

25. Randomly shout out : "I've got a snake in my boots!"

26, Narrate your life. Example: " 'Hi guys!' I said as my friends looked at me like I was crazy."

27. Only write in gel pens.

28. Tap dance through the halls.

29. Fence through the halls.

30. Ask your PE teacher when you're going to be playing Quidditch.

31. Bring the Sorting Hat to school and place it on strangers' heads and yell out the house of which they are in.

32. You could do nothing, but then you'll surely die of boredom.

They were looking through peoples

MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one

myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man

looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my

MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;

youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make

any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high

shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what

ever she could. Her and her friend started to get

worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you

just said about me with your friend like a

minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him

hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes

watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really

matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me

from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its

not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says

love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really

scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was

still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said

anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on

the ground dead. She started to scream but when she

turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two

minutes here will be three men, one in your

bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that

very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them.

THEY HURT HER

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

On December 24th, 2006 at 8:00 in the morning, a 14-year-old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead. Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death. His mother checked his e-mails to see if she could figure out what happened. Turns out he was still signed into his Yahoo e-mail account. She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't send a chain letter about a little girl who kills you in your sleep with no natural cause of death. This is the e-mail she read: My name is Ofelia Heras. I'm 16 years old. I'm a murderer. I have no face. When you look at me you'll die immediately. You have 900 seconds to repost this onto your profile or I will visit you tonight.

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

•I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Who cares about scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh man, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"

•'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

•Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER

•Candy is good for you. Why? Bouncing off walls is good exercise.

•94% of teens would freak out if Justin Bieber was on a 1,000 feet high building threatening to kill himself. I am part of the 6% who brought popcorn, a lawn chair, and would be yelling, "DO A BACKFLIP!!" XD

Me: I'm a Ninja!
You: No you're not!
Me: Did you see me do that?
You: Do what?
Me: Exactly!

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".

7.Don't use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh
Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We messed up, huh?"
Good friends don't let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid things ALONE

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science: 'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts: 'Do you want fries with that?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on videogames

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN MORON RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!!

xxxXxXxxx

xxxXxXxxx

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "DANG! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards, copy and paste this

I agree with the dictionary; girls before boys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I find "good morning" contradictory

My heart? Yeah. Not a playground.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

opps! I appear to have fallen on your lips!

Guys should be like lattes: rich, strong, and hot!

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

xxxXxXxxx

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

xxxXxXxxx

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't.

this is this cat

this is is cat

this is how cat

this is to cat

this is keep cat

this is a cat

this is retard cat

this is busy cat

this is for cat

this is forty cat

this is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

xxxXxXxxx

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random, and proud of it, copy this into your profile!

xxxXxXxxx

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace,or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment),who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with alot of things, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone- Bearhug946, EdwardCullenEqualsLife, Stephanie Deux, Aintzane411, BillieMaysSaysKaboom,Nuns N' Bagels, Damon.x.Baird.x, ita-chan01, TornAngelWings, NobukoXxXAkira, moonlit sprite, Kishu Fanatix Girl

xxxXxXxxx

[5:49:12 PM] Fife: My name is Lilly I am three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I cant do a wrong I cant speak at all Or else im locked up All day long. When im awake im all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come home I'll try and be nice, So maybe ill just get One whipping tonight. I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlies bar I hear him curse My name is called I press myself Against the wall I try to hide From his evil eyes Im so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping Calls me ugly words, He says its my fault He suffers at work He slaps and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And run to the door Hes already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken, 'Im sorry!', I scream But its now much to late His face has been twisted Into a unimaginable shape The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Lilly I am three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me And you can help Sickens me to the soul, And if you read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgivness Because you would have to be One heartless person To not be affected By this Poem And because you are affected, Do something about it! So all I ask you to do Is pass this on! IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE!

100 Ways to Confuse/Torture Your Roommate:


Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.


Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.


Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"


Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."


Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.


Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.


Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.


Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.


"Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.


Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my God! Where the hell am I!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is talking about.


Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."


Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.


Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.


Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.


Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.


Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."


Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.


Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."


If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."


Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how they got there.


Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.


Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"


Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."


Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."


Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.


Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.


Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.


While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.


Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.


Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.


Punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.


Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The next day, start standing in front of the window again.


Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."


Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.


Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.


Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"


Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.


Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bull's eye.


Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.


Call your roommate " Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him " Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."


Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.


Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.


Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.


When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back."


Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."


Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off, say, "What the hell do you think you are? A king?"


Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."


Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."


Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.


Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."


Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.


Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the toaster made you do it.


Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.


Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor).


Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.


Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.


Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.


Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.


Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.


Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."


Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.


Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"


Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."


Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!")


Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if you can box with his/her shadow.


When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.


Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.


Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.


Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.


Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.


Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "Damn road runner..."


Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me." Sign them in blood.


Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.


Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.


Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!


Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.


Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.


Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're talking about.


Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.


Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.


Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.


Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If he/she asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.


Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe..."


Carve a jack-o-lantern. Complain to your roommate that the jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The next day, tell your roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at it. Confide in your roommate that you really don't like the jack-o-lantern, but you can't convince it to move out.


As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.


Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.


Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.


Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.


Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about and hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.


Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."


Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be an earthquake, soon. While your roommate is out, trash everything on his/her side of the room. When he/she returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.


Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a Band-Aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.


Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.


Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.


While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can fire in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that you are just trying to get even.


Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.


Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.


Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies while your roommate is asleep. The next morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the room.

Kumbayah, my Lord, Kumbayah...

Yeah, my mind is a dark and twisted place.

If you have ever thought: I cannot do this, and then done it, copy and paste, and add you name and the scenario to the list. True Colours, singing a solo, xPatchworkMindx, auditioning in a pantomime, GypsyxSilent, writing a story x3, Kishu Fanatix Girl, having someone read my profile (Dream come true if your not me!!!)

If you too are on the Quest for General Awesomeness, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favourite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Tokyo Mew Mew (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Kishu or Taruto is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you act completely well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Tokyo mew mew and Fanfiction. Crazy is when you go on about your favourite pairings on Fanfiction and no one has any idea what you are talking about. crazy is when you shout "YAY" for no apparent reason in the middle of a maths test (soo embarrassing by the way - try to resist) Crazy is when you suggest to the cool girls that they come in to school without makeup. Crazy is what will set the world to rights. Crazy is when you make random noises when someone is saying someone else is crazier than you are. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you live in your own little world, copy and paste.

If it doesn't matter that you live in your own little world because they know you there, copy and paste.

Ninety-five per-cent of children are concerned with being popular and fitting in. if you are part of the five per-cent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, mysterys, Adderstar, Glissoning Raven, Aleksandrya Gregonovitch, freakily obsessed Yassen fan, True Colours, Kishu Fanatix Girl

Copy and pastes courtesy of Freakily Obsessed Yassen Fan

I am the girl ... that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, MadCatta, True Colours, Kishu Fanatix Girl

Courtesy of Madcatta

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obssessed with Fire, copy and paste this to your profile and sign your name so that we know that we're not the only pyromaniacs here.: RulerofFire, Adderstar of ValorClan, alansquill, True Colours, Kishu Fanatix Girl

If you love gazing out at the stars and the moon, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think up stories faster than you can write them and are too lazy to do that for most of them anyway, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list so I know I'm not the only one: alansquill, True Colours, Kishu Fanatix Girl

Courtesy of Alansquil

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, scarilyobsessed, teeny-weeny-munchkin, True Colours,

Actually, wait...I can't be in the 7 percent of American teens who would ask: 'What was your first clue?' because I'm not American! CHIZ!

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.

Courtesy of darkmoon999

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, (actually I have) Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki (I do all the time!), WeaselChick, Celyna ( i fall up the steps to school every time i go up them... sadly...), SSAHC, Sanoon, Phantom-Flames, Leopardheart (just once, but still...), Littlwhisker (I do it all the time so get over it) Sakeraa (I blame it on my new sandals), Katklaws (multiple times, actually)Rainstorm007 (It’s just a tiny, little, big problem, gosh!) mysterys (sadly, mysterys is guilty), Adderstar(actually it was a half a flight of stairs, but it was humiliating enough. And painful...), alansquill (guilty as charged... how I do it, I have no idea) True Colours (I blame it on the floor-length brown skirts we wear to school) Kishu Fanatix Girl, (Does crawling up them count? Because I do it all the time :D)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile

WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile. Do your part to end homophobia!

If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews, add this to your profile

(Originator lost in the mists of time - it wasn't me. Consider these pastes disclaimed.)

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you think the world should have no violence, but probably will always have it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile.

(Courtesy of XenaGrl321)

Here is a questionaire you can do by listing twelve characters and then answering the questions. Do it. Do it NOW!!!

1. John

2. Rose

3. Dave

4. Jade

5. Jane

6. Roxy

7. Dirk

8. Jake

9. Karkat

10. Kanaya

11. Terezi

12. Vriska

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Dirkrezi? Haven't read one, but it could be an interesting ship!

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

I dunno. Ask Davesprite

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

I don't think that's how it works?

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

So. Many. Fanfictions

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Mumcest!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Jane and Karkat or Jane and Kanaya...I have no idea.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Probably leave

8. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Friendshipping?

9. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Nah

10. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Probably

11. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

Together?

12. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Gentleman

13. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Vriska is a dick and jumps in on John/Roxy?

14. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Not too long ago

15. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

John and Dirk are in a happy relationship until Karkat runs off with Dirk. John, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Terezi and a brief unhappy affair with Vriska, then follows the wise advise of Jane and finds true love with Dave. ... Some of these I ship...Some of these I laughed at... :)

Confidence is the feeling you get before you understand the situation properly.

I find "good morning" a contradictory sentence.

Newscasters are the people who tell you "Good evening" and then proceed to tell you why it's not.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

If you never succeed on the first try, never go skydiving.

A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Most people I know are alive because it's illegal to shoot them. And vice versa.

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Earth first. We'll screw up other planets later.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

When in doubt, make up words!

Boys are like trees: they take fifty years to grow up

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch, but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkies. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

I will kill you in your sleep. . . . You laugh like I'm kidding.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

There's this thing called life, and I'm addicted to it. Sorry, but I'm not taking a bullet for you kids.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

I don't need your attitude, idiot. The voices in my head are enough.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Don't you dare tell me that the sky is the limit while there are footsteps on the moon!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Normal people worry me.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person two feet away from me.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

I didn't fail 10,000 times; I just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

You talk to me like I care what you're saying.

When the world says 'give up', it means you should have given up an hour ago.

Never go to bed early. Stay up and plot revenge.

Reality is for those who lack imagination.

There is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird cult.

They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles.

Last night I was laying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought... WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?

You cry, I cry; you laugh, I laugh; you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then, it hits me.

I dream of a better tomorrow - where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, go to Narnia, be claimed by a Greek god, obtain a sycophant, be chosen by a dragon, learn how to read characters in and out of books, and become an author. That last one might be impossible.

You're a good friend, but if zombies chase us... I'm tripping you.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. DO IT. I SAID DO IT! (Unless the nearest person is me!)

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
#2 When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
#3 When she says it's over, she still wants you to be hers.
#4 When she walks away from you angrily, follow her.
#5 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight and don't let her go.
#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.
#9 When she pulls away, pull her back.
#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful. When she says she’s ugly, then she wants you to tell her, "You’re beautiful."
#11 When you see her crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
#13 When she's scared, protect her.
#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
#15 When she steals your favourite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
#16 When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
#17 When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.
#19 When she says that she likes you, she really does, more than you could understand.
#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her and make her laugh.
#22 When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
#23 When she looks at you in the eyes, don’t look away until she does.
#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.
#25 Don't let her have the last word.
#26 Don't call her hot; beautiful is so much better.
#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.
#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.
#29 When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go.
#30 When she says she's okay, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 years later she'll still remember it.
#31 Call her at 12:00 a.m. on special occasions to tell her you love her.
#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.
#33 Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
#34 Don't ignore her when she's out with you and your friends.
#35 Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
#36 Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think it’s stupid.
#37 Let her into your world.
#38 Let her wear your clothes.
#39 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
#40 Let her know she's important.
#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain.
#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is: "Whose ass am I kicking today, baby?"
#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you'll read it too.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

60 or so Awesome Ways to Make your Teacher Wanna Backhand You!

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (Keep your back against the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask, "Does somebody need a hug?" very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, "Wow, I can tell you’re a blast at parties."

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream "The light! Make it stop! Argh, it burns!!"

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, "You're racist against paper, aren't you?"

8. Don’t do your homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework, say, "I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever." Then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say, "Hello, my name is Mr/Mrs [insert name here]", you stand up and say "Prove it!"

11. When your teacher asks why you were late, say, "My goldfish died." Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds" at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class, bow and say, "May the force be with you, young one."

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream, "OMG! Get away! Rape! Rape! Rape!!"

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena.

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room.

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says.

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow.

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance".

22. When they tell someone to turn around, have everyone in class do it as well.

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelled.

25. Run in the room screaming, “The world is going to end!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, "The queen/king is never late; everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, "I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected; please leave me alone or try again later, thank you."

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream, "Aah, my eyes!!"

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell, "The sky is falling!"

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout, "Oh no, they’re coming for me!"

32. Bring in a 7th grader and say he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewellery, i.e. necklaces, earrings, etc.

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell, "DNA!"

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says "I am retarded".

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper, "What’s wrong?" yell, "No, I won’t make out with you after class!”

44. Yell "Liar!" to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, it’s spreading!”

47. When a substitute teacher is taking roll, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say, "Your worst nightmare".

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go, "Ooohh, I know this!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot" to every question s/he asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favourite song.

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught.

53. When a teacher asks you a question, reply, "Um, computer says nooo!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout, "I object!!"

55. Repeat the last word the teacher says but say it much louder.

56. While the teacher's back is turned, everyone swaps seats.

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart.

58. When you hear a police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom, shouting, "Oh no, they're here! Oh my god! Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do? Sir/miss, you have to help me! Oh god. They must have found the body! Help!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question, shout, "Next!"

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "Amen!"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Sing the never ending song on a long car ride. "There is a song that never ends, never ends, never ends; there is a song that never ends and this is how it goes..."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

9. Skip down the hall rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20 and the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: Copy and paste this to make people who read bios smile!

The 27 Commandments of Fanfiction (Please spread this around; it would save everyone's eyes and hearts! -SV13)

1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The Fanfiction gods hath given you a spellchecker on the computer for good reason. Use it.

2. Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words, unless it is a drabble. This displeases the masses.

3. Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.

4. Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.

5. Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.

6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.

7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your Fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.

8. Thou shalt not use , ;, or :( in a Fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.

9. Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!

10. Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.

11. The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.

12. Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.

13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.

14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character.

15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line, point it out in the beginning.

16. Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a legitimate reason for the change.

17. Thou shalt show and not tell.

18. Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.

19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est- writing is an art. (I disagree, just for the record. But I do agree that there should be some differentiation between normal speech and writing. -SV13)

20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly and in full. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.

21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.

22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers into two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confused.

23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.

24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision.

25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.

26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside"; this shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.

27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever wished you could talk to animals, paste this into your profile.

I love these quotes:

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.

You say 'crazy' like it's a bad thing.

Join the dark side. We have cookies!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!

(\_/) (='.'=) This is Bunny. Put him on your (")_(") profile and help him on his way to world domination.

Dis bunny's gonna rule da world!!! Made By shippofan2k

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely side-tracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five per cent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five per cent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.

AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, ZeratheNightDancer, Acegik13, Ryuu-Chiyo, Akemi-Chiyo, Archangel's Requiem, DarkHikariDevil, SharinganAngel, Angel of Sincerity, oakysan0108, Strawberry chizoey, Charliescookiess, dutch stories, Livvykitty, Kisshu is cool, Mew Kisu, Kishu Fanatix Girl.

FUN THINGS TO DO IN A ELEVATOR

1.When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2.Say "Ding" on every floor.

3.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

4.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

6.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

7.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

8.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

9.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

10.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

11.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

12.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

13.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

14.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

15.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

16.Swat at flies that don't exist.

17.Tell people that you can see their aura.

out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.

19.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

20.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

21.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

22.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

23.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

24.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

25.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

26.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

27.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

30. Throw a rave.

31. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the elevator. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not feng shui."

32. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

33. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

34. Lean over to another rider and whisper, "Noogie patrol coming!"

35. Have a heated debate with yourself.

36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

37. Drum on every available surface.

38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

42. Propose to the other passengers.

43. Challenge people to duels.

44. Sell girl scout cookies.

45. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger, "I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

46. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

47. Shout "Food fight!"

48. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout, "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

49. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

50. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

51. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!

52. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

53. Shave.

54. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

55. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

56. Practice your kung fu.

57. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

58. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

59. Fly a model airplane.

60. Do yoga.

61. Play the accordion.

62. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Ask each person individually if they like your hat.

63. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

64. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

65. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

66. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

If you think TV actually makes you smarter, copy and paste this into your profile.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D

PLEASE READ.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favourite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in God's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this!

If you can read/speak more than one language (not necessarily fluently), copy this into your profile. (emphasis on not fluently)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love your dad, post this on your profile

If you love your mom, copy and paste on your profile

If you love random things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are reading this, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can not imagine what you did before you knew about Fanfiction even if it was less than 3 months ago, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. If weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
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... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
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What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad Follow her

When she stares at your mouth Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cussing at you Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet Ask her what's wrong

When she ignores you Give her your attention

When she pulls away Pull her back

When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favourite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does

When she misses you she's hurting inside

When you break her heart the pain never really goes away

When she says its over she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.-

When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 years later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's butt am I kicking?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you.

And if you wish that someday you will find the one who treats you like this repost...

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. SCREW COOKIES, WE GOT YAOI!

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