Here's a long list of quotes for you. I hope you find them funny and insightful, because I can't put any other [expletive deleted due to 's censorship] up here without baffling you incredibly.
"I know a lot of people who can't drive." - Dad
"Teenagers?" - Me
"No." - Dad
"Old people?" - Me
"No." - Dad
"People from Texas?" - Me
"That speaks for itself, doesn't it?" - Dad
"I'm getting some bad, bad images of Mason... But when I say 'bad', I mean it in a good way." - Me
"Oh, but of course." - My online friend Alexa
"Mr. Brodie is the Warlord of Stupidity." - Me about my computer lab teacher
"How are they supposed to survive the Apocalypse?" - Me to Scott (my boyfriend) while watching Dogma
"Bomb shelters." - Scott
"When I say 'screw you', I really mean 'I love you'." - My friend, Chris
"Screw you, too." - Me
"Be vengeful. Have fun. Kick ass." - My own personal motto.
"Your name is Candy, right?" - Me
"Yeah. C-A-N-D-Y, like the candy you eat." - Candy
(Tina and I start laughing at this.)
"What?" - Candy
"Rule #1: If it doesn't fit, get a bigger hammer." - Dad. He was fixing the zipper on my jacket for me. I'm just glad he didn't say it around the kids in my school.
"I have the insane urge to run through the halls of our high school, singing 'Yellow Submarine' at the top of my lungs." - Me
"It's not as bad as the theater playing it in the bathrooms." - Scott
"Yes, I'm a racist." - My English teacher
"Whatever happened to equal oppurtunity?" - Me
"Oh, there's an equal oppurtunity -- an equal oppurtunity to screw up and fail." - My English teacher
"Kiss the cook, but don't grab the ass." - I can't remember where I read this
"I'm not trying to kill you on purpose. I'm trying to kill you by accident."
"I don't want to get put in jail."
"Ah." - Conversation between myself and someone else. I can't remember what the hell we were talking about, though.