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I Am Legend Not Myth PM
Biography
Joined May '14

I do not wight slash.(Sorry for all the people who love it.)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb war with yourself (I find that I am a very easy opponent, I should practice more). Crazy is when you practice thumb wars. So if you're crazy, copy/paste this into your profile.yeah...that it tootly me ;D.I belive in t he one true god.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (...I thought you used a spoon...)

On If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read thisa can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (I thought I was harmful to ants)

On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company)

On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...)

A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects, duh!)

A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (People really get payed for writing this??)

A VCR box says "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How can you watch it????!!!!!)

A can of self-defense pepper spray "May irritate eyes." (Really???)

A can of windscreen de-icing spray "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (That helps a lot)

A cardboard sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (Well, that explains a lot.)

A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good)

A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Where did they get that idea...)

A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh...Srry kids can't play in there anymore...)

A popular manufactured fireplace log "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do...play music?)

A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?)

A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!)

A snowblower warns "Do not use snowthrower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowthrower on the roof?)

A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Oh. Better go get little Bobby out...)

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (Aww, man.)

An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.)

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then how am I suppose to use it?)

A rock garden "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah.)

A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (That's why it doesn't taste good...)

On a bag of Marshmellows: "Flammable" (Really? I thought they were fire resistant...oops...)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER FOR HOURS ON END, READING NUMEROUS FANFICTIONS, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE.

90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a six story building. Copy this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent yelling JUMP!! and eating popcorn with fireworks ready :)

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy/paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

if you have ever yelled something random in a large crowd of people, copy this onto your profile "I got a jar of dirt, I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it?" Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from them and you'll have their shoes.

Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

A tree only hits an automobile in self-defense.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

When your life shatters into a million pieces, pick up the pieces, grab some glue, and make a new one.

As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman.”

A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them.

When life gives you lemons make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how the heck you did it.

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Help I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet

Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow, bitch!"

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challenging people to a Jedi match.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumbo?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will hide in your suitcase.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dig an escape tunnel with your plastic spork after theirs breaks.

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds but that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOOOME!"

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this stuff!

Let's just get ONE thing straight. If you tickle me, I am not responsible for your injuries

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE
1. We have cookies! (Yumm!)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body! (That's always fun! WOOSH!)

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MUAHAHAHA cough cough! MUAHAHAHA!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys! (Now that's always fun!)

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life! (*Evil smirk*)

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! And the dark side is sooo much better than the good side! (You don't want me in charge of the world... But.. I'll still rule you even though that's a terrible idea.)

get to wear a white lab coat (I thought bad guys wore black?)

can access our stock of cool evil gadgets (Ekat gadgets!)

get to wear tall black shiny boots and a black shiny belt!

get to wear creepy masks (Hehe!)

13. Key word: POWER you get lots of it (see 8)

14.All of the black capes have cool inside pockets to hold stuff... like food...

15.We get a vacation unlike the Jedi's (I thought "evil never takes a vacation"?)

16.We can do dangerous things like sky diving or eating chili or sunbathing (Sky diving! I'm in! Just make sure Zeus is happy)

17.We get to order our minions around (=) I get to tell someone what to do and they have to listen to me!)

18.When no one is looking, we have funny faces contests

19.We love to mix stuff in the blenders and dare each other to drink it

20.Sometimes, we hijack the TV studios and make our own commercials (Cause everyone loves commercials!)

And other reasons! Find out more when you join us!

JOIN THE DARK SIDE WITH ME AND PhoenixDemon58!and

theminierussianspyIAmLegend IT'S AMAZING!

BE A MINION TODAY!

I will also say that I can be very random and creepy. Just ask . The TimeyWimeyGirl4 same can be said in kind about her, and I will respond the same way. Just forewarning you for the very near future.

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