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100 Rules of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and naturalphenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The originalintent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" thatexplained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hopethat you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a goodchuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, isthrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hitthe ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loudsounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrustequals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger amechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objectsknown to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the herowhenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends andlovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one oftwo ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn outaffair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, humanexistence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Animeheroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborgand the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly theydon’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This isattributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action aredepicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color(usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a"Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first.Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known tohuman science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities,sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonlyreferred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Becauseof the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to theLaw of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of anyobject/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Alsoknown as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is ofcourse unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any formof firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the"Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shotdecreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in adrunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, andseveral battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middleof an open field will always miss.First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they willhit anyone or do any real damage.Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds,the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with asingle burst of automatic fire and then escape.Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it isin a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm,which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving,firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complexmartial arts maneuvers.Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times hewill hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: TheMinority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needsto get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have atleast three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is notunknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to workjust as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, andlarge war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stoppedand defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or asong.First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goesup against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the littlethings... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almosttwice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy".First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumbAmericans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green LineEffect)Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the Americantranslators are the American editors and censors.Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome"Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directlyproportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:1) be female.2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation.3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable ofdestroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved andused as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operatea spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels ofmartial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowingaura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This isattributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races arehostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum isconsidered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning orexplanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, andcan resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physicalabuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’shair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictableguidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless ofwhether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessiveamount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn offsomehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes,then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as theGratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariablywear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant toextremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearerinvulnerable to any form of damage.Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero isindestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows,or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or iceattack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out ofAnime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple"things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and soon... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "GoodGuys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basicpositions, which are:1) The Hero/Leader2) His Girlfriend3) His Best Friend/Rival4) A Hulking Brute5) A Dwarf/KidBetween these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:1) Extreme Coolness2) Amazing Intelligence3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have anextrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person fromwhich they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysteriousdimension is commonly called "Malletspace".First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is aheavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This isbecause they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously releasedat high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained inthe eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs areactually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes isbecause Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at theback of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweatgland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inverselyproportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, theless you get and vice-versa.First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the realworld...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t geterections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the currenttheory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (seeLaw #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blushalong the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metalswords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get itdone in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by amartial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name ofthe attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved thetransformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything tointerrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensymask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have someunknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot orspicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behindthe eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted orburned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later,your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s)to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut andletting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be inpart to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he willget a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can performmagical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known asthe "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and willhelp him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and areunder the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERYsmall, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, andthe likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name ofthe attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attackare too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon SlavePhenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters(usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), orperverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasonsfor this are:1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.2) They just don’t give a damn.The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a fryingpan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends andwithhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special powerweapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weaponswill never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndromewhich require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not useit against the "Good Guy".Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior militarydevice without one of the following events occurring:a) The control device being broken.The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just"fooled" by the "Good Guy".d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth ofthe face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,resulting in two outcomes:a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-melook.A negative charge will result in thehair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunitionavailable (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accuratewhen compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’sattractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them.(Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willinggirlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrotcouldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in anawkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract,except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a singledrop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 yearsis never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of thefew... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to befunny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fallto the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing themale character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usuallyhelpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She cansometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching theguy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greaterthan two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inversecoefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance tonormal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is alsoinversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In allactuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lotfrom space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb.of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits amysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasingthis variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where theAmbient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must beincreased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this doesnot happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leadsto a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset byan exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined thecontrol system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so throughmeans of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles whichclearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and ConstantThrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted atwill, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity andlethality of the maneuver.Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from ordisrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does notalways apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations wherethe Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law ofConservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In anysituation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a correspondingincrease in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usuallycome out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise inAmbient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, asurvival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directlyand immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is oftenreferred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brainactivity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out inslow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a malecharacter of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking atanother girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into aninterdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet ofDoom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a headshot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on thewounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandageswill then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic toa hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-lookingsword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that theedge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlesslypast the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. Whenfaced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, animecharacters will either:a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown andexposition),Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in aposition to ravish beautiful girls, orc) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero cansummon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain asecret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone aroundhim/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thickstrands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, theelements, etc. (see Laws 32 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEASTcapable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martialarts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead withyour bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it justdoesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship ismale, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have ashaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captainis female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole(horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even ifyou’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of aHentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will becomepossible.First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever thehero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that heis wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassedby the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he couldaccomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in direstraits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (seeLaws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds inbeating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never wonagainst the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, theytie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack.Usually this results in:a) The hero escaping.Clean-up for the underlings.c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes havethe magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water,rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character towelingthemselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously largepenis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones thesize of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the followingcharacteristics:1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" andup... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitivevagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearancewhile someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of themintroducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have atleast one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by aDog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of themale persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is followinghim around is there because:1) It’s his girlfriend’s.2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.3) Chicks will dig him more.Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied bya cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal,real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animalthat would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:1) It’s her boyfriend’s.2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of abilitythat enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things likebullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even thoughthey are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash theStampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape anyhuman female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Animegirls eventually get into it begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is,but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through theskin of the tentacle...Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature neverexperience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Alsoknown as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect).Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/humanrelations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damagebegins to occur.First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow itfrom a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-koThing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor thatenables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Beingimmortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne orspaceborne, have the following crew members:1) The captain2) His Lieutenant3) Various female technical staff4) A hotshot pilot5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)6) The Doctor7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:1) Extreme coolness/luck2) Amazing Intelligence3) Incredible irritation4) Extreme cuteness5) Irresponsible drunkenness6) Homophobicness7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interestappears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around saidcharacter, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! Atleast, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

The previous was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends. Aswell as various internet sources inorder to help others understand the things that happen in anime. So to help others understand anime affter you have read this please copy and paste this to your profile thank-you.

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