92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing their ass off.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92% of teenagers have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8% that have still stayed loyal to rock or heavy metal, please copy and paste this to your profile.
If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile.
If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you think that writing fanfics is fun, put this in your profile!
If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously (also something I found on somebody's profile xD )
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ' What the hell happened?'
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your * tomorrow.
Quotes
If life gives you lemons, Take 'em, freeze 'em, throw 'em at life, then tell him to screw off.
When ya life is in its darkest hour, grab a lighter and burn your life, that'll make some noise, AND light!
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If that don't work, become an FBI agent, track life down, and cuss him out, then tase him.
Can't beat 'em, join 'em, can't join 'em, bribe 'em, can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em, can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em, can't kill 'em, your dead
I hear voices...And they don't like you so much...Are you carrying a wooden stake with you by any chance..?
99% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber above the skyscraper about to jump; copy and paste this to your profile if you're the 1% who would stand there with popcorn yelling, "Do a backflip!" Whoo hooo!!
Here's a petition against racism; join me in the cause for equality!
An African-American man walked into a restaurant, whereupon the person at the register pointed to a sign and said
"Excuse me, sir, we don't allow colored people here."
The African-American man turns to him and replies
"Excuse me, sir, but when I am born, I am black. While I grow, I remain black. When I'm cold, I'm black; when I'm hot, I'm black; when I'm sick, I'm black. And when I die, I will still be black. When you're born, you're pink; while you grow, you turn white; when you're cold, you're blue; when you're hot, you're red; when you're sick, you're green. And when you die, you will turn purple."
The African-American paused for a second to let that sink in. He turned to leave, but before he walked out the door, he turned back to the clerk and told him
"Think about what I just told you, and ask yourself this; which one of us is really colored?"
If you hate racism as much as I do, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name; EmeraldDragon1, Jolteonoflight
These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (You can't tell me what to do!)
On a bag of chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (Oh, crap...)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Frozen food for thought)
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (NOW you tell me!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (You don't say?!)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (I have a schedule to keep, you know)
On Boots Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Didn't we outlaw child labor?)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (NO... WAY!)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children. (Que?!)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other uses." (Which would be...?)
On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Shit just got real!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (I blame the parents for this one)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Why do we have to address this directly?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat it?!)
On Bath Salts Directions: Put in water. (Fffffuuuuuu...!)
On Brownie Mix Directions: Preheat oven, mix brownie mix eggs, water and oil, bake, eat. (What if I don't trust my own cooking?)
Mattress: Do not attempt to swallow. (I don't even know how this is possible)
Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (Sentence; the electrical chair)
A sign on a Telephone pole: Do not post signs. (I hate hypocrites)
Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required. (Some assembly required? What, does it need batteries, too?)
On earplugs: These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe. (Oh good, I thought it was just going to be another warning about cancer!)
On Nabisco Easy Cheese: For best results, remove cap. (Nah, I'll take my chances)
On a Life Saving Device: This is not a Life-Saving Device. (Irony at its finest)
On a Shark Vacuum Cleaner: 1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids 2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning. (Like that gasoline...?)
Various Computers: Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue. (A hammer might be more effective)
On the Japanese GameCube: Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury. (Well... if you say so...)
On a can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (So... is it the right product??)
On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (I'll take 500 for stupidity...)
A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (Okay, scratch that. I'll take five hundred on dumb people)
A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously... you tested it on insects, duh!)
A cardboard sun-shield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sun-shield in place." (Can you say "oops" before we crash?)
A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (I have a doctor's note...)
A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (So what am I supposed to throw, the monitor?!)
A container of underarm deodorant "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." (A human's ingenuity...)
A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh... Sorry kids, can't play in there anymore...)
A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!)
A snow-blower warns "Do not use snow-blower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snow-blower on the roof?)
A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Don't tell the wife...)
A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (How long did it take for them to figure that out?)
An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Hear that, rednecks?)
A rock garden; "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (I beg to differ)
Wet-Nap: Tear open packet and use. (And then...?)
A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (So many details...)
On a bag of Marshmallows: "Flammable" (What? (Holding out marshmallow over a fire))
Children's Aspirin: Warning: Keep Away From Children. (We need to straighten our priorities out)
Candle: Warning: A burning candle is on fire. (Good to know...)
Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (I'm on a tight schedule!)
McDonald's Coffee: Warning! Drink may be hot! (Oh, really?!)
Arm & Hammer Cat Litter: Safe to use around pets. (OH, REALLY?!?!)
Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado. (... um...)
Matches: WARNING: Contents may catch fire. (They oughta...)
Toilet Plunger: Do not use near power lines. (Um... okay?)
Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts. (Since when?!)
Windex: Do not spray in eyes. (Yeah, that's what bleach is for!)