Favorite Pairings
Jemma Simmons/Leo Fitz (Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D)
Skye/Grant Ward (Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D)
Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak (Arrow)
Roy Harper/Thea Queen (Arrow)
Vincent Keller/Catherine Chandler (Beauty & The Beast)
Adam Ruzek/Kim Burgess (Chicago P.D.)
Erin Lindsay/Jay Halstead (Chicago P.D.)
Adam Noshimuri/Kono Kalakaua (Hawaii Five-0)
Danny Williams/Amber (Hawaii Five-0)
Catherine Rollins/Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-0)
Marty Deeks/Kensi Blye (NCIS: Los Angeles)
Emma Swan/Killian Jones (Once Upon A Time)
Lucas Scott/Peyton Sawyer (One Tree Hill)
Nathan Scott/Haley James Scott (One Tree Hill)
Aria Montgomery/Ezra Fitz (Pretty Little Liars)
Hanna Marin/Caleb Rivers (Pretty Little Liars)
Clark Kent/Lois Lane (Smallville)
Oliver Queen/Chloe Sullivan (Smallville)
Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow (The Flash)
(1) Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod, MP3 Player, etc. on shuffle
(2) For each question, press the next button to get your answer
(3) Put the name of the song down no matter how ridiculous it sounds
Bad Intentions
(1) Someone says "are you okay?" You say:
The Other Side (remix)- Max Schneider and Keke Palmer ft Jason Derulo
(2) How would you describe yourself?
Man Eater- Nelly Furtado
(3) What do you like in a guy/girl?
Roar- Katy Perry
(4) How do you feel today?
Play My Music- Jonas Brothers
(5) What is your life's purpose?
Gotcha- Jessica Mauboy
(6) What's your motto?
New Classic (single)- Drew Seeley ft Selena Gomez
(7) What do your friends think of you?
Eye Of The Tiger- Survivor
(8) What do your parents think of you?
Falling Down- Selena Gomez
(9) What do you think of very often?
Say Something- A Great Big World ft Christina Aguilera
(10) What is 22?
I'm Still Good- Hannah Montana
(11) What do you think about your best friend?
For Your Entertainment- Adam Lambert
(12) What is your life story?
Na Na Na- Big Time Rush
(13) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Year 3000- Jonas Brothers
(14) What do you think when you see the person you like?
I Wish- Cher Lloyd ft T.I
(15) What will you dance to at your wedding?
Who's That Chick- David Guetta ft Rihanna
(16) What will they play at your funeral?
Just A Kiss- Lady Antebellum
(17) What is your hobby/interest?
Satellite- Nickelback
(18) What is your biggest fear?
What We Came Here For- Camp Rock: The Final Jam Cast
(19) What is your biggest secret in life?
Shot In The Dark- Big Time Rush
(20) What do you want right now?
Don't Worry Be Happy- Guy Sebastian
(21) What do you think of your friends?
Until It's Gone- Linkin Park
(22) What is the one thing you regret?
It Gi- Jason Derulo
(23) How will you die?
When We Stand Together- Nickelback
(24) If you could go back and change something, what would it be?
Don't Ever Let It End- Nickelback
(25) What will you post this as?
Bad Intentions- Digital Daggers Lyrics
Funny Quotes And Random Things
Hawaii Five-0
Grace: Thanks for helping me Uncle Steve. Danno says the only thing he hates more than swimming is running.
Steve: Don't worry about Danno, you know it scares me to think what that guy is gonna look like when he is a 50-year-old man.
NCIS: Los Angeles
Hetty: Expense accounts--yours are six months behind. I would have thought that, seeing you had time off for recuperation, you would have caught up on your paperwork
Callen: Please tell me you're kidding me, Hetty.
Hetty: Well, I could, but it would be a lie. No rush! Tomorrow will be fine...
Kensi: I'm the best first-date-girl in town. I mean, I bring my A game: funny, flirty, charismatic, tasteful.
Sam: Like me.
Callen: And the second?
Kensi: The second date: antsy, bored, distant, impatient, irritable.
Sam: Like G.
Sam: I'm definitely getting you a birthday card this year.
Callen: Great. Make sure you put some money in it.
Sam: How 'bout I put some personality in it?
No, I won't go to Hell! It has a restraining order against me.
I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO so i MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so i MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE so i MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs
I'm ATHEIST so i MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY so i MUST not be a virgin
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS so I MUST look for attention
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I like ANIME so I MUST be a geek with no social life
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann -- Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN -- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabteh, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!!
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.
If you believe that Justin Bieber will never be as awesome as the Jonas Brothers, copy and paste this into your profile.
If sarcasm is your first and favorite language, then copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. When you argue with yourself and LOSE is when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you wondered why Malfoy always wears a black suit, although he is pure blood and it would make more sense for him to be wearing robes like his father, copy and paste this on to your profile.
98 percent of all teenage girls would give their souls to Edward Cullen if he was stabbed with a wooden stake. Post this on your profile if you're part of the 2 percent that stabbed him.
Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you'd be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!!
Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
96% of teenage girls obsess over Twilight, put this in your signature if you're one of the 4 who like stories where the vampires are actually portrayed as monsters, and not as pretty people with fangs
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile
If you believe that straight, gay, bi, and lesbian people are all equal and entitled to their beliefs, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If it completely pisses you off when someone says being gay is gross, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy and paste this in to your profile
If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you are in lala land most of the time copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile
If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think the school week is way too long and weekends are way too short, copy this onto your profile.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!
Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
Why when we look in a mirror its consitered looking at ourselves but really were just looking at a piece of glass?
How to store your baby walker: Step 1, Remove baby."
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."
Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, monkyluvr, Darth KenObi-Wan, JediWolfMaster,EwanLuvr4Ever, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, JaneVolturi, LOSTSOULOFTHEUNDERWORLD, DarkAngel620, Dithinus, Science-Fantasy93, Nadine96
(.• (.•pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.
If you're IN LOVE with Big Time Rush, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have NO problem with homosexuality, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think all those uptight overly-religeous weirdos should just sit down, shut up, and leave Halloween on Sunday ALONE, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you love puppies, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think pandas are adorable, copy and paste this to your profile.
98% of girls would follow Robert Pattensen if he jumped off a building. If you're part of the two perecent who would grab some popcorn and fight over front-row seats to watch, copy and paste this to your profile. LOL! XD
If you want to join the fight to END animal cruelty, copy and paste this to your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good because unique is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you approve of gay-marriages put this on your profile and add your name to the list: Gaara's-pandachan101, 678yui-julie-and-kiki-kitten, Flying_Shadow666, GregsLabrat, Panda-Boo15, Science-Fantasy93, Nadine96
If you hate homework, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
Dora the exporer is soo an Illegal Immigrant...
Ok, so here's the deal... If you need the explanations they're
all around you...
1) She speaks spanish... she speaks spanish perfectly... what
is she like...5? Her backpack even speaks spanish perfectly!
2) That backpack
of hers has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support,
water/food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes... i mean
c'mon!
3) She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, an
band of insects, a bajillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal
immigrant has that many pets!?
4) She's always on an "adventure" to
transport a "package" to some destination and is always being
stalked by a person trying to take that package... i mean... really, Swiper is
so obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of
Dora's entire narcotics trafficing buisness
5)The evidence is so obvious and
around you guys! And they're even poisoning our little children with them...
Who wants our toddlers to grow up knowing spanish before english?!
Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart
When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART (Australia doesn't have Wal-Mart but I laughed)
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
2. Run through the isles shouting; "ITS GONNA BLOW! EVERYBODY GET OUT"
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
whisper, "Pick me! Pick me!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream:
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose YOU!"
Repost this if you laughed, or if you plan on doing any of those things!!
Female comebacks
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: I bet your face has turned a few heads.
Woman: I bet yours has turned a few stomachs
Man: I'm a modeling agent, I've been looking for a face like yours.
Woman: I'm a plastic surgeon, I've been looking for a face like yours.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: Not until I met you
Man: Haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Woman: It's in the phone book.
Man: But I don't know your name.
Woman: That's in the phone book too.
Man: What sign were you born under?
Woman: No parking.
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
Man: Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hit the hot spots?
Woman: Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.
If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth. (Usually when I'm breaking into a conversation...)
Sleep with your socks on at night. (Sometimes but the usually fall off)
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts.
Cats are better than dogs.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors.
You hate wearing the colour black.
You like hanging out at the shopping center.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry. (Depends)
Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like being the star of everything.
PREP
You own a cell phone.
You own something from Abercrombie.
You own something from Pac sun.
You own something from Hollister.
You own something from American eagle.
You love/like going to the mall.
You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale.
You have more than one house.
GOTH
Black is one of your favourite colors.
You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You’ve shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
Your hair was/is dark. (Don't know how much it counts-it's naturally dark.)
You dislike preps.
You’re an atheist/ Satanist/agnostic.
PUNK
You can skateboard
You’ve worn plaid.
You like Converse.
You hate MTV.
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streaks count)
You dislike pink.
You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.
GEEK
You love the computer.
You like Harry Potter.
You are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's.
You love/like reading.
You were/are in band.
You don't care what you look like.
You have a curfew.
You always do your homework.
You never miss school unless you're sick.
ATHLETIC
You watch/watched the Super bowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
You have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards.
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
Your garage consists of sports equipment.
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
You have a specific number.
HARDCORE//SCENE
You like loud music.
You love/loved the Ninja Turtles.
You never walk anywhere.
You wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band Panic! At the disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
People have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance.
Hair has been died more than 1 color
37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
"A true boyfriend"
When she walks away from you mad
Follow her
When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong
When she ignore's you
Give her your attention
When she pull's away
Pull her back
When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared
Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does
When she misses you
she's hurting inside
When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away
When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her-
because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-
Tease her and let her tease you back.-
Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-
Give her the world.-
Let her wear your clothes.-
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-
Let her know she's important.-
Kiss her in the pouring rain.-
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's butt am I kicking, Sweetie?"
If you post this in the next five minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.
Guys post as: "i'd be this boyfriend."
Girls post as: "A true boyfriend " or " what a boyfriend should do
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"
--Advice--
Dont ask for a kiss, take one
If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.
DID YOU KNOW:
-Kissing is healthy. -
-Bananas are good for cramps.
-Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
-Its true. Guys DO insult you if they like you.
-Having someone rub your tummy when it hurts actually helps it.
-89% of guys woul...d want girls to make the first move.
-Girls love it when Guys hug them from behind the waist...
-Chocolate makes you feel better.
-Girls love it when guys let them wear their hoodie or jacket.
-Guys think its cute when you mess up.
-A true friend will NEVER judge you.
-There is only one guy who is worth your tears.
-If you have a dream about someone, then that person went to sleep thinking about you.
-More guys than girls will read this.
- Everyone likes surprises.
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (so we have children's aspirin...that children can't get to)
2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts (Really? Now that's shocking...Seriously, I think that was life changing)
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (Dang. I've become addicted to sleep-hair-curling. This will never work!)
4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire (And here I thought it was ice. Face-palm!)
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (You mean we can't chew through all that frozen goodness?)
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (Does this mean people can use it to protect themselves from hurricanes?)
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Uhhh...I kinda thought frisbees were all one piece...Do they come with batteries now or something?)
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (So now sticking them in kids' stomachs when they don't behave is out of the question. That's not abusive or dangerous, now is it?)
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (So there's going to be a trial during that person's funeral. Sounds like fun!)
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (You mean it's not a substitute for whipped cream? NO WAY!)
11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (As opposed to non-regular soap?)
12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness (So that's why we take them! I thought they were a replacement for coffee)
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (You mean puzzles don't come all put together in one box?)
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use (Uhhh...I don't think I even want to know)
Man 1: I think I'm the fastest man alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) I am the fastest man alive!
Man 2: I think I'm the strongest man alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) I am the strongest man alive!
Man 3: I think I'm the hottest guy alive! (goes to GWR headquarters) WHO THE HELL IS JAMES MASLOW!
Courtroom Quotations: Actual quotations from courtroom transcripts
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know.
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?"
Witness: "There was a rifle that belonged to my father that was stolen from the hall closet."
Lawyer: "Can you identify the rifle?"
Witness: "Yes. There was something written on the side of it."
Lawyer: "And what did the writing say?"
Witness: "'Winchester'!"
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
Lawyer: "Did you blow your horn or anything?"
Witness: "After the accident?"
Lawyer: "Before the accident."
Witness: "Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it."
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
Lawyer: "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
Witness: "...He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
Witness: "Guess."
Lawyer: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?"
Witness: "I went to Europe, sir."
Lawyer: "And you took your new wife?"
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
WITNESS: Are you s*tting me?
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
Witness: Uh... I was getting laid!
Lawyer: "How many times have you committed suicide?"
Witness: "Four times."
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
Lawyer: "You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?"
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question."
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question."
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?"
Witness: "Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney and said he was really good."
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
Lawyer: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?"
Witness: "Picking them up in the air."
Lawyer: "Where was the dog at this time?"
Witness: "Attached to the ears."
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. Ok? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "What is your relationship with the plaintiff?"
Witness: "She is my daughter."
Lawyer: "Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?"
Lawyer: "Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?"
Lawyer: "Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?"
Witness: "Did you actually pass the bar exam?"
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
Lawyer: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?"
Witness: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital."
Lawyer: "It was covered?"
Witness: "Yes, bandaged."
Lawyer: "Then, later on...what did you see?"
Witness: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head."
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
Lawyer: "Do you drink when you're on duty?"
Witness: "I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk."
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
Lawyer: "Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?"
Witness: "Because he was argumentary, and he couldn't pronunciate his words."
Lawyer: "And was he dead when you performed the autopsy?"
Witness: "No, you idiot, he was sitting up on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!"
Lawyer: "What is the meaning of sperm being present?"
Witness: "It indicates intercourse."
Lawyer: "Male sperm?"
Witness: "That is the only kind I know."
Lawyer : "Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?"
Witness: "We both do."
Lawyer: "Voodoo?"
Witness: "We do."
Lawyer: "You do?"
Witness: "Yes, voodoo."
Lawyer: "Are you sexually active?"
Witness: "No, I just lie there."