75 Nebuchadnezzar's Dream » "Your colleagues at the hospital are getting suspicious," Alice told Carlisle a week before the world ended. "You're going to have to do something about that." Rated M for violence.
Twilight, M, English, Drama & Horror, chapters: 14, words: 113k+, favs: 86, follows: 96, updated: 10/24 published: 12/20/2020, [Carlisle, Aro] Jane, Renata
3 For the Love of a Woman » With Bella and Edward's wedding night fast approaching, Edward is growing increasingly worried about the odds of her survival. When Jacob finds out about their plans to consummate the marriage, the two have a man to man talk. Together, they form a plan to save Bella, get laid, and win half the kingdom. Cowritten with The Carnivorous Muffin
Twilight, M, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 12, words: 85k+, favs: 9, follows: 9, updated: 10/16 published: 8/19, [Bella, Edward, Jacob]
To The Undying Lands Heidi desperately tries to make her life interesting, Y/N isn't quite as good at Elvish as she'd hoped she was, and Marcus is depressed. As requested on tumblr.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Tragedy, words: 2k+, favs: 5, follows: 1, 8/4, Heidi
2Bleach on the Brain Renesmee had read about how in the past people had a lot of shame about sex. Certainly you wouldn't be having sex on a daily basis, loud sex at that, loud enough that your hybrid daughter with super-hearing could hear you. Renesmée wished her parents would take note.
Twilight, T, English, Family, words: 5k+, favs: 7, follows: 4, 7/6, Carlisle, Renesmee C./Nessie
2 The Fast and the Oblivious Now that Bella is a vampire there's something the Cullens have to tell her. As requested on tumblr.
Twilight, K, English, Humor & Family, words: 3k+, favs: 12, follows: 5, 6/2, [Bella, Edward] Carlisle
11Carlisle and Bella's Bogus Journey » Unfortunately for Bella, the wolves do not show up in time to save her from Laurent. Fortunately for Bella, it seems like the universe refuses to let her die. She is transported back to an English forest, 1664, and a suicidal newborn Carlisle is talking Shakespearean gibberish while trying desperately not to eat her. Cowritten by Vinelle and The Carnivorous Muffin.
Twilight, T, English, Humor & Friendship, chapters: 2, words: 7k+, favs: 33, follows: 45, updated: 1/19 published: 1/18, Bella, Carlisle
29The Kingdom of Heaven » In one world, after Carlisle Cullen was turned into a vampire he became a doctor and a pacifist unlike anything the vampire world had seen before. In another, Carine Cullen makes her father a promise, and it's a promise she'll do anything to keep.
Twilight, T, English, Friendship & Angst, chapters: 3, words: 17k+, favs: 109, follows: 143, updated: 11/13/2020 published: 7/31/2020, [Carine C., Jasper] Aro
55Cat Among the Pigeons » There is no crime in the Wizarding World. ALBUS reigns supreme, and with just one spell you can tell who is and isn't a criminal. One Lily Evans wants to find out how this works, and becomes an auror in the hopes of getting a peak behind the curtain. And in the distant horizon, an existential threat to the Wizarding World grows.
Harry Potter, T, English, Friendship & Tragedy, chapters: 11, words: 55k+, favs: 63, follows: 66, updated: 10/26/2020 published: 1/11/2018, [Tom R. Jr., Lily Evans P.] Severus S., Gilderoy L.
15And They Call it Bambi Love » Some people get lucky and find the person they were destined for in their own lifetimes and within their own species, others don't. Bella was about to find out which of the two categories she fell into, and what costs may come along the way. Carlisle/Bella/deer!Edward.
Twilight, T, English, Angst & Romance, chapters: 2, words: 4k+, favs: 23, follows: 41, updated: 7/5/2018 published: 4/15/2018, [Carlisle, Bella, Edward]
4 Veni, Vidi, Dinner Albus Dumbledore would never forgive himself for having let Hairy roam around freely in his office, as well he should not, because the results were disastrous. Meanwhile, Edward experienced magical food delivery. A crossover between Twilight and my fanfiction "A Hairy Business".
Harry Potter & Twilight, K+, English, Tragedy, words: 851, favs: 10, follows: 7, 4/12/2018
4 We Found Love in a Hopeless Place In which Harry, a deer, discusses the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything with Lord Voldemort, a religious fanatic. This fic is a spinoff to "A Cloven Conundrum" and a mistake.
Harry Potter, K, English, Friendship & Spiritual, words: 3k+, favs: 12, follows: 2, 1/21/2018, Harry P., Voldemort
74A Hairy Business » In which the protagonist of the Harry Potter series is put to the cute but disinterested animal test: if your hero can be replaced by a cute but disinterested animal, is he really that proactive?
Harry Potter, T, English, Parody, chapters: 4, words: 19k+, favs: 158, follows: 152, updated: 1/14/2018 published: 1/28/2017, Harry P.