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My Stories 51
146I'm the Bad Guy, Duh » There's a wizarding Russian tradition if you throw a burlap sack over a woman's head and kidnap her, you may keep her as your wife. Hermione thinks this tradition is absolutely bonkers, barbaric and wants no part of it. "I am not going to be your housewife!" Hermione shouted. Dohohov only grinned. "I'm the bad guy, da. What did you expect, a Disney fairytale ending?" Antomione
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 30, words: 39k+, favs: 244, follows: 375, updated: 4/28 published: 2/1/2020, [Hermione G., Antonin D.] Lucius M., Voldemort
53Blue Raincoat » "She said 'please'." "But you should've stayed away." "I couldn't. I couldn't have even planned for this to happen." He saw her in her famous blue raincoat and the shoulder was torn. Bill/Hermione. Affair. Illicit. Angst.
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Angst, chapters: 8, words: 7k+, favs: 73, follows: 151, updated: 4/25 published: 2/18/2017, [Bill W., Hermione G.]
40The Five People Sirius Takes to Hell » In which Sirius makes a deal with the devil and finally gets to enact revenge on his enemies while helping Harry kick Voldemort's arse. Also features a cute Hell owl, demon squad and a Victoria's secret angel, er, God's angel, to whom Sirius takes a liking but don't call her angel, ya misogynist! Dark comedy. Sirius/OC. Dumblebashing. Hermionebashing.
Harry Potter, T, English, Supernatural & Humor, chapters: 13, words: 20k+, favs: 64, follows: 87, updated: 4/25 published: 10/8/2016, Harry P., Hermione G., Sirius B., Albus D.
119Regulus Black and the Magic Mirror » Regulus took the mirror because he wanted to speak to his brother. He didn't take it to meet her. But then dark magic is powerful and can transcend even time and death. Regulus/Hermione. "I dreamt you'd be here." M rated ending if requested.
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Drama, chapters: 8, words: 5k+, favs: 131, follows: 210, updated: 4/24 published: 4/14/2016, [Hermione G., Regulus B.] Sirius B., Kreacher
158Father-in-Law Issues » Hermione is married to Draco. So why is she dreaming of his dad? It's all wrong and morally repugnant except she can't stop her mind, or hands, from wandering to the older wizard. Neither can he. "What shall we say then?" he whispers to her. "Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?" Very Dark Lumione. Note: Chapter 21-22 have been edited so there's more dialogue.
Harry Potter, M, English, Angst & Romance, chapters: 22, words: 52k+, favs: 130, follows: 209, updated: 4/20 published: 7/24/2018, [Hermione G., Lucius M.] Draco M., Narcissa M.
30The Secret to Making Toast » After a bad breakup with Ron, Sirius is left picking up all the pieces when a brokenhearted Hermione moves into Grimmauld Place. But can she get over the redhead in time to see the black-haired, older man standing in front of her? Sirius/Hermione. Postwar.
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 7, words: 13k+, favs: 77, follows: 178, updated: 4/24/2020 published: 4/2/2020, [Hermione G., Sirius B.]
17Playing Doctor » Take trouble and make it double. When Dr. Hermione J. Granger has to give up her healer's practice and go into quarantine after a bad bout of magical dragon flu has gone around...she doesn't go into quarantine alone. Two redhead Weasley twins are eager to help her and also, well, they might've been the ones responsible for giving her the flu in the first place. Please read&review!
Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 6, words: 9k+, favs: 54, follows: 103, updated: 4/10/2020 published: 3/14/2020, Hermione G., George W., Fred W.
45The Blind Date from Hell » Hermione keeps taking Lucius Malfoy to court. The older wizard doesn't seem to mind showing up or staring at her. Though they never do have any evidence against him. So he always walks off a free man. Or is he enslaved by a new obsession? "You're guilty of about 10000 war crimes," Hermione snarled. "How is it you always walk free?" Lucius smirked, "Watch me, Miss Granger."
Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 10, words: 14k+, favs: 51, follows: 99, updated: 4/8/2020 published: 2/19/2020, [Hermione G., Lucius M.] Fleur D.
5Harry Potter and the Order of the Zero Waste » Saving the planet by destroying Voldemort Inc. is the greatest battle the chosen one, Harry Potter, will ever face, but he must do everything possible to reduce, reuse and recycle. The Death Eaters can't stop him if he beats them up and eradicates their 7 evil horcruxes. Harry Potter first takes on the first evil Horcrux hurting the ocean. "This one's for the whale!" Harry yelled.
Harry Potter, T, English, Romance & Parody, chapters: 4, words: 2k+, favs: 4, follows: 3, updated: 4/2/2020 published: 9/3/2019, [Harry P., Luna L.] Hermione G., Lavender B.
48 Well Worth the Trouble » Only Sirius knows how to pull Hermione's buttons and get the better of her. Only this time, she has gotten the better of him and he wants to make sure it stays that way: by marrying her...The proposal and wedding go well enough, but the honeymoon leaves a lot to be desired. Especially if creepy stalker Antonin Dolohov has a say! Sirmione with Antomione hints.
Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 10, words: 19k+, favs: 110, follows: 88, updated: 4/2/2020 published: 2/11/2017, [Hermione G., Sirius B.] Antonin D.
44Pretty Parseltongue Woman » After Voldemort runs off to Cuba and forgets to pack his pet snake with him, Harry Potter is left taking care of one human snake animagus. But Nagini is nothing like he expected. And she has a lot to learn about the world because after living with Voldemort, she doesn't really understand anything about acting normal or not killing muggles. Written before Fantastic Beasts! 27k views
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 15, words: 23k+, favs: 102, follows: 119, updated: 3/24/2020 published: 2/18/2017, [Harry P., Nagini] Hermione G., Voldemort
15Tom Riddle's Diary: Genie in a Bottle » The early years of being a bored Dark Lord who likes to kill and torture people...except you're stuck in a diary. Until finally somebody bothers to get to know you, but who will that be? "Help! Somebody help me! I'm a teenage dark lord stuck in a diary! Help let me out! I'm just like a genie in a bottle!" Hermione/Tom Riddle. Draco/Voldemort. Catfights over the DarkLord!
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 5, words: 4k+, favs: 25, follows: 45, updated: 3/14/2020 published: 11/22/2016, [Hermione G., Tom R. Jr.] [Draco M., Voldemort]
10 Rain Down Under » Water is wet. Hermione can't stop staring at Neville, or noticing how he's changed. Neville can't stop staring at the pretty brunette either. It's been years since they left Hogwarts and they only reunite to help as volunteers for the Australian wildfires. But can either work up the courage to be more than friends, or will hope be lost in the fires as well? Nevmione. Complete!
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 5, words: 9k+, favs: 61, follows: 37, updated: 3/8/2020 published: 2/4/2020, [Hermione G., Neville L.]
22Everchanging » Remus/Tonks/Sirius. She was always changing. She could never make up her mind or heart. Tonks is a mess and so is Sirius. Like Black siblings; orphaned; lost; they took shelter in each other's arms; in this giant house...Things have always been topsy turvy in Grimmauld Place. But can they heal each other or will these two Black family members destroy Remus in the process?
Harry Potter, M, English, Tragedy & Romance, chapters: 6, words: 8k+, favs: 16, follows: 25, updated: 2/22/2020 published: 8/22/2015, Sirius B., Remus L., Bellatrix L., N. Tonks
37Of Pumpkin Lattes and Things Long Past » Theodore Nott doesn't want things, he gets them. So when he is confronted with his reflection in the Mirror of Erised, he is suitably conflicted: for beside him stands, not a pureblood, but a mudblood. A very famous one. With bushy, brown hair and wide brown eyes. She'd never think of him as anything more than the Death Eater from the war, why couldn't he forget her too? THEOMIONE
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Drama, chapters: 3, words: 4k+, favs: 51, follows: 106, updated: 11/20/2019 published: 9/2/2016, [Hermione G., Theodore N.]
9 Reversing Time, Recapturing You What a stupid conversation for them to be having on their first meeting as two adults. Somehow she imagined their first meeting being more mature, or at least romantic. Not making jokes about groping or him mentioning the blood on her clothes or him seeming scared she wanted to kill him. "Should I call you babe then?" Sirius asked. Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Absolutely not." R&R!
Harry Potter, M, English, Drama & Romance, words: 3k+, favs: 61, follows: 57, 11/15/2019, [Hermione G., Sirius B.]
61 The Remembrall » His Remembrall glowed red for two weeks until he finally realized what he should've done all along. When Hermione and Neville work together in herbology labs, suddenly their feelings change or is it just the pollen making them lust over each other? Neville/Hermione. Nevmione marriage. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Drama, chapters: 8, words: 13k+, favs: 141, follows: 130, updated: 8/27/2019 published: 5/20/2016, [Hermione G., Neville L.] Seamus F., P. Sprout
54 Burning Down Privet Drive » For his 21st birthday, Luna has a surprise gift. And it's nothing Harry could have ever expected or predicted. Then again, nothing about living with beautiful weirdo Luna Lovegood is ever predictable, is it? Post-war Harry. "Be a freak like me too," Luna whispers. Story about PTSD, abusive childhood, and letting go of the past. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter, T, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 6, words: 8k+, favs: 125, follows: 126, updated: 8/27/2019 published: 10/20/2016, [Harry P., Luna L.] Ginny W., Dudley D.
45While Your Lips Are Still Red » Sirius was trouble and a bit of an arsehole. But she'd been dating him since Hogwarts and it wasn't fair that Lily got everything, the house, the ring, the marriage and child...while Sirius's idea of romance was giving her a joke-shop ring and calling it a day. AU. Marauder's Era. James/Lily. Sirius/Hermione. 15k views, thanks for reading, please review :)
Harry Potter, M, English, Humor & Romance, chapters: 3, words: 7k+, favs: 112, follows: 144, updated: 8/16/2019 published: 9/28/2016, [Hermione G., Sirius B.] Remus L.
145 Don't Overthink Things » James Potter was everything Hermione had always been trying to avoid in her life. Arrogant. Cruel. A golden boy with a golden snitch in his hands. JamesHermione. JAMIONE.
Harry Potter, M, English, Romance & Adventure, chapters: 11, words: 9k+, favs: 356, follows: 275, updated: 6/19/2019 published: 2/29/2016, [Hermione G., James P.] Sirius B.
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