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FirstStory PM
Joined Dec '15

Name: *

Gender: Male


Current Stories: Ancestral Power

Motivation: I mainly started because I didn't really like any of the current stories out right now, so I decided to do my own. The Red Devil by Snapers and Into the Realm of Magic by lllllllllll were my top two favorite stories.

I don't own anything, the anime, all arts, or characters.

CURRENT CHAPTER 9 PROGRESS COMPLETION RATE: ROUGHLY 70%, Estimated size around 20000 words.

Current Allocation of time and energy as of June 2019: Suffering for a profitable future.

New Stories: I won't be starting any new stories until I've finished my current one. I've read a good amount of awesome stories, but they've never been finished. I'm not going to do that to my readers, so I'll make sure to finish my story even if I one day end up with writer's block.


Now I'm going to be clear cut and to the point when I say I am not satisfied with how I wrote this story.

Power Balancing

When I first started writing the story, I had started around the time Naruto finally started his training with Killer Bee meaning that his strongest form AT THE TIME was the Kyuubi Chakra Cloak which was why I thought him having the Wood Release (For those who read this when it first came out), the Sharingan, and the Hiraishin wouldn't be such a big deal in addition to what he currently had.

Then came all the Super Sage Mode, OP Hax Sharingan abilities, and godlike Meteor stuff which is where a problem arose. I was unofficially bound to those new techniques meaning that I HAD to add them in too making him a god that didn't even need to try which is why I've always tried to keep Naruto balanced.

Sure there have been complaints here and there about it, but that isn't why I've decided to start this rewrite. The real reason is that the decisions I made early on weren't fully thought through and have resulted in issues with what I can and can't do right now for later chapters. One of the decisions was writing out Naruto as a happy, naive, and stupid guy early on which resulted in a complete contrast with his current self around chapters 20-30.

Another reason was the fact that the story was so imbalanced that people had a hard time remembering what actually happened. I would take a two to three week break and some reviews would sometimes say "Oh right that happened. I totally forgot and had to read back."

The next reason is Natsu, Gray, Mirajane, and Erza's training. Now out of the four, Natsu was the most balanced yet even then it was still pretty broken. What I had in mind for Gray was something like Aokiji from One Piece, but that was a really fucking stupid idea considering theoretically there's nothing to challenge him so I have something more suitable in mind that I would like to rewrite. For Mirajane I originally thought the concept of her being a jinchuriki would be pretty cool, but that was also a bad idea since there was absolutely no way to make it work which is why I ended up doing a different, more sentient demon soul living in her but even then that was a bad idea so I decided to put in my original original idea that I had before the jinchuriki one. Now Erza was the MOST troublesome out of the 4. I originally thought Mirajane being a jinchuriki while Erza having a Sage Mode variant would be a nice contrast, but that was ALSO a stupid idea since there was no non-bullshit way to write it out. Not to mention there's really no point making her this op early on in the story. I tried to go for an armanent haki idea instead but that was also a wreck so I decided to scrap that and settle for some more old fashioned.

Inconsistent Character Actions

The next thing is that the changes in early chapters clash with later ones. People have noticed that some things I changed later changed because of something I edited early on creating confusion which is why I've decided to just redo it all and set it straight.

Early Rewrites

Because I decided on small rewrites early on, that created certain changes that a lot of people weren't aware of leading to confusion on what really did and didn't happen.

Plot Holes

You know it, I know it, we all know the older version was literallly riddled with plot holes. For example let's start with the elephant in the room. Why didn't Naruto just end his opponents with one move? Or maybe the "The relationship between Naruto and Mirajane was built way too fast. There's no way that they grew that close in a single year written as an exposition."

Or another thing that not many of you, if any, actually noticed. Four words so stick with me here.

Genjutsu. Doesn't. Fucking. Work.

I am being completely serious here since apparently it doesn't cast illusions, it only manipulates the chakra in the nervous systems of enemies, but guess what?


Genjutsu is essentially useless and unneeded but I still decided to put that in but not many people actually noticed.

Yeah, I am FULLY aware that those were issues but there was nothing I could have done unless I decided to un-God status Naruto and rewrite the early chapters which-- can you guess? I'm already doing now.

I haven't updated in roughly two months and that is seriously annoying me since I've been balancing out writing the new chapter, rewriting the old, and juggling real life. I've decided that it would probably be better if I were to simply just start from the beginning and steadily rewrite current chapters before re-releasing them until I get back to my current stage. Now do NOT worry because although I deleted the chapters I did not delete the actual written content so it shouldn't take me too long to rewrite them based on what's already there before I put it back out.

I took them out because I didn't want new readers to read before I was done rewriting which would only end up confusing them.

The Reasons why I don't believe in Multi-Pairings a.k.a Harems for Naruto crossovers

I'm just going to be clear cut and straight to the point when I say this and I am not intending to offend anyone, so if you do get offended then I'm sorry. I don't hate harems, but I don't necessarily "like" them either. I find them highly unrealistic and their presence in stories tend to interfere with the actual story and plot itself.

There is a clear difference between the concept of "love" and the concept of "lust" and harems fall under the latter category.

First a brief introduction. If we're talking storywise, Naruto harems are just unnecessary since a writer will HAVE to build upon the multiple relationships the main character has which will for the most part ruin the immersion into the actual written plot since the main character will have to work to "assist" his pairing members in their struggles which only diverts away from the story and stagnates progression. If the writer doesn't do so, then I don't need to speak further considering everyone knows of the "classic" harem crossover genre that starts off with a overpowered main character that has women swooning at his feet with multiple females developing attractions to him within the first few minutes of meeting him. The story will continue for about ten chapters at max before its "SURPRISINGLY" discontinued and abandoned. The reason that most people just can't seem to grasp is because the writer spent too much time worrying about pairings that he didn't think the actual fucking plot through. Putting together a well-thought out pairing isn't as easy as it seems and putting together a harem where the main character is romantically involved with all his interests is just plain stupid. In summary, it's practically pointless to read a Naruto harem story on this site since for the majority of the time it'll only end up abandoned since the writer will have no idea where to go next.

Now let's talk character wise. Naruto Uzumaki is nearly everyone's favorite crossover main character on this site, and when people read stories about their favorite main character (I'm speaking for myself here and a few others) I actually WANT him to retain at least some of his personal traits. I know it, we all know it, and there's no point in denying that canon Naruto would NEVER work out as a polygamist.

For example, all those stories that have Naruto born under different circumstances while simultaneously developing a totally DIFFERENT personality just to justify him owning a harem. Yeah, that isn't Naruto anymore, it's just an unoriginal character with his name.

Everyone likes their doses of realism, being either small or large, in their stories and I'm giving my honest, straight opinion here. You can "lust" for multiple women, but you can really only "love" one. In multi-pairing Naruto stories, there's going to be "head of the harem" girl that you prefer above all the rest and in reality the basic purpose of the extra women is to make up for what the main interest lacks. What makes a romance story fun to read is seeing the main character and his interest accept each other's faults, not using other extras and their specialties to cover those faults up.

This basically summarizes my reasons as to why I will NOT write a Naruto multi-pairing/harem story. Pretty much ever.

"Concealing" Power in Naruto fics

It's been a while since I made a rant like this. Why is Naruto in Naruto fics expected to hold back? This isn't Dragon Ball or Yugi-Oh where he says, "You think you've beaten me? This isn't even my final form!" or "Ha, you fool! My real power is this!". Someone tell me when the fuck he ever said or did that? In every one of his fights, Naruto has always brought the best he has to the table. Before anyone actually misinterprets me, the Kurama Chakra Mode I'm referring to is the mode he used when Kurama willingly shared his chakra with him in the Biju vs Biju brawl. Look at canon Naruto in Naruto to Boruto, Naruto the Last, or the Shin Uchiha arc, because the guy NEVER used Kurama Chakra Mode ever again in serious battles after receiving the Six Paths Sage Mode. Even when he's summoning Kurama's body/transformation against Toneri or Shin, his eyes still have the Six Paths symbol in them. The Biju transformation isn't locked to a mode because he can still use it when using Six Paths Mode.

Some people will argue and say, "Oh, but FirstStory you're a fucking moronic plebeian dust molecule because Naruto could have kicked the shit out of those albino kids even if he only used so-and-so mode because (It's overkill!), (He's a God and I wish I was him), (He's the messiah and should stomp on all infidels)!"

Firstly, he could accomplish the same fucking thing using Six Paths Mode and all he's gotta do is, and bear with me here, not fucking vaporize them. I don't understand why people don't think he can just use Six Paths Mode, but not use lethal fucking moves. He could use Six Paths Sage mode for every fight and just not use something that explodes. This type of holding back is okay because he's sincerely trying NOT to kill his opponent rather than holding back because he's a cocky-ass edgelord.

I'll even waste my brain cells to make up stupid hypothetical situation. Let's say Naruto encounters Godzilla. He uses Kurama Chakra Mode and turns into a giant Biju so they can have they're brawl in the middle of Tokyo. Unexpected through the power of memes and anime, Godzilla powers up and overpowers Naruto who NOW decides to go a step up into Six Paths Mode so he can even things out. Alternatively, he could have just saved himself the effort and used Six Paths Mode, summoned Kurama Mode, and put in a little extra power if he needed it since he's ALREADY in Six Paths Mode. Why the hell should I have to structure a narrative around a back-and-forth DBZ blueprint?

I dare someone to find me some snippet from the manga or anime that shows Naruto holding back in a serious fight. In fact I double dog dare someone to find a time where he said with a cocky laugh/smirk "Kurama mode or whatever stupid mode is all I need for this boy/girl/thing, so I won’t bother going all out!”

I've said it many times already so I'll say it again. Naruto has NEVER held back against ANYONE with the intention of belittling their strength. He's always treated his opponents with respect or fought them with the intent to win even if they weren't on his level. If he's held back, it's because he wasn't trying to kill whoever the fuck he was fighting. Look at his Chuunin exam fight with Konohamaru. There wasn't a single time where he thought of holding back, and fought with everything he had except with moves that would have turned the kid into a vegetable.

If there's a fic involving a Naruto who holds back because he believes the people or things he's fighting are ants waiting to be stepped on, or they're not worth his time that's not Naruto anymore. You seem to have confused him with (insert broken ass character's name here, Madara, Frieza, Beerus, Kenpachi, or you're own deluded self-insert God that has a harem, look I don't give a shit.). Bottom line is if I'm going to write a Naruto fic, I'm going to write Naruto the best I can with how he was originally created habits and personality included.

If you still believe that Naruto should be using older modes like Half Nine-Tails Mode or Full Nine-Tails Mode in a serious fight for the sake of flaunting all his forms/powers I'm going to say this straight you've either:

A. Read and enjoyed so much trash on this section you’ve forgotten what the Naruto's actual personality is like.

B. You're self-inserting into the role of the MC and pushing the idea that what YOU would like to happen is what they should have done.

C. Failed to realize some people try write the main character as they are in canon, and hold those people to your bullshit DBZ standards.

If you meet the standards above, that's fine by me. All I ask is that you quit reading my stuff, stop holding me to bullshit standards, and go back to that power fanatasy garbage where Sakura's always a screaming banshee, Sasuke's a tool, and Naruto suffered a tragic past and needs every stupid power along with anything with two X chromosomes to "heal" him because he "deserves" it for such a shitty life.

Fuck neglect fics and fuck bashing fics.

The Story is Progressing Relationships Too Fast in My Opinion

Yeah, so this part is for the people who think Naruto is developing his relations with others too fast. To be fair when has he ever NOT stuck his nose in the personal problems of other people? Naruto was in the Land of Waves for less than a month. In the span of about three weeks, he did the following: dig into the past of a cynical brat and inspired him to start believing in heroes again, he became his big brother figure, touched the hearts of an entire island's people and practically became a celebrity, befriended an assassin in training by just talking to them with interactions that could be counted on one hand, made a coldhearted, assassin who had spent years killing in a bloody country shed genuine tears, and he got fucking bridge named after him.

In the span of a month, he's become friends with about five people in Tale of a New Storm. He's clearly out of character.

Fan Art

Over the past year that I've written Ancestral Power I've never really had anyone submit any art until this day and I wanted to give a huge thank you to the artist Amenoosa whose drawn amazing works on DeviantArt including the story's new cover and the one who made it possible JuPMod who commissioned the art. They both have awesome stuff on their profiles so go check them out.

Ask me a Question

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Just delete all the quotation marks and spaces and it should work.

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