I'm Carina Llex and a huge fan of stories, regardless of their form (be it visual i.e. TV and videos, audio which includes songs, printed text from books or digital text from PCs and e-books).
My greatest loves are "Harry Potter", "Naruto", "Miraculous Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir" and "Kingdom Hearts". I love this site too, because here there is so much to read!!!! XD
My favorite characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, Severus, Sirius, Tonks and Remus (Harry Potter); Obito, Shikamaru, Hinata and Neji (Naruto); Marinette, Alya and the Kwamis (Miraculous); and Kairi, Sora, Riku, Naminé, Xion, Axel, Roxas, Ventus, Terra, Aqua, Demyx and Zexion (Kingdom Hearts). :D
25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Make your mother proud, dont smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath.
Random but HILARIOUS stuff:
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can i miss you if you never left?
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Boys are like knives, useful but they'll cut you eventually
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Life's Tough, get a helmet
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
'I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day, and tomorrow does not look good either.'
'May God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and a big bag of money.'
'Cute but evil. Things even out.'
'You're ugly, and that's sad.'
'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What the heck am I doing,
Talking to you?'
'I'm not mean. You're just a sissy.'
'I know how you feel. I just don't care.'
'School prepares you for the real world, which sucks.'
'Hating you makes me feel warm inside.'
'It's okay if you want to drop dead.'
'I would love to have a battle of the wits with you but you appear unarmed.'
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regualr soap
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought??...)
20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because??...)
23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children."
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
QUOTES TO LIVE BY
1.) Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
3.) When other little girls wanted to be ballerinas, I kind of wanted to be a VAMPIRE.
4.) Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kind of like pirates vs. ninjas, but cooler
5.) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
6.) Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
7.) If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
8.) "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
9.) "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
10.) “A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown
11.) “Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown
12.) “He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown
13.) Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
15.) When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!
16.) I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
17.) There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
18.) Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head
19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
20.) Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Collin.
21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
22.) You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
23.) They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly I think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," I don't think many people would be dead...
24.) I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
25.) Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make him or her public
26.) Guns don't kill people. I do.
27.) A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
28.) He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.
29.) My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.
30.) Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
34.) Assassinations are an extreme form of censorship.
35.) You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
36.) I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the Internet
37.) I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
38.) I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
40.) Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
41.) Bella: Don't make me bite you! Me: So, you're a cannibal?
42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.
43.) AV is Addicted to Vampires
44.) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.
45.) 'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
47.) Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
49.) Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
50.) To put it nicely, I hope you choke
51.) It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
52.) I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
53.) If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
54.) The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
55.) Would you like a cookie? So would I.
56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.
59.) A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!
60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
64.) I do what cheerios tell me.
65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (Ha-ha just like Edward Cullen!!)
67.) I'm knocking on heavens door.. Voice in back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! Me: That wasn’t my fault!! It was poor construction... I SWEAR!! Don’t look at me like that...
68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
71.) Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, But Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.
72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro.
I hope you had fun reading my profile!!!! I'm not much of a writer, so these were things I found on others'...