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Classic Mecraphone PM
Joined May '16, USA

Hmm...What to write...Meh, we'll go with standard details then.

Hello there! My name is Classic Mecraphone! Not my real name, unfortunately. Although Olaf Roboheart also has a nice ring to it...I digress. Badly.

So anyway, I'm a college student studying to be a Civil Engineer (considering how bad I am at math, this might be an awful life choice) that writes mainly for fun. Other hobbies include reading (duh), exercising, hanging out with friends, video games, anime, playing with animals and making sarcastic remarks.

When writing I only follow one rule.

Don't write the story you want to write, write the story you wish someone else would write

Things I look for when reading a fic

: At the risk of stating the obvious, basic grammar. I don't need perfect spelling and flowery adjectives to be entertained, also misspelling stuff like 'is', 'what' and mixing up 'they're' and 'there' aren't deal-breakers for me. EVERYONE makes those kinds of boo-boo's, myself most definitely included.

: Lots of conversations between characters. A lot of fics that have interesting ideas or storylines but explain everything through 3rd person omniscience and not the characters mouths really hurts my enjoyment.

: Stuff that heavily diverges from canon. Not necessarily abandoning everything and completely re-writing the whole mythos, but more like using it as the occasional crutch or jumping off point. Use the universe and characters, don't just follow it verbatim.

: A good romance, harem or otherwise. A rather obvious thing really, but this really is a point of contention for me. I've got nothing against 2 characters seeing each other for the first time and immediately porking each other's brains out, but just that act alone does not a relationship make, something I've noticed a decent amount of fics do. They buildup interaction but once sex has been achieved, the whole deal just kinda stops developing.

: A bit of sarcastic humor. This is totally my own preference, and one I bet a decent number of people would disagree with, but a few snarky assholes go a long way in making me like the story. Nothing makes me less inclined to like a character if they only act as 'unceasingly kind and loving gary/mary-stue' and nothing else.

...I take that back, I would even love an 'unceasingly kind and loving gary/mary-stue who's also kind of a schmuck about it all'.

: OC's. Sure, alot of people hate them if the popularity of most OC centered fics is any indicator, and I've definitely seen some bizarrely awful originals that made me drop a fic in just a few sentences, but if there's one thing that draws my immediate attention, it's a completely original character.

Things that make me drop a fic faster than a hot potato covered in spiders (usually)

: A story that is based around the canon pairing. It's like, dude...it's been done already. In all seriousness though I don't immediately discount a story just because of this one factor (I'd miss out on way too much good stuff) but I read fan fics because it's an opportunity to do something different.

: Extreme OOC (out of character) stories that completely change everything about a character whether it be appearance, backstory, personality, powers...and refuse to call them OC's. It's a petty gripe of mine, I know, but c'mon. Just man up and admit you made your own new character XD

: Really long fight scenes. Ok this is kind of a weird one, but accurately bringing to life the intensity of a battle in writing is difficult, and the longer said fight drags on, the more apparent this becomes. A fight should either be short and sweet, or have several layers to it due to different powers conflicting so that the 'phases' can remain 'separate' from each other, not blending together in one blob of sound effects and descriptors of how you can punch someone. Since I just did an awful job of explaining that, let me use an example.

Take the DBZ Goku vs Frieza fight. You can argue whether you like it or not, think it's boring or not, but you can't deny that the act of seeing and hearing the actual combat is what makes the thing tick (It sure ain't the dialogue, which mostly consists of GGGGGHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA). Now, take that entire fight, all the episodes and everything, and try to translate it into words.

Good luck with that.

Ideas that I'll probably never get to do because time is limited and we'll all die at some point in the future wow that's depressing

Evangelion: Steel and Skin: So the beginning of this particular plot bunny came about after I realized that guns were, on the whole, largely ineffective throughout the entirety of the show. And then the thought of, 'hey, what if the military wasn't mostly useless?' as well as, 'what if all seven EVA units actually got to work together?'

Thus, Steel and Skin was born. The plot is the same, the characters are the same...the story and the way it plays out isn't.

Because this time the Angels brought back up.

The Seraphims: the Angels we're all familiar with (Ramiel, Zeruel, etc).

The Cherubims: Angels slightly less powerful than Seraphims but still capable of engaging an EVA on somewhat equal terms

The Thrones: Just as powerful as Cherubims but have a far more chaotic AT field, making them susceptible to more conventional barrages of physical weaponry.

The Dominions: More along the line of Grunts or basic foot soldiers, they often attack in groups as they don't have either an AT field or physical makeup powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with EVAs.

The Principalities: Odd, Human sized Angels that are rare sights but seem to perform odd tasks beyond, 'kill all Humans'. They have been seen capturing the occasional Human or stealing odd bits of modern civilization, behaviors both NERV and the world at large are unable to explain.

So yeah. Seraphims are the boss monsters while the rest keep Humanity on it's toes, the Evas and military often working in conjunction to take down groups of Angels.

Ideally, the story starts off after Angel attacks around the globe stop, instead focusing all their efforts on NERV headquarters and Tokyo-3, prompting a mass transportation of Evas and their accompanying battle groups to that location.

Cue drama and action all in one glorious mess!

So I just finished going through a review a user left me and am mildly buzzed and incredibly proud of my butthurt self, so here's my rebuttal to his 'review'. Check out FOURTH ROUTE for the story where this review was left.

Oh, Guy 2506, you son of a gun, you.

Not only did you do the one thing that properly offends me-accusations of causing or acting genuinely offensive to people when I'm not-you also caught me when I just downed three jack daniel's and cokes, fresh off of watching The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West.

I am thusly both buzzed and possessing a surplus of non-sensical vocabulary and sentence structure with which to violently debunk your bullshit in a public setting, post to my profile, PM you and just generally throw a prissy pants hissy fit because this is a perfect storm of circumstances. Let's do this bitch sentence by sentence!

"I don't know what to say." - There's a lot of text after this so I guess you found your muse pretty gosh darn quick and then didn't bother to delete this opener.

"This story is awful and toxic on so many levels that it's not even funny." - I dunno man, I just got done watching the most horrendous dub of a Chinese translation of an english and it was fucking hilarious. But that's not what you're saying, so 'awful'. Meaning it's bad, either because the grammar is a mess or the plot is a mess. My grammar when writing fanfics would be a 'C' in terms of quality, since I correct basic errors as best I can and use grammar checks. Awful? Nope. Mediocre? I'd say yah.

The plot is bad? Maybe, you haven't actually given any examples of contrivances or errors aside from one which isn't even a criticism (we'll get to THAT in a moment). But, again, I actually enjoy writing and take pride in standards of logical cohesion. 'That he must the square who study it the square' this is not.

Toxic? Going by the more modern use of the word you're implying that this story is actively encouraging hurt or harm to a certain race or creed of people. Who? Vampires? Magic albino midgets? Or is it the secret subliminal text located in every fourth word reversed that actually spells out the communist manifesto?

Yeah, fuck you.

"Anyways an author can never please every reader so I guess it's alright if you couldn't impress me." - Well you just said my story is bad on an (I'm assuming) objective level and that I'm promoting violence or hate speech against somebody and left a review saying just that...so yeah I don't buy you saying it's alright. Like, at all. Hopeless Situation Warrior.

"Taking any idea to the extreme, which you've done here is never a good idea." - So if I said I was going to halfway cure the world of hunger and disease, taking that idea to the extreme of COMPLETELY curing the world of hunger and disease wouldn't be a good idea? Because that's what you're saying.

Ok, quibbles about word choice aside, what idea, exactly, did I take to the extreme? That Shirou is an emotionless machine? Clearly you didn't read the story or don't spend more than two seconds thinking about the words percolating in your grey matter because in chapters three, four and five (when Shirou reflects on his emotions upon seeing Illya for the first time, when he affirms his desire to protect her with Berserker, when he's worried and curious that he said something strange to his sister-oh look, EXAMPLES) I specifically wrote out scenes in which he is NOT emotionless or inhumane. You're not offering a criticism, you're just plain wrong.

"I hate when people write Shirou as an emotionless machine in human form, which he isn't if you ever bothered to read the VN." - Well I think we can safely say this is the real reason you wrote this joke of a review, you didn't like what I decided to write about and got all pissy about it without putting three seconds of thought into the words on screen. But let's assume this passage didn't exist and continue. I'll do you one better, it's not JUST the VN where Shirou isn't an emotionless machine, it's in ALL of the adaptations. Manga, anime, movies, you name it. Because, contrary to what your delicate sensibilities seem to believe, I am WELL aware that this Shirou is different from canon Shirou...and on THAT note!

"He was full of emotions, just not as much as a normal person and even then his emotions were pointed in a different direction compared to other people. It's just the fact that he got happy when he helped people, he had this never ending, never stopping drive to help people. He was always smiling, not the opposite which most F/SN fanfic writers think." - So technically this is more than one sentence but it's all pertinent so meh. You DO realize this site is one where people are encouraged to write outside of canon or put their own spin on characters and events, right? And who do you think you are, assuming you know what other's are thinking when they write? Because thus far this 'review' has left me with the impression that YOU'RE the one with little in the way of cogent thought. By the way, you REALLY must have not read this story worth a shit. Assuming you stopped on chapter 5 you would have had to actively AVOID reading the sections where I detail this Shirou's past. Because, yes, he IS different than canon Shirou. If I didn't explain WHY he's different you're complaints about me 'not understanding' who he is would be valid, because it would seem like I think he was always that way. Fucking Christ, it's like if any story doesn't actively adhere to canon standards it's worthless. You must be a part of The Big.

"Still you can't redo what you've already done, so I guess good luck to you and your readers." - I could absolutely go back and redo things, the Hell are you talking about? I did just that on one of my other stories because I agreed with what one of my reviewers pointed out. 'So I guess good luck to you and your readers'. This is you trying not to seem like a cunt and failing miserably, since you just accused me of encouraging hate speech or similar stuff against people, proceeded to bitch about things you were just flat out wrong about and-unintentionally or not-implied that anyone who writes outside of canon doesn't know what they're talking about.

So out of curiosity I looked at your one story (since you called mine awful I assumed yours was of naturally better quality) and bitch you make just as many grammar and spelling errors as I do, if not more. Missing commas before names, missing periods at the end of sentences and misspellings…oh, silly me. I'm not supposed to think or actually try to think shit through before I say stuff.

Drunk me is vitriolic me.

Okay, soooo...IRL events have popped up that mean my time is going to be monopolized full stop as of late. My release schedule of stories have also slowed dramatically aside from One-Shots I had saved up and expanded on so with this...I'm going to be stepping away from writing for the foreseeable future, most likely for years if not longer as my passion for writing has taken a bit of backseat. Maybe that'll change, just like how we prefer different kinds of media as we grow older but as of now Classic Mecraphone is going to be exiting stage left.

But a bunch of stories I've been working on have been updated with synopsis and the like so that it's not just a total dead stop of stuff.

Huge thanks to all who reviewed, favorited and followed all of my works and my profile will also have an update on this as well.

CM, out.

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