pictures seen here probably don't belong to me. They belong to whoever drew them and I won't take credit for them and most of the (very long) script bellow are things that I have read and loved and now want to share with you.
Harry Potter Oath
I promise to remember Tonks
Each time time I knock something down.
And I promise to remember Charlie Weasley
Whenever I'm out of town.
I promise not to obey traffic laws
For Sirius's sake of course.
And I promise to remember Lupin
When my heart fills with remorse.
I promise to remember Arthur
Whenever I am in a hospital room.
And I promise to remember the Weasley Twins
Every time fireworks boom.
I promise to remember Lily
When I see someone that holds pure beauty and love.
And I promise to remember Dobby
Whenever a pair of socks spots me.
I promise to remember Teddy
When I see someone with turquoise hair.
And I promise to remember Molly
When someone tells me they care.
I promise to remember Ginny
Whenever bogey hexes are unfurled.
And I promise to remember the Death Eaters
When someone speaks of dominating the world.
Yes I promise to love Harry Potter
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my dedication
Because I know what the wizards know.
Harry Potter isn't an obsession
It's a way of life, you know...
If you'd like a laugh, then you'll love this.
Things to do in a shop when you are bored.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
Things To Ponder:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
Some favorite sayings:
I had a thought but it got lonely and went away.
Money talks and mine says "Good-bye."
It's okay to talk to yourself, it's okay to ask yourself questions, it's even okay to answer those questions. Just don't ever ask yourself a question and then go "huh?"
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Don't spend money you don't have cause at some point they're going to want it and you're still not going to have it.
A friend will bail you out of jail at two o'clock in the morning but a true friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying "Damn that was fun!"
A friend will help you move but a true friend will help you move a body
Due to the worsening of the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily turned off.
I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
My train of thought got derailed.
All things in the world are mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesn't matter.
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Most people have a filter between their brain and their mouth that tells them when they shouldn't say something. Me, not so much
Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-tip again.
I tried to keep an open mind but my brains kept falling out
You have hate mail. . . you have more hate mail. . . your hate mailbox is full.
Knowledge is power. . . power corrupts. . . study hard. . . BE EVIL!
Your talking is getting in the way of my telling you to shut up.
I'm in hillbilly hell! My IQ is dropping by the second! I'm becoming one of them!
Why is the rum gone?!
'Stress' A condition brought on by overriding the body's desire to kick someone's ass.
Always glad to inadvertently inspire genius.
I aim to please - no you don't; else you'd be willing to share - yes I do; just because I'm no pleasing you, doesn't mean that I'm not pleasing myself!
Like the founding fathers, I believe in the loose interpretation of the rules.
The only ones who yell about cheating are the losers
Ranting and Repetition give the illusion of wisdom and charisma.
Real ninjas believe in world peace and friendship through superior firepower.
If you can't beat them, join them. And make sure to beat him later, much harder, with a bigger stick.
I consider it my civic duty to piss you off
My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber and that I am therefore excused from saving the universe.
What doesn't kill you... usually succeeds in the second attempt.
You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.
It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.
It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.
I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.
Don't look at me in that tone!
Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?
If you can't beat them, join them
If you can't join them, sue them,
then rub it in their faces.
"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.
Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity.
Death is God's way of saying "You're fired."
Suicide is our way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing-Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. Anime, video games, cartoons, comics, you name it...
I once read that only math can save us now. Put this in your profile if you're screwed.
If you are a Gaara Fanatic copy this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you ever suffered from FanFiction withdraw copy this into your profile!
If you think Orochimaru is what you get when Michael Jackson and Voldemort have unprotected sex, C&P this into your profile.
All the good men in this world are either gay, taken, or fictional characters. Copy if true. It's not fair...-sob-
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. In class, all the time!
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
98 percent of the population would die if Johnny Depp said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy this onto your profile if you would be one of the 2 percent that is laughing your ass off. I think that I'm actually part of the 100% *sweatdrop*
If you have ever considered going to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.
If your family wonders how you can remember all the naruto character's names, copy and paste this into your profile.
If Fanfiction is to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.
Doing homework sucks. Copy and paste this into your profile if you agree.
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me. "
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".
Love the stupidity and randomness. NOW
QUOTES TO LIVE BY
1.) Do not use an ax to kill a fly on your friends' head.
2.) Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
14.) Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head
19.) "Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
21.) Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"
Guns don't kill people. I do.
My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.
30.) flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
31.) Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
32.) The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
33.) The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
34.) Assassination is an extreme form of censorship.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.
39.) Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
42.) Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.
46.) I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
48.) I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
To put it nicely, I hope you choke.
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band-Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
56.) You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
57.) Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
58.) A day without sunshine is like... night.
59.) A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water!
60.) Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
61.) Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
62.) Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
63.) I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
64.) I do what cheerios tell me.
65.) I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
66.) I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!
67.) I'm knocking on heaven's door.. voice in the back round: Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me: That wasn't my fault!! It was poor construction... I SWEAR!! Don't look at me like that...
68.) If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurtling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurtling to earth.
69.) My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
70.) Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
72.) Okay...so there's this thing called retarded-ness and me and my friends, well...We've gone pro.
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long?)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)
I AM THE GIRL
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, Twitter, Facebook because I just don't see the appeal. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one else seems to have the time to do anymore, who loves and is obsessed with Harry Potter, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her (yet it would be nice) and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, Pixel Alice, ME LOVEY JAZZY, Gandalf the Grey-Edelwiess, DoYouReallySeeMe, Potter's Angels, CelticHeiressFiona, The Love Dragon, I-am-a-slash-addict, One-Who-Loves-Sesshy, sakurademonalchemist, MadWomanWithABlueBox
Smile; it confuses the enemy.
I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.
The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a crib house whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacefully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car… (from 64. ArmenianGrl at )
"Do you feel that?" "What?" "Soul crushing disappointment." "Yeah, I've been feeling that a lot lately"
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
If you think Akatsuki rule, put this on your profile!!
Hidan: * - *
Pein: - : : -
Sasori : -_-
Zetsu: ( (o_o) )
Add us to your profile to help us in world domination.
Check this out...
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile. (Yes I can read it)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching'' Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples
I ran with scissors, and lived!
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
SPAM (I'M SORRY!!! BUT I'M AFRAID OF GHOSTS!!!)
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded