If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you have ever made one of those"copy and paste this into you profile" thingies, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Sasuke from "Naruto" completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken/Duck Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.
95percent of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas brothers and Justin Bieber on top of a skyscraper about to jump off. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're the 5 percent that would shout, "Jump assholes!"
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with yourCOMPUTER, Copy Paste this into your profile.
If you have ever wished that an anime character would come to life, copy and paste this into your profile (Grell, kill my enemies!).
If you believe Itachi has secret laughing fits when no one is watching, copy and paste this in your profile.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.If You Haven't Shot Anyone Yet, Copy And Paste This Onto Your Profile. (Pat yourself on the back while you're at it.)
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you absolutely LOVE anime, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself andLOSEwhen it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you've ever left one room to get something from another room, then once you were in the other room, forgot what you were trying to get, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever threatened aCOMPUTERor video game console, copy and paste this in your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think the kids should just give the rabbit some freaking Trix, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
Mummy... Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool,
and when he pulled the trigger back it shot with a great crack!
Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got thegold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best.Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy, why'd it have to be me, no one deserves this. Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack.Mummy listen to me if you would,I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress.Mummy I wanted to live.
But mummy I must go now the time is getting lateMummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true.Mummy all I wanted to say is "Mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost. Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry.Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
--copy and repost if you care --
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies and nachos. The light has tofu. Nothing more.)
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
RIP We shall remember
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your Kindness will be rewarded.
Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
10. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
11. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
12. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
13. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
14. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
15. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
16. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
17. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
18. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
19. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
20. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
21. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
22. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
23. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
24. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
25. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
26. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
27. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
28. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.
29. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.
30. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
31. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
32. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
33. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of MM's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things